


Something lost, something found

by Winters_solstice



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Experimentation, F/M, Happ-ish ending, I think there's a little PTSD in there, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Threesome, Torture, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, domestic fluffy stuff, plums, use a condom folks!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-06-07 19:01:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 91,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6820291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winters_solstice/pseuds/Winters_solstice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katherine got more than she bargained for when the prospect of extra money arose. Now she's running for her life in a country thousands of miles away from home and trying to understand what exactly was done to her. She eventually finds refuge with James, a man who has helped her more than once since the incident, she doesn't know much about him other than his reason for helping her, "They made you a monster, I know what it's like." How far will he go help her? And how far will she go to help him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I looked down at one hand as I stepped off the bus, with the other I adjusted my bag once again so the strap sat comfortably on my shoulder, I sighed at the pitiful amount of change that was left over from the journey. I exchanged the coins in my hand for the phone in my pocket; I flicked through my recent emails to check the address of where I was supposed to go. Slowly I wandered down the street, _I’m on the right road, but where the hell is…_

“Ah-ha, there you are!” As I walked through the door I tried to hide my surprise of how much of a shit-hole the place was. _This better be worth it, I better not catch anything! This place does not look sanitary whatsoever!_ I grimaced at my own thoughts.

“Hello Miss, you must be here for the trial!" My attention was drawn to the dark haired woman sat behind a collapsible desk covered with a white cloth. On the table, in front of her clasped hands, sat a clipboard, a dozen names were written on a sheet on paper, majority of them ticked off. Beside her sat a stack of empty forms.

“Yes, what do I do?” I asked nervously.

“Your name, Miss?” The woman looked over the names written on the page.

“Erm, Katherine-“

“Ah! Miss Holt, please take one of these,” She handed me a clean form and pen, “Just make your way through that door over there and fill it out. Thank you!” I took the items she offered me and wandered over to the door at the rear of the room.

 

I sat in a room along with fifth-teen other participants; we’d all been stripped of our possessions and then briefed on the drug we’d be testing, something to help with sleep. I didn’t know much about drug trials, I only signed up because the money was too good to turn down; and money was exactly what I needed, it would ease getting by each day. Men in lab coats entered through a second door in the room and escorted us out and down a corridor with doors covering both sides. _This looks more like a prison than whatever this is supposed to be._ Unease started to fill my stomach, as they assigned us to a room. We were all handed a little paper cup, a blue pill inside, and a cup of water. One-by-one we took the pill. There was not a sound shared between us, as if the air was dead, and that just increased the feeling building inside me.

“Now please enter the rooms and relax on the bed, as if it were your nightly routine. We will be monitoring you at all times.” The woman who briefed us spoke, breaking the silence. The door squeaked loudly as I pushed against it, I then entered the small room. A white metal framed bed was the only occupant of the room beside myself. I jumped when I heard the door close and lock behind me; I placed a hand on my chest, trying to ease its rapid beating.

“You’re fine. Remember, you’re getting a fuck-load of cash for this. A few more hours, you’ll be home watching TV like this _never_ happened.” I tried to reassure myself. I lay down on the bed, and stared at the dull light in the centre of the ceiling. As my mind started to go fuzzy, my eyelids feeling heavy, limbs feeling even heavier, I just caught the sound of hissing. _Is that gas?_ My mind was slowing _It-it doesn’t smell like gas…_ I squinted, struggling to see the light as if something was smothering it. A panic started to rise up in me, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t move. It registered a few seconds before everything went dark that people were shouting, screaming even, begging to be let out.

 

 

 

“Miss Holt, can you hear me?” A male voice asked, it seemed so distant, so far away. It took me a minute to come around, I felt drowsy, all I wanted was to go back to sleep. After a while I opened my eyes, a man with dark eyes and a soft, kind look to his face was at my eye level, I let out a surprised yelp and felt myself redden with embarrassment.

“How are you feeling Miss Holt?”

“I think I’m alright,” I glanced around, _still in the same room, as before, everything is clear, no foggy weird stuff._ “Just feeling a bit, disorientated.”

“I’m Doctor Ingram. Have you experienced any side effects from the drug? Perhaps hallucinations, sickness, headaches, anything like that?” He asked, his voice rough and gravelly.

“I think I hallucinated, maybe… I thought the room was all foggy, like it was filling up with something. And I heard shouting.” My voice was unusually quiet.

“Ah! The other participants experienced the same thing,” He paused for a moment, as though something about me had caught his eye. “Are you well enough to follow me, I’d like to do some follow-up tests. Blood pressure and what not.”

“I guess.” I answered, pushing myself to the edge of the bed. Doctor Ingram helped me to my feet. I was unsteady for a moment, the room blurred for a second before I came to my senses.

 

Step by step, which were pretty small steps by the way; the man and I exited the room and began walking down the corridor toward a door I hadn’t passed through before. Suddenly I lost my balance, one foot catching on the other and sending me to the ground. I attempted to grab the man beside me but it did nothing to ease my fall.

“Oh! Miss Holt, are you alright?” The man asked as he bent down to help me up.

“I’m fine. Just lost my balance for a moment.” I quietly replied. The next few meters I used the wall and reluctantly accepted the help of the doctor to keep myself up, not just from feeling drowsy and weak, but out of fear that had settled deep in my bones.

“Tell me, why is it that a Doctor needs to pack heat?” I asked, readying myself physically and mentally for what was going to happen next. Before he could answer, a blood-chilling screech could be heard emanating from behind one of the doors. The doctor moved away from me, both of us turned toward the noise. Suddenly a hideous creature burst from the room, and just as quickly as it appeared so did a group of armed men. Bullets started to fly and blood and limbs and other body parts were flung across the walls and floor of the corridor. I turned to see the doctor pull his firearm from his waistband, hidden beneath his shirt, and head toward the fighting abandoning me.

 

Fear pumped through me as I tried to run as far away from the creature, armed men and the doctor. Every couple of steps I fell against the wall, I was too weak and adrenaline didn’t seem to be having the desired effect, _something’s wrong._ Each door I passed was locked, as I glanced through the small glass window in each of the doors, my face paled: most of the participants were dead the odd ones who were alive were restrained. Except me. As the gunfire ceased I heard men shouting over what I assumed was a radio.

“Subject Eighty-four terminated.”

_I want to get out of here. I need to get out of here._

“Miss Holt! Stop where you are!” Doctor Ingram demanded.

“No! You’re monsters! What the fuck is all of this!” I screamed, I silently cursed myself; _I need to save what energy I have for getting the fuck out of there_. I didn’t stop when I heard the safety of a gun being turned off. I moved faster, hoping and praying that the door I was heading for was unlocked and even more that it led to an exit.

“Congratulations Miss Holt. The testing seems to have been a success in your case, though in what capacity, I’m not sure. Therefore I won’t kill you, but if you insist on disobeying me, I will shoot you.”

“Fuck you!” I spat. I pushed myself from the wall, stumbling for a split-second before I forced myself to run toward the door. A bolt of pain ran up and down my side followed a near deafening bang. I closed my eyes and begged someone, something to get me far away from there.

 

I felt weightless, as though I was floating. That feeling disappeared as quickly as it appeared. The next moment my ears were filled with the sounds of a busy street, car horns blaring close by. Foreign words and laughter were being exchanged in loud conversations within a crowd of people. I slowly opened my eyes. I was no longer in the corridor being threatened and more than likely pursued, rather I was stood in an alleyway. I span around, there were no doors, just a small alleyway filled with bins.

“What the hell!” I wondered aloud.

After the shock and fear fell away, the pain in my side became noticeable. I glanced down to see a hole torn through my shirt, blood slowly soaking around it. _He shot me. H-he bloody shot me!_ When my back hit the wall, I allowed myself to slide down it until I hit the floor. I hissed as the wound burned. I crossed my arms around me, hiding the blood and injury from sight. I sat in silence for what felt like hours, when the calm finally cracked, sobs wracked my body. A female voice came from beside me, her words were foreign to me.

“I’m sorry. I don’t. I don’t understand.” I managed to get out between my sobs. The woman knelt beside me; she slowly opened a bag and offered me a tattered coat, the smile on her face made me feel at ease. I gingerly took it from her and thanked her. She nodded and left me where I was. Carefully I pulled it on, wrapping it around my injured frame.

 

Curiosity got the better of me, once I gathered all the courage I could, I decided to look at the wound to see the damage done. It was a through and through, no bullet remained; it had gone through my right side. There was no real damage, not what I could tell. My brow furrowed when I noticed how the wound seemed to shrink slowly, it grew smaller and smaller but never closed completely.

“Wake up. Katherine. Wake up. This is all just a nightmare all right? You must’ve got really bad food poisoning and this is all some awful nightmare.”

For some time I sat and tried to calm myself, tried to reason with myself that this was all fake, but I was only trying to convince myself.

“Okay, if this is real. If this isn’t some terrible, horrendous dream, then I really need to find out where I am.” I told myself. After a lot of effort –and pain- I managed to get myself upright and leave the alleyway. The street beyond me was bustling, full of people getting along with their lives.

“Excuse me?” I tried getting the attention of a passer-by; they gave me an odd look and continued on their way.

“Excuse me?” I attempted again, hoping that someone would understand.

“Are you okay?” An accented voice asked. I turned to see a small group of young people, probably no older than I.

“I-I seemed to have gotten lost,” I lied, “I don’t know where I am. Where am I?” I asked, trying to keep my tears at bay. They shared looks with one another before letting out a small chuckle and smiling.

“Bucharest.” The man replied. I couldn’t hide my surprise or supress the profanity that flowed from my mouth. I thanked the group and wandered blindly down the street, _what the hell happened. What is going on?_ I kept on walking I didn’t want to stop. I think I hoped that if I walked for long enough, I’d end up back home, safe and sound. But I knew. I knew deep down, I was in trouble. I was beyond fucked.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“This is most certainly not a dream. Dreams, or rather nightmares don’t last days.” I growled as I continued to wander the streets again, my stomach announcing its presence as it had been for hours. I kept travelling from place to place in the city. Cowering like a pathetic injured animal in the ends of alleyways was how I spent my nights, my days were spent begging on street corners and public places. If I got enough money, I’d get myself some warm food, maybe a drink if I had enough; if I didn’t, I was forced to look through the trash for remnants of food. Not my proudest moment. I was at a loss, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, I was scared, and my sleep was consumed by nightmares. Each night was filled with memories of being in that room, each night was different. One night I’ll be in excruciating pain and then feel nothing, just a blank emptiness; another night I’ll feel my body convulse and break and mend and hear screeching and inhuman noises leave my body. Then some nights _they_ burst in, pin me down, sedate me and restrain me. I can’t escape. At the thought of those dreams I wiped away the tears that fell down my cheeks.

 I found myself a quiet alleyway and began to pick through rotting and half eaten food trying to find something edible, something that wouldn’t damage my dignity even further.

“Ah-ha!” I exclaimed, finding half an uneaten sandwich. Without thinking I took a huge bite of it, regretting it seconds later. I leaned forward, what _was_ in my stomach emptying all over the rubbish. _I think that was the last of my dignity._

“Well fuck me!” I sighed once I’d regained composure. I threw the remaining bit of sandwich in with the contents of my stomach and moved onto the next bin. I stretch up onto my tiptoes to rummage through the next bin; I ripped through bags and scavenged what I could. A flash of pain ran up the right side of my body drawing a pained cry from my lips when I leaned too far. I tumbled backwards, landing harshly on the ground, the wind getting knocked from me. A sudden worried voice came towards me; I glanced towards its origin to see a man stood a few feet away, seemingly reluctant to come any closer. He spoke again, but it was foreign to me.

“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean. I’ll leave, I-I don’t want any trouble!” I held my hands up in surrender, signalling I didn’t mean to cause trouble. The man’s brows furrowed in confusion. I fell to my side as my stomach convulsed again, making me heave. I let out a pained sob as the pain in my side flared up again.

“You’re English.” The man’s voice didn’t hold the accent like the young people I’d spoken to days before.

“No shit Sherlock,” I spat, everything was injured, my dignity, my body and mind. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” I added.

“You’re hurt.” He spoke quietly it was almost a whisper. Until he got too close, I hadn’t noticed him taking small steps toward me, slowly leaning down, his arm extending toward me.

“No. Don’t!” I tried to pull away. He stepped back, holding his hands up like I hand done moments before. It was silent between us until a loud gurgle from my gut cut it like a knife. He looked down at me, his brows furrowing again.

 He pushed his hand into a bag he was carrying, I watched intently as he revealed some kind of fruit. He knelt down as slow as he could and just as slowly stretched out his arm to me, fruit in hand. The look in his eyes was pleading, it was as though he recognised the situation I was in, like he’d been in the same position before: hungry, injured and terrified. I lifted my hand up and gingerly took the fruit from him, bringing it to my lips and taking a small bite, testing it. Juices filled my mouth, cooling the burning of the acid from my stomach. I moaned like it was the first thing I’ve eaten in my life, like it was my first time experiencing food. I gazed back at the man, _you sir, are a saviour!_ He now had a slight blush coating his cheeks. I tilted my head, studying him as I ate, he edged closer, pulling away the side of my coat to bare my injury. It still hadn’t healed, there was a hole in my side that wouldn’t close, but oddly enough there was no signs of infection. I had become accustomed to almost ignoring it except when bolts of pain set my nerves on fire. I watched the man as I felt his fingers pry my shirt from my skin. His hair was dark. Although he hid it under a cap, when the sun caught the ends it shone like melted chocolate. When I could glance under the rim of the baseball cap, a thin layer of dark stubble coated his jaw. I hissed when he put pressure on the area around my wound, ours eyes met for a few seconds. His eyes were breath taking, like the sea during a storm. He whispered an apology before standing and searching through the bag he was carrying.

 I devoured what remained of the fruit and sat quietly as he fished through the bag.

“W-what are you doing?” I asked, the area around of my wound beginning to ache. He withdrew some hard plastic packaging, snapping it into a long length and folding it to increase its strength.

“This is going to hurt.” Again his voice was rough yet quiet. I nodded as my vision started to blur with tears, _I’ve had enough just let this nightmare end!_ The man knelt down again, giving me an apologetic look the entire time.

“Please. Be quiet.”

“I’ll try.” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. He placed a hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me down until I was flat against the ground. Gradually he pushed the plastic into my wound, I bit my hand, trying to stifle the pained sounds emanating from me.

“Shrapnel.” He stated bluntly as he withdrew the plastic now bloodied with specs of metal mixed in. He wiped the makeshift instrument and entered the wound again and again, each time withdrawing with more metal fragments; meanwhile I lay there, the taste of blood in my mouth and my brain trying to process the pain I was going through.

“Done.”

“T-t-thank you.” I spoke through my pain-induced haze. He helped me sit up, leaning me against the wall of the alleyway. The stranger merely nodded before standing, discarding the piece of plastic into one of the nearby bins. As he began walking away he threw me another fruit, muttering words I didn’t hear. The stranger shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and continued walking away.

“Wait! Please!” I cried out, desperately trying to stand. He hesitated and tilted his head so he could see me out the corner of his eye.

“Thank you…for…all this but…why? W- who are you?” I questioned.

“I know how it feels,” his voice grew quiet toward the end. “James.” He added after a moment as if he was figuring out whether he should or shouldn’t.

“Thank you again James. I’m Kate. I- I don’t know what… ” The words got stuck in my throat. I heard him make a sound, and then I saw a ghost of a smile before he disappeared into the sea of people in the street.

 My fingers danced over the area of my wound, but there was no pain. I glanced down to see nothing but and angry red patch of skin. _What did they do to me?_ I wasn’t sure if the fear I felt was from the thought of the people that did this to me, that I was just a test subject, or that I was scared of what I had become. Despite everything, I knew I had to keep moving, had to find food, money, shelter, and at some point maybe some new clothes. That afternoon, my mind wandered back to the man, James, who had helped me, he didn’t seem fazed by my condition, just…helped. I just hoped I’d be able to survive long enough to make it back home, how I’d get home… I didn’t know.


	3. Chapter 3

Things started getting easier after that. I wandered around a lot more, found the best areas for begging and I had started getting skilled at it, it made eating a lot easier. I saved some coins each day and after a few days I had enough to buy myself a new shirt, something warmer and which wasn’t blood soaked. I even managed to find the odd homeless shelters in the city, and when I couldn’t find one or they were full I had become better at sleeping in places that were warmer and safer than being out in the open on the streets. I still had my nightmares, some nights were worse than others, some nights I just dreamt of darkness, those were the best nights. On one particularly long day I found refuge in a small alley, I was hidden from sight. I was safe. I still didn’t have a clue how I’d get home; I was still working on that.

“Why have you been absent from college Kate? Well I needed some extra money to pay rent and eat and y’know live and these crazy assholes did _something_ and I ended up in Bucharest with no way of getting home. So yeah, the past two weeks have been amazing Emily, fan-fucking-tastic. And I know I sound like a mad woman and at this point I’m starting to think that yes… I am in fact losing my mind. But only a little bit.” I mocked as I bit into some pastry I bought earlier on in the day.

 

A small breeze invaded the alley, causing me to pull my knees to my chest and shiver. I sighed; _it’s going to be another cold night._ As the night went on, getting colder with each passing hour, it was miracle that I had fallen asleep at all. But my mind was restless. Unlike all the other nightmares and dreams I had been having, this one was different. I watched as a man viciously beat his wife, I sensed that this wasn’t his usual temperament but something had snapped in him. I watched unable to do anything as he wrapped his hands around her neck, restricting her breathing. I screamed, begged him to stop. He couldn’t hear. I screwed my eyes shut and clamped my hands over my ears as I tried to cover the sound of a skull being bashed with a door. I woke suddenly, then heaved and emptied my stomach to the right of me. It ached as I continued heaving and retching, the images not leaving my mind. Once it was over I leaned back against the wall, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down.

“Lovely Kate. Has no one ever told you to not throw up where you sleep? Hm?” I chastised myself. I picked myself up off the ground deciding I would sleep somewhere else. Still deeply traumatised with my dream. I found a rather comfy bench in a small park, managing to sleep the night without any more unwelcome dreams.

 

Once again I spent the day begging, I really fancied a coffee, something to take my mind off last nights unpleasantness. I thanked those who shared their money with me, I smiled brightly at those who’d give me bits of food or drink whether it was a bar of chocolate or some drink. By mid-afternoon I had accumulated enough to buy myself a coffee and something warm to eat. I knew I got disgusted looks from some people, I was filthy, I only managed to clean my face and hands in public restrooms but that was it. After I had purchased a rather cheap but nevertheless extremely tasty coffee, I decided to take a stroll, to stretch my aching limbs. Suddenly blaring sirens flew past me, what I assumed was police and ambulance services were definitely in a hurry to get to somewhere. I kept strolling through the city; I was close to the alley last night and I grew curious as to whether it was at all habitable. But that’s when I saw it, the police tape. A crowd had gathered around the building, the alley however was inaccessible. _Shit!_ I silently cursed.

“What happened?” I asked realising a moment too late I probably wouldn’t get a response. But I was in luck.

“A man murdered his wife.”

My heart rate became rapid, _but it was just a nightmare, wasn’t it?_ I silently questioned. Though when the police marched out the husband, I hadn’t realised I had dropped my coffee until someone cursed and started yelling at me. I couldn’t stay there, so I fled.

 

I sat in a park, my knees pulled tightly to my chest, fear making my entire body shake. _Did I make that happen? Is she dead because of me?_ My thoughts were going a million miles per hour, each new thought made me fall deeper into despair and guilt. I feared for my sanity. I began questioning whether I was losing it. I rested my forehead on my knees, I drifted off into the darkness and the exhaustion that overcame me. I fell into a land of dreams again, but this time it was pleasant. A couple wandered through the park, the man, he was nervous. I tilted my head as he stopped the woman by a fountain; he threaded a rose through her hair. She smiled the brightest smile, a small giggle leaving her lips, as if life couldn’t get any better. Swiftly, he got down on one knee, pulling a small ring box from his pocket. The woman gasped, her hands cupping her mouth and nose in shock and happiness. He uttered words I didn’t understand, but I was sure it was a wedding proposal. She nodded, tears flowing down her cheeks; he slipped the ring onto her finger. Those around erupted into cheers and were clapping for the lovers. Something drew me from my dream, I groaned as I lifted my head up. I couldn’t understand what the woman in front of me was saying, but something drew my gaze past her, I saw the same couple enter the park. My heart was in my throat as I watched it all unfurl into front of me. Whatever this was, this ability, it had planted a seed of fear deep inside of me. _Happiness… why can’t I just see that? Why must I see the darkness that the world has to offer? Why can’t I just see the light?_ I ran from the park, by now it was early evening. I needed somewhere to sleep. Any other day food would’ve been a priority but I had lost all appetite.

 

I ran through alleyways, emotions beginning to overwhelm me. Tears fell down my cheeks, blurring my vision. A tingling feeling in my fingers pulled my gaze down to them. As I moved them, they seemed to appear and disappear, blue smoke curling around my hands. Confusion washed over me, followed by the feeling of when a car lurches when stopping suddenly. I found myself thrown a few metres in front of me, blue mist filling my vision for a split-second then disappearing. I rolled across the ground, the harsh concrete cutting into my face, hands and knees. When I came to a stop, I curled up, laying in the foetal position and cried. _This is worse than a nightmare I’m in Hell. I’m a monster!_ I wanted to scream to let it all out. I didn’t understand what was happening to me, I just wanted to be the student I was a couple weeks before.

 

I lay there for hours, the night had long since settled in, but I was too numb to feel the cold bite it had. The city had come alive like it always did during the night; I had always thought it quite beautiful and humorous despite the situation I was in. But that night out of all the nights I’d survived so far, was that night a trio of drunken men stumbled –literally- upon me. Their words were harsh; though I didn’t understand them I sensed malice in their words. I quickly realised that they wouldn’t just pass when a foot found its way into my gut, the wind being stolen from me. I gasped and groaned. In my weak state they managed to pick me from the ground without much trouble, then pinned me against the wall using their weight to keep me there.

“L-let me go!” I demanded, my voice hoarse.

“Ah! English bitch.”

“Pretty thing.”

“Get your hands off me!” I tried to push them off me but all that achieved was another kick followed by a hard punch. I wasn’t going to give up; adrenaline had begun to pump through my veins. They pushed me against the opposite wall, crushing my chest against the cold stone. I felt their hands on me, searching my pockets. When they found what money I had remaining they shared words with one another, words I didn’t understand.

“Whore.”

One man put his arm around me, forcing me into his front, pressing me against him. The other two laughed, sharing another few words before stumbling toward me. I struggled, kicked and lashed out but gained nothing.

“Stupid whore!” One yelled as he hit me across the face. I attempted to scream despite my throat and voice hurting from crying. All that earned me was a punch to the gut.

 

Suddenly I was thrown to the ground, my head hitting the ground with so much force my vision blurred and darkened around the edges. I tried to stay conscious out of pure fear and panic of what they were going to do to me. I only just registered the small mewl of agony that passed my lips as I tried to move. I tried to focus on what was happening; I could hear fighting, people being thrown and landing far away. With what strength I had I attempted to pull myself across the ground toward the street. It was only until a familiar voice filled my ears that I let the darkness take over. All I could remember before I submitted to the darkness was being lifted gently from the ground, gentle words being whispered to me in a language I didn’t know.

 


	4. Chapter 4

The strong smell of coffee mixed with something strong roused me from the darkness. I grimaced as I opened one eye, my body ached in places I didn’t realise could ache.

“Easy. Easy.” A familiar voice warned.

When I couldn’t move my hands, I glanced down to see my hands enveloped with another’s: forcing me to hold a steaming cup of what I assumed was coffee. I let out a small noise of acceptance, the other set of hands retracted. I drew the cup to my lips, taking a tentative sip before I burst into a coughing fit.

“W- what is this?” I spluttered.

“Thought that maybe you could use something strong.” The man lifted a bottle of whiskey.

“It- it’s James right?” I questioned, meeting familiar stormy blue eyes. He hummed in return.

“Kate?” He sounded unsure. I nodded gently, regretting it immediately when the world span. I let out a slow breath, trying to regain my composure. I peered around to see where I was. Instead of an alley, I found myself looking over a small park lit by streetlights; we were sat on the ground, our backs leaning against a bench. Glimpsing at my hands, I saw they were wrapped in a white cloth; I lifted my top to see more white cloth wrapped around my waist. My brows furrowed remembering the events leading up to where I now found myself.

“What happened? There was those men and-and I’m not sure…” My voice fell quiet.

“I-I stopped them…” He admitted, guilt filling his voice.

“Y-you hurt them?” My eyes widened in shock. He turned to me suddenly; his eyes were also wide with shock.

“I-I couldn’t… they would’ve…killed you…I couldn’t let them.” His voice held sadness.

“Oh.” I replied.

“I…knocked them out…”

I nodded. We quickly fell into silence for a time, him drinking from the whiskey bottle, me drinking a concoction of coffee and whiskey. I felt myself giving in to sleep, the alcohol running through my bloodstream lulled me into the darkness, my head lolled to the side, resting on James’ shoulder. I felt him tense up suddenly with the contact, but ever so slowly he began to relax. He murmured something I didn’t quite catch before sleep pulled me under.

 

I felt cold. It ate into my skin, crawling into my bones. My body shivered uncontrollably. Everything was white; I couldn’t make anything out, wasn’t sure if there even was anything to make out. A rush of white-hot pain pierced my mind making me scream in agony. I gripped my head, the pain not ending, neither were my screams. It subsided for a moment, only to restart but the pain increased tenfold, my mind felt like it was melting. Something startled me, pulling me from the agony. My eyes flew open, my breathing and heartbeat were rapid, and I struggled calming them down. _What the fucking hell was that!_ It was almost as though a ghost of the pain still played through my head. I was dazed for a few moments, I could hear heavy breathing. But it wasn’t just mine.

 

James was a few feet away, holding his head in his hands, his fingers threaded through his hair, tugging at it harshly.

“James?” I started moving toward him becoming worried. His head shot up, fixing me with gaze, a mix of fear and hatred dancing in his eyes. He began speaking fast, it sounded like Russian. At first it was quiet, quickly rising to a near shout. He stood, his whole body tense, his hands clenched into fists. He looked pissed. _What is going on? What happened?_ I looked at him in confusion and fear. James’ brow furrowed as he clocked my expression.

“W- who are you? Who are you working for?” He demanded.

“I- I don’t know what you’re on about!” I exclaimed, backing away from him as he stepped forward. He lunged forward, gripping my coat, pulling me close to his face.

“Who are you working for?” He growled out.

“No one. I swear!”

“What did you just do?” His voice became a lot darker.

“I don’t know!” I cried out.

“Tell me!”

“Please, James, I don’t know. I don’t know.” I broke down, tears running down my cheeks and loud sobs leaving my body. As if he realised what he was doing, he suddenly let go of me instead he sat beside me.

 

“I just want to go home…” I whispered as my sobs calmed down. I pulled my knees to my chest, and wrapped my arms around my knees.

“You’ve been following me. Why?” James stated after a few minutes of silence.

“Excuse me?”

“Most places I’ve been, I’ve seen you.”

“Coincidence. I’ve been wandering around at random, s-sure I found good places to beg and I returned but I haven’t been following you. I never saw you,” I decided to then lighten the conversation “What if you’ve been following me hm?”

James went awfully quiet, a red hue found its way onto his cheeks.

“I- I thought that you were following me. So…I may or may not have been keeping tabs on you. I- I thought you were going to…that maybe you were…”

“You’re awfully paranoid, you know that right?” I tilted my head, my brows furrowing. There was something about him I couldn’t quite pin down, it had piqued my curiosity.

 

“You were hurt. Why?” James asked.

“I fell-“

“No. The bullet.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I had tried forgetting what had happened _there_. “You wouldn’t believe me anyway.”

“You spoke. After you were knocked out,” His voice was quiet. “About being made a monster.” James’ voice was strained as though he was trying to stop himself from choking on his words.

“You’re not going to let this drop are you?” I asked, a small smile pulling at the corner of my lips. I found his insistence amusing. He shook his head ‘no’. So I sat and told him. I explained how I was a student, living alone and having to support myself. I told him how I found myself strapped for cash and signed up for the drug trial so I could cover the cost for food. Then spoke quietly about what had transpired since then. James had sat and listened intently, nodding every so often.

“They will be looking for you.” James realised, voicing my worst fears.

“Probably.” I finally admitted to myself. James stood abruptly, his gaze flitting to everywhere in the vicinity.

“James?” I questioned.

“You get as far away from the city, away from me. You leave and you don’t come back!” James demanded.

“Why?”

“I won’t let you destroy everything! I won’t let you compromise me!” He growled out, his voice low and dangerous. He turned and started walking away at a hurried pace, as though he was afraid of being seen. _What is his problem?_ I pondered.

“You really are paranoid, you know that right? What happened to you?” I called out, despite everything telling me to leave be the man who had helped me twice and admitted to following me, _which is really kind of creepy._ I couldn’t help but ask.

 

I wasn’t just going to up and leave because some guy had ordered me to. I glared at his retreating figure until it disappeared into the black of night. But when I spent time thinking of what he had said, I realised, that maybe leaving might not be so bad. If they were coming for me, I needed to hide.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a few weeks since that night, despite my initial plan; I had fled to the outskirts of the city. My nights were spent recovering from nightmares of _those_ _people_ finding me, dreaming of what they could possibly do to me. I had noticed myself becoming weaker and weaker by each passing week; my begging had become less and less effective each day. People brushed past me, ignored me, and trampled on me when the day got busy. Having something to eat was rare; something to drink, even rarer. The only respite I received was when it rained, but then I only ended up sleeping in cold wet clothes. I couldn’t win.

 

I sat with my back against a wall one particularly busy morning, people passed, heading to school and work. Just getting along with their lives. I begged each person to spare something, begging for help, for _something_. When I thought all hope was lost, a man knelt in front of me. He looked no older than forty, he was smartly dressed, _another person heading to work._ I thought to myself.

“Here.” He gently placed some kind of sandwich and bottle of water in my hands, giving me a kind smile before standing and continuing on his way. As he faded into the heaving crowds, I took the sandwich from its wrapping and took a bite that could’ve rival any from _Jaws_. I groaned happily as I chewed the first thing resembling a meal in over a week.

 

During the days following, in the mornings the same man would give me a sandwich and a bottle of water on his way to work. He’d greet me with a smile and ‘hello’ sometimes he’d call me ‘princess’ which wasn’t creepy at all; but I was grateful. As days passed, I became less and less concerned about moving on. I didn’t want to move from the spot I had established for myself. The days where I stayed put, the man would appear again in the early evening with more food. I always thanked him, and we always exchanged gentle smiles. I had begun to settle and something deep inside of me, something instinctual told me I needed to move, I wasn’t safe. That I couldn’t get complacent.

 

Alarm bells begun to ring when patrolling Police officers had gotten me to move, to leave and be on my way. After they had shooed me away, I had attempted to cross the street, it was then I noticed my surroundings seemed a bit dull; the noise wasn’t as loud as it was meant to be. The smells of exhaust fumes were barely there, the world seemed to blur every so often. When a car clipped my leg as I stumbled in the road, the shock brought me back to my senses. I scrambled to get away, fleeing until the adrenaline running in my veins had calmed. As I tried to relieve my rapid beating heart and breathing, I glanced up to see two young men across the street staring at me; they turned and left when I met their gaze. _Were they just watching me?_ Unease started in the pit of my stomach. _I look like shit to be checked out… or maybe I just look odd to them? Maybe…_ I tried to convince myself.

 

I decided to go against what both James and my instincts had told me was dangerous and began my return to the centre of the city. It took a few days; I kept as low profile as possible, zigzagging back and forth through the city, spiralling from the outside in. I begged in the quietest areas, travelled backstreets and alleyways during the night and only got a few hours of sleep. Rinse and repeat. If something was going to happen, I wanted to be surrounded by a large crowd of people, there was safety in numbers; at least that’s what I was trying to convince myself. Thankfully there was the odd person who would spare me some food, sometimes it was nice and was gone in a matter of seconds, and other times I couldn’t stomach it, either I hadn’t the appetite or it just wasn’t nice food. But even though I kept moving, especially on the days when I would spot some stranger staring at me, who would linger for a little longer than what was comfortable. More than what felt safe. Those days I would travel all night, those nights were sleepless. My senses were becoming duller and duller each passing day, my mind becoming fuzzy. I didn’t understand, _maybe its side effects of what they’ve done to me? Or was it the lack of food?_ I kept trying to reason with myself.

 

“Are you alright?” A quiet voice asked her accent barely noticeable, “You don’t look so good.”

A young woman had crouched down in front of me from where I sat against the wall in the space between two buildings, her hair glistened like spun gold in the mid-day sun. Unconsciously my fingers went to the tips of my own hair, _mine looked like that once, but that was over a month ago now, I think. How long have I even been here? Is anyone looking for me? Well except for them._

“Just tired.” I admitted.

“Be careful, okay? There are bad people in the world. A woman on her own, it isn’t safe.”

I nodded in reply. The woman offered me a smile before departing. I let a smile tug at the corner of my mouth when I saw a note tucked under a small bag. I folded the note and shoved it to the bottom of my coat pocket and peered inside the bag. It was filled with an assortment of food both fresh and tinned. I thanked whoever was listening for my luck had started to turn around. _Perhaps everything gets better from here on out?_ I wondered to myself.

 

Deciding it was time to move on, I lifted myself from the ground, gathered my things and took to the streets. _I’m getting closer to the city centre. Shouldn’t take me long._ I kept my head low as I wandered through the busy streets, dodging people whose gaze was transfixed on their phones. _God I miss my phone._

“Ah! Princess!” A familiar voice exclaimed. My head snapped up to see the man I used to see each day on the outskirts of the city. He glanced down at the bag in my hand and gave me a small smile.

“Looks like you’re doing well.” He pointed to the bag.

“Hm.” I nodded in reply.

“How about I make your day even better?” He asked.

“There really isn’t any need.”

The stranger shuffled around the belongings in a messenger bag he hand slung across his frame. He made a sound of triumph when he had found what he was searching for and looked back at me.

“Close your eyes!” He teased. I did as he asked and felt the bag in my hand become heavier.

“Enjoy the rest of your day!” The man wished before he disappeared into the sea of people. My brow raised in surprise as I watched the place where the man had just merged with the other passers-by. I shrugged it off and continued on my way.

 

I chose a quiet place to sit and eat; I looked through each thing in the bag. Each new thing I pulled out, the smile on my face growing bigger by the second. I decided it would be best to eat what the man had given me; from the clear sandwich bag I plucked a red berry from the vine it was attached to. I popped it into my mouth, biting into it and coating the inside of my mouth with a sweet juice. My enthusiasm got the better of me as it plucked several berries from their vine and tossed them into my mouth, I felt my face contort and let out a disgusted sound when the sweet taste was over taken by something bitter. I grabbed the bottle of water from the bag and swallowed down the mass of fruit in my mouth, praying that the awful taste would go away with it.

“Well that was unpleasant.” I made another disgusted noise as the taste lingered on my tongue for a moment. Taking another long sip I swirled it around my mouth, then I stood so I could spit out the water. Without warning everything span for a few seconds making me lose my balance for a minute.

“Oof! Must’ve eaten too quickly. Sugar rush!”

 

I treated myself as I continued my way toward the city centre, eating a chocolate bar or two and once in a while tossing a berry into my mouth. I was fighting the dizziness that threatened to over power me. Every so often I became light headed but put it down to the sudden influx of sugar from the food and just food in general. As I got closer and closer to where I wanted to be, I had a feeling of eyes on my back. Being as discreet as I could, I stopped beside a bin and bowed my head. I rummaged through the bag of food pulling out pieces of rubbish; as carefully as possibly I peered through my lashes, glancing around I saw a man in a suit a few metres away casually leaning against a lamppost, a phone in hand. His eyes were glued to me. My eyes darted to across the street where two women stood with coffees, both wearing very casual clothes but neither seemed to be comfortable wearing them; their eyes were on me as well. I threw the empty wrappers into the bin, span on the balls of my feet and continued on my way, _they’ve found me!_ I tried to stay calm; _I can’t let them know that I know. Keep calm. Keep moving!_ A hand clasped my shoulder, startling me; I pulled away my heart now beating rapidly.

“Woah! Steady Princess! Is everything okay? You look scared!”

“Oh its just you! I’m sorry, I think I’m being followed.” I whispered.

“Come with me!” The stranger who’d gifted me with the berries offered me his hand I took it without any hesitation. His expression fell into one of worry and concern.

 

He pulled me through the crowds, trying to get as far as we could. He’d glance over his shoulder, making sure I was being followed and that those people were as far away as possible. My mind was a blur of thoughts, _am I going to get out of here? Am I safe? Can we escape them? We? Why is he helping? Why does he keep appearing? This city is huge; bumping the same person twice… in two totally different parts of the city… something isn’t right…_

“Why are you helping me?” Dread filled my voice; I didn’t want to know the answer but I _needed_ to know. Abruptly something sharp broke through the skin of my hand, his grip increasing: I hissed in pain.

“Did you enjoy those berries? Those sandwiches?” His voice had become much more sinister. I tried pulling away but pain lanced through my hand, I peered down to see long sharp nails piercing hand. The corner of my vision blurred for a moment, a sudden weakness coming over me like a wave before it disappeared.

“You aren’t going anywhere _princess_.”

We’d found our way into the middle of a market. I looked around panicked; I spotted the others closing in. In a last ditch effort to escape, I stomped on his foot, he hissed and stopped for a second. This gave me the chance I needed to bring my knee up with as much force I could muster and connect it with his crotch. He gave a cry of surprise; I was freed from his grip as he let go to cup his injured body parts. I dashed through the market, being careful to not bump into people and cause a scene. But the harder my heart beat, the more the dizziness took over, the more the edges of my vision blurred and the more my body felt fuzzy.

 

I collided with a solid form, their arms securely wrapping around me; I swallowed thickly, waves of fatigue washed over me. I tried grasping at the man to right myself, to get away, a string of apologies leaving my lips.

“Don’t make a sound.” A voice ordered. The figure wrapped an arm around me, their fingers biting into my side; I was pushed through the sea of people, guided away from the market. I tried making sounds of protest, I tried with every fibre in my body to pull away but I couldn’t. I was too weak. Their fingers just held onto me tighter. Next thing I knew I was pushed into a deserted back street, my coat being tugged from my frame.

“Put this on!”

A jacket was pushed into my hands; despite my effort, pulling on the jacket was harder than it should’ve been. Gentle hands moved with haste to pull the jacket over my shoulders, then I watched as my coat was thrown into a nearby bin.

“Where did you-“ I was quickly cut off.

“They’re coming,” he gazed toward the market, his head turned to me his gaze meeting mine. “Can I kiss you?” He asked quickly.

“What?” Confusion flooded my voice.

“Public displays of affection make people feel very uncomfortable. Can I kiss you?” He rushed.

I barely nodded before he pushed my back against the wall, his lips on mine.

 

He took my injured hand and encouraged me to put it around him under his jacket. I gingerly placed my hand on his back; his left forearm came up to lean on the wall, shielding my face from view, his right hand gripping my hip. I watched as his eyes darted to the side, following the figures that’d made their way into the back street: searching. He pulled away slightly, allowing me to catch my breath before capturing my lips again, but with more force than before. I watched as they walked up and down the backstreet in search of me, I couldn’t hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. His right hand came up, his thumb brushing my cheek, catching the tears that fell and casting them away. Our eyes met, his stormy blues held a warning, mine held fear and understanding. He deepened the kiss for a moment when one of the men came closer to us; I couldn’t hold back the slight moan as the man in front of me nipped my bottom lip. Quickly the man span around and created as much distance between him and us as he could. Lips pulled away from mine, a trail of saliva between us breaking after a moment. I felt the smirk on his lips as he rested his cheek against mine, nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck.

“James.” I whispered as my grip tightened on him.

“Follow me.” He whispered in my ear, his gaze fixed on the group travelling down the backstreet; he planted a kiss on my cheek before taking my hand in his and pulling me away.


	6. Chapter 6

“She’s there!” A woman shouted.

James looked at me determination filled his eyes.

“Run!” He yelled. He pushed me in front of him, as we ran he dropped behind me so he ran exactly behind me, shielding me from their sight. Every so often he’d give a direction to go in, but we could never lose my pursuers.

“Can you can control it?” He asked.

“Control what?”

“Where you go…when you…poof?” The last word was spoken in a higher octave like he wasn’t sure whether that was the appropriate word to use.

“I don’t know how it works!” I replied.

“Have you tried thinking of where you want to go and focusing on that?” He asked. I glanced to my right to see him now running beside me. I shook my head ‘no’. Suddenly he gripped my hand, pulling me down a narrow street between two buildings. _I can’t keep this up for much longer._ As we ran down the street a black van blocked us in. James pulled me close and turned to see the pursuers gaining on us.

“Can you fight?”

“No. I- I don’t know how to…”

He gripped my hands and formed them into fists.

“If I can’t hold them off, if they get too close, you hit ‘em and don’t stop. Y’hear?”

I nodded furiously as I glanced behind him to see them getting closer and then behind me to see two men exit the van.

“If you can get away. You run like the Devil is at your heels.” He nodded before he strode towards those who were running after us.

 

_I’m not going to make it out of here. I’m not going to make it home!_ I feared. My gaze bounced from the two men walking steadily toward me and to James who seemed to move like water as he fought each of the men and women who had come for me. I watched as a woman slipped past James, it was a total of three individuals who were approaching me. I knew then that even if I tried I didn’t stand a chance, that this was all pointless. I was fucked. It was plain and simple. I was completely fucked. I flattened myself against the wall; I fought back the tears that wanted to free themselves. Peering up I saw the sky, a few clouds were scattered across what I could see. _What will they do to me? Lock me up? Is this the last time I’ll see the sky._ I gave in to my fate, there was no use fighting it. Not anymore. I closed my eyes and savoured what I was certain was my last view of the sky, my last taste of freedom.

 

A familiar feeling of weightlessness came over me, my limbs felt numb, and suddenly it all disappeared. A strong breeze pushed my back, distorting my balance and caused me to lean forward. _The breeze is pleasant…but…I had my back against a wall?_ My brow furrowed as confusion washed over me. I peeked a look, opening one eye and a fresh wave of confusion washed over me.

“What the…Woah!” I exclaimed; I was dangerously leaning across a chasm. I took a step back and looked down to the street below. The woman and two men who were approaching me looked around in confusion, I heard a shout ordering them to terminate James. Three of the pursuers were unconscious on the ground that left five. They all started to encroach on him, worry ran through my veins. _What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?_ I was close to tears; I wouldn’t let him die, not for me.

 

I closed my eyes tight trying to think of something I could do but each time I came up empty. As the woman from the trio who’d come after me drew closer and closer James, she pulled a gun, but James’ back was to her. He didn’t know. _Shouting wouldn’t do anything, if anything she’ll shoot straight away._ I closed my eyes again, ran my fingers through my hair and let out a growl. Suddenly I got the sensation like my mind was pushing on something. The more I pushed; images filled my sight despite my eyes being closed. I focused harder and pushed through entirely. I saw James’ back. I felt something trying to push me out, I fought against it, and I then made my sight turn to face the two men coming up behind me. I could almost feel the weapon in my hand, I drew it up and aimed for one of the men’s legs and fired. A sudden pain in my ribs threw me out. I gripped my head letting out a pained cry. I opened my eyes and quickly peered down into the street. Only two remained conscious, despite one being collapsed on the floor gripping his leg and losing blood.

 

Then suddenly there was none.

“You gonna come down from there?” James shouted, his arm shielding his eyes from the sun.

“I would if I had any _fucking_ idea how to.” I shouted back.

“Remember what I said earlier. Focus on being in front of me.”

I took a step back and closed my eyes. As I breathed slowly, I thought about being in front of James, focused on that precise thought with all I had in me. The sensation of weightlessness started. Then it was over.

“Well that was…” James’ voice was a lot closer. I opened my eyes and grinned when I saw I was stood exactly where I was thinking.

“Poof was the right word… a blue poof.” James’ stated. I laughed in response.

“Perhaps we better…go?” I asked, and then pointed to the unblocked end of the street, the way we’d come from.

“Perhaps.” He smirked.

The sound of a gun being fired made my gaze snap up to James’. My fingers fell to my outer thigh, a second later the pain came. My knees buckled and I fell onto them as I hit the ground. James looked at me in surprise, which abruptly became anger as his head snapped toward the source of the gunshot. I followed his movements; with his left hand he gripped one of the men by the neck and lifted him clear from the ground. The man struggled before James tossed him down the street.

“James…” My voice seemed far away. He wandered over to me, yanked something from my leg, the sound of glass breaking filled my ears before James picked me up. My head lolled into his chest. My breathing slowed.

 

I bounced slightly in his grip each time he stepped, I could hear echoes of voices, above them all I heard James’. I couldn’t understand what he was saying but his words were punctuated with a small laugh. I felt nothing for a while, just emptiness. I faded in and out of darkness, but the moments when floated in the abyss for longer I heard two voices. ‘ _Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?             Yeah and I threw up?                    This isn’t payback, is it?                     Now why would I do that?_ ’ I felt something soft come in contact with my body, then I was enveloped in something that was cold and soft but it soon warmed up.

“Stop,” Came a choked voice. “You’re safe now.”

 

I let myself fall into the darkness.


	7. Chapter 7

I was surrounded by darkness when I finally broke free of the empty abyss. I groaned as I tried to sit up but only managed to prop myself up on my elbows, _I must’ve been on one hell of a bender for a headache like this!_ I then noticed that I wasn’t on cold hard ground. No. I was resting on something soft and partially springy. My judgement impaired by the mix of the raging headache, the wave of nausea and the woozy feeling I had in general, I fell back into the comfort and warmth, pulling it all closer till it surrounded me wholly. When it all came flooding back to me, the chase, the fight, I shot up like a bullet, my head turning to look at my surroundings.

 

From what I could see I was in small apartment. Or that’s what I assumed given it was bathed in darkness, but what light did come through the windows gave the outline of an apartment.

“You’re awake.” A sleepy voice spoke. I yelped in surprise, not realising there was another person in the room.

“Easy.” They warned.

I heard footsteps come closer, a dark figure stood in front of me and secured something cool in one of my hands and dropped two small circular items into the other.

“It’ll help.” The voice spoke softly. I peered down to see what exactly I had been given: a glass of water and two pills.

“W- what are these?” I demanded, images of the blue pill flashed behind my eyelids each time I blinked.

“Painkiller,” He stated as he picked one of the two pills up. “Something to help you sleep.” He picked up the other pill before dropping them back into my palm. I glanced up at him. Although I couldn’t fully see him, the bits of light that came into the apartment allowed me to make out how his brow was furrowed. I’d told him my story. He understood the anxiety I had about pills.

 

I popped the two pills into my mouth, taking a gulp of water to wash them down. He pointed to where I’d been laid, a lone mattress and blanket on the floor.

“Rest.”

Slowly I laid myself on the makeshift bed, pulling the blanket around me once again.

“James.” I called out. He made a noise of acknowledgement in response.

“Why? Everything? You told me to stay away. But-“

“We’ll talk in the morning.” He explained. A few minutes passed before I broke the silence.

“What did they do?” I asked.

“Some of them had tranquilisers of some kind. Goddamn strong ones.”

“They’re not going to stop. Are they?” I choked out, tears starting to fall as the fear set in.

“We’ll talk in the morning.” He insisted.

“Okay.” My voice grew quieter as everything became hazy.

 

The aroma of something cooking stirred me from my sleep; I listened to everything around me, and finally decided to get up when I heard something hiss. I pushed myself up until I was sat upright. I yawned and rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up fully.

“There’s a bathroom through there,” I glanced to see James stood in the kitchen cooking; he motioned to a door across from him as he spoke. “There’s a spare toothbrush behind the cupboard above the sink, second shelf, to the left. Also a shower and towels.”

“Okay…” I stood and made my way to the bathroom. I stripped off my clothes, grimacing as I dropped them on the tiled floor. I stepped into the shower and let out a long groan as hot water flooded over me. I watched the water disappear down the drain; the colour of it disgusted me. I noticed a few bottles of shower gel and picked one up. _He won’t mind if I use some of this stuff will he?_ I squeezed some of the gel into my hands, and ran them through my hair, banishing all the deep-seated grime. I groaned loudly at the feeling of my fingers digging into my scalp as warm water flooded over my body. Because I hadn’t felt this good in what felt like years I began humming to myself which developed into quiet singing. Eventually I was singing a rendition of ‘Any way you want it’ by Whitesnake that returned into humming the song as I finished washing myself and turned the water off.

 

I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around my frame and stepped out of the shower. I took the spare toothbrush and began brushing my teeth. The feeling of being thoroughly clean had put the light back in my eyes which I noticed as I peered at myself in the mirror. But I also noticed how pale I looked, how thin I had become from lack of regular meals. _I’m safe for now. Maybe he’ll let me stay here?_ I silently questioned. I looked to the floor where I had left my clothes but found them gone. Sat on top of the toilet lid sat a set of clean clothes: men’s clothes. I blushed when I realised that James had come into the bathroom at some point. I quickly got changed: sweatpants, button-up shirt and a zip-up hoodie along with undergarments. Of course they were all too big for me, thankfully the sweatpants had drawstrings on them so I could pull them tighter till they stayed up on my hips. The hoodie allowed me to hide the fact that I wasn’t wearing a bra, admittedly the bra I had been wearing was kinda wrecked, wouldn’t surprise me if the wire in them tried to shank me.

 

I wandered out of the bathroom, heading toward the kitchen where James still stood. I noticed that the windows were covered in newspaper. He pushed a plate of pancakes toward me.

“You cook?”

“Mhm. Had to learn how when I had to look after…” His voice drifted off.

“These look really good! You got a spoon or something?” I asked, realising he didn’t want to continue talking and deciding to change to subject to help him. He gave a small nod of thanks, knowing exactly what I’d done. I groaned in happiness when I took my first bite, quickly scoffing down the other pancakes on my plate.

“Have you got any sugar or something sweet I can put on these?” I asked as James slid another few pancakes onto my plate. He span and opened a set of cupboard, returning swiftly with a bag of sugar. He placed it on the counter top.

“Any way you want it, Doll.” James near sang.

My head snapped up, my gaze meeting his. His eyes were wide with shock for a moment before a small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Y- you heard?” I felt my face become hotter; I knew I was getting flushed.

“Walls are thin.” He mumbled as he busied himself with cleaning.

 

“I’m going out.” He stated plainly as he pulled on a jacket and a baseball cap.

“Where? What am I supposed to do?”

“You need clothes, I need more food. You stay here. It isn’t safe for you out there.”

“And what am I supposed to do till you get back hm?” I asked, crossing my arms and leaning to one side, putting my weight on my hip. He shrugged.

“Just… don’t leave the apartment. Don’t go outside. Don’t… do anything. Just don’t do anything.” He stated before he left the apartment.

“Because _that’s_ fun!” I turned to look around the apartment, the kitchen was a war zone, and it was just a mess. _I can’t believe I’m going to willingly clean something of my own volition._ I groaned as I took steps toward the kitchen and began cleaning. I opened a set of cupboards to be welcomed with an unorganised mess of tinned and fresh food. I took each item from its shelf until the cupboard was empty. I cleaned the shelves and put everything back in a kind of categorical order. Somewhere along the way I found myself singing, this time however I was certain no one would hear me. I found myself dancing steadily as I sang Fall Out Boy’s ‘Where Is Your Boy’. As I belted out the line ‘I could be an accident but I’m still trying’ I heard a door shut loudly. I fell silent and turned around to see James stood, his back against the door, an amused smile on his face.

“How much did you hear?” I asked sheepishly, feeling my face become heated again.

“Just a little,” He took his shoes off, shrugged off his jacket and placed his cap on some makeshift shelves. “What are you doing?”

“Cleaning your kitchen.”

“Thanks?” He sounded unsure as to thank me or not.

 

James placed a few bags on the kitchen counter, pushing a few of them till they sat in front of me. I peered in to see them full of clothes.

“I guessed your size for some of that stuff.”

He wandered around till he stood in front of the cupboard I had reorganized. He opened it and went to place an item in but then froze.

“Well. That’s…impressive.” He mused.

“I’m going to try this stuff on…” I rummaged through the bags; quickly glancing at the items I could see easily, I smiled happily. Taking the bags in hand I wandered into the bathroom then shut the door behind me. One by one I tried each of the items on, for the most part they were just about the right size, maybe a bit big in places but that was fine. I pulled on a long sleeved tunic top and skinny jeans then watched myself in the mirror. The emerald coloured tunic matched the colour of my eyes, complimenting them and making them seem brighter than they were. I beamed at the sight of me, clean, well dressed and fed. _I haven’t felt this good in ages!_ Quiet laughter escaped from me, things were starting to get better despite the threat that loomed over me.

 

I caught James’ gaze as I walked out of the bathroom, all the clothes neatly folded in the bags, and he nodded gently, approving of my outfit. I placed the bags beside the mattress then wandered over to the two-seater sofa. I picked up one of the cushions and fell back to sit before I pulled the cushion to my chest and wrapped my arms around it.

“Can we have that talk now?” I asked timidly. He made a noise of acknowledgement as he stepped toward the sofa and sat beside me, however while I was sat back he was leant forward, his elbows resting on the knees of his parted legs, his forearms extended and hands grasped together.

“Go ahead.”

“Why? All of this, why?” I paused while I gestured to the apartment, the clothes sat in the bags and the ones I wore. “You told me to stay away. Told me to leave. Not to come back.”

“I did,” He took a breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “Then _they_ came. At first I thought they’d come for _me_. But they were looking where _you_ had been. I figured…”

“You figured they were trying to find me.” I finished.

James nodded gently.

“So why help me?”

“You told me that night. That they made you into a monster,” He took a shaky breath before standing; he started to pace around the apartment. “I-ah I- I know what it’s like. I knew what- what they had planned.”

“You knew?” I drew myself back, my grip on the cushion increasing.

“Not exactly. But people like that. They’d make you a weapon. Make you do… do unspeakable things,” I watched as his fist clenched as he continued. “I couldn’t let that happen… not to you. Not to someone so young!”

 

Silence fell between us, after some time James appeared to relax and returned to sitting beside me.

“Is that why… Is that why you’re paranoid? People are after you?” I asked gently, my hand reaching out and brushed gently against his arm for a moment before I pulled back.

“I don’t want to-“

“It’s fine. It’s fine. You don’t need to say anything.” I interrupted. I glanced to his hands, which he kept fiddling with, clearly uncomfortable about the conversation. I’d noticed that each time I met James he wore some kind of gloves, I never paid attention to it at first but here in the apartment he constantly wore one leather glove on his left hand. It piqued my curiosity but his apprehension in general told me it was better not to ask.

“H-how long… I mean… When do you want me to leave?” I asked; approaching the subject I was dreading. I looked up at him to notice a scowl on his face.

“They’re still looking for you...”

“But I can’t stay-“

“They won’t stop. Stepping out there,” James pointed to the nearest window. “Means every second you risk being found. You risk being taken.”

“So…”

“Stay. For now at least.”

“What are the conditions?” I questioned. I watched as James’ brow furrowed. “I’m assuming there are conditions to my stay?” James sighed, nodding slowly.

“You get into people’s heads. That’s why you freaked at the murder scene and the park. How that woman in the alley shot her colleague.”

“How did you know about…?” My voice drifted off as confusion took over.

“When I realised they were after you. I kept tabs on you.”

“So why didn’t you help then?” Frustration filled my voice.

“I didn’t trust you.”

“And now?”

“I trust you enough…”

“Continue with what you were saying.” I implored wishing to know what I had to do to stay.

“Remember the night you were attacked?”

“Mhm.”

“You were in my head… You erm… What was done to me … I- I erm… You nearly did something… started something up in me and I wondered if you could remove it.” James’ voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke.

“I don’t even know how I do what I do! I fall asleep, it’s involuntary!” I replied.

“Could you try?” His voice was strained.

“I suppose. Alright, I can try my best but I can’t promise anything.”

“That’s all I ask.”

“So I try and help you and I get to stay here?”

“Yes.”

 

I shifted so I was sat facing him and stuck my hand out.

“Deal?”

James grasped my hand, he glanced up at me and our eyes locked.

“Deal.”

Our hands shook, sealing the agreement.


	8. Chapter 8

“So… I’m not allowed to leave the apartment?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not yet.” He plainly stated.

I’d been a week since I had moved into James’ apartment. I’d learned not to touch the newspaper plastered on the windows, and got quite a reprimand for leaving the apartment despite me only standing at the top of the stairwell so I wouldn’t go stir crazy. While he slept on the mattress on the floor, I took the sofa, the argument for that went on for longer than I’d like to admit. I found out early on that James suffered from nightmares; sometimes his cries and thrashing about caused me to wake me up. I made the mistake one night of trying to rouse him, which only led to his fingers around my throat. He closed himself off from me the following morning, he wouldn’t meet my eyes. I was afraid and shocked when it happened but I knew he didn’t do it on purpose and that he felt guilty. I had tried to lift his spirits by surprising him by baking some shortbread while he went out to the market. He seemed surprised when he returned that I was still there, like he had expected me to bolt.

“But James!” I whined. He sighed in defeat, I had been pestering him about leaving the apartment, just for a few minutes.

“Katherine…” He groaned.

“Pretty please!” I begged, pouting as best I could.

“Fine!” He growled out.

“Thank you! Thank y-“

“But!” James interrupted.

_I knew there was a ‘but’ coming somewhere!_ I internally groaned.

“I’m going to take you somewhere first. And you won’t fight me on what I say, got it?” He spoke, crossing his arms across his chest. I nodded in acceptance.

 

I stood by the door waiting for the man who I now called a friend. I knew he didn’t trust me wholly, but there was enough trust in our relationship for it to be somewhat stable. I had become a lot more relaxed around him, letting myself do things that I couldn’t before around him. So as we descended the stairwell, him walking steadily while I took two steps at a time and jumped off the last few once we reached each new floor, I started humming a random tune. James then led me through the streets of Bucharest, until we reached where he had wanted to go. We entered a small hairdresser on a backstreet; a smiling woman in her mid forties greeted us. James pulled me close wrapping his arm around my waist, giving a warm smile to the woman. He exchanged words with the woman in Romanian; they spoke animatedly sharing a small laugh every so often. I was then guided to a back room and motioned to sit in front of a sink. James stood at the entrance to the back room, a smirk playing on his lips.

“What have you done?” I asked, wanting to know what their exchange involved.

“You’ll like it.” He grinned. I noticed that there was light in his blue stormy eyes, something that was rare to see, so I sat back and allowed the woman to do her job.

 

“Close your eyes Katherine. Don’t open them till I say so. ‘Kay?” James ordered. I sighed and did as he asked, I didn’t want the light in his eyes to fade just yet, and so I would indulge him for now. For a rather long time I sat there, listening intently to what was happening around me. I knew for a fact that my long hair had had become incredibly short just from how my head felt lighter. James excused himself during some point; at the most he was gone for a few minutes before he returned, breathing heavily. _He’s just run from somewhere. Is everything okay?_ I began panicking.

“You okay Kate?” He asked as I heard him beside me, I heard the rustle of a bag and relaxed. He placed something in my hand.

“Eat.” He ordered before he moved away from me. I took a bite from what he had given me, I groaned as the fruit exploded in my mouth.

 

Not long later James exchanged words with the woman. I waited for him to say something to me. But I was met with silence for a few moments.

“Take a look Kate.” He spoke softly. I gasped as I opened my eyes. My once blonde hair that would glow like gold in the sun was now a light brown. What once fell to the middle of my back now settled at the base of my neck, a full front fringe rested across my forehead. I turned my head from side to side in the mirror, taken away with the transformation.

“You like it?” An accented voice asked. I turned to the woman, smiled and nodded enthusiastically. I noticed James’ expression change from one of apprehension to relief at my response. I stood beside him as he paid the woman and thanked her; he smiled down at me and pulled me close as we exited, waving as we walked away.

“So you like it?” James probed.

“It’s different. I like it a lot. Thank you James!” I grinned.

“I want you to try something when we get back.” He stated. I gave a small sound in acknowledgement.

 

I stood in the bathroom in James’ apartment fully admiring my new appearance. I ran my fingers through my now auburn hair.

“Katherine?” He called.

“Coming!” I called back. I walked out a moment later to see James leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Your… ability to… teleport?” His voice raised an octave, as he grew unsure.

“Okay lets call it that. What about it?”

“I want you to go home.”

“W- What?” I exclaimed, taking a step back, hurt flashing across my face.

“I need to know that you can get as far away from here as possible.”

I relaxed slightly; _he wants to know I can be safe if something was to happen here. Wants to know that I can just disappear across the world rather than a few metres._

“I can try.”

“If its too much don’t do it okay?” His tone was serious.

James pulled the hood of my jacket up and pulled it low to ensure my face was hidden by shadow. A precaution he stated. I relaxed myself, and closed my eyes. I thought about home. I thought about my apartment that had been abandoned for weeks and weeks. I thought of my room filled with books, for both reading for pleasure and for my studies. I tried to remember the smell of the apartment, sweet like caramel from the reed diffuser. I grimaced as an uncomfortable feeling washed over me. It was replaced with weightlessness a second later.

 

I spluttered when I opened my eyes, a coughing fit took over quickly. I peered around me to find myself in my apartment, laid across the floor of the living room.

“Home.” I sighed happily. I sat up, the room span momentarily. I stood abruptly and dashed around the apartment as best as I could, gathering several electrical items: laptop, tablet and such. _What am I thinking? I can’t take this with me! If they found me in Bucharest, they know I live here._ A thought suddenly popped into my head, I grabbed a large bag from my wardrobe, filling it with anything of worth. I zipped it up and focused on where I wanted to go. I waited a minute for the wave of nausea to subside, then wiped my nose with the back of my hand as I felt something drip down. I pulled my hand away to see it smeared with blood. _I’m fine, just rest up for a bit!_ I told myself. I entered a pawnshop and piece-by-piece I exchanged my belongings for cash. By the last object I had amassed quite a lot of money. I then went into a nearby shop and purchased a new tablet, something I knew that _they_ wouldn’t have bugged. My final stop was a bookshop, I realised that I wasn’t going to be returning to my studies anytime soon so instead I bought a Psychology book that met the specification I was studying.

 

An insistent throbbing in my head told me I was pushing myself, but I needed to return to James. I had been gone for some time now. I found a quiet spot for me to use my ability, or to teleport as James had so ceremoniously named it which was an improvement on ‘poof’. As the weightless feeling consumed me, wave after wave of nausea flooded me, the throbbing in my head increased tenfold making me cry out in agony.

“Katherine! Kate!” James’ worried voice called out. I opened my eyes to see the blue mist receding and disappearing into nothing.

“Bathroom!” I managed to cry out, my legs were too weak to lift me from the ground. I felt James’ arms around me as he led me to the bathroom; I pushed myself out of his grip and leaned over the toilet emptying my stomach. Once the nausea dissipated, I slumped against the toilet.

“Where have you _been_ Kate?”

I groaned quietly in response, feeling too weak to give an actual response. James poured me a glass of water, I took a mouthful and swirled it round my mouth, then spat it into the toilet.

“Painkillers.” I whimpered, even speaking caused the headache to worsen.

 

James disappeared and quickly came back holding several painkiller tablets. He sat on the floor and pulled me to him, and one by one he popped the tablets into my mouth and brought the glass of water to my lips. He helped me swallow the painkillers, the pain running through my head started to fade away. Ever so gently he picked me up from the floor and walked into the living area where he placed me on the sofa. I curled up feeling a chill come over me. I followed James with my gaze as he wandered around the apartment, he put the kettle on and set out two mugs then grabbed some tissue and ran it under the tap to dampen it. He knelt on the floor in front of the sofa, in front of me, and slowly wiped below my nose. Each time he pulled back I saw the red that seeped into the tissue.

“I’m sorry,” His voice held sadness. “Never let me ask you to do something like that again. Kate I’m so sorry!” He held my hand tight, I was too tired to give a verbal response, and instead I squeezed his hand to reassure him I was fine. He parted from me for a moment to pour each of us a hot drink.

 

We sat in silence for a long time, just drinking coffee and exchanging small glances. My gaze fell upon the bag, which held the tablet and Psychology book. I placed the mug on the floor and slowly stood and made my way to the bag. My energy was still much to be desired so I sat on the floor and removed the items from the bag.

“I ended up in my apartment. I wanted to bring my laptop and stuff here. But I sold it all instead.” I spoke quietly. James sat forward on the sofa, his curiosity piqued at what I’d brought.

“Thought it wouldn’t be safe, that they could’ve bugged it. So I bought this,” I lifted up the box for a tablet. “I told you I was a student, so I bought this too.” I held up the Psychology book. James placed his mug on the counter top and joined me on the floor; he gently took the book from me. His brow furrowed at first, he then opened the book and read the contents.

“It was the specification I was studying. I don’t see myself returning home fully anytime soon.” _Even if I did, even if I could return home and be safe, I want to stay here. It’s nothing special but I couldn’t leave James._ When I fully realised my thoughts I tried to hide the slight blush that crept onto my face. I had become close to him in such a short time it shocked me, I didn’t know if I could say the same for James though.

 

The late afternoon drifted into evening. James decided on something easy, so we sat down to some really bloody gorgeous sandwiches. Since I had returned, every so often my body was assaulted with violent shivers. James had insisted on taking the sofa so I could lie on the makeshift bed.

“James, we’re grown ups. I’m pretty certain this mattress has room for two.” It was clear that James was uncomfortable when he slept on the sofa.

“But what if I have-“

“Then I’ll keep my distance. Promise.”

Reluctantly, James joined me in the mattress, covering himself with the blanket. He turned to face the lamp that sat tall beside the bed. Meanwhile I had turned to face the kitchen and curled up.

“Good night James.” I whispered as I began drifting off to sleep.

“G’night Kate. Sleep well.” James whispered just as quietly, I just grasped his words as I fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I won't be active until Sunday 5th of June, so there won't be another update till then. So I decided to 1. Give you guys who are reading this a word of warning and 2. Give you guys another chapter for you to stew over until I get back.
> 
> On that subject, I'd like to thank everyone who is reading this. It kinda is just for my own pleasure, and I wanted to post it somewhere because why the hell not? So I'll see you guys later x


	9. Chapter 9

I awoke before James. Yawned and stretched my arms above my head before I very carefully got up trying not to disturb him. I began walking toward the bathroom until a thought struck me. Instead I knelt down beside the sleeping man, I reached out and gently took his hand in mine. My eyes fluttered shut as I thought about seeing inside his mind. I saw white behind my eyelids, I heard screams and I felt James’ hand squeeze mine almost painfully. I tried pushing past a protective block, but each time it threw me back, sending pain rippling through me. I pulled back from his mind and opened my eyes. James was sat up, his eyes were cold and empty, the same went for his facial expression. Suddenly the James I recognised came back to me, he shook his head and squeezed my hand in reassurance.

“I tried… I tried to help. But there’s some kind of block…” I frowned.

“It’s alright Katherine. You tried, that’s all I ask,” James sighed, his hands shook a little and his breathing was a little uneven. “I’m going to go take a shower.” He stated as he stood and entered the bathroom shutting the door behind him.

 

I felt awful I couldn’t help him. Not yet anyway. I was determined to get stronger, to use my abilities for good, to help James. As an apology I made myself busy in the kitchen cooking breakfast. I searched through the cupboards and fridge and ended up pulling together a bit of a mishmash of food. I placed two plates on the table James had against the wall beside his homemade shelves. I went on to boil the kettle, hoping a good breakfast might cheer him up. As I was pouring my tea, James exited the bathroom.

“I made breakfast.” I smiled, pointing to the two plates on the table. James returned the smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, he sat and began eating, it wasn’t long until it was all gone. I only got half way through mine before feeling full, I pushed my plate towards James who took it gratefully and finished off what remained.

 

Neither of us did much that day, James had commandeered the Psychology book, flicking through each section, reading with interest. Whereas I was sat on the floor my back leaning against the sofa as I unboxed the tablet and went through the task of setting it up. Every so often he’d ask me to clarify something: he’d come sit beside me and listened intently as I explained the best I could.

“This Freud guy is whack!” James noted.

“Oh you have _no_ idea!” I laughed. “I think it’s about lunch time, don’t you think?” I asked, nudging James’ arm. He hummed as he lost himself in the book again. I stood and manoeuvred into the kitchen, pulling out two plates along with two glasses. I began putting dinner together.

“Fruit juice or?” I questioned.

“We got any Socată?” James called back, his eyes scanning over the pages of the book.

“Yeah, but it’s the last bottle.” I answered.

“Have to get more tomorrow.”

“Can I come with you tomorrow?”

“As long as you don’t draw attention.”

I yelped as James was suddenly beside me, his presence startling me.

“Jesus James! You scared the shit outta me. Don’t sneak up on me like that!” I burst out laughing.

“Sorry?” He wasn’t sure whether to apologize or not.

 

“Here.” I spoke as I passed him a plate with a few sandwiches, a bag of crisps, a mix of fruit and an oat bar. I had learned pretty quickly that James had a rather large appetite.

“Thanks Kate.”

I sat where I was before, I flicked through the tablet, it had perhaps one or two preinstalled games and a few miscellaneous apps but that was about it. _I should go find some place that has a Wi-Fi connection. Maybe download some music and some films. I could download some books so I have something to do_. I frowned slightly as I remembered all the books I had to leave behind, but at least now I had the opportunity to read again. Deciding instead to sit outside I grabbed the plate and glass and made my way onto the balcony of James’ apartment. Slowly I ate lunch, watching out over the city, the weather had grown rather warm just enough to sit comfortably. After I had eaten, I leaned back in the chair I’d sat in and just watched the sky. A small cough drew my attention to James motioning he was going to throw me something. I put out my hands and caught it when he let it go.

“Thanks James!” I smiled cheerfully as I opened the chocolate bar and took a bite. A small smile played on his lips as he disappeared back inside. _I hope he’s happy, that I’m not a burden on him. What am I thinking, of course I am. He now has to keep himself and me safe… but he seems content… happy even_. My head fussed, I felt down for a moment before taking another bite of chocolate and telling myself to stop being silly. After I had finished eating I settled back into the chair and closed my eyes savoring the early afternoon sun and it’s warmth.

 

I vaguely remember being gathered in someone’s arms and being laid down on something soft but firm. I could only just register the feeling of something being wrapped around my frame. I groaned softly as something drifted through my hair softly over and over again, I tried to push myself into it, to feel it closer but it withdrew. I let out a long sigh before letting myself relax fully. At first I dreamt of nothing, it was just darkness. Then the darkness fell away. I was restrained, my body strapped to a metal table. Above me so I could see myself was a mirror, I was forced to watch as they inserted needles into me and injected their contents. My body writhed in agony on the table; I strained against my restraints, fighting for freedom. That’s when they started cutting into me. I screamed and jolted upright. I found myself in James’ apartment. Alone. My breaths were coming out short and fast, my heart rate rapid.

“It was just a nightmare. Just a nightmare.” I sobbed, tears falling uncontrollably down my cheeks and landing on the blanket wrapped around me. I turned myself so I sat with my legs hanging over the edge of the sofa. When I had my breathing under control I pushed myself up to stand. I wiped the back of my hand across my forehead and pulled it away, sweat coating it; I made a noise of disgust.

 

I wandered to the bathroom sink and ran the cold-water tap. I leant over and cupped my hands under the flow of water and splashed my face. After a few minutes I started to feel human again. I turned the tap off and grabbed a small towel and dried myself. I paced around the apartment feeling uneasy and wanted something to distract my mind from what I had just dreamed of. It wasn’t long before I had calmed enough to stop wandering. I peered down at the makeshift shelves James had constructed out of cinderblocks and wood. There was the odd knick-knack but other than that the shelves sat bare. My gaze fell on a lone notebook. I had seen James write in notebooks like that, sometimes during the day he’d sit and write, and then at the dead of night when he thought I was asleep. I had never asked and he never offered to tell so I never pried, but something deep inside of me was screaming at me to open it: to read it. I carefully picked it up and ran my fingers over the leather cover.

“Don’t _fucking touch_ that!” A low voice growled out, anger in every word. I spun around to see James stood in the doorway. He strode over and took the notebook from my hands.

“You don’t _ever_ touch them! What the _fuck_ were you thinking! You don’t go near these! Do you understand?” He shouted.

“James. I- I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I didn’t know!” I backed away. James dropped it back onto the shelf then walked past me into the kitchen. He placed a bag of groceries onto the counter and began unpacking without saying a word.

 

I decided to take a shower, hoping to clean off the rest of the sweat caused by the nightmare and wash away the fear that ran deep due to the nightmare and James’ anger. I locked the door behind me and started the shower, letting the steam fog up the mirror. I stripped each piece of clothing from my body and stepped into the shower letting the near scolding water flow over my shoulders and back. I ran my fingers over the places on my body where I dreamt they cut into me, each time my fingers came in contact with my skin I could almost feel the pain all over again. Then the fear took over, the nightmare seemed so real, and it felt so damn real. I let myself fall to the shower floor, sobbing uncontrollably. _What if they find me? What if James can’t help me? What if he gives me over to them? He was so angry with me. What if they do what they did in the nightmare?_ I sat under the flow of water even after it had gone cold: I was at a loss. When my body started to shake violently from the chill I turned the water off and just sat for a while before I climbed out and dried myself. Piece by piece I put my clothes back on and quietly exited the bathroom, my damp hair clinging to my forehead and cheeks. I kept my gaze on the ground but quickly looked over to where the rest of my clothes were stored. _What’s going to happen now?_

 

“There’s something I want to ask you.” James voice came from the kitchen.

“You want me… You want me to leave?” I whispered.

“Katherine why would you-“ He fell silent then sighed. “Because I shouted at you. Katherine I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to snap. But they’re important to me. They’re private. You… you think I want you gone?”

I nodded in response and wiped away the tear that started to roll down my cheek. I heard quick urgent footsteps come close to me; I flinched when they were nearly in front of me. Then I was wrapped in warmth, James had embraced me tightly.

“Katherine you idiot,” He squeezed me tight, his forehead resting on the top of my head. He pulled away and cupped my cheek with his right hand, then pushed away the damp strands of hair that clung to my cheek. “Wait. It’s not just that, is it? There’s something more.” He paused for a moment. “You had been crying when I came back. What happened?”

“I-ah I- I had a really _fucked_ up nightmare.” I met James’ gaze and let out a small smile.

“Want to tell me ‘bout it?” He spoke softly as he stroked my cheek once more before he pulled his hand away. I shook my head ‘no’.

“What _were_ you going to ask me?” I questioned.

“Do you want to help me cook dinner?” He smiled softly.

“Uh- yeah, sure. I’d love to.” The question took me by surprise and by the probable look of confusion etched into my face; James realized and chuckled softly at my reaction.

“Come on then.” He gestured to follow him. _God I’m an idiot!_ I thought to myself, _I shouldn’t have let my thoughts spiral that far._ James turned around when he realized I wasn’t following him and called my name, his voice pulled me from my thoughts. I pushed my hair off my face and wandered over to him with a small smile on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back like I promised.
> 
> Updates may be a bit slow or irregular over the next three-ish weeks, due to having my A2 exams. Luckily I've already wrote up to chapter thirty something, all I have to do is re-read and edit.
> 
> Enjoy x


	10. Chapter 10

I stood beside James as he motioned to all the tins, jars, and vegetables sat on the counter top.

“So…” I started. “What we cooking?”

“I was thinking Lasagna.” James turned to me, and then leaned on the counter.

“Lets get started then.” I grinned. While James stood at one side of the cooker holding a pan over the heat with one hand, a wooden spoon in the other and cooked a mix of sliced vegetables and mince meat, I stood at the other side in a similar way to James, with a pan in my hand, but instead mixing milk with a few other ingredients and waiting for it to boil.

“Y’know what we need? Music!” James announced.

“When we go out next, I’ll bring my tablet and download some music when I can find Wi-Fi.”

“No need. Here, watch this for me!” James passed me his wooden spoon. He wandered over to the table by the wall and retrieved my tablet. My brow furrowed as he came to my side and flicked to the music library, he tilted the screen till I could see it.

“Where did-“

“When I went shopping for all this earlier I took your tablet. Thought maybe you’d appreciate some music on there. Especially since I know you like to sing.” James teased.

“Thank you!” I hooked my arms behind his neck and pulled him into a hug.

“Uh Katie, dinners gonna burn doll.” He chuckled. I pulled away and took the tablet from his hands then quickly searched through the albums on the device. I let out a triumphant sound as I found a particular song. As the first few seconds of ‘fast car’ by Tracy Chapman played, I returned to cooking.

 

I had measured out some flour into a bowl. As I tipped the bowl over the pan of milk that I had strained to remove the unwanted ingredients, none of the flour wanted to move. I tipped the bowl up too much and abruptly the flour plummeted into the pan. A cloud of flour filled the air, hitting me in the face. I drew back, doubled over coughing while James was doubled over in laughter.

“Bastard! It’s not funny! I’ve been showered already!” I exclaimed. James stood wiping a tear from his eye, for the first time in a while I saw his smile reach his eyes.

“I can’t help it. You should see yourself Kate!” James burst out laughing again. I huffed and continued cooking.

“Is yours done?” I asked James a few minutes later.

“Yeah, yours?”

“Mhm.”

I took James’ pan and spread a thin layer of the mince and tomato sauce mixture at the bottom of a ceramic dish. Next followed a layer of pasta sheets and a thin layer of the white creamy sauce I made, we repeated this till all the mixtures were used up. I placed the final layer of pasta on top and a generous covering of cheese and it was then in the oven.

 

James stood by the sink and started to clean the pans and other utensils we used while I started to pack the remaining ingredients away. My tablet was now playing ‘Walking on Sunshine’ creating a light atmosphere in the apartment. I grabbed the bag of cursed flour and stood beside James. My gaze slipped over to him, he was engrossed in washing that he didn’t notice my hand slip into the bag and grab a handful.

“James?” I spoke, using the best-confused voice I could. As he turned to face me I withdrew my hand and threw the handful of flour at his face.

“Oh shit!” I burst out laughing as James’ let out a huff of air, the flour going everywhere.

“You’re dead.” James’ voice was terrifyingly serious. I took a few steps back in fear. Suddenly James gave a huge grin and grabbed the bag of flour that was now in the open since I backed away.

“James. Don’t. James!” I held my arms out as I backed away.

“Run.” James whispered, his hand diving into the bag of flour. I squealed as I dash around the corner of the kitchen counter, hoping to put some space between us.

 

“Katie, Katie did you really think that would stop me?” James tsked, as he stood poised opposite me.

“You really don’t need to do this James!” I cried out.

“But I do!” He smirked. Suddenly James threw a handful of flour at me, it impacted the right side of my face. My mouth fell open in shock.

“That’s it!” I exclaimed. I leaned over the counter and grabbed the tomato purée.

“Katherine don’t you dare!” James warned. Deciding to take advantage, I put some purée into my hand and closed my eyes, a moment later I was beside James. I wiped my hand down his jaw and chest, covering him in red.

“New rule. No abilities!” James yelled as he grasped the purée from my hand and covered my chest in it. I scooped the excess herbs from the kitchen counter and smeared them down James’ shirt. Then all out war broke out; tomatoes were crushed and spread over one another. Spare lasagna sheets were crumbled and thrown. James pulled me to him trying to stop me from covering him in something else; instead he resorted to tickling my sides.

“James! James stop!” I managed to get out between laughs.

 

I looked up to James, his face was unbelievably close to mine, and he was gazing down at me with this odd look I couldn’t quite place. Our eyes locked. The look in his stormy blue eyes was intense, and the corners of his eyes were crinkled from laughter and smiling. His grip on me tightened, I could feel warmth spreading up my neck and across my cheeks. He broke eye contact to quickly look down at my lips then snapped back to regain it. I let out small soft breaths as I hesitantly leaned forward. James moved forward until our foreheads almost touched. _What the hell is happening! It’s like I can’t breathe, my heart is beating out of my chest. I should pull back, this is wrong, but…_ my thoughts flew through my mind. James edged closer, I could feel his warm steady breath on my lips, and I glanced down to look at his lips then back to his eyes. Just a few more centimeters and our lips would touch; I closed my eyes as I felt his grip tighten further and he moved closer. Then it all disappeared without warning. James let out an awkward cough, his fingers running through his hair. I looked away as embarrassment took over. James leaned against the kitchen counter and slid down it till he sat on the floor, he let out a small chuckle. I sat beside him, letting out a small giggle in response.

“Well we both need a shower.” I smiled.

“Think there’s time before the lasagnas done?” James asked, turning to look at me, a light blush covered his cheeks.

“I might have used all the hot water up.” I admitted, biting my lip as my embarrassment increased.

“Cold shower then. Come on, we can’t eat like this!” James stated, motioning to our messy state.

“You first.” I insisted.

 

I was still sat on the floor when James came out of the bathroom wearing fresh clothes. He fussed his hair with a towel.

“Bathrooms free Kate.” James hollered. I jumped up and walked straight to the bathroom.

“Oh and Kate, there is some hot water, don’t use all of it!” He teased. I shook my head as I closed the door. I stripped and climbed into the shower once again. There was a split second between when I realized the bastard had tricked me and when the ice-cold water hit my body. I shrieked as I jumped out of the shower, nearly falling to the ground in the act. Reluctantly I climbed back into the shower and washed everything from my body and hair. If looks could kill, James wouldn’t even have chance to smell the lasagna never mind eat it. He had a ridiculous smirk plastered on his face when I left the bathroom, a towel wrapped around me.

“Something happen in there Katie?”

“Oh don’t you Katie me mister!” I warned, I grabbed some clothes and retreated back into the bathroom to change.

“Dinner won’t be long.”

“Good!”

 

We decided to move the table onto the balcony, it had become a nice night, and it wasn’t too cool. James walked out holding two plates with a portion of lasagna on each, while I filled two glasses with some kind of wine. I needed something alcoholic to deal with the shit-storm of a day that I had had. Music drifted outside from inside the apartment, my tablet still playing through whichever album I had left it on.

“Katherine I want to apologize for what happened earlier. I shouldn’t have done it.”

I glanced up from the forkful of lasagna I had just shoveled into my mouth.

“Hm?” _Is he talking about when he yelled at me? But he already apologized for that… is he apologizing for what happened between us in the kitchen?_ A slight blush crept up onto my cheeks.

“I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that. You didn’t know; I never gave you a reason why you couldn’t.” He explained.

“I get it. You still don’t trust me. It’s fine James.”

“It’s not about trust.” James admitted quietly.

“The lasagna is lovely isn’t it?” I asked, diverting the conversation. James smiled softly, nodding gently.

“It’s delicious. We did really good!”

“Maybe we could cook together more often?” I wondered aloud.

“As long as it doesn’t end in another food fight!” Exclaimed James. There was a moment of silence before we burst out laughing.

 

Once we’d finished eating, returned the table indoors and cleaned up we sat on the sofa for a time. We chatted for a while; about nothing in particular to begin with but then sometimes James would ask something personal about home or about my past. Sometimes I’d give him and answer other times I didn’t, some things no matter how much time passes, still hurt. Not all wounds heal.

“I’m gonna head to bed, wanna join or you gonna stay up?” I asked James as I picked up my nightclothes and started walking toward the bathroom.

“Give me a few and I’ll follow you.” He spoke softly.

I stripped out of my clothes and pulled on my nightwear, the weather had been quite warm recently so I wore shorts and a sleeveless top. I washed my face then brushed my teeth. I glanced up at the mirror for a second then did a double take. _I could’ve sworn something was off then, just for a second…_ my brow furrowed in confusion but I put it down to being tired after a long day. Once I had cleaned up fully I gathered my clothes and threw them into the laundry bin, I knocked on the door to the bathroom and shouted that I’d be coming out.

 

Only the tall lamp beside the bed illuminated the apartment. I glanced down at the mattress to see James was laid on the left side of the makeshift bed, an unspoken law that, that side of the bed was his. I carefully sat on the bed next to him, I called his name softly but he didn’t respond.

“Sleeping beauty.” I mused.

Some of his hair had fallen in front of his face, every so often he’d bring a hand up to swat away something that was tickling his nose. Ever so carefully I leaned over and tucked the stray piece of hair behind his ear. He stirred slightly but didn’t wake up. _I never noticed how peaceful he is asleep, awake he always has this worried sometimes almost haunted look to him but now… he’s so relaxed._ I slowly stood and turned off the lamp, the apartment fell into complete darkness.

“Goodnight James.” I spoke softly. I settled beneath the blanket and instead of facing the kitchen like every other night, I turned to face James. He was still asleep, no sign of unease or pain on his face that usually accompanied nightmares so, so far he was having a dreamless sleep. _God I’m exhausted, everything today has either been really shitty or really fucking good._ But what played on my mind more and more as I drifted off to sleep was the near kiss between the two of us in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was meant to post this earlier but I've been a bit busy. I had my first exam yesterday, it was really bloody good!!! Four more to go then I finish college and then it is on to university!!! :D
> 
> Anywho, good luck to any of you who are taking exams, hope you all pass!


	11. Chapter 11

Something stirred me in my sleep drawing me away from a dream, my body was too exhausted to fully wake up, my senses were foggy but I could hear relatively well. James was speaking to me softly, it wasn’t the Romanian I had grown accustomed to hearing fall from his lips, I focused in on the sounds he was making and assumed he was speaking Russian. I couldn’t stop the small groan escaping my lips when I felt fingers brush over my temple; the feeling was just too pleasant. But it was gone all too soon. I sighed as sleep pulled me under once again.

 

“James?” I yawned as I sat up in bed; James was beside me still asleep. Usually I woke to James sat at the table reading either a newspaper or the psychology book. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder and he shot up his hand tightly closing around my throat. His eyes were blank, his face emotionless. _James?!_ My eyes widened in shock as his grip became tighter and tighter, I started to choke from the lack of air. My hands came up to grip his arm, I tried pulling him away but he was too strong, then I started hitting his arm and crying out in hopes of snapping him out of it. I started to see black spots and realized I was in real danger. Panicking I reached up and cupped his cheek with one hand while I gripped his hand that was choking me with the other.

“J-James!” I choked out.

“Kate?” He asked, emotion flooding his face, his eyes squinting from the light that flooded into the apartment. He quickly let go of my neck, apologies falling from his lips. I sat up and coughed, my throat raw, my eyes watering.

“Katherine, I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” He exclaimed.

“Hey, it’s okay. I promise,” I spoke once I had regained control of my breathing, we both relaxed for a moment. “It’s meant to be a nice day today, do… do you think we could go out?”

“I… I don’t see why not.” He smiled tightly. James stood and stretched before quickly making his way into the bathroom. I stood and went to the small mirror on the wall and looked at the bruises starting to appear on my neck, I frowned slightly then looked to the bathroom door. I ran my fingers over the bruises and hissed as they ached. I made the bed then made my way onto James’ balcony. For how early it was in the morning, I could only guess that today was going to be scorching. _I’m pretty sure James got me some shorts; I think there’s a tank top or something. Perhaps we can get some ice cream later._

“Your bruises?” James’ voice came through the door onto the balcony. I turned and my brow furrowed, James stepped forward and reached out. I flinched involuntarily and regretted it when hurt flashed over his face. I stepped forward and nodded to tell him it was alright. His fingers ghosted over my neck, over the bruises but no discomfort came.

“They’re gone.” He noted.

“I heal quick, but I didn’t think this quick.” I replied.

I leaned on the wall of the balcony and smiled happily.

“Someone’s happy this morning, given what I did” James’ brow furrowed. I laughed as I turned to face him; he was leaning on the balcony beside me.

“The idea of ice cream would make anyone smile.”

“Planning our day already?” James chuckled.

“Why not?” I shrugged.

 

James was the one who made breakfast, which was waiting for me after I’d been washed. Once we’d got ready we made our way down the stairwell of the apartment complex, when we reached the ground floor James tugged a baseball cap onto my head.

“I thought the reason you made me get my hair coloured and cut was so I wouldn’t need this.” I pointed to the cap.

“It’s gonna be a hot day doll.” He replied. I made a sound of acknowledgement. The streets were bustling with people making it hard to move through the crowds from time to time. James sometimes pulled me into a shop if something had caught his eye, and sometimes I did the same. There were times where James seemed to drift away and constantly checked behind his shoulder, during those times I carefully took his hand in mine and squeezed.

“James?” I asked when he looked across the street several times. His head snapped to face me, I squeezed his hand tight and he seemed to calm again.

“You’re not going to leave are you?” He sounded broken as he spoke. I pulled myself close to his side and reassured him that I wasn’t going to leave out of my own volition.

 

When lunchtime came around James and I sat in a park on the grass eating burgers and chips from a fast-food restaurant.

“It’s so damn warm!” I cried out.

“Fancy an ice cream?”

“Oh God! Hell yeah!” I enthused.

“I’ll go find some okay?”

“Vanilla for me!”

James chuckled and disappeared. I lay back on the grass and pulled on the sunglasses I’d bought an hour or two before. _I don’t think today could get any better, it’s hot and the suns out!_ Then a thought suddenly hit me, _I should find a notebook for James, a nice one, I’m pretty sure I saw a shop back that way that might have what I have in mind._

“Katie?” James called, I sat up abruptly and glanced up to see James stood holding two ice creams. He held one out for me.

“Thank you!” I grinned.

“You were a million miles away then.”

“Oh I was just thinking. After this can we head back that way, there’s a shop I want to have a look in?” I asked.

“Of course.”

 

James and I sat quietly as we peered across the park filled with people enjoying the sun. Children played and chased one another while adults sat on benches or on the grass soaking up the sun.

“Oh God James, this ice cream is just amazing!”

“You’ll get no argument from me.” James smiled.

“We gonna get going?” I asked.

“Come on then.” James stood and offered me his hand, I took it and he pulled me up. We wandered hand in hand through the park in silence, as we reached the shop I wanted to go in I turned to James.

“I won’t be long so you’re fine to wait outside or something.”

James turned to watch the market being held across the street.

“I’ll be over there and meet you back here. Deal?”

“Of course. Have fun!” I smiled before turning to enter the shop. The man at the counter greeted me with a smile, which I returned.

“Looking for something specific?” His accent was strong.

“A notebook, but a leather one?” I asked unsure.

“At the back” He smiled.

“Thanks!”

I made my way to the back of the small shop; I was the only person in the shop other than the man at the counter.

“Looking for someone special?” The man called.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” I smiled to myself. _Is James someone special to me? I guess, we’ve become close and we’re relaxed in each other’s company. Sure we have our rough spots but who doesn’t. But damn it I care for him!_

 

A sound of triumph fell from my lips as I found a large collection of different notebooks, all different colours. _Maybe something with colour, James’ notebooks are all black, or the ones I have seen are all black._ The bell above the shop door rung as someone entered. I heard muffled words exchanged before it fell silent. After a few minutes of deliberation I finally chose a notebook that I thought was right for James and made my way to the counter. The man who had greeted me when I entered had disappeared, in his place another man stood. He was much younger; he was tall and dark skinned. But he had an equally kind smile on his face.

“He went out for his lunch, anything I can help you with?” The man answered my unvoiced question.

“Can I take this please?” I asked moving closer to the counter then stopped in my tracks. _If he left, why didn’t the bell on the door ring? I didn’t hear any doors open or close and the only other door I noticed was near the back, I would’ve definitely noticed if he had left._ Something instinctual told me something was seriously wrong. That’s when my gaze fell on the arm on the floor poking out from the counter. My head snapped up to see the new man was now stood opposite blocking my exit; my eyes were wide with shock and fear.

“Now, now Miss Holt,” _How does he know my name?_ I started to walk backwards trying to get as much distance between us as possible. “You made it _very_ difficult to find you, but no one can find from us forever.”

I closed my eyes tight; I tried to focus on somewhere, anywhere but suddenly something snapped around my neck. My hands flew up to the metal collar around my throat dropping the notebook in the process. I span to see a hulking figure behind me, a sickening smile on his face.

“We won’t be having any of that. No, no. You’re coming with us now Miss Holt. Make a noise, make any indication that you’re going to _try_ and flee.” The dark skinned man mocked. “You don’t know what pain is, but you will if you try anything. Made myself clear?” He asked.

“Fuck you!” I spat.

 

I was pushed through the shop to the back door, which opened up onto an alley. The dark skinned man walked to a van and opened the side door, sliding it open and stood leaning on the vehicle. I stopped a few feet from the open door, _what do I do? I can’t go with them. James doesn’t know what’s happened; he’ll think I’ve just left him!_ I internally panicked. I glanced around to see if there was anything I could do. There wasn’t.

“Move!” The hulking figure behind me boomed, pushing on my back harshly. I let out a pained sound at the force.

“Don’t hurt her, that’s the doctor’s job.” The dark skinned man chuckled. The fear, anger and desperation running through me caused something deep inside me to click into place, it gave me an idea. I climbed into the van without being pressured by the two men.

“Good girl.” The hulking figure mocked as he slammed the door shut. I glanced around the back of the van; it was closed off from the driver’s section. As the van lurched into movement I sat by the back doors to the van and placed my hands on the floor. I closed my eyes and focused deeply on the van. A sound of discomfort escaped my lips as I pushed my body to manipulate the metal under the van; I focused on changing its shape, making it sharp as a knife and hot enough to cut into the road with ease like a cheese wire without it hindering the movement of the van. I bit my lip to silence the sound of pain rising in my throat. I focused further; making sure it wouldn’t make any sound as it dragged through the road. Once I’d manipulated what was needed I sat back and relaxed but kept my hands glued to the floor of the van. I just hoped that the thin impression I was making into the road would be enough for James to notice and follow but not give anything away to anyone else. _Come for me James. Please, don’t let them have me._


	12. Chapter 12

I was pushed out of the van; I glanced around to find myself in some nondescript place. _In the middle of nowhere, good place to take people without raising suspicion._

“You little _bitch!”_ The hulking figure slapped my across the face sending me down to the ground in pain. The dark skinned man look to where the hulking man pointed, the trail I’d made was very clear on the dirt track.

“Oh you _clever girl_. You want that friend of yours to come find you.” The dark skinned man stated.

“Want us to make it disappear?” The huge man asked.

“No,” he motioned for a group of armed men to come close. “Anyone that isn’t one of us makes their way down here, you shoot and don’t stop till they’re dead.”

His order was met by a shout of ‘Yes, Sir!’ it was then that fear turned my blood cold. _Whoever these bastards are, they’re serious!_

 

I was restrained and was walked through a set of thick metal doors; a small group of armed men and women surrounded me, guiding me. My gaze raced around the corridor I was marched down. Cries of pain and screams echoed and filled the air. I kept silent the entire time, not wanting to give them a reason to cause me any more pain than what they had planned for me. I shuddered at the thought. _Please hurry James! Oh God! What if he thinks I’ve abandoned him? What if he isn’t coming?_ I worried my lip as unwelcome thoughts filled my mind.

“Scared little girl?” A woman to my left asked, a smirk playing on her lips.

“Yes.” I admitted sadly.

“You don’t know fear, not just yet anyway.” She chuckled, a few of her colleagues joined in. It was a maze I was walked around, even if I had tried to remember the way there was no chance I’d remember anything after the first six turns. I was marched down a set of stairs, going deeper and deeper in the compound. Then they all stopped and held their position.

 

That’s when other men and women took over. I was escorted down another corridor, this time however there were cells covering each side. I took quick glances to see inside as I passed. Broken bodies and deceased monstrous creatures lay in the cells. The further down they escorted me, the bodies were alive but only barely, and even further then that, there were people clinging to the bars of their cells, their voices hoarse or non-existent from shouting. _Is this going to be my fate?_ A stray tear rolled down my cheek.

“The time for crying has long passed, nothing will come of it. But the doctor will enjoy seeing your tears. He’s flown in especially to see you.” A man spoke, giving a cruel grin. I was then pushed into an empty cell when I wouldn’t walk in willingly.

“But for the time being. Sit. Enjoy your surroundings. You’re going to be here for _quite_ some time.” A woman spoke cheerfully. The door to the cell shut behind me and locked, the men and women walked away.

“Pathetic, isn’t she. Why does the doctor have such an interest in the bitch anyway?” I faintly heard one ask the others as they walked away. Their answer, if there even was one, was lost in the stale air.

It felt like a day had passed when someone came to see me. Knowing my luck it probably was a day. My stomach cramped with hunger, my throat was dry with thirst. But no food or drink was brought. _I’m going to die here, whether it’s from starvation and thirst or from whatever they have planned. But I’m going to die._ With all the time I had to myself, I had become convinced that there was no way out of this that no one was coming for me, and that I was going to die.

“Hello Miss Holt. My, my, it has been some time hasn’t it. You’ve been hard to find, but I’m sure it was worth it.” Doctor Ingram was crouched a few feet away from me. Rage filled me and I launched myself to the bars of the cell, sticking my arm out to try and grab the bastard, but he pulled away before I got chance; he merely tutted.

“That’s not how you greet a friend.”

“ _You_ are _not_ my _friend!_ ” I growled out.

“Oh you’ll be surprised, after the next few days, or even weeks depending, you and I,” He motioned to himself then me. “Are going to become the best of friends.”

“You’re a sick bastard!” I yelled.

“If the shoe fits, wear it,” He shrugged and walked away. “See you bright and early tomorrow Miss Holt.”

 

I didn’t sleep that night. Which only made it easier for them to take me when they came. I tried to fight I really tried. But I was exhausted, physically and mentally. I merely went limp in their grip after I had tried to pull away once. But when they dragged me into a painfully sterile white room, I fought with newfound vigor. There in the middle of the room sat a metal table, above it attached to the ceiling. A mirror.

“No! No!” I screamed repeatedly until I could taste blood in my throat. I struggled as they threw me onto the cold metal surface and strapped me down.

“Please, no! Don’t, please!” I cried. _This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening!_ I screamed internally.

“Ah Miss Holt. Beautiful morning isn’t it?” Doctor Ingram’s voice entered the room.

“Please. Please, I’m begging you. Don’t!” I begged. He laughed.

“You’re begging this early? Well that’s a first. The others they keep fighting and don’t say a word. But you, you seem talkative. I like when they talk, well scream but you get what I mean.” His laugh made my blood go cold. I pulled against my restraints. _He’s fucking insane! Oh God! I’m going to die._ A distressed cry broke out from my throat.

“Oh my beautiful creature, you’re not going to die today. Tomorrow maybe, or you might last longer, I don’t know.”

 

More people filed into the room, all dressed in white surgical clothes. The restraints had begun to bite into my skin.

“First we must remove this inconvenience.” Doctor Ingram motioned to my clothes. Suddenly before I could utter a word one of the people who’d just filed in took a pair of razor sharp scissors and cut through my tank top and shorts then pulled the fabric away, thankfully leaving on what I wore underneath. The chill of the table made me shiver violently.

“Don’t worry Miss Holt. Those shivers won’t last long.”

_Why did I have to do that fucking drug trial? Why couldn’t I have got a second part time job, or asked for a raise? But… I would’ve never met James. James._ It was the thought of James I held onto fiercely as the doctor called for a scalpel and made the first incision.

 

I was certain I was going to go mad if I had to watch my reflection much longer. I had spent hours restrained to the metal table. I knew this because of the clock on the wall. The bastards would do so much to me then piss off for an hour or two then return to continue the torture. They called it ‘research’ but I called it what it was. The thing I hated about my abilities was that no matter how deep and how many times they cut me, I healed in minutes. I heard footsteps enter the room.

“Back again? How long you gonna leave me next? Why not a day, or how about, here’s one for you, how about a week!” I laughed hysterically, _that’s it I’ve lost it; I’ve officially lost it. If they don’t kill me, I’m likely to do it to myself anyway._ As the others filed in again, some of them chatting about fuck-knows, the doctor picked up the scalpel.

“Strap her head down, facing to the right.” He ordered one of the assistants. I fought as much as I could, using up the last ounces of strength I had, but they pinned my head to the table, a leather strap coming across my head, pressing against my left temple. No matter how much I tried to move my head, I couldn’t.

“Now Miss Holt. This may hurt a little.” Doctor Ingram spoke softly, his lips close to my ear making me shudder in discomfort. I couldn’t see what he was doing, but I felt it when the blade of the scalpel ran down the side of my neck below my ear. I screamed further when something was inserted in the cut that held it open wide.

“Chip!” I could barely hear the doctor above my screams. Then I felt something foreign and wrong being thrust deep into my neck.

 

I wasn’t fully conscious, or aware of my surroundings due to the pain from the trauma to my neck.

“That will be all for today. Thank you Miss Holt.”

Suddenly the restraints were gone, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t fight. I had expended all my energy. I was carried back to my cell and dropped onto the floor. I curled up, the icy cold of the floor burying deep into my skin; I gently rubbed my wrists and ankles, now burnt red and bleeding from the restraints. I’m not sure how long I was laid there for, but I was praying for some kind of release. I peered up slowly when the door to my cell swung open.

“Please. No more.” I whispered, tears running down my cheeks. The clatter of metal met my ears and I glanced to see a tray of food on the ground. The door closed and locked once again. I pulled myself over and scoffed everything, licking the plate clean. Yet I still needed more.

“I need to get out of here.” I spoke aloud to myself.

“They’ve put the chip in your neck right?” I sudden croaky voice spoke. I peered out of my cell to the cell across me, a woman sat by the bars. Her gaze fixed on me. I nodded in response.

“Then you’re fucked sweetheart. You belong to _them_ now. One foot out of line and boom, your artery is ripped to shreds. If you’re lucky you die instantly, if not, it takes minutes. And from what I’ve heard the guards say, you’d take _hours_ to die. But by then _they_ would have healed you, made you _theirs_ again.”

“How do you know this?” I whispered.

“I’ve seen it happen to the last…six…subjects.” The woman croaked. Not long after, the guards came. They opened the cell opposite me and dragged the woman from it, she didn’t resist. Hours later they dumped her back in her cell. I called out to her but was met with silence. I gave up after the first few tries. I curled up at the back of my cell and let exhaustion take over.

 

It was the animalistic screams that startled me awake. Alarms were blaring, the cells were bathed in red, and I heard armed guards running towards me. When the cell opposite me burst open, the screech of metal being pulled apart filled the air, gunfire started. I watched helpless as the grotesque creature that had been the woman who’d spoken to me earlier climbed from the cell. It slaughtered the armed guard. It had a tongue that fell from its mouth, its tip dragging along the floor. As the armed men and women came too close its tongue would whip out. I watched in horror as razor thin spikes sprung out of the side on its tongue. It wrapped around each guard’s neck, squeeze and rip away, their head coming clean off. It’s unnaturally lean body dodged attackers that managed to get past its tongue. But they died slowly as its long claws drove into their body and threw them aside. The creature made a clicking sound deep in its throat as it tore through all the guards that came to put it down. After there was no one who could threaten it, it went through the dying and bit deep into their throat and tore into them.

 

Once there were no more men and women to tear through its head snapped to me. It stalked closer and tilted its head. What remained of the woman’s hair drifted eerily with the movement, its eyes were huge, and a cat like slit in the middle, the iris’ colour was the only indication of the person before. It gripped the bars of my cell and pulled, slowly the bars to my cell started to give way, the creature slid one leg into the cell before the ring of a bullet filled the air. It lay dead. Blood seeped out of bullet wound in its head. I was shaking as men came and took the creature back to the cell and left it, they then went to work cleaning up the bodies of the dead. _Is that what’s going to happen to me? Am I going to become that?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised I'm quite close to actually finishing this, so I'm going to upload a few chapters over the next few days. I'm feeling nice. Enjoy x


	13. Chapter 13

I was taken from my cell early in the morning and strapped back onto the icy cold metal table. Once again I was forced to watch my own reflection as they carved into me. I screamed and screamed, sometimes the pain would become unbearable and I’d pass out. _They wait until I wake up again to continue, they want me to see everything, feel everything they do to me._

“I apologize for Miss West’s actions last night. I’m sure you were quite scared. I am proud you didn’t try to escape. Given the hole in your room.” Doctor Ingram spoke casually it made me shudder. _My room? That cell is my room. I just want this to end. Just kill me already._ I had lost hope that James would come for me: I was on my own. It was that moment I had decided that, that night I would escape, I wouldn’t allow myself to be put through this anymore.

“You’re going to make Exodus very proud, you’ll be an excellent weapon. I’m hopeful your body will able to take on what has left everyone before you dead.” He smiled.

 

I shrieked when he took the scalpel down my stomach and kept it open with the retractors. That’s when they all left the room. Although my body stopped the bleeding and fought against the foreign object keeping me open to try and knit itself back together, I was left there in agony. But they returned sooner than they usually did and continued whatever procedure they had planned.

“Now Miss Holt, I’m going to have to use anesthetic on you.” The doctor stated. _At last!_ I internally celebrated. I couldn’t feel much as they rummaged through my guts, I watched in the mirror as they meshed bits of electronic into my body and injected different coloured liquids into my veins and muscles.

“You’re going to need multiple injections to get the results we need,” Doctor Ingram whispered in my ear. “That woman, and the others, they changed into those _hideous_ creatures after about the twentieth series of injections.” He added. I whined, as tears ran down my cheeks.

 

It was hours later that they dumped me back into my cell I quickly realized they had repaired the bars. _I can’t escape! I can’t get out!_ I held in my tears until the guards had disappeared. I sobbed. I pushed myself to the back corner of my cell. I ignored the food that was given to me.

“A present for being such a good girl from the doctor.” A guard grinned. I could hear his laughter as he walked away. I let my head loll to the side and rest on the metal wall of my cell. I closed my eyes and tried to find some solace. I watched as the guards switched, signifying it was near midnight. I still hadn’t touched the food. I was determined to end it someway. After it had quieted down from the change in shift, I heard the distant sound of fighting. My brow furrowed, as I heard no hail of bullets, which would happen if someone had tried to escape, I put it down to guards having a fight between each other. It was silent for some time afterwards. Soon after I heard a grunt of pain and an angered but hushed voice. Moments later I heard someone running down the corridor. The footsteps stopped outside my cell.

 

“What have they done to you?” A sad voice asked. My head snapped up.

“J- James!” I choked on my sobs; I tried to stand but had no energy. I watched as he gripped the cell door with his left hand and ripped it clean off. He rushed toward me and gathered me in his arms. I gripped him tightly, then cried hard into his chest.

“I thought you abandoned me.” I cried.

“I’m here now Katherine. I saw the trail you left. You are such a clever woman. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner; I needed to stake out this place. Otherwise even if I could make it down to you-“

“They would’ve moved me elsewhere.” I wiped away my tears and sniffed.

“And you’d be lost to me. I needed to be certain I could get to out of here!” James squeezed me tightly. He supported my body as he stood and walked out of my cell and down the corridor, my arm wrapped around the back of his neck and my body limp against his side.

“I can’t go James!” I spoke softly.

“Katherine?”

“They put stuff in me. I take one step out there and they blow a hole in my neck.” I weakly pointed to where the device was in my neck.

 

I directed James to the surgical rooms; he carefully lifted me and placed me on the table.

“Take the collar off.”

James grasped the collar and pulled it apart. He tossed it onto the floor. I reached out and held James’ hand, I closed my eyes and showed him where I saw them put the chip in my neck and where in my abdomen they’d placed the other devices.

“What the _fuck_ have the done to you!” He growled out.

“Sound the alarm!” A voice screamed from the door. James ran; I had to listen to the sounds of fighting for several minutes. The alarm never sounded. James walked back in a moment later. He quickly found anesthetic and injected it into my neck.

“Lets get that shit outta you.” James grabbed a scalpel and knelt beside me. Slowly drew a line down my neck and held the wound open, he grabbed some forceps and gently eased them into the wound. I bit my lip at the discomfort.

“Keep calm Katherine.”

I felt James grip the chip and pull it free from my neck. He placed it in his left hand and crushed it.

“I’m sorry doll but this is going to hurt!” James’ voice held sadness as he injected as much anesthetic he could into my abdomen. He took the scalpel in hand but kept moving it around in his grip, clearly nervous.

“James,” I reached out my arm and gripped his arm and rubbed circles with my thumb. “You can do this. Please.”

James nodded gently and cut me open. Piece by piece he removed the devices from my body.

“Katherine, it doesn’t want to come out, it’s embedded deep.”

“James, please! Rip it out if you must, I’ll heal. Just take it out.” I bit my lip as he cut the last device out. He applied pressure to where he’d cut, I could feel my flesh knit back together under his hands. He pulled his hands away, his eyes widening in surprise, as there wasn’t even a sign of his actions.

 

James kept watch as he gave me time to heal. I was forced to lie there as he fought the odd guard patrol that came past.

“James!” I called when I sat up, fully healed. He quickly jogged in and helped me off the table.

“Can you do your…teleport thing?”

“I think so…” I admitted. “But I won’t be able to go far.”

“Can you get in my head? I hid a motorbike near the end of the road. Can you go that far?”

I placed my fingers on James’ temple and closed my eyes. I could faintly see the bike, but the longer I stayed in his head the more I was being pushed out. I focused as much as I can and held tight onto James who held onto me just as tight. _Please let this work._ I begged silently. Suddenly I felt weightless but could still feel James’ grip on my body. Then next second I felt a cold night breeze hit me. I shivered wrapping my arms around my near naked frame.

“Shit. Katherine, I should’ve grabbed some clothes. Here.” James shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around me. He jogged over to where he had hid the bike and motioned for me to hop on. With a little help I was sat in front of James on the bike.

“Take me home.”

“Home?” James’ voice was filled with confusion.

“Your apartment James, _home._ ”

Suddenly alarms and sirens blared in the distance.

“They’re coming!” I cried.

“They’re _not_ getting you.” James promised as he started the bike and sped off.

 

When we reached the end of the road, it split off into two; I could faintly see the tracks from where James had come from. Instead of going that way, James turned right, making a new set of tracks.

“By the time they realize you’re gone and come out here, they won’t know which tracks to follow!” James shouted over the wind. I savored the feel of the wind in my face and the night sky above me. After a few miles James stopped the bike and helped me off. He disposed of the bike and we continued on foot.

“James, I can’t go any further.” I admitted. Exhaustion had faded away during our escape but was now settling in my bones. James abruptly picked me up and carried me in his arms.

“Close your eyes Katherine. Sleep.” He ordered gently. But I was worried: _will they find us? Can James get us home? Am I actually going to live?_ I must’ve worn myself out worrying because eventually I did exactly what James asked; it didn’t take long for me to fall asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

 

I woke up screaming, images of the guards being slaughtered faded away slowly.

“Katherine!” James exclaimed he rushed to my side. He reached out but I pulled away from his touch, his hand dropped.

“Don’t touch me!” I yelled, holding my hands up as a barrier between us.

“You’re safe Kate. You’re home!”

I glanced around me and looked down. I was sat on the mattress, a blanket tucked around me. We were in James’ apartment. I sighed in relief.

“Go back to sleep, I’ll make breakfast.”

“How?” I asked quietly.

“How what?”

“How did we get home? Why did you come after me when you could’ve left me?”

“One question at a time.” James answered, he wandered over to the kitchen and grabbed two mugs, and he started making two coffees. I watched as he grabbed a bowl and a box of cereal and poured some. He walked back over to me and sat beside me. He placed the bowl on the floor and pushed it towards me. I gingerly picked it up and placed it in my lap.

“After you fell asleep I kept walking. Hid our tracks well so they had no chance of finding us if they came that way. Found our way onto the metro, it was empty so no one saw you, I kept you hidden. Then walked the rest of the way home.”

I slowly picked through the cereal, eating the odd bit, but I didn’t have much of an appetite.

“Why I came after you? Damn Katie I care for you, I wouldn’t let them turn you into a monster. And after what I saw, I mean it physically as well.”

“I watched one. It tore the guards apart, killed them. They were making me into something like that, but something they could control.”

“Katherine.” His voice was full of sadness.

“The people who made me, who took me, they call themselves Exodus.” I spoke quietly. James stood up and a moment later brought back two coffees. I sipped it slowly, and picked up a piece of breakfast every so often and popped it into my mouth.

James insisted I go back to sleep after I had eaten. I curled up tightly and pulled the blanket around me, holding it to my chest. James disappeared into the bathroom, and the moment I heard the shower start I broke down in tears. I wasn’t sure whether they were tears of joy, pain or sadness or a mixture of all three. _I’m home I’m safe. There’s nothing inside of me._ I cried myself to sleep. I felt something shaking me and woke up gasping for air. I saw a figure beside me and forced myself away.

“Don’t take me! Please, no more!” I cried out.

“Katherine it’s me!” James spoke softly. His face was etched with worry.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” I breathed slowly.

“No. You’re not okay. Don’t bullshit me Kate.” James folded his arms across his chest. He opened his arms out and motioned for me to come close. I shook my head ‘no’. Instead I stood and wandered around the apartment.

“I don’t know what to do James. They want me. They’re not gonna stop.”

“It’ll be tough. There are going to be times where everything seems lost. But I won’t let them take you again.”

“Promise?” I asked.

“Promise.”

I glanced over to the newspaper sitting on the table and something caught my eye.

“James when did you get this?”

“When we coming home.”

I made my way to the table; I stood and read an article plastered across the top of the page.

“Katie?” James called, his hand rested on my shoulder but I retreated from his touch. Tears ran down my cheek.

“He was killed because of me. I thought maybe they just knocked him out. But they killed him. To get to me.” I pointed to the article about the death of a shopkeeper.

“It wasn’t your fault Katherine.”

“He died because of me! They were after me and they killed him because of it. James he has a family! I took him away from his family!” I yelled at him.

“Katie…”

“Don’t call me that. Don’t… just leave me alone.” I whispered.

 

A week went by. James and I kept our distance. My nightmares caused me to get violent so he chose to sleep on the sofa instead of beside me, despite him having nightmares of his own to contend with. He’d often sit on the balcony or at the table during the day while I stayed in bed or the rare times I curled up on the sofa. One time when he left the apartment to buy groceries, he came back to find me sat in the bathroom shaking and holding a knife:

“Woah! Katherine put the knife down.” He spoke softly.

“They were here. You left and they came, they wanted to take me.”

“Kate,” James knelt down. “You’re the only one that’s been in the apartment since I’ve been gone.”

“No! They were here!” I cried. “They wrecked the place so I hid in here.”

“Katherine you were dreaming. The apartment is fine.” He motioned past him, I glanced behind him and he was right.

“But I could’ve sworn they were…here?” I stepped slowly out of the bathroom. “I was dreaming…you’re right.” I sighed sadly, feeling humiliated.

“Will you let me help you?” James asked. I nodded.

 

After that day James had got a resident a few floors down to buy and fetch up his groceries. The nights where I couldn’t sleep due to the guilt of the innocent father being murdered because of me, I’d let James hold me as I cried. He’d stroke my hair and pull me against his chest, shushing me and trying his best to soothe me. Things started to get better when I stopped getting violent during the nightmares; James decided then to rejoin me on the mattress. And the nights when I shook and writhed as I dreamed of being turned into a monster, or when I dreamed of that surgical room, I woke the next morning to be wrapped tightly in James’ arms. The lengths he’d go to ensure I was recovering shocked me. He’d sit for hours and listen as I told him what happened, the nightmares that I had, and what I feared might happen, he never uttered a word. Once I’d finished telling him all I wanted for that day he’d bring me the only thing I could manage to make myself eat for that day. But things got a lot better when James suggested listening to music as I went to sleep. I was skeptical at first but when my nightmares faded, and instead I’d see darkness and hear disjointed sound. The morning after the first try I’d hugged James tightly, startling him for his sleep, for the first time in over a week I laughed.

 

As the weeks passed I was managing to eat more and was regaining the weight I had lost. I gathered the courage to listen to music less and less on a night until I could sleep comfortably without it. Of course there was the odd night the nightmares came back, James was by my side with a set of earphones and settled me back down. Eventually I was brave enough to let him leave the apartment to shop for groceries. I was a little shaky when he came back and I hugged him tightly, but I was fine. I started to laugh more and soon I was helping James cook a proper meal again.

“You’re recovering really well Katie,” James smiled as he rolled out pastry. “How do you think you’re doing?”

“The nightmares are barely there and I have you to help when they rear their ugly head. But I have to admit I still have the fear that they’re going to find me again, that the next time even the Avengers won’t be able to help.” I pierced the pastry as James placed it on top of the pie. James fell awfully quiet. I wrapped my arms around him, giving him a squeeze.

“Thank you for putting up with me James. You have no idea how grateful I am for what you’ve done these past few weeks.” I spoke with a smile as I placed the pie into the oven.

 

I wandered over and sat on the bed, letting out a long sigh and closing my eyes for a minute, relishing in the quiet and warmth of the apartment.

“Hey!” I hollered as I glanced over at James’ side of the bed.

“What?” James asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Put your shit on the coat hook!” I chuckled, I leaned over to his side of the bed and grabbed the jacket strewn on the floor and threw it at him. He caught it and chuckled. I watched as he hooked it up and then his brow furrowed.

“What’s up?” I questioned, I stood and stepped over to him. James pulled out a painfully familiar notebook.

“I forgot I had this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah I forgot that this is where it starts getting interesting!


	15. Chapter 15

“W- where did you get that?” I asked.

“When you were taken…I went into that shop looking for you. Found money and this on the ground. I suppose it’s yours then.” James held out the notebook. I pushed it back into his hands.

“It was for you. I- I wanted to get you something, guess it was a way of me saying thank you. Seems pathetic now doesn’t it?” I chuckled sadly.

“You got it for me?”

“I know how you write in those other notebooks, I thought maybe I could get you a new one for when the others are full.” I motioned toward the blue leather notebook he held gently. Suddenly James took me in his arms, his hand coming up to cup my cheek, his thumb stroking my cheek softly. I didn’t have time to react before he crashed his lips to mine. He kissed me tenderly before pulling away.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t of-“

I pushed myself onto my tiptoes and kissed him before he could say anything else. It was a moment before he started kissing me back. And we stood there, in the middle of the apartment, our home, his arms around me pressing my body against his and my arms hooked behind his neck. His kisses were soft and gentle, they were careful; like he was trying to soothe the pain evident in my own kisses, the fear and the sorrow he tried kissing away. His hand came up and buried itself in my hair, his fingers massaging my scalp. I sighed happily when we pulled apart.

“Should’ve done that the day in the park.” James mumbled.

“Should’ve done that when we made lasagna.” I replied. We glanced at each other before we both blushed furiously.

 

“Katherine I want to show you something.” He quietly spoke; he picked me up making me squeal before he dropped me onto the mattress. He joined me a minute later holding a notebook of his.

“Read it.” James told me. I watched as his eyes filled with apprehension and worry was flowing off of him in waves. Cautiously I opened the notebook to the first page and began reading. It was like a diary, each entry had a date to it, as I flicked through this particular notebook the dates jumped. But what made my brow furrow in confusion are the dates. Some were relatively recent like the nineties, but then there were others going back to the sixties.

“James what is this?”

“Read.” His voice cracked. I picked one entry from a random and started reading. I swallowed thickly the further I got into it. Then James handed me another notebook, this one was open on a particular page.

“I need you to know. I want you to know Katie.” James’ voice held sadness. I held the notebook James offered me and read.

“You’re him. You’re the one everyone calls The Winter Soldier. James-“

“James Buchanan Barnes.” He interrupted.

“You’re an assassin. You’ve _murdered_ innocent people. You nearly killed Captain America the other year. You’re _best_ _friend_!”

“I know.”

“You know!” I yelled incredulously. “I’ve been living with a monster for the past few months. You never thought I’d want to _know_ something like that!” I suddenly stood up, feeling the need to get away.

“And you just _kissed_ me. Oh _God_. I kissed _you_!” I cried out.

“Katie where are you going?” James stood suddenly, fear in his eyes.

 

“I can’t stay here. I’m leaving!” I walked to the door and opened it ready to take that last step and leave permanently. But then I saw him; he was sat on the edge of the sofa, his head in his hands looking down at the floor. His fingers gripped his hair tight. _But he’s never harmed me, not intentionally. That man sat right there he isn’t the man I saw on the news all those years ago. The man sat there could’ve killed those men who took me, but he knocked them out. The Winter Soldier is a heartless killing machine, yet that man there took me in and has done nothing but take care of me. A heartless man wouldn’t help me fight the nightmares away._ I sighed and shut the door. I heard a sad sigh leave James’ lips. I closed my eyes and focused, and then I was sat beside him.

“Tell me your side of the story.” I whispered. James’ head snapped up to look at me; his stormy blue eyes were wide with surprise.

“You’re not leaving?” He asked.

“Not unless you want me to?” I asked in response. The reply was James pulling me close and pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“Don’t go.” He begged. I held his hand and asked him.

“Tell me?”

 

And there he sat and explained slowly everything from the beginning, from meeting Steve Rogers and their close friendship, to the war and his capture. By this point the timer went off for dinner, and while we ate James continued to explain everything. He told me about falling and being captured a second time, but this time it was more permanent. He went on to tell me about how they wiped his memories, and instilled a new persona inside of him, how they brainwashed him to make the perfect weapon. He spoke about how he was placed in cryo and how he’s been on the run since the events in Washington. He ended by saying he remembered almost everything now, which is why he kept writing as something new popped up every so often. He told me how he remembered them. He remembered every person he had killed. I sat and listened the entire time, mirroring what he had done for me just a few weeks ago.

“I’m sorry about earlier, about what I said. I was upset.”

“I get it Katie. It’s fine.”

“It’s not James! I said some pretty fucked up shit to you.” I exclaimed.

“I didn’t expect any less. But I didn’t expect that you’d up and leave. Be mad at me and shout, even hit me but hell leaving?”

“I know. Glad I didn’t take that step, Glad I thought it through.”

“I’m glad you didn’t leave.”

 

After we’d cleaned up we decided to call it a night. But unlike every night before, I started this one laid beside James, his arm around me and my head on his chest.

“Can I see it?” I asked sheepishly, tapping the arm that was wrapped around me.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

James slowly pulled off the glove he was wearing, revealing his hand. I gasped and sat up, James propped himself up on his elbows before joining me sat up cross-legged on the bed. I ran my fingers over the cool metal plates, and watched amused and in amazement as the tips of his fingers moved.

“It’s so life like!” I enthused.

“It doesn’t scare you?” James asked. I shook my head ‘no’. I pushed up James’ sleeve to see past his hand.

“Here.” James pulled the long sleeved shirt over his head. I gasped in shock and awe. I carefully ran my fingers up and down the length of the arm, watching intently as the metal plates shifted with his movement. My fingers traced over the red star that embellished the shoulder. But then my gaze fell on the scar tissue where the metal met flesh.

“Oh James!” I sighed sadly, _that had to hurt at some point._

“It doesn’t hurt anymore, it’s just numb.” He answered my unspoken question. I carefully let my fingers run along the extensive scar tissue. Tears filled my eyes as I thought of the pain the man in front of me had been through.

“Katie, doll, don’t cry for me. Oh Katherine!” James pulled me to him, stroking my hair.

“Does this mean you get to sleep topless now?” I sniffed, giving a small smile when I looked up at him. He just shrugged.

“If that’s what you want doll.” He chucked. He pulled me back into bed then wrapped the blanket around us tightly, his arm wrapping around my waist just as tight.

“Wait, do I still call you James, or is it Bucky now?” I mused.

“I like it when you call me James.”

“That sir is because that’s all I’ve ever called you.” I teased.

“Call me Bucky tomorrow and we’ll see hm?”

“Deal!” I yawned, already falling asleep in his arms. “Goodnight James Buchanan Barnes. Sweet dreams.” I spoke sleepily.

“Sleep well Katherine Holt!” He chuckled.


	16. Chapter 16

James squeezed me tightly when I started to stir; I screwed my eyes and buried myself into the mass of muscle beside me.

"Too bright!" I cried out. That earned a deep chuckle from James.

"Go get cleaned up. I'll make breakfast."

I groaned, wanting to stay in the warmth, I felt safe beside James. His chest rose and fell with laughter then calmed. I could faintly hear his heartbeat; I smiled when it sped up when I pushed myself closer to him. All of a sudden he coiled his left arm around my waist under my nightshirt, I jumped up letting out a surprised squeal and rubbed where his metal limb had touched my side.

"Hey! That was cold! You did that on purpose."

"Did I?" He gave a lazy smirk as he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair putting it back in place. He pointed to the bathroom and motioned for me to 'shoo'.

"Rude!" I joked.

 

I stood staring at my reflection in the bathroom, a toothbrush in my mouth. _They'll find me easily, and next time they'll move me to somewhere that James can't get to, despite his... Skills, there are certain things that even The Winter Soldier just can't do! Not even changing my hairstyle and colour could hide me from them! I don't know where to begin to try and hide myself again_. I leant down and spat into the sink and washed it away. James burst into the bathroom a moment after I'd stood up and screamed.

"Katie! What...Katherine?" James' stance went from worried to defensive in a second.

"What the fuck!" I yelled, I watched my reflection in the mirror; I shut my eyes tight, counted to ten then opened them again.

"That's… new..." James had relaxed slightly, his brow was furrowed and confusion and wonder was covering his face.

 

It was myself in the mirror, but not quite me. My brunette hair courtesy of James was now a bright ginger; its short style had altered, it now extended to my mid-back and curled slightly at the ends. Across my cheeks and nose was a scattering of freckles that weren't there before. My fingers came up to the piercing in my nose. I gasped in shock. My complexion had become slightly darker than what it was before and my skin was soft and smooth as I ran my fingers over it. My oval face had become square and my cheekbones were more noticeable. That's when James cupped my cheek and stroked it softly with his thumb.

"It's you, I see it in your eyes. They're blue but I can still see it's you. But it doesn't feel like you, your skin doesn't feel like this and you're definitely taller than this. What happened?"

"I don't know, I was thinking about..." My voice fell silent.

"About them... Exodus." James finished for me.

"I was wondering how I'd hide, and then," I gestured to myself. "This happened!"

"Can you change back?" He asked gently. I shrugged and took a deep breath; I closed my eyes and thought about being me. Although I didn't feel anything, James' sound of surprise made me open my eyes, I turned to face the mirror and smiled when I saw myself, my real self.

"And for my next trick!" I tucked one leg behind the other and bowed.

 

"Come on, breakfast... Shit, breakfast!" James ran out the bathroom, I stood by the door watching him as he shuffled stuff in the pan on the cooker. I grabbed some clean clothes; I pulled on some leggings and a purple shirt that reached just above my knees and then I walked into the kitchen.

"Looks good. Smells good too!" I smiled up at James. He separated the contents of the pan onto two plates and passed me one.

"Enjoy!" He smiled.

"Oh I will!" I grinned. I groaned softly when I started eating.

"I'm glad you're eating properly now." James admitted shyly.

"I just had a thought, if Exodus are as bad as what I think, if they're as big of a threat as I think, shouldn't the Avengers get involved? Couldn't we get in touch with Captain America some how? Ask for help?"

James choked on his breakfast, he looked at me wide eyed, but how much that was from shock and how much was from choking I wasn't sure. He furiously shook his head 'no'.

“Katherine, there are people after me. If you brought them here, I’m at risk. Steve, he… he might find me. I’m not ready for that… not yet.”

“Then I’ll go alone! I’ll say that I’ve been living on the streets all this time! They won’t find out James! They won’t find you, I won’t let them” I tried to persuade him. James sat back and sighed.

“Lets wait. If they come for you again, you go to Steve. And… maybe it would be safer… for you to stay there, with him, with his friends. They can protect you better than I ever will.” He turned away from me, a sad look etched onto his face.

“I want to stay with you. I’ll get his help but I want to stay with you! You can’t make me leave! We have a deal!” I placed a hand on his cheek and made him look at me.

 

“Hey!” James called from the kitchen. We’d spoke for some time about what I’d do if Exodus came for me again, but I hoped my newfound ability would mean they wouldn’t. But in case they did I was to find Steve, and if the threat remained after, that I’d find a way to stay with him and his friends… well the Avengers. He made me promise that if that were to ever happen, that I wouldn’t come back, I’d leave for good. He held me while I cried at the idea of never seeing him, and the fear that was now constantly in my heart for if it ever came to that.

“What’s up?” I called back.

“Thought you were calling me Bucky today?” James prompted. I stood from the sofa and made my way to stand beside him at the kitchen sink. I felt a bit morose after our conversation.

“Wanna watch a film today? Maybe you could get some snacks from the shop?”

“Sounds good. I’ll head out in a bit.” He smiled at me. _How can he be happy after the conversation we just had?_ I felt a wave of anger rush through me. I sat down at the table and plucked the Psychology book from the shelves beside me and opened it up. I needed something to distract me. James stood by the door to the apartment; he was pulling a jacket onto his shoulders and slipped a glove onto his left hand.

“Want me to get anything specific?” James asked.

“A pad of paper?” I requested.

“Alright, I won’t be long.”

“Bucky!” He turned to me. “Be careful out there!”

“Course I will.” He closed the door behind him.

 

I placed my head on the table once the door closed behind him. My thoughts were a mess. _I’m growing close to him; I care about what happens to him. Fucking hell I’m falling for him. I can’t leave him; if Exodus find me and try to capture me I just can’t leave him to be alone! I’ll go to Steve and ask for help, but I can’t leave James forever!_ I let out a cry of frustration. _I promised him though. I promised I’d stay with Steve; he wants me to be safe. I know that James… Bucky… I know he cares about me and God it must’ve been so hard for him to say all that. He’s doing this all for my safety; he’ll be pissed if I break my promise._ I stood and wandered into the kitchen and began to make myself a coffee, needing something warm and filled with caffeine to ease myself. I leant against the kitchen counter and placed a spoon in my mouth, holding it with the tips of my fingers as I waited for the water to boil. Then I lost myself in my thoughts as I stood in the kitchen.

“Katherine?” A voice pulled me out of my reverie.

“Bucky?” I glanced up to see him walking toward me, a set of bags in his hands.

“Wanna help me out doll?” James spoke as he placed the bags on the kitchen counter.

“Uh yeah sure!” I kept the spoon in my mouth as I helped him pack away what he had bought. He wandered over to the table and gently placed a large writing pad beside my Psychology book. When I was packing away the last few items, James reached down and took the spoon from between my lips. After I stood up, James placed a steaming cup of coffee in my hands. I gave him a grateful smile and took a tentative sip, _just the way I like it!_ I reached up and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, one he reciprocated a moment later.

 

“Bucky, we gonna watch a movie or…?” I sat beside him, holding my tablet in my hands.

“Yeah. Go grab the blanket.” James then wandered into the kitchen and fetched bowls out of the cupboard. I stepped over to our makeshift bed and pulled the blanket away from the mattress. I stood in the middle of the apartment not knowing what to do. A few minutes passed and James dragged the table to sit in front of the sofa and placed the bowls on the surface. He dropped himself onto the sofa, laying across it and motioned for me to sit between his legs. I couldn’t calm down the blush that had covered my cheeks as I maneuvered myself to sit comfortably between James’ outstretched legs.

“You can lean back Katherine. I’m not going to bite.” He teased. I allowed myself to rest on James’ chest, his hands came to wrap around me, and he pulled the blanket from my grasp and moved it till it was wrapped under my arms.

“You pick the movie Bucky.” I insisted. Slowly he flicked through all the movies on the device, unable to settle on one.

“I don’t know! There’s just so _many!_ ”

“How about this one?” I said pointing to Jurassic Park. “It’s got dinosaurs in it. You should enjoy it, given you _are_ one of them!” I teased. James shook his head, letting out a small laugh.

 

James held the tablet as we watched the film, every so often he’d let go with one hand to reach over to the table beside us and grab a handful of popcorn or chocolate and whatever else he’d put in the bowls. I had complained about him making the tablet shake, so I was the one who had to feed him stuff from the bowls. After the film had finished James had placed the tablet on the table and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me tight against him. I turned in his grip and sprawled myself out over his chest, my fingers coming up to rub small circles on his chest. James pulled the blanket up to the base of my neck and tucked it in around the two of us.

“We should do that more often.” I quietly spoke, hoping not to disturb the calm that had settled between us.

“Mhm. We should.” James agreed. I placed a kiss on his chest and listened to his heartbeat as I fell asleep, a small smile on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love reading your lovely comments. Just dropping a note to say I've nearly finished writing :) So if I get it all finished today I may upload a few more chapters as a treat :D x


	17. Chapter 17

We spent a glorious month together and it only seemed to be getting better. I’d decided to continue calling him James, only using Bucky in the intimate moments we were together. We’d take lazy naps in the afternoon on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around us, or when it was too hot for the blanket, we’d tangle ourselves in each other’s limbs. We soothed each other through the nightmares, sometimes the ferocity of the nightmares led to us staying up from the early hours of the morning until the sun peeked through the newspaper-covered windows. Some afternoons were spent with James testing me on Psychology, other afternoons I tested him. We cooked more and more meals together, but there were the meals when one of us would take over and treat the other. Our nights were spent tangled up together, we’d kiss away each other’s pain and sorrow that came to the surface on the cold nights when memories and nightmares wouldn’t go away. Our intimacy never extended beyond heated kissing, despite my body crying out for his touch, he’d never go that far, and I accepted that he wasn’t ready. James had begun teaching me hand-to-hand combat, for if I ever needed it. There were plenty of days where I had to sit with a cold compress on some bruised and aching part of my body, but James was the one who had to sit with a cold compress one morning when I caught him in the eye with my fist. Slowly he eased me into going into the city, at first it was standing outside the apartment building, and then once I was comfortable it developed into a small walk around the building. Then James had insisted on me trying out my ability to change my appearance, that day we walked into the centre of the city. James walked me through a busy market, his hand constantly holding mine. We’d promised each other that we wouldn’t separate from one another, that we’d always stay by each other’s side.

 

Then during one trip into the city, there was a food festival being held, the city was filled with people, it was hard to move about. But James had insisted on taking me around the stalls, every so often he’d pull me to a particular one and buy different things. I’d kept myself hidden using my ability, incase anyone from Exodus was searching for me. James glanced down at my shorter frame, my extremely short black hair close to my head, and my eyes a soft blue. I smiled up at him, and he smiled at me. He wrapped an arm around me pulling me tight against him and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

“Oh! Look!” I almost squealed. I pulled James through the crowd until we stood in front of a stall covered in cupcakes and sweet pastries.

“Oh these look amazing! They look so good!” I was close to drooling. My eyes dragged across the different coloured cupcakes, some were brightly coloured and were decorated in fun ways, some had things sticking out from them while others had what looked like confetti covering their tops. Then there were the elegant looking ones; everything on the stall was making me sigh happily. I hadn’t noticed James exchanging words with the woman behind the stall, until he touched my arm, pulling my attention to him.

“Hm?”

“Which ones do you want doll?” James smiled, the light reaching his eyes. Carefully I picked out several cupcakes, which I wouldn’t be able to say no to. The woman filled one box then James picked out several cupcakes and pastries for himself which filled another two boxes. He laughed at something the woman said then looked down to me, his fingers reaching up to stroke my cheek, my eyes fluttered shut at his touch.

 

We walked away from the festival with way more food and treats than what I’d thought we would. James carried three boxes while I carried several bags; we glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

“Oh, wait I just need to go in here!” I tilted my head to a shop we were passing. “I won’t be long.”

“You’re not going in alone!” James’ voice was low with anger, not at me, but at the memory of what happened last time.

“Just stand outside okay? You can watch me from the door.”

James agreed, he stood by the door and I placed the bags I was carrying by his feet and entered the shop. I searched the isles until I found what I was looking for with a small sound of triumph. I quickly bought the small item and shoved it into my jacket pocket and exited the shop.

“You didn’t get anything?” James asked confused as I picked up the bags.

“Didn’t have what I want.” I lied. James and I enjoyed the quiet walk back to the apartment building, the sun was warm and there was a pleasant breeze. When we started walking up the stairwell of the apartment building, I decided to make James laugh. I walked a few steps above him and performed my own version of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Everywhere’. James was grinning like an idiot as I danced up and down the steps singing out with all my heart.

 

“I’ve seen them live y’know.” I enthused as James held the apartment door open with his foot. “It was a few years ago, but James, Fleetwood Mac live is just amazing! And the atmosphere, it’s indescribable!” I grinned as I placed some bags on the table and some on the kitchen counter. I changed back to being me and ran my fingers through my hair until it was fixed back into position. We’d used home techniques to strip the brunette coloring from my hair instead of bleaching it; my hair was a bit darker than what it was originally, but I got used to it. My hair had grown a lot, growing out of its style, instead of another trip to the hairdresser; I pushed the too long front fringe to the side and let it all grow out. James seemed happy to see me as I was before he’d intervened, he’d often stroke my hair if we were sat together or when it was time for bed, I had to admit, it was _really_ soft.

 

As we packed stuff away, I had ‘Summer of ‘69’ blaring from my tablet, it didn’t take long for me to sing along and play air guitar, James gave me a odd look, something between, ‘what the fuck are you doing’ and ‘that looks fun’. After the song had finished I couldn’t stop the laughter from wracking my body. James shook his head and smiled softly as he stacked the three boxes of cupcakes and pastries and pushed them so they sat beside the fridge.

“What you wanna do?” I asked, collapsing onto the sofa with an, ‘umpf’.

“Nap?” James replied.

“Now that’s something I can get down with!” I grinned. James joined me on the sofa and pulled me into his arms. I laid my head just below his right shoulder, my fingers danced over the metal plates of his left arm. I yawned, realizing how tired I was from walking around the city. I leaned up and kissed James softly, but when I tried to pull away, he brought his hand up and buried it into my hair at the back of my head and kept me against him. His lips moved over mine again and again, stealing my breath away. I sighed as he gently bit my bottom lip then coaxed my mouth open with his tongue as gentle as he could. He pushed his tongue into my mouth, brushing it slowly against my own. He tasted of sugar, obviously he’d eaten a cupcake at some point without my knowledge, and it made me groan in surprise and pleasure. I reluctantly pulled back, a trail of saliva connected our lips, and a hot blush coated my face. But I didn’t care. I lifted my hand and stroked the side of his face; he turned into my touch and sighed happily. But that’s when all the gentleness disappeared as he pulled me roughly to him, his kisses now desperate and urgent. A surprised sound escaped from my lips at his action.

 

James pulled himself away for a moment, allowing himself to calm down, I watched his eyes, and he was battling something deep inside of him. I pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead then his cheek then the tip of his nose, and then a gentle chaste kiss on his lips. I could feel the big smile of his face as I kissed him. I pulled away and settled myself on top of him, I felt his arms wrap around my frame, the tips of his fingers on one hand messed with the tips of my hair while his other hand was wrapped around the small of my back, ensuring I was staying close to him.

“I don’t deserve you Katherine.” James’ voice was barely above a whisper.

“You’re the only one on this planet that does, you’re the only one who matters to me.” I answered sleepily, I let out a small yawn and nuzzled myself against James’ chest and closed my eyes. I fell asleep happily to James’ voice speaking to me lovingly in a different language and his arms wrapped securely around me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as I post this, I can announce that I have finished writing. I almost cried at the end but you're going to have to wait. xx


	18. Chapter 18

James held me in his arms as we ate breakfast together, his warmth soothing the chill in the apartment. _I’m definitely falling in love with him… how can’t I?_ I curled up into him, earning a chuckle from him.

“Doll, I gotta shower.”

“Fine!” I grumbled and climbed off of him I stretched my achy muscles. As soon James had disappeared into the bathroom and I heard the shower start, I quickly got changed and ran over to my jacket, I retrieved what I had bought the day before and swiftly chose a cupcake from those which I chose from the food festival. I opened the packaging from the item I bought yesterday and looked down at the thin candle sitting in my hand. I placed the packet on the kitchen counter. I rolled the candle in my fingers, then I bit my lip before I turned on the cooker and used the flames to light it then turned the cooker off. I placed the candle into the top of the cupcake and walked out onto the balcony. I sat on the chair and carefully placed the cupcake on the wall of the balcony and sat there quietly. _Another year come and gone, and yet I couldn’t even in my wildest dreams come up with all the shit that’s happened to me in the last few months. But I’m glad it happened, I’m not the weak little girl I was. I wouldn’t have met James, wouldn’t have fallen in love with him._

“Katie?” A voice filled with curiosity.

“Shit!” I jumped up from the chair and faced James, my eyes wide. _I didn’t want him to see this; I didn’t want him to know._ He stood there in jogging bottoms, a towel slung around his neck; his damp hair clung to his face and neck.

 

“It’s your birthday?” He asked. I nodded gently. _I can’t lie to him._ He walked up to me, took the still lit cupcake in one hand and took my hand in the other and pulled me back inside the apartment. He placed the cupcake on the kitchen counter and held me close to him. I closed my eyes at the smell of his shower wash, sighing softly as it made a shiver run down my spine. _Why is men’s body wash always so damn nice?_ I thought, distracted for a moment.

“Make a wish doll.” James whispered in my ear gently. I closed my eyes and leaned over, I quickly blew out the candle. James’ cold metal fingers pressed against the bottom of my chin, making me face him. He placed his lips over mine, kissing me gently. As he pulled away he brushed his nose against my cheek lovingly. When he looked down at me after he had pulled away fully, he smiled brightly at me, matching the smile I had plastered on my face. I turned and grabbed another cupcake and passed it to James, he took it from me and we sat on the sofa eating them.

 

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me it’s your birthday?” James turned to face me, a slight sad look in his eyes.

“Didn’t want the fuss. I don’t think I’ve properly celebrated a birthday in… I don’t know… I don’t… I don’t have…” I pulled my knees to my chest; I was fighting the tears that wanted to fall.

“Katie!” James exclaimed. He lurched forward and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest.

“Katie, it’s alright.” He kept whispering to me that everything was all right. We sat like that for a while, my forehead resting in the crook of his neck, my arms wrapped around him, his lips pressing against my head every so often.

“I want to tell you, let me tell you.” I spoke quietly.

“Okay.” James’ voice was as quiet as mine.

“Haven’t you wondered why there’s no search party? Why I haven’t been kicking and screaming to go home?”  
“I noticed.” James admitted.

“I’m… I’m the only one left.” I whispered. I looked to James to see confusion settle on his face.

“My parents, they went on a trip when I was eleven… so eight… no nine years ago now. They…er… they were travelling home late at night, it was stupid they should’ve waited till morning. My dad… he… he fell asleep at the wheel, they went off the road and… crashed.” I fell quiet, trying to calm my breathing and stop the tears welling up in my eyes. James took my hand in his and squeezed it.

“You don’t… need to finish.”

“It took days for them to be found. No one saw them crash; no one could see that there _was_ a crash… so they were left trapped in the car for days.” I pushed myself into James’ chest, feeling the tears beginning to fall. _He can’t see me like this!_

“Katie that’s enough.”

“No!” I cried. “When they were found… they’d already passed: head and chest trauma. And all because my Dad fell asleep at the wheel… I lost everything.”

“Kate I’m sorry,” James’ voice was filled with sorrow. “You stayed with other family?”

“Haven’t got any. My parents, they were… older than most parents. There was no one left… so I got put in the care system. No one wanted me… so when I was old enough I bought myself an apartment and got on with my life.”

“You don’t have any friends who will be worried about you?”

“I shut people out after the accident. It was only in the last couple months before… _them_ … that I had started opening up. So no, I don’t have any friends looking for me.” I sighed heavily and placed my ear above James’ heart, hoping the steady beating would soothe me.

“Katherine, what do you want to do today?” James asked as he shook me gently to pull me from my reverie.

“Erm… I don’t know…”

“Is there anywhere you wanna go?” James pressed.

“Um… Isn’t there some kind of farmer’s market going off today?” I sat up and looked at James.

“Hm. Yeah think so,” He nodded thoughtfully. “You wanna go?”

“Don’t see why not, better than moping around here feeling sorry for myself.”

“Come on then, let’s go.”

 

We sat, side by side on the metro as we travelled across the city. I placed my head on his shoulder and relaxed, James’ arm was around me and his fingers ran shapes and words across the skin of my arms. As time passed we had started to play eye spy, but it ended pretty quickly. He kept his arm around me as we walked through the city toward the farmer’s market. It wasn’t nearly as busy as the food festival had been which was a nice surprise. But I noticed as we walked around that James was tenser than normal, and that his gaze tended to drift.

“Hey! Is everything okay?” I asked quietly, not wanting to startle him. His gaze snapped to me suddenly, his grip on me tightening. He let out a breath I didn’t realize he had held in.

“I’m okay.”

“No. You’re not. James if your paranoia is getting bad we should go home.” I placed myself in front of him and rubbed up and down his arms hoping it would calm the fragile state he was in.

“No.” He whispered. I wouldn’t have understood it if he hadn’t shook his head ‘no’.

“Okay, how about five, ten minutes tops here then we’ll go home?” I proposed to him. He merely nodded slowly in agreement.

 

James guided me over to a stall filled with fresh fruits. He brightened when he started talking animatedly with the man and woman running it. I stood there as a conversation in Romanian played out before me. James then gently picked through the crates of fruit, pulling out several and handing them over to the man or woman. After a few minutes James exchanged a large bag of fruit for money, I recognized the odd word or phrase, so as he gathered his change James thanked them both and guided me away. The ride home on the metro was quiet; James sat happily eating a piece of fruit and offered me a piece of fruit from time to time. I leant my head on his shoulder as I bit into a plum, sighing contently.

“Thank you.” James mumbled.

“For what?”

He didn’t answer but I didn’t push for one either.

 

“These steps are going to kill me!” I complained as we continued to climb the final stairs in the apartment building. I stood and changed my appearance back to being me and waited for James to climb the last few stairs.

“Highly doubt that.” James mused. He unlocked the apartment and let me in first; I took the bag of fruit from him as I passed.

“You’ve got some yoghurt in the fridge haven’t you?” I called as an idea struck me.

“I should do, unless you’ve had it.” He replied. I pulled two bowls from the cupboard and set them down on the counter. I took some of the fruit from the bag and found the glass chopping board and began cutting and peeling the fruits. James’ brow was furrowed as he dumped his jacket, his gloves were left on the makeshift shelves along with his baseball cap and he knelt on the sofa, his forearms resting on the kitchen island.

“What you doing?”

“Cutting up fruit. What does it look like?” I teased.

“I can see that doll, but what _for_?” He asked.

“You’ll see.”

I heard James huff and throw himself back so he was laid across the sofa. I’d glance over to see his fingers running through his hair. _No fair, that’s my job._ I then leant over and swatted his hands away; I received a shocked expression from James at my actions.

“My job.” I told him. He laughed at my statement.

 

“Move your legs Bucky.” I stepped over to the sofa, two bowls in hand. He moved to sit up properly allowing me room to sit beside him. I passed him a bowl and spoon and he grinned when he looked inside. He quickly pressed a kiss to my lips before he started eating. _God he’s such a dork. But I love him so damn much… I love him so much._ I gave a small smile and began picking through my bowl. I’d cut up a shit-load of fruit and thrown it into the two bowls; I put a small sprinkle of sugar on top and covered it with a large serving of yoghurt. I cuddled up to James and blushed a little each time he moaned happily.

“This is…” James’ sentence was cut off with him shoveling another spoonful of fruit and yoghurt into his mouth, a groan rumbling in his throat.

“Good?”

“Very good!” He enthused. “Here.” James held his spoon out to me.

“James I know what it tastes like, I have the same.” I pointed to my bowl.

“Humor me.” He held the spoon in front of my lips; slowly I opened my mouth and leaned forward to take the spoon into my mouth. I slowly pulled away taking the fruit and yoghurt with me. James’ eyes were glued to me the entire time, making a blush cover my cheeks. I closed my eyes and savored the taste of the sweet fruit.

 

“Can I kiss you?” James asked gently. I looked up from my bowl to look into his eyes; emotion I couldn’t quite pin down filled his stormy blue eyes. I didn’t get chance to finish nodding before James’ lips crashed against mine, his body pressing me against the sofa. I pulled back when the sound of crashing startled me; I looked down to see the bowls shattered on the floor.

“James… the bowls!”

“I don’t care.” His voice was deeper than usual, and then his lips fell over mine again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. This is the last chapter I'm posting for today.  
> 2\. When I do post the next chapter it will be explicit.


	19. Chapter 19

_“James… the bowls!”_

_“I don’t care.” His voice was deeper than usual, and then his lips fell over mine again._

~

 

James climbed on top of me, shielding my body with his; he leaned over using his left forearm as support as his right hand came to rest on my hip. My eyes fluttered shut at the contrast of his gentle massage of my hip with his thumb and his lips assaulting mine. His hair fell forward, the ends tickling my face, when I pulled away to gasp for air; I let out a small giggle.

“Sorry!” His brow furrowed. I pushed my fingers through his hair, pushing it back and kept running my fingers through it. _God it’s so soft!_ I almost whined at the feeling of it against my fingers. My other arm came up and wrapped around the rear of his neck, I pulled him back down to me; I met him halfway and kissed him hard. James shifted, his knee coming to rest in between my legs while his other leg gave support from the floor, and when he needed, used it to push off from when he made a particularly bruising kiss. _Don’t stop please don’t stop!_ I silently begged.

 

James’s right hand came up to cup the side of my neck as he kept kissing me. He slowly drew my bottom lip away and let it go with a slight pop. I stared up at him, his pupils had dilated massively and a small whine escaped my throat.

“Let me make you feel good.” He requested quietly as he brought his forehead to rest against mine.

“Bucky,” I moaned softly at the implication. “I- I’ve never been with… I’ve never had… I’m a…” I couldn’t speak properly, the haze James had put me in was intoxicating and I was desperate for more. He pulled back, piecing together what I had said and gathered my meaning.

“I-I… Katherine I won’t… I can’t…” James started to move away but I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to me.

“I want to… James… I really want to.” I whined.

“Are you sure Kate?” He whispered, his nose brushing against mine, as he got closer.

“Yes.” I replied in an equal whisper.

 

He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, then my nose, my cheeks and my lips before he moved down, kissing my jaw and then kissing my neck. The kisses were short and very light, they tickled my skin.

“I’ll take care of you. I’ll be gentle.” He promised, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I know you will.” I replied.

He trailed open-mouthed kisses up and down my neck, grazing against a spot that sent shivers through me but never quite directing kissing it. Each time he skimmed it a breathy groan escaped my lips, _he’s fucking playing with me! He knows exactly what he’s doing. The bastard!_ I silently cursed. The hand cupping my neck turned my head so he could get easier access to the side of my neck. James then shifted, bringing both legs onto the sofa and kneeling in front of me, I whined when he pulled away slightly to settle comfortably. His hands then roamed down the sides of my body, tickling me slightly and causing me to squirm, which made us both laugh.

“Y’know I can taste fruit on your lips?” James mentioned.

“That would make sense since we _were_ eating fruit.” I teased. His hands gripped my hips and he sat up, lifting me with him and moving me to straddle his lap. I put a hand over my mouth to muffle the groan when James laid me against the sofa again, and leaned over me, our bodies were so incredibly close and I could feel his growing arousal. He pulled my hand away and replaced his lips on mine, every so often they’d trail down to my neck and he’d press hard kisses against the spot that had me shivering with pleasure. Each time I shifted, it caused friction between us, and James moaned above me.

 

As his kisses became more heated, his teeth pulling at my bottom lip, his tongue coaxing my lips apart until he could slip in and claim dominance, my fingers clutched at the back of his shirt, my other hand was running through his hair, pushing it out of his face; but there were still strands that refused to sit back. He reluctantly pulled away when I needed to breathe, a trail of saliva joining us for a moment before it broke. His thumb came up and wiped away the saliva on my lip. Gently I started pulling his shirt up his back until he pulled away to remove it on his own, he dropped it onto the floor. My fingers danced across his stomach and chest then up to his shoulders. James just knelt there, watching me intently as I touched his body. _There are all these little scars… I never noticed before… they’re so tiny, like whatever caused it just grazed him._ I lifted my hands to the sides of his neck; I slowly stroked his skin with my thumb and let my hands trail to his shoulders. The chill of his metal arm sent a shiver through my body. I looked up into James’ eyes; his eyes were distant as he watched me, like he was deep in thought.

 

I sat up slightly pulling him back to the present; my hands shook slightly as I reached for the bottom of my top. James placed his hands on top of mine, calming me.

“Together?” He asked. I nodded. I gripped the bottom of my shirt, James hands resting over mine. James and I pulled my top over my head and dropped it. His hands came to rest on my bare hips, I hissed at the chill of his left hand; he mumbled an apology before trailing kisses from my lips, down my neck and over my collarbones. I sighed happily as his lips clung to the base of the side of my neck, sucking gently at my flesh, and then over my collarbones, _I’m going to have hickies there later, I just know it!_ James pushed his hand under me making me arch my back. His lips attached to the tops of my breasts, kissing softly and gently. I suddenly felt James’ fingers at my bra fastening, trying to separate the two pieces. I heard his growls of frustration when it refused to give which eventually led to him resting his forehead on my shoulder. His fast breaths from his frustration tickled my neck and made me laugh. I tapped his back twice getting him to sit up. I reached behind myself, arched my back and unclipped my bra and removed it.

“How do you make it look that easy?” James shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. I shrugged. My arms came up to cross across my chest, hiding myself from his scrutiny.

“Doll, you don’t need to hide yourself from me. You’re beautiful.” He spoke, getting closer and closer, his hand coming up to brush against my arms, encouraging me to pull them away _._ I smiled lovingly at the man above me. Slowly I removed my arms and pulled James until his bare chest was against mine. My hips bucked up at the long moan he let out after his chest met mine.

 

His right hand pushed my right leg away from his body slightly so he could slide his hand to my inner thigh; he rubbed small circles into the fabric of my trousers making me moan softly at the pressure.

“James! Wait! James, stop!” I cried out. He quickly shoved himself off me, standing suddenly, his eyes wide.

“Kathe-“

“Condom?” I simply asked, unable to say anything more as I tried to calm my heavy breathing. James disappeared into the bathroom and came back less than a minute later holding a square foil packet.

“Good!” I sighed in relief, _do I want to know why he even has condoms? Doesn’t matter, just glad he does_. James gave me the condom, telling me to keep hold of it and returned our bodies to the intimate position they were in before. He began kissing me, first placing a kiss on my lips then working down my body until he got to my chest. His hands came up to cup my breasts, gently massaging them, he made eye contact with me as he bent down and placed his mouth over one nipple, his tongue flicking over it gently. I cried out, my hips rolling into his which caused him to buck his hips into mine. His metal fingertips grazed over my other nipple, causing it to harden further. As his tongue laved around one nipple, then grazed his teeth over it, his finger tweaked my other nipple, pulling it gently eliciting a long moan from my lips. I felt myself becoming wetter and wetter by each passing second.

 

He then swapped, fixing his lips over my other nipple, licking and sucking it while his fingers tweaked and pulled the other.

“Bucky.” I whined.

“Need to make sure I don’t hurt you.” He spoke against my skin. My hands went down to my trousers, pulling at the button and zip until they were undone. James pulled away a little; his lips reattached to mine as he pushed down my trousers. I kicked them off letting out a noise of frustration at needing to have as little layers on as possible.

“Jeans.” I whined, tugging at the belt loops on James’ jeans.

“Not yet doll. Gotta make sure you’re wet.” He smirked.

“I’m pretty fucking sure I’m wet Bucky!” I cried out throwing my head back until I was watching the ceiling in frustration. I gasped suddenly when cold air hit my clothed sex, James tugged at my soaked panties until they too were discarded somewhere in the room. I bit my lip hard and curled my toes as James looked down at my most intimate area.

“Y’know Katie, you’re one beautiful dame.” He smiled down at me. He carefully leaned over and kissed my forehead but the action made the front of his jeans rub against my dripping sex making me moan.

“Please Bucky, touch me, _fuck_ me, just do _something_!” I whined, the heat building up in my abdomen starting to become uncomfortable. I received a low chuckle in reply.

 

Painfully slow James trailed a finger over my sex and then even slower he parted my folds with his fingers. I let out a slow moan. I watched as he bit his lip, he was trying to hold back a groan himself.

“Fuck, Katherine, you’re so damn _wet_. How did you get yourself in this state?” He teased, a smirk tugging at his lips and a bright light shone in his eyes. I hid my face behind my hands.

“T- thinking of you, w- what you’re about to do to me.” I admitted, trying my best to hide my embarrassment with my hands. A cold metal hand gently pulled my hands away, and lips pressed lovingly against mine.

“Good, I’d hate it if you were thinking of someone else,” He mused, trying to relive my embarrassment. “Tell me what you were thinking doll.” He added.

“Y- you touching me.” I admitted.

“Like this?”

I lay there and watched as his hand returned to my sex; he explored it gently with his warm fingers, spreading my arousal over my tender flesh and up to coat my bundle of nerves. I moaned loudly at his touch, my back arching from the sofa.

“James!” I cried out.

Carefully he brought his thumb up and brushed it over my clit. My hips involuntarily bucked, a shaky moan left my lips as he continued to play with my clit, rubbing his thumb directly over then swirling his thumb around it, grazing it ever so slightly. I was a moaning and writhing mess beneath his body. James shifted so his face was close to mine; he nuzzled my neck as his thumb continued its ministrations over my clit.

“I really want to kiss you… can I?” He asked.

“You…ah… you d-don’t need to ah… ask.” I spoke, trying to keep my moans from making my speech unintelligible. So James pressed his lips to mine once again, but unlike his other kisses, these were slow and gentle, caressing my lips rather than bruising them.

 

“I’m going to make you come now. That okay?” He questioned as he moved down my body, pressing kisses to my neck, my collarbone, my breasts, stomach and hips until he came to settle in between my thighs. Although I gave him an are-you-fucking-serious-that’s-a-stupid-question look, my thoughts were going crazy in my mind; _oh God if he’s about to do what I’m pretty sure he’s about to do, not only am I probably going to be a moaning wreck, but I’m probably going to pass out some way through it. My body is so fucking sensitive, and this fucker knows how to work it and tease it. He makes my body sing, and he loves it. I love it too; of course I do but-_ My thoughts stopped suddenly when James licked a stripe through my folds, flicking my clit as he pulled away. I watched wide-eyed as he swallowed.

“Damn. You taste so fucking good doll. I’m going to make you come so fucking hard.” He groaned. I screwed my eyes shut when his tongue moved over my sex again, a shock of pleasure running through my body. My hands moved down until they found his hair, I softly ran my fingers through it over and over again. But when his tongue made contact with my clit and when he then grazed his teeth over the sensitive nub my hands gripped at the sofa, I didn’t want to grip his hair, I didn’t want to hurt him. Then slowly his tongue ventured down until he reached my opening. As his tongue circled my opening, his cold metal finger pressed and rubbed my aching clit. I wriggled for a moment but James pinned me down using his other hand. The stimulation was causing a pressure to grow inside me, like a spring being pushed down and down and down.

 

My moans only grew louder when James switched. His mouth fell over my clit, his tongue flicked over it, pressing on it hard with the flat of his tongue. Meanwhile his metal fingers traced around my opening. He locked eyes with me, silently asking me whether he could. I nodded, biting my lip in preparation for the intrusion. My head fell back and I gripped the sofa moaning loudly as James slipped one cold metal finger inside of me, as he curled it inside of me stroking an extremely sensitive spot I bucked my hips. James chuckled against me, the vibrations running through my clit, causing a moan to be ripped from my throat. He dipped a second metal finger inside me and scissored them gently, stretching my opening, he curled the two fingers, the tips stroking my sensitive spot again and again as he repeated the motion. The pressure was building faster and faster.

“You’re close aren’t you doll? You want to come all over my fingers don’t you?” James’ voice was low. I let out a tortured moan, _why does he have such a dirty mouth!_ I silently cursed. I cried out when James started to pump his fingers inside of me, pushing them in then curling them to hit my spot then to withdraw them. The pressure was building; all I wanted to do was let go.

“B- Bucky… I’m… Oh God! I’m gonna-“

“Come for me doll.”

I let go, my toes curling tightly as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me. James continued to pump his fingers deep inside of me, his tongue assaulting my throbbing clit as he prolonged my orgasm. I cried out as my body shook with the remnants of pleasure. As I came down from my high, James’ tongue lapped up the juices from my orgasm, I tried wiggling away from James, his ministrations on my over-sensitive body causing discomfort.

 

“Fuck.” I groaned.

“I’m not done with you yet doll.” He spoke lowly, he leaned up and stroked my cheek; I sighed happily and turned to his touch.

“Mhm.” I replied weakly.

“Wanna pass me the condom?” He asked. I lifted my arm slowly, dropping the packet into James’ hand. He stood from the sofa, I watched intently as his muscles moved as he removed his jeans and boxers. I bit my lip as he freed his cock, I moved forward, sinking to my knees on the floor. James caught me by the chin and made me look at him, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“I want to make you feel good too!” I nearly cried out. James just shook his head ‘no’.

“This is all about you baby-doll. Your pleasure, not mine. Perhaps another time, but not right now.” He spoke gently and coaxed me to stand. He placed a hand on my neck and brought his head down to kiss me passionately. I groaned when I tasted myself on his tongue and lips. He then led me over to the bed and pushed me, I fell onto the mattress and looked up at him in anticipation. My gaze fell down to his cock, _oh God, is it going to fit inside me? It’s going to hurt._ I worried silently. He slipped the condom on and knelt between my thighs on the bed.

“You tell me if it hurts, I’m going to take it real slow, okay doll?” He gently stroked my wet thigh. I nodded slowly.

“Katie?” His brow furrowed in worry.

“Just… size…”

James laughed in reply, expecting a different response from me. He stroked my cheek lovingly and I let out a small laugh.

“You ready?” James asked. I nodded my head.

 

I watched as James nudged the head of his cock at my opening. I bit my lip waiting for the pain to come. I let out a small yelp when he pushed the head of my cock inside of me.

“Katie?” His voice edged with worry.

“I’m good. Just… slow… please!”

James pulled out a little before pushing in again, each time he pushed in his cock slipped deeper inside of me. I reached up and cupped his cheek; I saw the look on his face and wanted to reassure him. _He’s struggling to control himself; he wants to push in fully. But he’s doing this all for me._

“Bucky, it’s okay. I’m good.” I insisted. He watched my face as he slowly pushed his cock all the way in. I flinched for a moment and he stilled until the pain dissipated. He pulled out then pushed all the way in, I cried out in pleasure, I felt so full. My walls clenched around him, tearing a choked moan from James.

“Move!” I begged. James leaned over me, placing his left forearm beside my head for support; his right hand cupped my cheek. As he started to move slowly, he swallowed my constant moans as he kissed me again and again. _I love you!_ I kept thinking, but I was too scared to say to aloud. James’ hips snapped forward, driving his cock deep inside me.

“You gonna let me fuck you? Your tight dripping pussy. Let me fuck you hard and deep baby-girl.” James growled.

“Oh Bucky!” I moaned. _How is he allowed to talk like that!_ I wrapped my arms around James and with each deep thrust my nails dug into his back. My legs came up to wrap around his waist making his thrusts go deeper inside me, I cried out at the flood of pleasure, my walls clenching.

 

The wet sounds of James’ cock thrusting in and out of my sex aroused me further and caused me to moan more. I replied to James’ moans with my own when my walls clenched around him.

“Y- you’re such a good girl.” He praised me, his metal fingers tangling in my hair. His movements got faster; he drove deeper into me making my cries of pleasure louder and louder.

“You feel so _fucking good!_ ” James groaned next to my ear, the response was my walls squeezing his cock tight, making him moan loudly. His hand reached down between our joined bodies and started to rub my clit in small circles.

“You gonna come for me baby-girl? Gonna come around my cock, gonna squeeze it tight?” James whispered into my ear, his fingers on my clit moving more rapidly. My back arched as my orgasm washed over me and my walls clenched harder than they had before, I felt James’ cock throbbing inside of me. He had me nearly screaming in pleasure. James moaned and his body shook, his fingers burying in my hair as he finished inside of me, his hips stuttering for a moment but he kept thrusting wanting both our orgasms to be drawn out for as long as possible. His breathing was incredibly heavy and sweat coated the both of us. James leaned over me, too exhausted to move.

“Bucky, you’re _really_ fucking heavy. You’re squishing me.” I complained.

“Sorry.” James pulled out of me, causing a shudder to go through the both of us. I frowned at the empty feeling now he had left me. And I hated the feeling of vulnerability I had and how self-conscious I had become due to being naked. James had wandered over to the kitchen bin and peeled off the condom.

 

“Oh _fuck me_!”

“What’s up?”

“My shirt is covered in fruit and yoghurt.” James complained. I laughed in response and had to wipe a tear away as I saw the state of his shirt.

“Not funny Katherine.”

“It is though, isn’t it?” I joked. I pulled the blanket tight around me and settled on the bed. James and I had taken a shower after our… activity. He stood behind me and washed my hair and my body, in between my thighs, and then he was rubbing small circles into my scalp. His hands wandered to my shoulders and then my lower back, massaging the muscles there gently. And now James had insisted on me laying in bed while he cleaned up the mess in the chaos we made. Later we laid in bed, arms around one another and talked. The afternoon was drawing to a close and the sun was starting to float lower and lower in the sky.

“Katherine.”

“Yeah.”

“Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you… what we did…earlier… it was… it felt…” Words escaped me, _how do I describe how he made me feel?_ I felt my brow furrow as I searched for the words.

“Did you ah…was it alright? I didn’t hurt you did I?” James’ voice was edged with worry.

“A little at first, but I heard that always happens.” James fell quiet; his fingertips stroking my cheek, making my eyes flutter shut.

“Bucky?”

“Yes.”

“I’m glad I- I er… I’m glad my first time was with you. You’ve made this the best birthday I’ve had in years.” I kissed his lips then his forehead and settled next to his body.

“It’s not over yet, we can still do something.”

“James,” A sly smile fell over my lips, “Have you ever played a game called, Never have I ever?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two exams down, three to go then I'm free (almost) for the summer before I (hopefully) go to university.
> 
> I thought I'd tell you guys if you're interested that I'm working on a Clint Barton x OC. Because if I'm not total trash for Bucky, then I'm total trash for Clint.


	20. Chapter 20

_We should have never played that stupid fucking game; we should have just stayed at the apartment. None of this would’ve happened if we had just stayed in the fucking apartment!_ My sobs wracked my body making me shudder violently.

“Miss?”

 

~

 

“Okay, never have I ever…got shit faced drunk!” I exclaimed.

“Damn…” James tipped another shot back. “It was like one…two…four… it was like a few times alright!” James cried out. I laughed and filled his glass up again.

“Never have I ever…moved in with a stranger.”

“Oh, come on you’re playing dirty now!” I glared at him as I took my shot and hissed as it burned the back of my throat.

“Never have I ever… gone dancing.” I shyly admitted.

“Well one, you’re playing dirty,” James downed his shot. “And two, go get dressed!” James grinned.

“What! Why?” I cried out.

“There’s a place about… fifth-teen minutes walk away… I-it’s a nice place.”

“Wait, you’re taking me dancing?” I quickly stood.

“Course I am, can’t have my best girl not having been dancing before.” James stood and grabbed a set of clean clothes before he disappeared into the bathroom without another word. I quickly looked through the clothes I had and picked out some black skinny jeans and a red loose fitting top, which came to my mid thighs. I found some hair ties and quickly pulled my hair up into a ponytail.

“Wow!”

I turned to see James leaning on the doorframe to the bathroom. He was dressed in jeans and a long sleeved shirt; the top two buttons were open.

“Wow to you too.” I grinned. I walked over to him and embraced him tightly and kissed him passionately. James’ smile faulted a bit when I changed my appearance, nothing dramatic, but it was just enough not to be recognized. Or at least I hoped so.

“Can I try something?” I asked quietly.

“Of course.”

I gently placed my fingers on James’ temple. I closed my eyes and focused, I went through his mind and avoided the area where the block was, it still threatened to kick me out of his mind so I got out of there as quick as I could.

“Katherine, what did you do?”

“If I did what I hope I did. I should’ve changed your perception. You see me right? And by me I mean _me_?”

“Yeah, so everyone else sees you like I did before, but I see the real you?”

“Basically. Yeah.” I smiled. James pulled me close and kissed the top of my head. His smile was so much brighter.

 

James pulled me along the street as we made our way to ‘a place’ as he had been ever so kind not to elaborate. He was smiling and his eyes were bright and filled with happiness. All I could think about was how much I loved him.

“Here we are!” James smiled at me.

“This is nice!”

James pulled me inside, the place was packed full of people and the music was almost deafening. He took me to the bar and we stood and drank for a while, we talked and exchanged kisses for some time until it had quieted down. James pulled me close to his side as some men, a bit too drunk for their own good, got a bit close and looked me up and down like a slab of meat. James got especially over protective when one man stared at me for a considerable amount of time, enough for it to border on creepy. When Jonas Blue and Dakota’s ‘Fast Car’ came over the speaker, James dragged me into the crowd of people and pulled me against him.

“I don’t know how to dance!” I shouted. James placed his hands on my hips and started swaying to the music.

“Follow the beat. Feel the music.” James yelled back. At first my movements were a little stiff and wrong but as the song went on I started to move more fluidly. James started to move behind me, moving his body in time with mine, he span me around to face him. We were grinning like idiots. I started to dance without James’ help but he still twirled me into him then spun me out again.

“This ain’t the forties!” I teased.

 

After the song had died down and changed, James and I found somewhere to sit and drink for a while. I could tell all the alcohol was starting to affect me, certain things were becoming hazy and I had stumbled more than once when I had gone with James to the bar. We watched everyone dance to the music while we stood; James’ arm wrapped around my waist, keeping me close to him, my head on his shoulder. My eyes lit up when ‘Cheap Thrills’ came from the speakers and filled the room. I turned to James and pulled him into the dancing crowds my hips and shoulders swaying to the music. James was grinning at me, his eyes bright and filled with joy. I didn’t need his support this time as I danced opposite him; I sang the song to him as I danced. I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around the back of his neck, his hands settled on my hips and we danced to the music. I span around and put James’ hands on my hips as they moved side to side; t _alk about hips don’t lie_! My thoughts were starting to not make much sense, but I was having too much fun to realize. As the song finished I wrapped my arms around James and hugged him tightly. He ushered me to a table away from the dance floor, he fetched me a cold drink, but I made the mistake of drinking it too fast. A few minutes passed and I started to feel a bit rough.

“I’m going to get some air okay?” I pointed to the exit. James followed me out into the night air. He wrapped an arm around me as I stumbled a lot more now.

“Here. Take a minute.” James made me lean against a wall. I took a few deep breaths and tried to relax. I put my palm to my forehead I was burning up.

“Can we go home?” I asked timidly.

“Sure.” James wrapped his arm around me and helped me walk.

 

“Katherine. We’re being followed.” James whispered in my ear.

“Followed?”

“Yeah… come on.” James helped me walk down a back street. The fear that was creeping in put me on edge, I was extremely tense. I told James I could walk on my own, the adrenaline flowing through my system countered the effects of the alcohol. But he had insisted on helping me walk, if Exodus had found me, tricking them into thinking I can’t run might be our only advantage. Then we heard a storm of footsteps. My head snapped to James, my eyes as wide in fear. We turned to see a large group of armed men running toward us.

“Run!” James shouted. He gripped my hand and started running, I only managed to keep up with him as we tried to escape the back street. Suddenly a van shut off the exit to the alley, but we kept running toward it.

“What are you doing?” I screamed. James let go of my hand, as we got closer to the van, he ran faster and kicked the vehicle, it tipped onto its side and slid across the road.

“Come on!” James yelled, holding his hand out for me. I took it and we kept running. A chilling screeching sound echoed in the night air, James looked over his shoulder to see what the hell was the source, I already knew.

“Run!” I screamed. The screeching came closer and the next minute I was tackled to the ground, sharp claws tore into my skin. The next second it was ripped from me, I looked around to see James grappling with the creature, it tore at him, his metal arm glinting through the rips in his clothes. My brow furrowed when James’ stance and body language changed completely, then he snapped the creatures neck violently. I shook as he strode over to me; his eyes were dead and void, _Oh no! Oh fuck! James!_ His hand reached for me and I closed my eyes.

“Get up.”

I opened my eyes to see his hand extended to me; I gingerly took it and was pulled to my feet. We started running again, I kept glancing over to James, but I couldn’t call him that, not at the minute, the man beside me wasn’t James.

 

I peered over when I heard the rip of fabric and suddenly his left sleeve was gone and discarded.

“Down here.”

I was guided into an alley, which narrowed, making it a funnel. James let go of my hand and stopped running altogether. He stood in the middle of the alleyway staring at where _they_ would come from.

“Go.”

“No.”

He turned to me, strode over, and then he gripped my shoulders. He started speaking Russian really fast; I pulled back, confusion and fear falling over me.

“Go. Now.” He ordered. He returned to where he was stood a moment before. I stood there not moving, I watched as his stance stayed the same but his body language changed completely. When shouts started to echo down the alley James turned to me, a sad smile on his face.

“Go. Katherine. Go to Steve. Find him.”

“I’m not leaving you behind!” I shouted at him, anger radiating off me.

“Katie please, you promised.” He begged.

I glanced over his shoulders as guns were raised and aimed at James. I quickly thrust my hand out and pushed James, when my hand made contact with him I thought of his apartment and then he disappeared, blue smoke faded away in the alleyway where he had just been stood. I turned and started running; I closed my eyes and thought about Steve Rogers. Captain America. I heard something being launched just as the weightlessness fell over me, I felt something starting to wrap around me neck.

 

I opened my eyes to see several pairs of eyes looking at me with surprise, I lifted my hand to my nose when I felt something dripping from it, I pulled it away and saw blood covering my fingers. I was confused when I spluttered and blood sprayed across my clothes and the floor, but I didn’t have enough time to process anything before I collapsed to the floor as electricity jolted through my body.

“Get that thing off her!” A voice commanded. Everything went black.

 

I opened my eyes; I peered around and saw I was attached to several monitors and drips. I panicked and started ripping everything out of me, the monitors started screaming, I quickly pushed them over and they crashed to the floor, their noise dying with them. I was dressed in some sort of gown this was painfully all too familiar. _Exodus they have me. I didn’t get to Steve!_ I started to pace around the room, fear and anger running through my veins. I was dripping blood on the floor from where I had ripped equipment out of my body. I sat in the corner of the room, the furthest away from the door. I started to cry, I had lost James forever. I’d never see him again. _I should’ve told him how I felt! I should’ve told him that I love him!_ I pulled my knees to my chest. _We should have never played that stupid fucking game; we should have just stayed at the apartment. None of this would’ve happened if we had just stayed in the fucking apartment!_ My sobs wracked my body making me shudder violently.

“Miss?”

My head snapped up, a man had crouched a few feet from me; his blue eyes were calm and welcoming, immediately relaxing my tense body.

“Y- you’re…”

“Yes. I am.”

“Please, help me. It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you everything. I just need your help.” I pleaded as I stood and walked to him.

“The doctor will look you over, then we’ll talk.”

“Cap-“

“Steve. Just call me Steve.”

I smiled sadly in response. I watched as he left, he threw a small smile over his shoulder; I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding in.


	21. Chapter 21

I grimaced as I looked in the mirror attached to the wall; I tiled my head from side to side and placed my fingers along my neck. _Yikes! What the fuck happened to me?_ I probed at the fading purple bruises surrounding my neck. More shockingly, I had found out from a nurse that I had been unconscious for several days. Shortly after Steve had left, a doctor and a couple of nurses had come in, they checked me over and found no long lasting issues, I’d have to take some medication for a day or two but other than that I had a clean bill of health. I was given clothes and escorted to where I stood now. I wasn’t waiting long before Steve walked towards me.

“How’re you feeling?”

“Better, a bit rough but better.” I admitted.

“Follow me.” He stated plainly. We eventually found our way outside; I peered around the open area and sighed with content. _Maybe I’ll be okay._

“So,” Steve started, he walked beside me, his hands shoved into his pockets. “You wanna tell me who you are, and why you’re here?”

“My names Katherine. I… I was hoping that maybe you could help me.” I spoke quietly.

“Clearly you’re enhanced, gave us quite a shock appearing out of nowhere.” Steve mused.

“The people who made me…enhanced as you call it, I’m one of their experiments that went right.”

As we walked aimlessly outside, Steve listened intently to my recount of my past. He didn’t speak, just listened. Of course I had to omit everything to do with James and make up some bullshit, James wasn’t ready to meet Steve, not yet. I sighed sadly, _Bucky… what the hell happened last night? What happened to you? I hope that I did send him home and that he isn’t stranded in the middle of God knows where. I need to see him; I need to find a way to let him know I’m safe._

“You okay there?”

“Yeah, just… I’m tired of running and hiding. I was hoping… that maybe the Avengers might be able to help… these people… they’re dangerous Steve.”

“We’ll look into it.” He promised.

 

Steve led me through the compound, we walked in silence, which was incredibly awkward, he stopped me in front of a door, held it open for me and ushered me inside.

“Please, stay in here for now. I’ll fetch you later.”

“So this is what? A swanky prison cell?”

Steve looked to the floor before meeting my eyes.

“I get it, I appear out of nowhere, spouting this stuff that could be true, could be a lie. You want to cover all your bases. Just… you will come back?” I dug my nails into the palms of my hand, I feared being locked in there permanently. Steve nodded as he closed the door behind him. I heard it lock with a click. I peered around the room and started to explore. It was big, I’ll give them that, it was sort of like a self contained flat, minus the kitchen. With the thought of the kitchen and more specifically food, my stomach groaned unceremoniously. I rested on the black sofa that sat in the corner of the room and watched the clock on the wall tick by. An hour passed and no one came. My hunger was starting to make me agitated. I strode to the door and tried the handle. _Definitely locked._ I banged my fists against the wood. Nothing. I placed my head against the door and groaned, my stomach groaned a second after. I brought my fist up to hit the door again but no contact came, and I lost my balance. I looked up quickly to see half my forearm missing; the area around where my arm met the door was faded. I pulled my arm back and stared at it. I wiggled my fingers and smirked. Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes and walked.

 

Cracking an eye open I looked around me, I jumped up and down in celebration as my gaze was met with a corridor rather than a room. _Time to see if this place has a kitchen, and food!_ My stomach celebrated at the promise of food with a long loud gurgle. I sneaked around the compound; I’d peer around corners and around doors in hope of seeing _something_ that resembled a kitchen. I had no luck. I walked up a set of stairs and managed three or four steps before I heard voices; I pressed myself against the wall.

“You said so yourself that they captured her. What’s to say this isn’t just a ruse.” A female voice argued.

“So why did they put that collar on her?” A male voice, Steve, replied calmly.

“I’ve never heard of this… what was is it called again?” A new male voice joined in.

“Exodus.”

“Never heard of them.” The voice replied. My face fell, _they aren’t going to help, if anything they’re going to lock me up._ I started to walk away, _I’m not going to stick around if that’s the case, but where will I go?_

“You know, I could always look in her mind.” An accented female voice added.

“Captain Rogers, excuse me a moment.” A new voice spoke. I tensed and shuffled my way toward the stairs. I screamed when a figure fazed through the wall and stood in front of me. I then heard the commotion of several people running toward me. _Great… fucking great I’m done for._ I’m pretty sure I must’ve looked like a deer in headlights as Steve and several of the Avengers stood there looking at me. Steve sighed and motioned toward me.

“Everyone, Katherine. Katherine, everyone.”

“And you aren’t asking why she’s snooping around?”

“I’m not snooping!” I cried out suddenly.

“Katherine, what were you doing?” Steve walked to me and guided me into the room everyone had just come from. I glanced behind me to see everyone filing in after us.

 

“I was looking for the kitchen.” I spoke quietly, my cheeks growing warm from the stares I was receiving and the fact the room we now stood in coincidently turned out to be a kitchen and dining area.

“The kitchen?” I glanced up to see the man known as the Falcon giving me an amused look.

“I got hungry.”

A few chuckles filled the room; the tense atmosphere was starting to wane away.

“I- if you want to look in my head to see if I’m telling the truth you’re welcome to. If it means you at least believe me… it’s a start.”

I watched as everyone shared a look, a brunette stepped forward and offered me her hand; she smiled softly at me, encouraging me and settling my fears. I prepared my mind, hiding away everything to do with James, and then gingerly I took her hand and closed my eyes. I felt a pressure in my mind and fought against the urge to push it out. Then suddenly it was gone and the young woman in front of me looked horrified, tears filled her eyes.

“I am _so_ sorry.” She placed a hand over her mouth and gently nodded to the people around her. Abruptly an arm was slung around my shoulders and I was ushered toward the kitchen area.

 

“So, your name’s Katherine?”

“Yeah.”

“Sam. Sam Wilson.” The man smiled at me. He started rooting through the cupboards and draws, pulling out random things. I stood there awkwardly as he kept picking through the cupboards and then the fridge, he lined up jars and packets along the counter. He motioned for me to stand beside me.

“I’m hungry, you’re hungry,” At that statement my stomach growled, an embarrassed laugh made it’s way past my lips as Sam chuckled amused. “So, I’m thinking,” He pointed to each finger as he spoke. “Sandwiches, and I’m talking about big fat sandwiches that you can hardly fit your _mouth_ around. And I’m not just on about one, I’m talking ‘bout seeing how many we can eat before passing out.” I burst out laughing at Sam’s words.

“Sounds good to me. God knows I’m starving!”

“Wait!” Sam spoke. “Whoever finishes their sandwiches first wins.”

“Wins what?” I questioned.

“No idea. But it’ll be good!” Sam grinned.

“Okay, you’re on!”

“Hey, cap! You wanna judge this one?”

_This one? Is this a regular thing?_

“Go on. Bet she beats you.” Steve smirked.

“Wanna put your money where your mouth is?”

“Twenty on Katherine.”

 

“Come on dude, how was I supposed to know?” Sam whined around a mouthful of food.

“You made the bet Sam. Cough up.” Steve smiled.

“Gambling? Didn’t think it was good for old men to gamble. Don’t want to give yourself a heart attack do you?”

I glanced up from my sandwich to see Tony Stark join the conversation, a smirk playing across his lips.

“Come off it Stark.” Steve threw back. Tony then caught my gaze, his brow furrowing slightly.

“Got a question for you kid.”

“Shoot?”

“How’d ya get out of your room?”

“Ah. That.” I looked down at the plate and swallowed hard.

“Katherine.” Steve pressed.

“I might have been banging on the door and my arm may or may or not have fazed through it? Which freaked me out because… it’s never happened before.” My pitch increasing as I kept on speaking.

“What else can you do?” Sam asked as he took another bite of his sandwich. I sighed and suddenly I was behind Steve and Tony, I chuckled when they startled as they turned to see where Sam was looking with amusement. I then went back to my seat.

“You always…poof…blue whatever that stuff is?” Tony asked.

“Yup.”

“Very scientific Tony.” Steve teased.

“Anything else?” Sam questioned. I closed my eyes and tilted my head to the side and took a bite of the sandwich Sam was holding out to me. When I opened my eyes again withdrawing from Sam’s mind, he gave me a look of shock and hurt.

“You ate my sandwich!”

“So… you can control people?”

“I can get in their heads, see what they see, make them do things. But I don’t like using it,” I wiped away the spot of blood that ran over my lip as I spoke. “Because this crap happens.”

“I can do something else,” I stepped away from the barstool. “But you’re probably best off swallowing.” I pointed out to Sam. Once he nodded to say he was good, I allowed myself to change. I glanced down at myself, there were complex tattoos spiraling up both my arms. I picked at the ends of my hair to see it was an electric blue.

“Wow!” Sam cut the silence.

“Sometimes I can control it, other times, like this one, not so much.” As I walked back over I changed myself back and sat down.

“Katherine,” Tony started. “Do you have anywhere to stay?”

“Ah… no… I was hoping that I could stay here.”

“How ‘bout the room you were in? Or would you like something bigger?” He asked.

“The room I was in is more than fine.” I smiled at Tony.

 

It was close to midnight when I wished Steve goodnight as I entered my room. _I have a room, everything has gone the way we wanted it…we… Bucky…_ Guilt washed over me, I hadn’t even thought about him in hours. I shut the door, locked it and leaned against it. A moment passed and I slid down the wood. _You could’ve fucked up and sent him anywhere but the apartment! And you’re here joking around and haven’t even thought about checking up on him._ I internally yelled at myself. I stood and grabbed a glass from a small table which was pushed into the corner of the room close to the door, a coffee machine adorned the top of it, along with a couple of glasses and mugs. As I wandered around the room trying to find where the bathroom was the anger directed at myself made my grip tighten. The shattering of glass startled me. I glanced down to see shards of glass littering the floor, confusion washed over me, I peered at my hand to see large pieces of glass digging into my palm, then I realized what I had done. Anger ran through me and I gripped the glass shards in my hand tighter. I felt heat radiate through my palm, and I clenched my hands tighter, the heat only increased. When the heat disappeared and the pain started to take over I opened my hand. The shards of glass were gone, instead in the middle of my palm sat a single piece of smooth glass, which was in a knot. I watched as something red flowed inside it until it settled making it look like a streak of red glass was running through it.

“What the?” I then noticed a little space within the knot. I quickly looked around the room and saw a small metal paperweight on a desk. I took it in my bloodied hands and focused on it, I manipulated the metal, and I changed its shape. Looking down at the chain I just made, I threaded it through the space and fastened it. As I grazed my finger over the glass I felt some kind of energy emanating from it. An idea struck me.

 

I held onto the knotted glass and metal chain, my eyes fluttered shut and I focused. Weightlessness washed over me and then it disappeared. It was silent. I glanced around and saw a figure sat, a book in their hand and a pad of paper next to them, covered in notes. I turned my head and noticed something jammed into the wall, as though it had been thrown with a great deal of force.

“Not sure whether I should feel sorry for the wall, or for whatever it used to be that’s _in_ the wall.” I teased.

“Katie!” A startled voice cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thought I would give you an update or two before I disappear for the next few days. I have an exam both tomorrow and the day after and won't be able to update.
> 
> If any of you are taking any exams I'd love to hear how they are going/gone. And I wish you good luck. (Can't remember if I've already said that)


	22. Chapter 22

“You’re safe!” Tears fell down my cheeks as I rushed to James and embraced him tightly. His arms wrapped around me even tighter, his left arm whirring with the strength he was using. He pulled me back and held me at arms length.

“Katie.” His eyes were glassy with tears. His right hand came up and cupped the side of my neck gently, his thumb gently rubbing over the slight bruises that were still on my neck. Swiftly he crashed his lips against mine, pressing hard bruising kisses against mine. They were urgent and desperate; I kissed back with as much urgency as my fingers found their way into his hair. When he pulled back we were both breathless, I rested my forehead in the crook of his neck and sighed happily.

“Katherine, what are you doing here? You promised you wouldn’t come back!” He started to shout, anger seeping into his voice.

“I know… I know!” I started, tears starting to fall due to his raised voice. “I didn’t… I didn’t know if you made… if you made it home. I- I needed to know Bucky! A- And I needed you to know I was safe!” I cupped his face with one hand and made him look at me.

“You promised me Katherine, that you wouldn’t come back.” His voice was quieter now.

“I- I thought you’d be happy to see me, to know that I’m safe. Not yell at me for making sure that _you’re_ safe especially after what happened that night!” I started to pull away, my own voice becoming raised. I gripped the glass in my hand, reminding myself of one of the reasons I was here.

 

“Damn it Katherine! I love you; I need to keep you safe! If that means me being out of the picture entirely so be it! But I _need_ you to be safe, out of _their_ reach. That’s why I told you, made you _promise_ that you’d go to Steve and stay there!” James shouted. My eyes widened when he said those three little words. Those three words that were so simple but made my heart skip a beat.

“Y- you love me?”

“I- I… yes… I love you Katie.”

I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck; I pushed myself up onto my tiptoes and kissed his forehead.

“I love you too. I have for such a _long_ time. But I was scared you didn’t feel the same.”

I pulled back to look him in the eye. I smiled brightly in response to his smile. Then suddenly the happy look on his face that caused the corner of his eyes to crinkle fell.

“Katherine. You have to go. We can’t… I can’t…”

“I know, which is one of the reasons why I came here.” I then revealed the knotted glass and chain that I had constructed.

“Katherine! Your hands!” James took my injured hands in his. “What did you do?”

“That’s where this comes into it.” I gently fastened the necklace around James’ neck. His fingers came down and brushed over the smooth glass.

“What happened?”

“I was angry and I was holding a glass, it kind of… smashed. And then there was this heat and then I was holding _that_. And… this is going to sound mega creepy… but I think that’s my blood in there.”

James picked up the knotted glass and let his eyes dance over it.

“It’s pretty. The blood thing is… freaky. Katherine,” He grabbed my attention. “I can feel… something, when I touch it, it’s like a wave of… I don’t know… flowing from it.”

“I noticed that when I was touching it. Like it was giving off some kind of energy or something. I want to test a crazy theory I have.”

“Alright.”

“Hold onto it, and think of me.” I spoke softly. I watched as James gently held the knotted glass and closed his eyes. My eyes fluttered shut as I felt something press against my mind, slowly breaking through. James gasped suddenly and let go, the feeling in my mind disappearing instantly.

“I think I know a way we can keep in touch, or at least know or feel how the other is.”

“But… you don’t have one.” James scowled.

“Which is why… do you mind having one less glass object?”

 

James wandered into the kitchen and took a glass from a cupboard.

“Now what?” He asked. I made him hold the glass in his right hand and gently wrapped my hands around his.

“Break the glass.”

I flinched when I heard the glass shatter in his grip, and the grunt of pain as it cut into his palm. I closed my eyes and focused, I felt a sudden heat, and James gasped at the feeling. I stepped closer to him and kissed him, putting in all the love and care I felt for him. His left hand gripped the back of me head as he responded to my kiss, his fingers gripping the glass tighter. As the heat died down in my hands I pulled James’ fingers away from the glass. There, sat in his palm was a similar smooth piece of glass to the one around his neck, but unlike the knotted piece of glass I had gifted him, the one in his hand was different. Where mine was knotted, James’ looked like two separate pieces of glass forming a ‘V’ but where each end finished at the top of the ‘V’, it curled under and created a loop to fit a chain through and where the two separate pieces of glass joined, they spiraled around each other, overall it created a twisted ‘V’. But still, I watched as red seemed to float and move within the glass before it settled, making the glass look striped. I reached out and let my fingers slowly graze over it, I felt a strong energy run into my fingertips. James placed it carefully in my hands. He walked over to the makeshift shelves and rummaged through a bag.

“You’ve kept my stuff.”

“Course I have.” James spoke as he continued to search.

“What are you-?“

“Found it!” He smiled. He came back to me holding a necklace of mine; he unfastened it and pulled off the charm. He gently picked up the glass from my hand and threaded the dark green round braided leather cord through the two holes. He moved behind me and carefully fastened the necklace around my neck. After, he pulled me to the bathroom and sat me down, he withdrew a pair of tweezers from the cupboard above the sink and slowly removed the tiny bits of glass embedded in my palm and then cleaned the blood away, I took the tweezers from him and did the same to his palm. James gently brought my palm to his lips and kissed across the cuts as they closed and healed in front of him.

 

James and I embraced for a long time, sharing soft and gentle kisses, our fingers brushing over each other’s faces and bodies, committing everything to memory. We were unsure of when we’d meet again.

“Keep Steve safe. He can be reckless.” James kissed my temple.

“ _Me_ keep _Steve_ safe? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” I teased.

“I’m completely in love with you.” James declared.

“I keep falling in love with you, I don’t think I’ll stop either!” I grinned. James laughed and pressed his lips against mine, his grip on me tightening.

“Go. To your new home.”

I took a step away from James and smiled sadly, I peered around the apartment thinking of everything that had happened here.

“This will _always_ be my home. I’ll see you again someday James Buchanan Barnes.”

I closed my eyes and felt a kiss pressed against my forehead. I felt the tears fall as I focused on my new room, my new home. The weightless feeling came and went, and I found myself thousands of miles away from the man I love.

 

There was a moment of quiet until I started to sob. I wandered over to the sofa and collapsed onto it crying. I held a cushion to my chest as I tried to get rid of the empty space inside of me left from the uncertainty of being with James again. I felt warmth spread across my chest, I looked down to see a gentle red glow emanating from the glass necklace, and slowly I wrapped my hand around it and closed my eyes. It was as though he was beside me, hushing me and caressing me, maybe that’s what he was sending through the connection, and maybe he could feel my sadness through the connection, I didn’t know. I whispered ‘thank you’ and relaxed. It wasn’t long before I fell asleep, my dreams pleasant, but I knew that soon the nightmares would return, and this time, I wouldn’t have anyone to soothe me.

 

The sunlight pouring in through the window made me groan in frustration as it woke me. I squinted as I looked to the clock, _ten am…better get up_. I stretched my arms above my head and yawned as I wandered around the room trying to find the door which lead to the bathroom. As I passed a coffee table I noticed a set of clothes set neatly on top. _Someone came in… I never heard anyone?_ I shrugged and opened a door and found the bedroom, I gasped at the view from the floor to ceiling windows. I sat on the bottom edge of the bed and looked out the window and sighed happily at the open expanses of green and bright blue sky. _Still not the bloody bathroom!_ I silently cursed, starting to get frustrated. I left the bedroom and went through the last door I hadn’t opened. My eyes went wide at the shower in the corner; I quickly stepped over to it, pulled back the frosted glass door and peered in. Against one wall was a curved lounge, on the adjacent wall just beside the lounge was a was a shower head protruding from the tiles, but closer to the lounge a little lower down than the shower head was another shower head attached to a shower hose and clipped to the wall.

“I gotta get a shower in this thing!” I spoke to myself in awe.

 

After I had got myself washed the best I could without any toiletries, I pulled on the clothes that had been placed on the coffee table. I stood in the bathroom mirror running my fingers through my hair as a makeshift hairbrush; I prayed that it wouldn’t look too much like a birds nest. I took time to admire the long sleeved purple dress I had been given, it was a little tight in places but other than that it was fine. I gently grazed my fingers across the glass necklace around my neck, smiling fondly at it.

“Right, breakfast time!” I cheered. I exited my room and tried to remember the way to the kitchen. _I hope that everyone is doing their own thing._ I wanted to eat alone, I wasn’t ready to eat with the others, they were close friends, and I was the outsider. I exhaled when I finally found the kitchen; I peered around the corner and saw it was empty.

“Thank god!” I relaxed slightly. I strolled past the dining table and into the kitchen. _I don’t know where anything is!_ I stared at the vast number of cupboards in contemplation.

“Top cupboard third on your left, bottom cupboard behind you, the draw in front of you and of course the fridge is quite obviously over there.”

I turned startled by the sudden voice behind me. Steve was leaning one of the kitchen islands watching me intently. I looked him up and down, he had a towel resting on his shoulders, and his hair was damp and clung to his forehead. _He must’ve just been working out._ I looked in the cupboards he mentioned and found what I was going to look for.

“Could you pass me a glass?”

I reached into a cupboard and brought down what he asked for and passed it him, I watched as he filled it with water and downed it quickly.

“When I didn’t see you at breakfast this morning, I reckoned you’d come get some when no one was around. Just here to check up on you.”

“Well I kinda slept through breakfast for one… plus it doesn’t feel right for me to eat with you guys. I’m not… one of you. You all know each other… and I know some of you don’t trust me.” I tried to hide the sadness in my voice but it was clear from Steve’s expression that he noticed it. I stared down at my bowl with a measly amount of cereal sat in the bottom. Suddenly a mug was placed next to me and filled with coffee, I glanced up to see Steve giving me a kind smile.

“Since Tony has arranged for you to stay here, I suppose that makes you one of us now. But… until you’re ready, it’ll be fine for you to eat alone.”

“I- I actually wouldn’t mind some company from time to time.” I mentioned sheepishly.

“Well… give me a shout and I’ll join you if I can.”

“I’d like that… thank you Steve… for everything. I really do appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

 

“You’ve been working out?” I asked as I ate another spoonful of cereal. Steve and I were stood opposite each other leaning against the kitchen island.

“What?” Steve smiled amused by my question.

“I assume with the towel and sweats.” I motioned to his clothes with the spoon.

“Yeah, went for a run with Sam.”

“Oh yeah, _with_. Pretty sure _with_ means you keep up with your partner, not ditch them. Y’know this brings back flashbacks of when we first met!” Sam’s annoyed voice echoed from the corridor outside the kitchen, his rather exhausted looking figure followed shortly after.

“No need to be a sore loser.” Steve teased. Sam rolled his eyes as he made his way to the fridge; he pulled out a bottle of fruit juice and downed half of it.

“Morning Hop-scotch.”

Steve and I turned to Sam, both having a confused look etched onto our faces. Sam chuckled at our expressions and slung his arm around my shoulders.

“Hop-scotch?” Steve and I asked in unison.

“Yeah. You know, ‘cause you _hop_ from one place to another.” Sam explained.

“Come on Sam. You want to make her run for the hills already with your bad nicknaming game?” Steve teased. I bit into an apple before responding.

“I don’t mind, it’s not the worse nickname I’ve ever had.”

“See!” Sam exclaimed.

“Not the best either.” I teased. I watched Sam’s look of shock; he dramatically put his hand over his heart and gave me a look of hurt. Steve chuckled as he stood up properly.

“I think you’re going to fit in _just fine_.” Steve smiled brightly at me as he walked out of the room leaving me alone with Sam. _Maybe he’s right… it might take some time but I think I could just fit in here._


	23. Chapter 23

I was stood outside when an accented voice called my name. I turned to see Wanda walking towards me, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Hey Wanda.” I replied.

“I’m going out later, thought maybe you could join me? Stark says you’re staying so you’ll need more clothes.” Her smile brightened.

“I- I don’t have any money…”

“That’s why Tony gave me a budget… That’s if you want to come with me.”

“…Okay…” I spoke hesitantly; _they won’t find me will they? They don’t know I’m here; they’ve got to be looking in Romania not the US._ I worried my lip at my thoughts.

“If you’re not ready to go out yet, that’s fine… there’s always online shopping.” Wanda suggested.

“Online shopping?” I requested. If it meant I got to stay safe a bit longer, it was fine with me.

“Sure. After lunch?”

I nodded in reply. Wanda and I started to walk back inside the building, at first we were in idle chatter but then she brought up what I was dreading.

“I… I saw… flashes of what they did.”

“Oh…”

“If you ever want someone to talk to… come find me.” Wanda gave me an encouraging smile.

“Okay…” We came to a staircase, Wanda motioned she was heading up, I told her I was going to my room for a while.

“I’ll see you after lunch.” Wanda spoke kindly.

“Wanda,” I called as she started climbing again. She turned to me again. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiled.

 

I curled up on the sofa in my room; I didn’t know what to do with myself. A sudden knock on my door startled me.

“It’s open!” I shouted. The door opened a second later.

“Hey kid.” Tony greeted.

“Hey mist-“

“Tony.” He interrupted.

“Tony,” He was wandering around the room, I squinted. Tony was acting very odd, looking around the room but not quite at me. “What’s up?” I probed.

“Room could use a bit of sprucing up,” He gestured to the room. “Shelves over there, TV here. A lick of paint.”

“I guess…” Confusion filled my voice.

“Okay. Shoo then.”

“Excuse me?”

“Come back later Katherine.” Tony grinned at me. He then ushered me out of the room and closed it after me. I looked at the door wide eyed in shock.

“Well that was…”

“Odd?” I turned to see a figure stood behind me.

“Yes, I guess so,” I admitted. “I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.” I added sheepishly.

“I am Vision.”

“Oh, nice to meet you. I’m-“

“Katherine Holt.”

“Ah… yes…” I scowled, not sure what I was to do now.

“I believe lunch won’t be long, I could give you a tour of the building if you’d like. It may be easier to find your way around.” Vision broke the silence.

“I’d quite like that.” I replied.

“Please follow me Miss Holt.”

“You can just call me Katherine.” I added.

 

“And here we have the library.” Vision spoke then he suddenly fazed through the wall. I sighed and rolled my eyes. _This is like the… what? Sixth time?_ I opened the door and followed him inside.

“Oh, I’ve done it again haven’t I?” Vision’s brow furrowed. He apologized again.

“Maybe we could do it together next time?”

“Ah, your abilities, they’re very unique. I heard you can faze through objects as well.”

“I’ve only ever done it once.” I confessed. My gaze was pulled to the library; I let out a sound of awe as I turned to look at it all.

“Wow!” I exclaimed.

“Do you like to read Miss- … Katherine?” Corrected Vision.

“I’m partial to a bit of reading now and then.”

“Perhaps in your times of unease, this could be a place of refuge.” Vision suggested. I nodded in response.

“Can we start heading to the kitchen?” I asked. “I- I think I’d like to eat with everyone.” _I hope it doesn’t get awkward._

“Of course Katherine. Please follow me.” Vision fazed through the wall. _Here goes nothing_. I closed my eyes and placed my hand against the wall, I slowly felt my hand move through, I opened my eyes and walked forward. I gasped when I got to the other side, Vision looked slightly impressed.

“That felt weirder than when I did it the first time.” I shuddered. I then walked beside Vision as we made our way to the kitchen and dining area.

 

“Katherine!” Wanda called. I turned to see her setting the table, she gestured for me to come over. I looked to Vision and thanked him for the tour before I went to join Wanda.

“I came for lunch. Which begs the question, what _is_ for lunch?” I inquired, looking over to the kitchen to see Sam and another dark skinned man I hadn’t met before messing around and joking.

“I think we’re having pizza. Can you help me?” Wanda asked politely. I took a few things from her hands and set them down on the table.

“Want me to get some glasses?”

“Please, they’re-“

“I know.” I Interrupted. I let myself appear by the cupboards startling Sam and the other man.

“Jesus Hop-scotch, a little warning next time!” Sam teased. I let out a small laugh.

“I’m Katherine.” I put my hand out to the other man stood beside Sam.

“Call me Rhodey. I’ve heard a bit about you from Tony, but mostly from Sam.” He then shook my hand.

“Good things I hope.” I replied. Both men let out a laugh. I turned and opened the cupboard and brought down several glasses. I teleported back and forth placing the glasses on the table and going back for more when there were still empty places.

“Tah-dah. Done!” I smiled at Wanda. Soon after the rest of the Avengers trailed in, some went to the kitchen; others sat at the table chatting to each other. I noticed how well they interacted; it was like a family. They laughed and joked and teased each other. Then I noticed how I was the odd one out. _I shouldn’t have come to lunch… I should’ve waited till later… Should’ve grabbed something later._ I sighed quietly and sat beside Wanda at the table.

“Okay people. Pizza’s coming up!” Sam shouted from the kitchen.

 

For me, lunch passed slowly. While everyone spoke to one another giving slight jabs at each other in joke. I sat quietly. No one spoke to me. I felt like a ghost. My plate was clear of food, I sat staring down at the fork in my hand. I felt the metal melt, twist and turn in my grip, and float around my fingers. Then the room fell silent. I peered up to see everyone staring at me. I quickly returned the fork to its original form and excused myself from the table. I took my plate to the kitchen, cleaned and dried it then put it away. Just as I was about to leave I turned to Wanda.

“I’ll meet you at the stairs.” I couldn’t hide the sadness in my voice.

“Okay…” She replied quietly. I quickly walked away and made my way to the stairs, I sat on the bottom step and let my head loll against the wall. _I don’t belong here, I shouldn’t have gone to lunch._ A warmth spread across my chest, I glanced down to see the blood in the necklace swirling around rapidly, but when I stroked the glass it settled again. As I continued to run my fingers over it the warmth started to spread to my entire body, especially my mind, and I calmed, my worries forgotten for a moment. _Thank you._ I gently squeezed the glass and let go.

“Katherine?” Wanda’s voice called.

“Here.” I answered. Wanda then appeared at the side of me, a bottle of wine in her grip.

“Come on, let’s go shopping. My room or yours?”

“I think my room is off limits at the minute.”

“Mine then. Come on, up!” Wanda held her hand out to me. I took it and stood then followed her up the stairs and down a winding corridor before stopping at a door.

 

“What about that?” I pointed to the screen. Wanda looked me up and down then shook her head.

“It wouldn’t suit you,” She glanced back and the screen, scrolled then pointed. “But that would.”

“Ooh! That’s gorgeous!” I enthused. “Ooh! It even comes in my favorite colour!”

“In the cart.” Wanda mused. We’d been sat on her bed for a few hours now, flicking through several websites and buying about two, three wardrobes worth of clothes.

“A- About lunch… I- I’m sorry…” I started.

“What’re you sorry for?” Wanda sounded confused.

“When I was messing with the fork, everyone they-“

“They were surprised… but nothing to be sorry about Katherine.”

“Oh,” My voice fell, “Kate.”

“Huh?”

“You can call me Kate… y’know… if you want that is…” I replied.

“You swim?”

“Yes of course.”

“There’s a pool here.” Wanda smiled.

“Then I’m going to need a swim suit.” I took over on the computer and started to look for swim suits.

 

“Is it safe to come in there, I’m getting the overpowering feeling of women blowing my money and probably chatting about stuff men aren’t meant to know, radiating from in there.” I heard Tony holler from outside. Wanda and I laughed in response. We had stopped shopping a while ago, instead we laid on her bed finding out more about each other. I wasn’t the only person to lose someone, I found out Wanda had lost her brother during the fall of Sokovia. I opened the door, Tony was stood fiddling with some kind of device.

“Can I borrow you for a few?” Tony asked. I turned to look at Wanda, she gestured for me to ‘shoo’.

“I guess.” I answered. Tony then ushered me toward my room.

“Rogers thought that maybe it would help if you could keep yourself busy every so often.” Tony mentioned as he opened the door. I gasped as I saw the floor and all the furniture covered in white sheets, I noticed there was several new additions to the room as well. Sat on top of what I assumed was the coffee table was several pots of paint of different colours.

“Oh. My. God!” I squealed in excitement.

“Knock yourself out. There’s some overalls somewhere in there.” Tony gestured to the room.

“Thank you!” I wrapped my arms around Tony and hugged him tightly before disappearing into the room to look at the paint.

“No worries.” I heard Tony’s voice before the door clicked shut.

 

“Hm…” My brow furrowed as I tried to choose between three different coloured paints, I sat crossed legged on the floor.

“Katherine?”

I startled and turned to see Steve stood in my room, a plate held in one hand and a glass in the other.

“I didn’t hear you come in.” I laughed sheepishly.

“You were a million miles away,” Steve came and sat beside me on the floor. “Can’t decide?”

“Nope!” I replied popping the ‘p’.

“So you got…” Steve gave an odd look toward the tins of paint in front of me, “Mauve Bauhaus… and… Veranda View.”

“Not sure which one I like the most.” I smiled softly.

“I got an idea. Got some paper and a pencil or pen?” Steve asked.

“Somewhere I think, let me go look.” I stood and wandered around the room, finally I found a pad of paper for taking notes and a pen. I sat back down next to Steve and handed them over.

“Oh, these are for you,” Steve pushed the plate and glass over to me. “I kind of guessed with the drink, you like Cranberry?”

“Funnily enough I am partial to Cranberry juice every now and again.” I chuckled as I took a sip.

“And you looked like you could use something sweet to eat.” Steve added. I glanced down at the cookies sat on the plate and grinned. I sat and ate quietly as Steve sketched and glanced over at the other coloured paint I had discarded into a group.

 

“How about something like this?” Steve gingerly passed me the paper.

“I like it!” I grinned, Steve’s sketch was so detailed, so pretty, I was in awe.

“I was thinking, this, for that, and this one for that, and maybe, if you want, this one for that?” Steve pointed and picked up tins of paint as he spoke animatedly.

“That’d brill!” I laughed. “Want to help?” I asked quietly. Steve seemed taken aback for a moment before he smiled.

“Yeah, sure. But there’ll be times wh-“

“You’ve got a mission? I get it. This room is big, it’ll take a long time, I can be patient.” I replied.

“So… want to get started?” Steve asked.

“Hell yeah!” I exclaimed happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back for a little while :)
> 
> Exhausted but back.


	24. Chapter 24

Steve and I sat collapsed onto the sheet covered sofa in laughter. The both of us were covered in paint, some splatters were from where the rollers spat back paint, but the numerous hand prints covering our overalls gave another story.

“Okay, that’s enough for today.” I grinned.

“So… who’s going to tell Stark we need more paint.” Steve asked.

“You started it. You tell him.”

“I think _you_ were the one who started it.” Steve teased.

“Fine, I did start it. But you gotta admit, it was fun!”

“Yeah, it was fun. Got a bit done.”

Steve and I glanced at the small section of wall that had been painted in purple, or as the tin artfully named it, ‘Mauve Bauhaus’.

“We did good!” Steve noted.

“Yeah we did.” I agreed.

 

“I should get going. Dinner won’t be long.” Steve stood and smiled apologetically.

“Oh yeah, thanks for helping.” I gave a small smile in response. A minute later I was alone again. _Maybe I should grab a shower?_ I looked down at myself to see I was head to toe covered in paint.

“Yeah, I definitely need a shower.” I giggled. I gathered the nightclothes Wanda let me have and wandered into the bathroom. I stripped off my paint soaked clothes and dumped them in the corner. Carefully I took off my necklace and placed it on the shelf above the sink. As I brushed my fingers across the glass, it throbbed and a wave of happiness flooded me. I walked into the spacious shower and turned the handle, a cascade of water flowed from the shower head. I squealed and backed away as icy cold water hit my body. It took a minute to warm up, I then stepped under the torrent of water and sighed happily. I grabbed the shampoo that Wanda had given me and rubbed it deep into the roots of my hair. I hummed happily in the shower as I washed my body, my hair sat in a lump on my head soaking in the shampoo and conditioner. I scrubbed my arms as scolding hot water flowed over my shoulders and back, then just as suddenly as it was there, it was gone. The shower making a God awful noise as the water ceased.

“What the _fuck!_ ” I cried out. I fiddled with the shower, but it only groaned in response. I quickly hopped out of the shower and wrapped a bath towel around my body. _Steve’s room is only down the corridor, surely he’ll let me use him shower. I bloody hope he does!_

 

The next thing I saw was the door to Steve’s room as blue smoke disappeared into the air. Then I heard footsteps and voices getting closer. _Shit!_ I quickly tapped on Steve’s door, hoping he’d answer before the owners of the voices came any closer.

“Katherine wh-“

“Can I use your shower? Mine died on me.” I quickly spoke, my voice nearing on begging.

“Sure, come in.” Steve was beyond startled by my appearance, when he noticed the voices he ushered me in.

“I’m sorry that I’m…dripping…” I sheepishly admitted. _Oh my God what did I just say?_ _What was I thinking?_

“This way. There should be some hot water left.” Steve kindly spoke, he guided me through his bedroom to the bathroom.

“How come you get an en-suite?” I teased.

“Come on Katherine, shower.” Steve chuckled.

“Thank you by the way.”

“No problem.” He smiled before he went back into the main room, I then heard a TV playing, some kind of sports game. Steve’s shower was similar to mine, but rather than a lounge there was just a section in the corner as a seat. I turned on the water and placed the towel on the rack beside the shower then walked under the stream. I sighed happily as my shampoo was washed away along with the last few suds of the body wash. At first I was just humming it, then I ditched all my inhibitions and sang aloud, the shower filled with the sound of ‘Livin’ la Vida Loca’.

 

As the last few suds flowed down the drain I turned off the shower and stepped out. I quickly wrapped my towel around me to fight the sudden chill. I wandered out of the bathroom and into the main part of Steve’s room. A eyebrow raised when I could hear Steve humming, I looked around the corner of the room to see him making himself a mug of something. I burned bright red when I recognized the song he was humming.

“Oh God!” I placed a hand over my mouth in shock and embarrassment. “You heard that!”

Steve turned to look at me, a playful smile on his lips. He chuckled nervously.

“It was hard not to.”

“I- I should get going. Thanks for letting me use your shower.” I spoke hurriedly as I strode toward Steve’s door and left as quick as I could. I kept slipping on the floor with how wet my feet were as I ran to my room. As I sprinted into the room and slammed the door behind me I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“Well. Time for me to die of embarrassment!” I groaned. I slowly walked into the bathroom and dried my body and hair. I took the necklace from the shelf and fastened it around my neck, I sighed as I touched the glass, a slow wave of reassurance running through my blood. I smiled softly and sent back my own feelings, hoping they’d come across as I wanted. A knock came at my door an hour or so later, I whined and got up from laying across the floor. I opened the door a crack then opened it fully when I saw Wanda stood there.

“Dinner’s ready, you want to join us?”

“Who’s there?”

“Stark, Rhodey, Sam, Steve and me.” Wanda replied.

“Okay, give me a sec.” I answered. I quickly grabbed a cardigan that Wanda had let me borrow for the time being and I followed her to the kitchen and dining area.

“What’s for dinner?” I asked.

“Not sure, think Stark might have ordered some food. Either way, it will be good.” She smiled.

 

I chose to sit beside Wanda as we steadily wandered over to the table, Steve sat opposite me with Sam at his side. Tony was stood in the kitchen, nursing a glass of something alcoholic, with Rhodey, their places were set adjacent to us, basically it was like a very square horseshoe around one end of the table.

“who’s up for Lasagna?” Rhodey exclaimed from the kitchen.

“Either way it’s tough, because that’s all there is!” Tony added after: laughing. For a while we talked among ourselves while Tony and Rhodey bickered in the kitchen. The main subject was training, past and future, I laughed at the stories of the horrific mishaps that had happened when trying to tweak their gear. Such as the chaos that had ensued when Tony’s targeting systems had an error and the front part of the compound needed new windows. Or when they had to rescue Sam from a tree when his suit’s wings went kaput on him. They often talked about a man named Clint, Wanda spoke of him very fondly during the conversation, who I was then told was Hawkeye. His mishaps usually occurred when he had tried making new trick arrows and it ending really badly, much to the amusement of everyone else.

“Hop-scotch here has some pretty neat powers, Sam spoke motioning to me. “Why doesn’t she start training with us, see where it goes? I mean, if we’re gonna go up against Exodus, shouldn’t we have someone who knows their capabilities, who knows them intimately.” Sam reasoned.

“I-I really shouldn’t.” I waved my hand, not wanting to go into that subject.

“Self-defense?” Wanda offered. I turned to her and urged to her continue.

“It’s best you don’t come if and when we find them. But, we could train you so if they do come for you while we aren’t here or if you decide to leave, you can protect yourself.”

“We?” I wondered.

“We’ll all teach you what we know.” Sam spoke, with Steve agreeing shortly after.

“Okay… yeah… okay.” I agreed, a smile working its way onto my face.

 

“I’ll help!” I exclaimed as Rhodey was placing ceramic dishes on the counter, I appeared beside him and took the oven gloves. I quickly hopped between the kitchen and the dining table, placing each of the three dishes on the table. On my last trip I grabbed a few serving spoons and returned to my seat. Rhodey had placed a long plate with Garlic bread stacked along it in the middle of the table between us all.

“Thanks Katherine.” Rhodey nodded in thanks.

“No problem.”

“Dig in!” Tony exclaimed, reaching for a spoon and eyeing up the closest dish. As I placed a few pieces of Garlic bread on Wanda’s plate, she placed a large serving of Lasagna on mine. We shared a smile and began eating. _God this is so good!_ I groaned happily. _It might just rival mine and… James’… Wow… that was a long time ago… and a lot of fun…_ I smiled fondly at the memory. The glass resting against my chest gave out a wave of energy. I gently laid my fingers against it and shut my eyes, it was like I could hear the whispers of his voice, but I knew as I pulled my fingers away that James had somehow felt what I was remembering.

“Wow, this is just _really_ delicious!” I enthused.

“It’s my mother’s recipe.” Rhodey replied.

“Well it’s really bloody amazing!” I smiled.

“Thank you, Katherine.”

 

“So Steve,” Tony turned to him. “You and Katherine are close.”

“What are you getting at Tony?” Steve narrowed his gaze.

“Nothing… just think it was a little… odd that Katherine was leaving your room in nothing but a towel.” Tony gave a devious smirk.

“Ah! My- my shower broke, it just stopped suddenly, Steve’s room is closest!” I quickly spoke tripping over my words and starting to blush furiously at the implication.

“Tony!” Steve exclaimed getting flustered. “I wasn’t going to turn her away! She still had suds covering her!” _Oh shut up Steve!_

“Oh really? Got a good look then? You dirty old man!” Tony teased. He received a quick thump from Rhodey while the rest of the table was laughing. I hid my face in my hands, trying to hide how red I had become and groaned loudly.

“You stopped her shower Tony!” Rhodey exclaimed incredulously.

“What? Me? No!” Tony placed a hand over his heart. “I would never!” He grinned. I grabbed my glass tight and appeared beside Tony and threw the contents at him, the room fell silent.

“You absolute _twat_!” I yelled. I slammed the glass on the table, I heard it smash as I stormed out of the room.

“Nice one Tony.” I heard Sam say as I went to the stairwell, footsteps following after me.

 

“Hop-scotch. Hop-scotch!” Sam called as I strode into my room. Before I could slam my door shut he put his hand out and held it open then pushed himself between it and the frame.

“What do you want Sam? Come to laugh some more?” I yelled at him.

“Hey. What Tony did was a total dick move. He shouldn’t have done it.”

“I’m just… I’m just a fucking joke to everyone here!” I continued to yell, I felt tears threaten to fall. I stepped away from the door and stood in the middle of the room.

“Katherine, that’s not true!”

“Everybody stared at me at lunch, and now everyone made me a joke at dinner! I’m not welcome here Sam!” I shouted.

“Come on Hop-scotch!” Sam took a step towards me.

“Don’t come any closer!” I warned. I glanced down at my hands and felt fear lance through me.

“Hop-scotch? Holy shit!” Sam’s eyes widened.

“D- don’t.” I pulled my fingers away from my palm, I winced as long razor like claws withdrew from the wounds that went straight through my palm and out the back of my hand.

“Katherine…” Sam drew my attention away from my healing wounds.

“I- I’m like _them_!” I choked out. I glanced up to see the others stepping into my room, their eyes wide when they saw me.

“Kate!” Wanda gasped her eyes glued to my face.

“I- it’s not just that is it?” I spoke glancing down to my nails. Wanda shook her head and took a small step toward me.

“No! Don’t!” I cried out. I quickly ran into the bathroom and looked at my reflection. I gasped when I saw the raised markings surrounding my eyes and covering my cheekbones. I met my own gaze in the mirror and nearly felt my heart stop as my eyes weren’t the emerald green they were, but a toxic yellow instead, my pupils like slits.

“Oh. My. God!” I felt the tears begin to fall.

“She’s not going to hurt anyone Tony!” I heard Steve shout as his voice got closer. Suddenly the door opened, Steve slowly stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

“Katherine?”

I managed to meet his gaze, his eyes held so many emotions, shock, guilt, worry… fear.

“I- I’m not a _monster_! I- I’m not going to be one of _their monsters_!” I sobbed. Steve strode toward me and embraced me, I tensed and held my breath as he pulled me close and stroked my hair gently, hushing me as I cried. At first I felt the claws change, my nails returning to before, then I could slightly sense my skin tingle, then my sight blurred for a second. I wrapped my arms around Steve and looked over his shoulder into the mirror. I was me again. I wasn’t a monster.

“I know,” Steve hushed me “I know.”


	25. Chapter 25

I wasn’t sure how long had passed, the days had blurred together. I hadn’t become… _that_ … since and I was grateful, at first everyone kept their distance but then they settled and everything returned to how it was before. But ever since, I was tortured with nightmares, sometimes it was memories of when they took me, other nights I watched as I tore through the Avengers, staining the rooms red. I sighed softly as I flicked through 3am TV, I was curled up on the sofa in the living area in the compound, another nightmare had woken me, but this time it was a particularly horrific one.

“Can’t sleep?” Steve’s sleepy voice floated into the room. I turned to face him and nodded. He wandered over and dropped onto the sofa next to me.

“Any particular reason?” He asked.

“Nightmare.”

“You’ve been having a lot recently,” He yawned. “I- ah I’ve heard you screaming sometimes…”

“Oh. Sorry I woke you.”

“I was already awake.” He admitted.

“Oh…” I replied.

“I know what it’s like to be plagued by nightmares.” Steve spoke quietly. We were silent for a moment, _what do I say to that?_

“Kitchen?” Steve stood up and stretched. He held his hand out to me, I took it gingerly and let him pull me through the compound and into the kitchen.

 

We sat on the barstools at one of the kitchen counters, a hot cup of coffee in our hands and we just spoke to each other about nonsense.

“Sorry about Tony for what he pulled with the shower.” He apologized.

“You don’t need to apologize, that’s Tony’s job.” I muttered.

“Your nightmares… w- what are they about?” Steve glanced up from his mug to meet my eyes.

“What _they_ did to me. And what I’m afraid I might do.” I answered solemnly.

“Anything I can do to help?” He asked softly.

“No.”

We fell into silence, the only sounds were us sipping our coffees.

“They took me… somewhere… they locked me away. I was surrounded by their failed experiments. Monsters. Dead or dying. T-they… He… operated on me… no anesthetic-“

“Katherine you don’t need to-“

“I want you to know Steve.” I interrupted.

“Okay.” He whispered.

“He put… _things_ inside of me. I managed to rip them out,” I lied, how could I tell him that Bucky was the one who saved me… James wasn’t ready for that confrontation yet. “Injected… something in me… something that made the others monsters…that made me a monster.” I couldn’t stop the sadness coming through my voice.

“How did you get out?” Steve asked gently.

“Not sure, it’s all a blur.” I lied again.

“We’ll find them. They’ll get what’s coming to them.” Steve promised, his hand settled on top of mine, squeezing it in reassurance.

 

Steve had walked me to my room, my body and mind struggling to stay awake. He helped me to my room and gently laid me in bed and wrapped the duvet around me.

“Steve.” My voice was heavy with exhaustion.

“Yes?”

“Come here.”

Steve came close to me, I leaned up and hugged him tightly.

“Thank you for listening.” I pulled back and kissed him softly on the cheek before curling up in the warmth of my bed. I felt a kiss being pressed against my cheek before I fell asleep.

 

I woke up to sun streaming in through the window. I groaned and hid underneath the duvet hoping it would go away and be night again. I huffed when I wasn’t going to fall back asleep and decided to get up instead. I wandered to my door, my toothbrush stuffed in my mouth, as someone knocked. I opened it to see both Sam and Steve in their running gear.

“Want to join us Hop-scotch?” Sam asked.

“Uh… give me a minute. You guys wanna come in?” I opened the door and gestured for them to come in.

“You planning a murder or what kid?” Sam teased. There room was still covered in white sheets, the walls had a bit more paint on it from when I couldn’t sleep and wanted something to do.

“Very funny bird brain.” I wandered back into the bathroom and reappeared a moment later then stepped into my bedroom. The clothes I had ordered online had all arrived, so I pulled on a pair of three-quarter running leggings and a sports shirt.

“Lets go!” I hopped through the room pulling on my trainers while heading to the door, Sam and Steve not far behind.

 

_Don’t think Exodus are going to kill me… I’ll go into cardiac arrest doing this! Why did I even think this was a good idea?_ I followed behind Sam and Steve as they slowed down to a jog so I could keep up.

“You alright back there?” Steve called over his shoulder.

“Just… dying!” I panted, the pain in my side from stitch flared up and I let myself drop to the floor. I groaned and watched the clouds pass across the sky. I glanced over to see the compound not too far away.

“Hop-scotch?” I glanced over to see Sam crouched beside me, concern etched into his face.

“You okay?” Steve’s voice was at my side. I was still trying to catch my breath so I slowly gave a thumbs up to say I was okay. I saw Steve’s hand held out to me, I tried grabbing it but couldn’t keep a firm grip on it.

“Lets get you back.”

“You’re making breakfast.” Sam voiced triumphant. Steve grumbled in reply. I felt myself get lifted from the ground and two arms wrapped around me to support me, Sam and Steve let me lean on them as we made out way back.

“How about we take you to the gym later?” Steve offered.

“Maybe then you’ll be able to keep up with us.” Sam teased.

“Mhm.” I quietly replied.

 

Sam helped lift me onto a barstool in the kitchen as Steve sorted out breakfast. We talked among ourselves for a while, some of the other Avengers drifted in and out of the room often making comments on us all needing a shower.

“Kate!” Wanda appeared at my side, a smile on her lips.

“Morning Wanda.” I smiled back.

“I was thinking I could help you with your… abilities.” Wanda gestured to her head then mine, I understood what she was getting at.

“Please!” I enthused.

“Only if you go take a shower first!” Wanda snickered. I laughed in response and agreed. I gave my thanks to the two men I had become close friends with and followed Wanda through the building, idly chatting along the way until we reached my door.

“I’ll meet you in your room in a while.” I spoke as I opened my door and stepped inside.

“See you then.”

I closed the door gently, as I walked away I could hear Wanda and Vision’s voices outside then they got quieter as they walked away.

 

I fiddled with the glass of my necklace as I stood in the training room with Wanda. Sam and Steve were sparring nearby and had offered their assistance if we needed it for any reason. I had discussed with Wanda what I could do, she nodded as she listened. We sat on the floor as she mentored me, telling me to relax, to focus.

“Seeing people’s future plans, you could only do that when you sleep right?” Wanda asked. I nodded gently.

“Try seeing _my_ future plans, relax and focus, but stay awake.” Wanda instructed. I let out a long and slow exhale and closed my eyes, I relaxed and focused on Wanda. A few minutes passed and nothing happened, I didn’t see anything. I opened my eyes and huffed in frustration.

“You need to relax. You’re worried about what you’re going to see. It’s creating a block. Don’t worry.” Wanda placed her hand on top of mine and smiled encouragingly at me.

“I’ll try.” Once again I closed my eyes and relaxed, I focused on Wanda once more. At first there was nothing but darkness, then slowly images started to flood my mind. I saw Wanda sat in her room, her guitar in her grip as she peered at the sheet music and followed it, I glanced to the door to see Vision stood there, he was watching Wanda intently. I opened my eyes and breathed slowly, a smile tugging at my lips.

“Wanda… I think it’s more than just what someone _wants_ to do, I think its what someone wants to _happen_ as well _._ ”

“You could be right.” Wanda agreed. For a while, I practiced in seeing what others wanted to do and what they wanted to happen. Wanda wondered whether I could push how far I could see, was it just that day or could I go a week later or further. Steve volunteered for that, he stood in front of me, this time I kept my eyes open, relaxed and focused. My surroundings changed, I glanced around and Steve and then another figure a few feet away. I swallowed the gasp that threatened to escape when I recognized the figure as James. I watched as the two embraced, then the surroundings changed and the two of them were sharing an apartment somewhere, chatting and teasing each other. I drew back and once again I was back in the training room.

“J-,’ I caught myself before I spoke his name. “Just who is that?” I asked Steve.

“Bucky. It’s a long story.” He spoke quietly, his brow furrowing. I gave a sad smile, I could see the grief playing in his eyes at the thought of James. My fingers idly brushed over the glass of my necklace, a wave of sadness emanated from it.

 

“Tony’s called a meeting.” Steve announced as he picked up his buzzing phone.

“I suppose I’ll see you guys later.” I replied.

“Including you Katherine.” Sam looked at his own phone.

“Oh!” I couldn’t hide the surprise from my voice. We all wandered to where the meeting was taking place, a large holographic screen was in the middle of the room. We sat down and waited for the others to join us, eventually we had all gathered.

“Exodus,” Tony started. “They’re invisible, whatever they’re doing they’re good at keeping it quiet and covering their tracks. If you weren’t purposefully looking for them, they don’t exist.”

“So you can’t find them?” I worried my lip.

“Like I said, not unless you were purposefully looking for them.”

“So you found them?” Wanda interjected.

“I’ve found little evidence of their activities, people’s missing reports and such, but for some, it’s like they’ve wiped their existence entirely.” Tony hesitated.

“Go on.” Steve pushed.

“Katherine, as of that day you went to the drug trial, ever since they did what they did to you… you haven’t existed… ever.” Tony gave an apologetic look. I felt numb, it felt like my entire world had come crashing around me. _I don’t exist._

“You were being kept somewhere right?” Tony asked. I nodded, fearing how my voice would come out.

“Do you think you could show us?”

“I was in a van the entire way there, no windows…but,” I thought for a moment.

“Go on.” I turned to see Natasha looking at me intently.

“I left a trail, a mark in the road it was only small so they wouldn’t notice…,” _Shit now I got to make something up_ “So that if I got away, I could find my way back.”

“Back to where?” Natasha cocked a brow in question.

“To the city. To the streets.” I quietly replied. _If anyone is going to realize I’m not telling the whole truth, it’ll be Natasha. I have to be careful._ I worried.

“It was Bucharest, wasn’t it? Where you were?” Tony prompted.

“Uh… yeah.” I answered.

“Friday, look for a continuous disturbance in the road leaving Bucharest. It’ll be discreet.” Tony called out. I watched as the holographic screen showed live pictures of Bucharest, the image never held long before it flashed to another part of the city. A few minutes passed suddenly the image zoomed out, a red line flowed through the maze of roads and out of the city. Tony zoomed in to where the line finished: a familiar dirt track. I shuddered at the memories.

 

“Oh God!” Wanda placed her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. I looked to the screen to see a truck travel down the road, Tony zoomed in as far as possible. I watched in horror as a group of restrained people were led from the truck, surrounded by armed guards and ushered into the compound.

“Who fancies giving them a visit?” Tony looked to the others. I tried to control my breathing as images flashed in my head of my time there. I flinched when a hand touched my shoulder.

“Katherine?” Vision stood beside me, the room was empty.

“W- where is-“

“They’ve all gone to get ready. You are to remain here.” Vision placed a small device on the table in front of me.

“What’s this?”

“Captain Rogers has requested that you have the ability to see and hear us while we’re gone.” Vision pointed to the screen.

“Okay.” I fiddled with the small device on the table before picking it up and placing it in my ear. Vision nodded and left the room, of course he didn’t use the door like anyone else, his little quirks were starting to grow on me.

 

I started to pace the room, I looked out the window as a small aircraft sat in the courtyard, each of the Avengers were starting to file in. I followed Steve’s figure as he fiddled with his uniform and gear. _Be safe all of you._ _You most of all… Bucky wouldn’t forgive me if you got hurt._ Then I heard a voice in my ear.

“Katherine.” Steve’s voice came over the earpiece.

“Yes.” I replied quietly, fear evident in my voice.

“Anything we should know before we go in?”

“They’ll stop at nothing. They’ll die if they have to.” I answered.

“Take it easy. We’ll keep you updated.” Steve tried to reassure me.

“Be safe. Please Steve.” I pleaded.

“I will.” He promised. Then there was silence. I watched as the aircraft left the compound. _Now it’s just a waiting game._ I sighed heavily.


	26. Chapter 26

I sat in the meeting room, a coffee in my hands as I waited to hear from the team, it had been two hours since they had left. Sam had come over the comms every so often to give an update on where they were and how far they were from Exodus compound. Then other times he’d come over to give a commentary on what was happening on the aircraft, which I’d learnt was a called a Quin-jet. My morose attitude was broken in those moments as Sam would come out with some really crazy things, commenting on the flight and what the rest of the team were doing. My stomach grumbled as hunger began to set in.

“You need to eat.” Steve’s voice quietly came over the comms.

“I’m fine.” I replied.

“Please Katherine.” Steve pleaded.

“Fine.” I sighed. I stood from my seat and wandered to the kitchen. I grabbed a tin of soup from the cupboard, emptied it into a bowl and stuck it in the microwave. I quietly sang Panic! At The Disco’s ‘Golden Days’ as I buttered some bread.

“Hey, Hop-scotch, we can hear you over here.” Sam’s voice startled me.

“Fuck!” I squeaked, I heard laughter in my earpiece, _at least they can’t see the fact I’m dying of embarrassment._ I groaned as I laid my head on the kitchen counter. I silently fetched the soup from the microwave, grabbed some bread and went back to the meeting room silently chastising myself to make sure my earpiece was off before doing stuff.

 

I worried my lip when Tony came over the comms saying that they were closing in on the compound’s location.

“Be careful, all of you.” I pleaded. They all agreed in response. That’s when the visuals from most of the team came up on the holographic screen. I clenched and unclenched my fists as they landed. I fiddled with the glass necklace unknowingly, wave after wave of fear came over me, when I realized that James now had the knowledge of what was happening, _they’re not coming for you… just Exodus… they’re not going to find out I promise._ The waves coming over me seemed to calm and settle.

“Could’ve given me a warning.” James’ voice suddenly surrounded me. I quickly looked around me, startled. I was alone. I quickly turned off my earpiece and removed it.

“James?” I questioned.

“You can hear me? Wait… I can hear you!” His voice suddenly filled with joy.

“You aren’t perchance holding onto your necklace really fucking tight are you?” I raised a brow, slight amusement filling my voice.

“Maybe.” His voice drifted off.

“It’s good to hear your voice.” I whispered.

“Yours too.” James’ voice was just as quiet as mine.

“I should go… I’ll explain what’s happened later?”

“Okay…oh and Katie?” James voiced.

“Yeah, go on.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” I whispered, a smile found itself onto my lips as I loosened my grip on the necklace. I gave it a minute before I put the earpiece back in and turned it on.

“Where d’ya go Hop-scotch?” Sam asked.

“Ladies’ room.” I lied.

“We’re about to go in kid.” Tony came over the comms.

 

I worried my lip the entire time I watched them fight. I was right when I said they would die before giving up. The _one face_ I was constantly looking for never appeared, I was both grateful and terrified. Natasha had gone to make a back-up of their data, Rhodey was watching her back just in case. The others were making their way through the compound, Steve and Sam were going deeper and deeper.

“Steve, Sam you _need_ to be careful. T-that’s where they… where they keep… _them_.” I managed to spit out.

“Katherine you don’t need to watch, if it’s too much…don’t put yourself through this!” Steve had whispered into his comms. I gripped the table as I saw the monsters in the cells, their most recent experiments hadn’t been successful. I watched as some of the armed guards let the few living creatures free, they were torn to pieces in seconds, then the turned their gaze to Steve and Sam.

“What the _fuck_ are they!” Sam screeched as the monsters bounded toward them. I flinched and turned away as the creatures reached them. _I can’t watch this!_ I flicked away Sam and Steve’s feed, instead watching Wanda and Vision’s. _They’d make a cute couple_ , I thought as I watched Vision keep Wanda in front of him. I choked on my saliva as I recognized the rooms they were passing, then I saw the painfully familiar room.

“Wanda.” I choked out.

“I know. I’m sorry Kate.” Her voice was solemn. I tore the earpiece from my ear and dashed from the room when I saw someone strapped to a table, the top of their skull missing, small devices implanted across the membrane of their brain. Images flashed in my mind again and again, I ran to the closest bathroom and threw up. _They were smiling. SMILING!_ I sat on the bathroom floor sobbing for several minutes before I calmed down. I swilled mouthwash around my mouth and spat it out before reluctantly returning to the meeting room.

 

“Kid?” Tony’s voice came through the earpiece as I placed it back in my ear.

“I’m here. Just… got a bit too much that’s all.” I admitted.

“We’re nearly finished here. Everyone is fine, a few cuts and bruises, but we’re fine.” He told me. I sighed in relief.

“Good… good.”

I fetched Steve and Sam’s visuals, they were going down each of the cells, I watched in horror as those who were too far gone were ended by their hands out of mercy. I heard the screams and screeches as they tried to tear through the bars of their cells to reach them. There were no humans, they were all monsters. I swallowed thickly and hopped over to Tony’s visuals. My stomach dropped.

“I’m sorry kid…”

All those people who we watched get transported by the truck were dead. _They’re getting faster with the experiments_. Those who were still human were riddled with bullets, all received from the armed guards, and those who had already been turned into weapons were ripped to pieces from Tony’s weaponry.

“You couldn’t save them…” I whispered.

“They killed them when they saw us coming.”

“I have all their data before they wiped their severs.” Natasha’s voice came over the comms.

“Everyone ready to go?” Tony asked. One by one everyone agreed.

“We’re on our way home Katherine.”

I sighed happily at Tony’s statement.

“Just be careful. Don’t let your guard drop…” I took the earpiece from my ear and turned it off. I stepped away from the table and trudged to my room. _I need a shower after all that_!

 

I gently placed my necklace on my nightstand and wandered into the bathroom. I turned on the shower, stripped and stepped under the flow of water. _This isn’t the end… something is going to happen. They’ll know I’m with the Avengers. They’ll try and get me again, it’s counted on._ I groaned and let myself lean against the cold tiles. I roughly scrubbed at my skin, hoping the dirty feeling I had covering me would eventually go away. Once the water had turned cold I climbed out and wrapped a towel around my body. I stepped into my bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. I ran my fingers through my hair.

“If I had only stayed there… let them do what they did to me… let them make me theirs… would all those innocents be getting on with their lives?” I asked myself angrily. I leaned over to the nightstand and fastened the necklace around my neck. I didn’t have the energy or motivation to sit and dry my hair, instead I curled up on the bed. Exhaustion, both physical and mental, dragged me into sleep.

 

“Katie?”

I opened my eyes to see James stood a few feet from me.

“Where are we?” I asked when I glanced around to see we weren’t anywhere. It was like we were stood in a grey nothingness.

“I think we’re asleep. Both of us.”

“You think whatever connection those necklaces give us, made this happen?”

“More than likely.” James took a step toward me. I quickly ran to him and embraced him.

“God I’ve missed you!”

“Steve’s friends, they went to where Exodus had you?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not safe, are you?” His expression dropped.

“I don’t think so.”

“When do you think we will _see_ each other again?” His voice broke a little as he spoke.

“I don’t know.” I whispered.

“I should go…” James drew away, he placed a kiss on my cheek.

“Bucky…” I called out. He walked away, then he suddenly disappeared. _He’s pushing me away? Why?_ My heart stuttered for a moment.

 

“Katherine!” A voice shouted. I bolted upright and collided with someone.

“Ouch! Fuck!” I groaned as I rubbed my forehead.

“Sorry!”

“Steve! What the _fuck!_ ” I grumbled. I sighed, I peered at him. I raised a brow when I saw him flush red and try and avert his gaze.

“What?” I exclaimed.

“Your towel…” Steve coughed out. I glanced down and squealed, my towel had come undone. I scrambled off the bed and grabbed a pair of shorts, panties, a top and bra and hid behind the bed and changed quickly.

“When did you guys get back?” I changed the subject. _Steve Rogers, Captain America, has just seen me naked._ I silently groaned and face palmed.

“An hour ago, Tony is just going through all the data Natasha got.”

“Everyone safe?”

“No one is seriously hurt.”

“Good.” I stood up and saw Steve stood by the bedroom door, a blush covering his cheeks, his hand gently rubbing the back of his neck. I noticed a slight cut on his cheek and sighed.

“Sorry about that.” I apologized.

“My fault, I spooked you.”

“Why are you here anyway?” I asked.

“All that… it was hard for you to go back there, so to speak.”

“And?” I didn’t voice my agreement, but it was implied, Steve got that.

“Thought maybe… you know if you want… you’d like to grab ice cream or something tomorrow? I know a really good place.” Steve offered.

“That sounds exactly like the thing I need!” I exclaimed.

“So do you-“

“Yes I’d love to go. Thank you Steve!”

 

Steve and I walked into the living area of the building, Vision was sat comforting Wanda. The moment she saw me, she ran to me and embraced me.

“They’re monsters.”

“I know.”

“T- the mirrors.”

“I know.”

“Y- you had to watch.”

“I know.” I started to feel numb again.

“That’s enough Wanda.” Steve warned.

“Kate… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.” She pulled away and walked out of the room, Vision passed me a moment later, giving me an almost sad look and followed after Wanda.

“You okay?” Steve placed a hand on my shoulder.

“One step forward, two steps back.” I replied, I saw the others gathered around a table at the back of the room, they were debating something.

“We come across any of those _creatures_ again, we got to put them down.” Tony argued.

“And if there’s a way to save them? To turn them back?” Rhodey replied.

“We can’t risk it, you saw how they tore people apart, they aren’t human anymore.” Natasha added.

“And what about Katherine? Are you going to _put her down_?” Sam’s voice held anger. They all turned to face me when they heard footsteps. My eyes widened when I heard what they were talking about it.

“And if I’m ever too far gone, if there is no chance of bringing me back, then yes, put me down. But I’m in control. I am _not_ one of _them_!” I spoke, anger laced my voice.

“So what about these nightmares about tearing us apart? Do we need to be watching our backs while you’re still here?” Natasha questioned. My head snapped to Steve, anger flowed through my veins and venom coated my words.

“I told you that in confidence! I told you what I feared. I trusted you!” I screamed at Steve. I turned and stormed out of the room, I felt patches of my skin tighten, I felt my nails bite into my skin. I heard Steve’s voice behind me.

“Fuck you!” I yelled as I slammed the door to my room behind me and locked it. I watched as Steve tried the handle, I heard a thump against the door and then something sliding against it.

“Katherine. Open the door.”

“Fuck off.” I growled out. I felt tears fall down my cheeks. I wandered into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face, hoping it would calm me down. I gasped when I looked in the mirror, there were more raised markings on my face than before, and it was spreading down my neck. I quickly filled the sink with cold water and dunked my head in. I held my breath for as long as I could then came back up. I sighed in relief as the markings started to fade away.

 

I decided that sublimation was the best plan, I dragged the paints out and popped the lids and started to paint the walls. Steve had tried to talk to me, so I turned on the laptop Tony had given me a few days before and started blaring music from it. Sam and Wanda had also tried to talk to me, I ignored them both. I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I just painted. When it got to midnight I sneaked out of my room and went down to the gym. I looked around, _I need something to take my anger out on!_ I then saw the punch bag. I stepped over to it, took what I thought was the right stance and began hitting it. Punch after punch, the bag started to bite and eat into the flesh of my knuckles. But each time I pulled back a bloody fist, it had almost healed, so I kept on hitting the object in front of me. My wrists had begun to hurt from the force.

“You should wrap your hands.”

I turned to see Natasha stood by the door, a slightly approving look on her face.

“Here to put me down?” I mocked.

“No. Actually, I thought I’d offer my services.”

“What services?” I crossed my arms across my chest.

“You want to beat the bastards that are after you. Especially a doctor Ingram.” Natasha spoke softly.

“What about it?”

“I’ll teach you. Once I think you’re capable enough, the moment I know you’re in control, you can join us on hunting them down.” Natasha replied.

“Why? Clearly you don’t like me, haven’t since the moment we met.”

“Not true, I didn’t trust you. But I’ve seen the data, the only threat you are, is to Exodus, but only if you let me train you.”

I thought about it for a moment and agreed. We made a deal to train at midnight each night, unless circumstances meant we couldn’t. The next few hours were spent with Natasha teaching me how to stand properly when fighting and blocking. I crawled back into bed at about four in the morning, I fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.


	27. Chapter 27

 

I woke to knocking at my door, I ignored it. When something splintering startled me I walked out into the living area of my room to see Steve staring down at my door, which was no longer attached to the frame.

“I- sorry. I- ah I wanted to talk.”

“Well it seems I have no choice but to listen.” I grumbled.

“Can we sit down?”

“Be my guest, but if you think I’m going to turn into a monster and attack you you’re probably better _standing_ at the door.”

“Katherine, please just listen.” Steve pleaded.

“Why should I? You betrayed me. I trusted you and now it wouldn’t surprise me if I get put down or better yet confined to a cage.”

“That’s _not_ going to happen. Will you just calm down for a minute and let me speak!” Steve’s voice was edged with anger and frustration. I sighed, _I’m not giving him a chance… I’m just angry at him_.

“Go on.” I sat on the sofa and leaned forward so my forearms were resting on my knees.

“I was _worried_. I thought if you kept having those nightmares that one day you’d break, from guilt, from fear, I don’t know. I mentioned it to the others in case there was anything we could do. If we could help you through it. And these people… they’re like a family to me… if you really were a threat and I kept it from them, I wouldn’t forgive myself…” Steve explained, he slowly made his way to sit beside me.

“Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“I’m sorry I broke your trust, but if something were to happen to you… I… I don’t know what I would do…” He confessed.

“I guess… I- I understand… but I’m still a bit mad that you told the others.” I turned to him, giving him a sad smile. I gently put my arms around Steve and hugged him, _I can’t stay mad at you forever, but for now… you’re going to have to earn my trust back._ I felt him sigh in relief, his arms came up to wrap around me frame and he squeezed me tight.

“Sam’s been arguing for you in your stead since yesterday.” Steve’s voice was quiet.

“He’s a good friend.” I smiled fondly.

“Are we… are we still okay for ice cream?” Steve spoke hesitantly.

“I suppose, on one condition!”

“Okay.” Steve quirked a brow at my exclamation.

“There is lots of it and you pay!”

Steve chuckled gently and gave me a final squeeze before pulling away, he ran his fingers through the front part of his hair and sighed relieved.

“And here I thought you were going to ask for something crazy.”

“Crazy? Me? _Never_!” I joked.

 

I looked behind Steve and noticed the door laid on the floor. Steve turned and remembered what he had done.

“Ah- I’ll a- I’ll fix that.” He waved it off, but a soft blush worked it’s way onto his cheeks.

“Breakfast?” I asked suddenly.

“Okay…” Steve answered uncertainly.

“Meet you in the kitchen in ten?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I stood up and ushered him over the door and out of the room. He glanced at the door before giving a small smile and walked away. I shook my head and chuckled gently before moving into the bathroom to get myself cleaned for the day.

 

I peered out the bedroom window as I tugged my hair up into a high ponytail. _Looks warm outside, shorts, tights and a top?_ A smile worked its way onto my lips as I teleported outside, I took a few steps and just stood trying to figure out whether it was warm enough or if it was too cold. Then I was back in my room.

“Katherine.”

The voice startled me, I turned to the source and found Steve stood in my bedroom.

“Holy _shit_ , you scared me half to death. What’s up?” I asked, placing a hand over my heart to hopefully calm its erratic beating.

“You should probably wear something that covers your arms and legs.” Steve advised.

“Okay, why?” My brow furrowed at Steve’s odd request.

“You’ll see.” He smiled and walked away, leaving me alone. _And that wasn’t completely weird!_ I shrugged it off and decided to get changed. I pulled on a pair of tights, high-waisted sailor shorts and an off-the-shoulder top. I grabbed a red leather jacket and left the room.

 

A whistle drew my attention to Sam looking me up and down, Steve was stood next to him, his eyes widened when he saw me.

“And who have you got dressed up for?” Sam asked, bumping Steve with his elbow.

“For _myself_.” I smiled back.

“Here!” Steve hollered, motioning to a bowl of cereal and a mug of coffee. I wandered over and started to eat.

“You look nice.” Steve smiles softly at me as he finished eating his own breakfast.

“Not too bad yourself.” I answered, looking him up and down.

“Give me a break.” Sam rolled his eyes and left the room. Steve and I chuckled and high-fived once Sam was definitely out of earshot. We didn’t talk as we finished eating.

“You ready to go?” Steve asked as he grabbed a brown leather jacket and shrugged it on. I placed my bowl and mug in the dishwasher and tugged on my own leather jacket and nodded.

“I think so.”

“Lets go!” He enthused. He offered his hand, I took it, we walked through the building, wandered down a set of steps into a dark room.

“Steve where are we?” I called out as he let go of my hand. The lights flickered on, I gasped in awe at the different vehicles filling the room, some were specifically for missions like the Quin-jets, of which there were three. Steve smiled at my reaction and motioned me to follow him.

“Shit!” I turned to the stairs. “I’ll be back in a minute!” I cried out as I ran up the stairs.

 

Steve was sat on a Harley Davidson when I returned to the garage. I stepped over quickly and held out my glass necklace out to him.

“Could you wrap it around my wrist? I can’t seem to fasten it.” I pleaded. Steve gently wrapped the leather cord around my wrist several times until it was certain it wouldn’t fall off and fastened it.

“How’s that?”

I shook my wrist and smiled when it didn’t come off. I nodded in silent acknowledgement.

“I suppose this is why you wanted covered arms and legs?” I wondered aloud as my fingers drifted over the bike.

“You ever ridden one before?” Steve questioned. I smiled fondly at the memory of being on a bike with James, despite the situation we were in.

“Yeah, once.” I shrugged. Steve held his hand out and helped me climb on. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested the side of my head against his back. The growl of the engine surprised me, then the wind was rushing past me.

 

I groaned as I climbed off the bike, Steve chuckled gently. I rubbed my legs trying to regain feeling in them.

“Are you alright?” Steve inquired.

“Yeah, just can’t feel my legs.” I laughed. Steve took my hand and started to walk down the street. We wandered through the streets for a few minutes, I was apprehensive as we passed people, luckily only a few people recognized Steve, mainly young children. Abruptly Steve stopped us in front of an ice cream parlor.

“And… here we are!” He enthused as he dragged me inside. We sat on stools by the counter and waited to get served, it was pretty busy for a Wednesday morning. Steve pointed up to the board hanging from the wall, I was shocked with all the different flavors but one caught my eye.

“What can I get you two this morning?” A woman a little older than me smiled cheerfully. Steve ordered some kind of mix of ice creams, then the woman turned to me. I pointed to the board and explained what I wanted.

“You’re trying to get the most out of me aren’t you?” Steve quirked a brow as he handed over several notes to the woman who promptly thanked him and walked away.

“Possibly.” I replied nonchalantly. We fell into quiet conversation as we waited.

 

“The man I saw. When I looked in your mind… who is he?” I probed gently.

“An old friend of mine.”

“How old? Like from before you got iced, old?” I quizzed. Steve nodded and hesitated a moment before he spoke.

“His name is Bucky. We were friends since we were kids, I thought… I thought he died. Turns out I was wrong…” His voice fell quiet, guilt seemed to fill his eyes.

“Died?” I questioned carefully.

“I’d rather not talk about it. But he survived… that’s when it gets complicated.” Steve finished, his tone telling me he didn’t want to talk any further. I reached for his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“I’m here if you _do_ want to talk about it.”

“Thank you Katherine.”

“Kate. Just call me Kate.” I beamed. All of a sudden two _huge_ sundae glasses were placed in front of us. I grinned and turned to Steve, his eyes were wide with surprise. I giggled at the expression on his face. I grabbed a spoon and promptly dug into the ice cream, I moaned softly as I tasted it. Steve laughed at my reaction.

“Good isn’t it?” Steve asked as he ate a spoonful of his own. I nodded profusely. I looked down at the orange and brown stripy scoops of ice cream filling the glass. _It tastes exactly like Terry’s chocolate orange! I haven’t had one in… I don’t remember!_ I carefully scooped a bit of ice cream up onto my spoon and offered it Steve.

“Say ah!” I teased. Steve rolled his eyes before leaning forward and talking the spoon into his mouth. His eyes screwed shut and he groaned as he pulled away. I laughed and continued to eat. Suddenly a spoon appeared in front of my lips.

“Say ah!” Steve mimicked. It was my turn to roll my eyes, I then took the ice cream off his spoon.

“Mmm, what is that?” _Whatever that is, it’s fucking delicious!_

“Honeycomb.” Steve replied amused.

 

Steve offered me his arm as we wandered through the streets, taking the long way back to the bike.

“Hey, Steve. Can we go in here?” I wondered, gesturing to the bookshop we were passing.

“Of course.” Steve smiled gently. We stepped inside, Steve went off to look at something while I wandered aimlessly, not looking for anything in particular. I skimmed over the graphic novels, my fingers lingering on ‘The Walking Dead’ novels. I then noticed the education section and decided to have a gander.

“What’re you looking at?” Steve questioned as he peered over my shoulder.

“Psychology. I am… _was_ a student. It’s what I studied. Well before this shit storm.” I replied. Steve chastised me for my language which I found amusing, America’s golden boy doesn’t like swears. I gently placed the book I was flicking through back on the shelf and started to leave. _I don’t exist remember… my life is royally fucked._ Steve caught up to me, a concerned look etched onto his face.

“I can talk to Tony. See if you can take your exams, find you a mentor.”

“And who are those results going to be awarded to? I don’t _exist_ Steve!” I argued.

“Tony is trying to fix that, or at least make you a _new_ identity.” Steve grasped my arm to stop me walking away.

“Okay… okay. I would like to continue my studies.” I admitted.

“Lets get back and try and sort something out hm?” Steve urged. I nodded in agreement.

 

I was occupied in my thoughts on the ride back to the compound. It was sometime in the early afternoon when we finally got back, after making a pit-stop for lunch at a diner. Steve took my hand as we walked up the stairs and through the building until we got to my door-less room.

“Hey… do you want to keep painting?” I questioned. Steve thought on it for a moment before nodding.

“Let me get changed.” Steve motioned down the corridor.

“Okay.” I smiled. When Steve had walked away, I went to my room and changed. As I waited for Steve to come back, I grabbed the paints, turned on the laptop, went to ‘Spotify’ and started to play the ‘Cheesy Hits!’ playlist. Steve joined me not long after. We spent the rest of the afternoon painting, while I finished coating the walls purple, Steve was stood with a thin brush coated in green paint creating fluid curling patterns on top of the purple, it looked as though some kind of plant was growing across the walls.

“Wow Steve, you’re really good!” I exclaimed happily.

“Thank you Kate.” He beamed.

“Okay love birds,” Sam appeared, leaning on the door frame. “Steve… seriously?” Sam gestured to the door on the floor.

“Accident.” Steve coughed.

“Anyway, I was wondering whether you wanted to go train? Sounds like we’re going to be shipped out soon.”

“Exodus?” I tried to hide how my hands shook.

“No. Something else entirely. But Tony has been going through all the data and thinks he knows where we can hit them where it hurts.” Sam grinned.

“Steve, you should go train. I can finish off here.” I told him.

“I’ll talk to Tony if I see him.” Steve answered as he put the brush down and started to walk out with Sam.

 

_Hit them where it hurts? I bloody well hope so!_ I thought to myself as I lost myself in painting.


	28. Chapter 28

“By Friday I want those essays done and that paper completed. Okay?”

“Yes, that’s all good!” I beamed as I gathered the books and pieces of paper scattered on the table.

“I’ll see you then Miss Holt.”

I watched as the man left, he greeted Tony at the door, they fell into conversation and walked away.

“So… how’re the studies coming?” Steve asked as he helped me gather everything.

“They’re going _really_ well.” I replied.

“Want me to help carry this stuff to your room?”

“Please!”

Steve and I fell into easy conversation as we walked to my room, it had been several weeks since our trip on the bike. Steve had convinced Tony to find me a mentor so I could continue my studies. Tony had kept a constant watch on the Exodus compound outside Bucharest, there was no activity. Steve had replaced the door to my room, and the walls were now fully painted. As we got closer to my room, Natasha and I acknowledged each other and continued on our way, she had continued to secretly train me each night. We were starting to become friends but it was taking some time, for me to earn her trust, and her to earn mine. Wanda was still mentoring me with some of my abilities, I could now influence more than one person and still freely move myself; even better I could change the perception of more than one person.

 

Steve placed what he was carrying on a desk in the corner of the room, he dropped himself on the sofa and switched on the TV. While I sat with earphones in listening to music and read through my material and did part of the work which I was asked to do, Steve sat and watched some sports channel. Sometime later a sandwich and glass of cranberry juice were placed in front of me, I pulled out my earphones and turned to see Sam stood beside me, watching what I was doing over my shoulder.

“You need to eat Hop-scotch.”

I looked to the clock to realize I’d worked through lunch. _Shit!_

“Thanks Sam. You come to kidnap Steve to go training?” I asked as I put my pen down and picked up the sandwich.

“Yeah.” Sam answered simply. He mussed my hair and dragged Steve away from the TV. They shouted their farewell as the door shut behind them.

 

Not too long after a knock on the door drew my attention away from my lunch, I shouted that it was open. Natasha walked in.

“Hey.” She smirked.

“Hi Nat.” I smiled back.

“I can’t train tonight, got other plans.”

“That’s fine. I can train by myself.” I replied.

“Sure you’re not achy after last night?”

“And if anyone heard that out of context they’d be wondering what the fuck is going on!” I laughed. “But to answer your question, I am a little achy, but got to power through it right? Can’t give up when the going gets tough, or achy in my case.”

“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear,” Natasha sounded proud. “But if you want to take the night, that’s fine. You’ve been working hard recently, both with me and Wanda.”

“Ah! … I’ll see how I feel later.”

Our conversation was interrupted by a phone ringing. Natasha sent an apologetic look before she quickly waved goodbye, took the phone from her pocket then answered it while walking out of my room. I went and sat on the sofa, I flicked through the channels before settling on some crime drama and then finished eating my lunch. _I should take a breath before I burn out, I have two days until Jared comes by again._

 

I hadn’t realized how tired I really was until I found myself in the grey nothingness, James’ figure was stood a few steps from me.

“Hey Bucky.” I smiled as I walked over, he turned to me and gave a half smile.

“Hi Katherine.”

“Everything okay?” I asked, my brow furrowing slightly, I gently placed my hand on his arm.

“Yeah.” He answered plainly.

“You sure?” I probed. He sighed, turned suddenly and wrapped his arms around me.

“Katherine… you’re never coming back are you? Exodus… they aren’t going to go away are they?” His voice broke a little as he spoke.

“One day…”

James pulled away, shaking his head and looking down.

“Exodus are too big, they aren’t going away, they won’t be brought down. Not easily… even with Steve and his friends helping…”

“I will come back to you! I promise!” I cupped his cheek, my eyes were wide with fear of what I was expecting to come.

“I… Katherine… I can’t…,” James turned away from me. “ I shouldn’t have gotten involved… I don’t… I don’t deserve to be with anyone after what I have done… after how many lives I have destroyed… I especially don’t deserve to be with _you_!”

“Don’t say shit like that James! Don’t you dare push me away!” I cried.

“Katherine…”

“Is this what you want?” I whispered. I felt my heart shatter when I watched him nod gently.

“Okay…” I wrapped my arms around me, trying to hold in the emotions trying to drown me.

“Maybe… maybe one day…?” James didn’t finish.

“Hm. One day. Promise?” I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. He stepped forward and wiped away my tears as they rolled down my cheeks. He pressed a final kiss against my forward and stepped away.

“I’ll always love you… I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t love you… but god damn it Katie…” He cried out.

“I’ll always love you too James. We’ll find our way back to one another someday. I promise!” I sniffed, trying to keep myself from breaking down. I saw his sad smile before I suddenly woke up in my room.

 

I kept to myself for the days following that… separation… I rarely left my room, didn’t really talk to anyone, when asked what was wrong I made up some bullshit answer, usually stress or nightmares. I wasn’t sure what James and I’s relationship would have been categorized as, we loved each other yes, but the whole boyfriend and girlfriend talk never came up, and I suppose now it wouldn’t for a long time. I continued training with Natasha but even she noticed something was distracting me. Which was why I found myself on the floor of the training room and covered in more bruises than usual.

“If you aren’t taking this seriously, just leave.” Natasha warned. I picked myself up off the floor, I wiped away the blood from the corner of my mouth.

“I’m good. Again!” I replied.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months. As time passed, my sorrow ebbed away and in its place I felt empty. The Avengers had gone on several missions to take down Exodus, but as one base was taken down, another three seemed to pop up somewhere. After some time, Wanda had pressed me to try and reveal what… thing… I was. Now I could change willingly, at first I was terrified, but now I was somewhat content. I still wore my necklace, but that’s all it was now, a piece of glass, clear glass. The line of red had faded over time, I’d tried contacting James, I’d receive silence in response but there was always the sound of a heartbeat if I focused really hard. He was still alive.

 

“Miss Holt.” I was drawn away from my thoughts by a stern voice.

“Sorry, I was elsewhere for a minute.”

“As I was saying.”

I listened to my mentor as he explained something quite complex, how he pointed out studies that supported and studies that opposed the theory. I hurriedly wrote down notes.

“Jared.” I interrupted.

“Yes.” He gently pushed his glasses back up his nose from where they had fallen as he had read.

“When do you think I’ll be able to take the exam?” I asked.

“In the summer.”

“For certain? You think I’m ready?” I questioned.

“You’re a bright young woman, and from these papers and essays, you’re capable enough to take the exam and pass with an exceptionally high grade.” Jared flicked away the bits of his blond hair falling over his eyes.

“Thank you, I can’t wait.” I grinned.

“Jay?” Tony’s voice came into the room, Jared and I turned to see Tony walking toward us.

“Hey Tony.” Jared stood and the two embraced. I’d learnt they were good friends, there was a lot of history between them. There had been a time where they parted on not good terms but some events had led them to reconnect. Jared often stayed for lunch or dinner, sometimes both depending when he came to tutor me.

“I’m borrowing him for a few.” Tony grinned.

“We were done here anyway. I want you to do some extra research on what we have done today.” Jared instructed. I rolled my eyes as I heard their laughter down the corridor.

“Jeez. Anyone would think he isn’t with Pepper.” I shook my head as I spoke to myself. I heard Sam laugh. I turned to face him as I gathered my belongings.

“Who knows.” Sam joked.

“What you got there?” I asked, leaning to the side to see Sam holding a shopping bag. He started to walk toward me and placed the bag on the table.

“Well I thought we could have a movie night. A bit of Indiana Jones and I’ve bought some snacks.” Sam started to remove items from the bag as he spoke.

“Popcorn. Nice. Chocolate. Nice. Nachos. Even nicer.” I laughed as Sam made a show of revealing each item.

“And I’m being _extra_ nice and letting Tony order us a _lot_ of pizza!” Sam burst out laughing. I followed suit and ended up having to lean on him to keep upright.

 

I glanced at the clock in the kitchen to see it was eleven o’clock, an hour or two and it would be lunch. I hauled out a massive cooking pot and placed it on the cooker. I riffled through the cupboards, I dumped three packets of spinach and ricotta filled tortellini along with a few tins of chopped tomatoes on the counter top and quickly retrieved a few stock cubes. I opened the fridge and removed a mix of vegetables and then moved back to the counter.

“What’re you doing?” Wanda’s accented voice floated into the room.

“Thought I’d make lunch for everyone.” I smiled softly.

“What’re you making?”

“It’s a vegetable soup with tortellini. It’s really nice!” I enthused.

“Can I help?” She wandered to my side.

“Could you cut that veg?” I gestured to the small mountain of various veg sat on the counter beside me. Wanda grabbed a knife from the holder and stood by my side, took a carrot and started slicing it.

“How’re you and Steve?” Wanda asked.

“We’re good. Why?”

“No reason.” She replied innocently.

“Wanda.” I warned.

“Okay. Just recently, you two have been getting _really_ close.”

“Yes, we’re friends. Just like me and Sam are. Like you and I are.” I exclaimed.

“Hm. Yes. But Sam and I don’t look at you like _he_ does.” Wanda replied. I brushed off what she said. _She doesn’t know anything_! I sighed and kept on preparing lunch.

 

“Jay, you want to stay for lunch?” Tony asked.

“Of course!” He answered.

“I’ll set another place then.” I teleported there and back, returning with a placemat and cutlery. There was seven of us altogether; Steve, Sam, Wanda, Natasha, Tony, Jared and I. I wandered over to the cooker and removed the soup and pasta, I returned and placed it on the heat proof mat in the middle of the table.

“Take what you want!” I smiled. It was chaos as the men, or rather _boys_ , fought over the serving spoon and the garlic bread in the middle of the table. The rest of us just rolled our eyes then we talked among ourselves until it settled down. A timer went off during the middle of the meal, I excused myself and strolled into the kitchen. I took a tray out of the oven, sat on baking parchment was lines of shortbread. I placed it on the side to cool and sat back down at the table.

“Katherine.” Tony grabbed my attention.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve found some interesting information on Exodus.” Tony stated.

“I don’t think now is the right time.” Steve interrupted, his gaze falling over my tense frame.

“Oh… of course. Come to the lab when you can.” Tony stood, gathered his and Jared’s empty bowls and took to the kitchen then placed them in the dish washer.

“I best be going.” Jared excused himself.

“I’ll walk you out.” Tony disappeared with Jared, their voices carrying down the corridor.

“Hop-scotch?” Sam spoke softly.

“Hm.” I fished around in my bowl with my spoon as I replied.

“You okay?” Sam asked.

“I’ve just lost my appetite.” I stood and placed my bowl in the fridge for later. I stood for a moment, unsure what to do. _I need some air._ Next thing I knew I was stood outside in the middle of the fields that were part of the compound. _I’d rather be able to eat my lunch without having to think about them. But Tony isn’t one for tact sometimes._

 

I spent a while wandering around the fields, I hadn’t been out here much, not unless I was going for a run with Steve. I kept walking, unsure of where I was actually going, then I heard the sound of running water. I followed the sound until I found a quaint little stream, the water crystal clear. I pulled off my sneakers and socks, then sat on the grass and gently placed my feet in the water, sighing happily at the cool feeling crawling up my legs. I laid back and closed my eyes, letting the heat of the sun bathe me while my feet stayed lovely and chilled.

“Thought I might find you out here.” Steve’s voice appeared at my side. I startled and sat bolt upright, my nails elongating into claws.

“Woah!” Steve backed up.

“Sorry.” I hung my head, my nails returning to normal. Steve sat beside me, took his shoes and socks off and dipped his feet into the water.

“You alright? Tony shouldn’t have brought that up.”

“I’m okay I guess. But I better go see what he’s found.” I stood up, turned and started to walk away.

“Kate,” Steve’s hand grabbed mine, stopping me from leaving. I turned my head to look down at him. “Stay a while. Tony isn’t going anywhere.”

I contemplated it a moment before pulling my hand away, a look for hurt shot over Steve’s face. I slowly sat beside him, then rested my head on his shoulder.

“I’m tired Steve.”

“Tired?”

“I want to get on with my life. I want to move past what’s happened, what’s bound to happen and _live_. I want to get a job, be _with_ _someone_ , hell I want to have kids someday. But while I’m here, while _they’re_ still around, there’s no life waiting for me.” I elaborated.

“You’re not happy here?” Steve’s voice fell.

“I am. And I’m not.”

“Is there anything I can do or?” His voice was quiet.

“Don’t think anyone can do anything.” I sighed.

“Can I hold you?” Steve asked quietly. I nodded and shuffled closer to him, Steve wrapped an arm around me and pulled me back until we were laid on the grass. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest, listening to the hard beat of his heart.

“Thank you. For listening. Again.” I smiled sadly.

“Anytime.” He whispered.

 

“You going to talk to Stark?” Steve broke the silence.

“I suppose.” I sat up and yawned, I then stood and stretched.

“Don’t be too long, Sam will be wanting to watch the film soon.” Steve chuckled as he stood. I started to walk away but turned with a small smile on my face.

“Y’know. You’re actually quite comfy.” I teased. Steve blushed softly and I teleported to outside Tony’s lab.

“I’m here.” I murmured as I stepped inside.

“Okay. You want to know what I found?”

“Preferably.” I sighed. Tony brought up a holographic screen and was flicking through the mass of information. Then he stopped, a picture was in the middle of the screen. My blood ran cold.

“Doctor Ingram. Or The Creator as he’s so eloquently named in the organization, is one of the main figures, he was appointed as one of the leaders, but still does the dirty work… Katherine?”

I felt the colour drain from my face, I felt my body go cold as I looked over the man who was responsible for everything.

“Go on.” I swallowed thickly.

“From what I’ve read, he’s the leader of the program that you’re a part of. What I don’t know is what the purpose of the program is. Not yet. But if we’re going to be taking _anyone_ down, it’s him.” Tony declared.

“As long as you let me _kill him_.” I growled out as I walked out of the lab.

 

“Hey Hop-scotch! I’ve been looking for you! You coming to watch the film?” Sam ran to my side and fell in step with me. I took a long slow breath to calm myself.

“Yes. I’m just going to change.”

“Oh! Any preference on what pizza?” Sam turned to ask.

“Ah… er… I can’t say no to barbeque chicken.” I grinned.

“Coming right up. Curtsey of the Bank of Tony.” Sam joked. I laughed in response. I quickly got changed into some sweats and found where everyone had gathered. The living area was pitch black except the extraordinarily large TV that lit up the sofas and tables in front of it. As I walked over I noticed that Wanda and Vision were taking up one sofa, I smiled at how close they were in all aspects. Sam shuffled over to make space between him and Steve so I could sit between them on another sofa. Tony took up a sofa to himself while Natasha and Rhodey sat comfortably on the remaining one.

“And let the film commence.” Sam announced, clicking the remote.


	29. Chapter 29

I sat curled up beside Steve, his arm was wrapped around me pulling me tight against me as my head rested comfortably in the crook of his neck. I bit into the slice of pizza I was eating and hummed satisfied, _Sam needs to tell me where this pizza place is, I’m making a lifetime investment in it!_ Steve took a sip of the beer he was holding, each time he laughed at the film the rumbles his body gave off tingled my body. It was growing late and we were into our fourth film, it must’ve been about two in the morning. I felt my eyes grow heavy with exhaustion. I involuntarily snuggled into Steve’s side, my arms wrapping around him.

“Let’s get you to bed.” I barely heard Steve’s voice whisper to me. I groaned when he shifted and moved to get up. I heard someone chuckle and lazily turned to see Sam with a shit-eating grin on his face. Weakly I flipped him off as I slumped on the empty seat where Steve had just been. I closed my eyes and felt myself be lifted up. Steve’s voice was quiet and I was too tired to give much effort into hearing what he was saying, and then he was walking as the vibrations of his steps were easing my mind awake. I was more or less coherent by the time Steve had reached the corridor leading to both mine and his room. Steve bent slightly to open the door to my room and stepped inside. We wandered to the bedroom and placed me carefully under the duvet. I whined when he withdrew, the warmth suddenly gone.

“Don’t go.” I begged in a whisper.

“Kate, go to sleep.” He replied quietly.

“Please.” I pleaded.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his hand cupping my cheek as he sat on the edge of the bed. I nodded weakly, my eyes becoming heavy once again. I heard Steve sigh as he stood. I felt the bed dip and a weight beside me as he laid down. I closed my eyes with a content sigh and fell asleep.

 

**“Steve… Stevie come on.” James pleaded, he was giving Steve his best puppy dog eyes that I had seen him use on me several times. They couldn’t see me, a young Steve and James, pre-war. I watched intently as they continued to debate about something.**

**“We gotta stick together!” James exclaimed, his hands grasping Steve’s shoulders.**

**“Fine Buck. Fine.”**

**“Hey! Don’t say it like I’m making you do the cooking, you can’t cook for heck!” James teased. The two walked through a door into an apartment, I followed. I watched as James picked through Steve’s clothes, _God he’s so… small!_ They packed up clothes and sentimental items. I wandered through the apartment, looking at pictures.**

**“Oh my God!” I gasped at a picture of Steve and James as kids.**

**“Come here you punk!”**

**I turned to see James embrace Steve tight, I tilted my head when the gesture seemed more intimate than what I thought. My eyes widened and I gasped as I watched James pull away and crash his lips to Steve’s. The whine that Steve let out seemed to fuel James who pushed him to the wall, his kisses becoming more passionate.**

**“We gotta be quick. Quiet.” James warned as he started to undress them both, Steve fiddling with the buckle of James’ trousers. I turned away, _what the hell is this? What on Earth is going on!_ And that’s when I started to hear the muffled moans and wet slick sounds which I really didn’t want to know the origin of.**

I sat bolt upright, breathing heavy. A small whine drew my attention to the man sleeping soundly beside me.

“Steve…” I whispered. As he shifted onto his back I couldn’t help but notice the bulge in his sweats. _Is Steve… Gay… no… Bi?_ I was shocked from the revelation, even more shocked that James never mentioned it, _that wasn’t just a dream. That was a memory._

“Buck.” Steve groaned softly, he sighed and fell quiet. I leaned over and stroked Steve’s hair, gently running my fingers through the blond strands, he turned onto his side and he was silent. _That was… odd._ I rubbed my eyes and laid back down and tried to get a few more hours of sleep.

 

When I woke again, Steve was long gone, where he slept was cold. I frowned but decided to get up anyway. After showering, I dressed and walked into the kitchen yawning.

“So…” Sam slid next to me.

“So?”

“You and Steve. Saw him come out of your room this morning.” Sam smirked.

“Drop it Sam.”

“Oh hell no! I wanna know!”

“Want to know what?” Wanda’s voice floated into the kitchen.

“Noth-“

“Steve left Hop-scotch’s room this morning.” Sam interrupted.

“Oh, ‘we’re friends. Just like me and Sam are. Like you and I are’” Wanda mocked.

“Oh come on! You’re ganging up on me! Nothing happened!” I exclaimed. They gave each other a look, nodded and casually walked out of the room. I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair. _God damn it!_

“What did they do?”

My head shot up to see Steve opposite me, a cup of coffee in his hands. I looked him in the eye and flashes of what I saw when I was asleep, and what state I found him in when I woke, I felt my cheeks become heated at the thought.

“N- nothing.” I brushed off his questioning.

“Ugh. Damn car!”

Steve and I turned to see a rather soaked Jared walk into the dining area.

“Hi…” I spoke, my voice holding confusion. _Jared isn’t meant to be here today._ My brow furrowed.

“I’m here to see Tony. Not here for tutoring.” He huffed.

“You mentioned a car?” Steve added.

“My car broke down. Totally dead.” Jared complained.

“Jay! You’re here!” Tony called. Jared excused himself and left to spend time with Tony.

 

“You got anything planned for today?” Steve inquired.

“Tempted to go swimming later. But until then? I’m not sure.” I answered. Steve nodded, gave me a farewell saying that he was going to go to the gym and train. After I had eaten breakfast I decided to sit in the library, I could relax and read, and I wouldn’t be harassed by Wanda and Sam. I found a book I hadn’t read in a long time and sat in the comfiest chair in the library and read. Vision had brought me lunch, supposedly a peace offering from Wanda and Sam, when I had read through into the afternoon. When I had finished the book, I looked up to check the time but had to give my eyes a few minutes to adjust, my vision slightly blurred. As I stepped out of the library intending to go change and go for a swim, Tony hollered and motioned for me to follow him.

“Wanda and Steve say your training is coming along really well.”

“Yeah, it is. But what’s that…” Tony led me through to the lab and pointed. My brow furrowed as I stepped forward, my fingers running over the odd fabric.

“Maybe you could come along with us…so _you_ can bring down Exodus, use their weapon _against_ them.”

“Weapon.” I stepped back.

“Katherine I… shit sorry… I-“

“I know what you mean.” I replied. I picked up the suit and looked it over.

“It’s similar to Natasha’s. But it will allow for the… changes… your body can do.” Tony noted as he picked up the gloves. He insisted I put them on.

“Go ahead.” He pressed. I watched as my nails elongated into claws and broke through the fabric, I raised a brow, I allowed them to turn back and the fabric knitted back together, as though it had never been broke.

“Wow!” I gasped, a smile tugging at my lips.

“You should try it on and train, just to see whether it does properly fit.”

I embraced Tony tightly, and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you!” I exclaimed. I took all the gear with me and left the room, I greeted Jared as I passed him. A cold shiver ran down my spine when he smiled at me, I stopped a moment but brushed it off as the air conditioning in the corridor which was really bloody cold.

 

When I had changed and wandered to the training room, I bumped into Steve.

“Wow!” He stepped back, looking me over.

“Want to spar?” I asked.

“Sure.”

And that’s how I ended up on the floor twenty minutes later, aching and bruised, not to mention exhausted. Steve offered me his hand, I took it and he pulled me up. My heavy breathing had now started to calm. It was silent until my stomach growled.

“You’re getting better at fighting. Just need some more training. And from the sounds of it. Someone needs dinner.” Steve joked. I laughed in response and told him I’d meet him there. I changed out of my suit and placed it carefully in a draw in my room and changed into sweats. _Looks like I’ll have to go swimming after dinner!_ I frowned, I was hoping to swim earlier on in the day, clearly that was not meant to be, but I still had the chance to swim. Dinner went by uneventfully, I was still a bit pissed at Sam and Wanda, so I chose to blank them, just for a bit of fun really.

“Jared I told you, you can borrow a car, or I can get a driver.”

“It’s late Tony.”

“Fine. Then stay the night.” Tony insisted.

“You sure that’s okay?” Jared asked.

“My place, my rules.” Tony grinned.

 

It was pitch black when I decided to finally go swimming. I grabbed a towel and my swim suit and wandered to the swimming pool. I grinned when I found it was empty. I quickly changed and placed my belongings on one of the chairs in the corner of the room. The pool was huge, I think Vision had said it was the same size as an Olympic pool. I dived in and stayed under water for as long as I could. I opened my eyes and swam under the surface, I brushed my fingers against the bottom of the pool. I noticed my eyesight was much clearer, it was sharper, I looked to my arms and noticed the raised markings covering my skin. I involuntarily gasped, a mass of bubbles leaving my mouth and floating to the surface. I panicked momentarily thinking I would be drowning. But it never came. My brow furrowed as I breathed. My fingers went to my neck, I felt small flaps and gasped again in shock. I pushed myself to break the surface of the water and swam to the side of the pool. I spluttered and coughed up some water. My fingers shakily came to my neck again, but it was smooth. There was nothing there.

“What. The. Fuck!” I hissed. I shook my head and brushed it off. _Clearly that’s new!_ I alternated between swimming above the water, then swimming below and getting used to this newfound ability. As the chlorine started to irritate my eyes causing them to shut close, I pushed myself to sit on the edge of the pool and rubbed my fists over them.

 

Suddenly something was wrapped around my throat. I cried out as my hands flew up to grip whatever was being held around my throat. I started to thrash, trying to break away from whoever’s grip I was in, my body was desperate for air. I felt someone lean close to my ear. Their breath wafting across my ear and the side of my face. I could hear the smirk in their voice as they spoke.

“Hello Miss Holt.”

“Jared!” I choked.

“Not quite.” The voice changed slightly as they spoke like it was two toned. I fought against their grip. I took my hands away from what I assumed was rope that was being pressed harshly against my throat and tried to grab the man behind me, tried to pull on their hair. That resulted on the rope being pulled tighter. I kept on trying to fight my way out of their grip. I then pushed myself back creating a gap between the rope and I, I sent my elbow backwards, a grunt of pain emanating from the man. His distraction allowed me to slip a bit into the pool. But the rope was wrapped around the throat again. This time I screamed and kept on screaming while I could. I tried pulling them down into the pool but it was no use, they were _much_ stronger.

“This won’t kill you. Just means I can get you out of here and back _home_ easier.” Jared’s voice chuckled. My vision blurred slightly as I kept fighting against their control and the lack of oxygen making my actions less and less powerful. I was becoming weaker by the second. I felt my trachea start to crunch and collapse due to the force he was holding me hostage. A banging on the door followed by a loud crash gave me hope. That was until he used the rope to slam my head against the edge of the pool, I cried out and fell below the surface of the water as they stepped back. It took me a moment to recover but I managed to pull myself out of the pool, I was slightly disorientated but could walk.

“What is going on!” An accented voice yelled. _Wanda. No!_ I heard the click of a gun, with the last ounce of energy I had I teleported in front of Jared. I fell back as pain erupted in my chest. I hit the cold tiled floor, my head colliding with the hard floor with force. I grunted as I watched through blurring vision what was happening. Jared collapsed next to me, going into convulsions and fits. Then the façade fell away. It never was Jared.

 

“Katherine! Stay with me! Vision get help!” I heard Wanda yell and beg. I tried to tell her I was alright but I couldn’t get the words out, instead I was showered in blood as I coughed and spluttered. When I weakly brought up my fingers to my line of sight, my whole hand was covered in blood. I tried to sit but the room span and I screamed in agony.

“Don’t move!” Wanda’s fingers buried themselves in my hair. “I can’t lose anyone else!” She cried. I gently reached up and brushed away the tears rolling down her cheeks, _what is she on about? I’m fine, I’ll heal._ I tried to tell her that, that I’ll heal. That I’m fine. But I was showered in blood again as I spluttered.

“What the _fuck_ happened here!” I heard Sam shout. Then I heard hurried footsteps and a presence beside me. Then I felt someone grip my hand tight.

“Kate.” _Steve!_ _I’m fine. I’m fine!_ But that’s when I started to feel cold. That’s when I started to struggle to breathe. That’s when I started to feel numb. That’s when it all went black.


	30. Chapter 30

I could hear beeping. Constant beeping. And a whirring sound. It was all very obnoxious. I tried to open my eyes but they felt like lead. I just relaxed into the darkness. I heard voices but they were all muffled, I couldn’t tell who or what they were saying. But they sounded angry and upset. Then there was arguing. Then I was pulled under into the abyss.

 

**“Miss Holt. This is the last of the injections. You have been very receptive to the treatment. You know what your next mission is yes?” Doctor Ingram spoke into my ear.**

**“Yes sir.” I replied.**

**“Good little girl.”**

**He pressed a kiss to my forehead, my temple, my cheek, lips and neck. I lay and allowed him to exact his pleasure, I didn’t fight, only co-operated when I was told to.**

**“Now go.” He ordered as he stood, straightening his uniform. I sat and swung my legs over the edge of the metal table and straightened my own uniform before walking out.**

**It was dark in the compound, midnight perhaps. I skulked through the corridors, sabotaging all the doors, all the exits. I found the gas tank and severed the pipes with a flick of my claws. I sauntered back up the stairs, I activated the fire alarm and waited. As I heard their footsteps, their panicked voices, I grinned as I felt my form shift and change into the creature I was made into. I stalked through the corridors separating them and slaughtering them where they stood. The android didn’t last a second as I manipulated his form, crushing it into a lump that fell to the floor. Then its _little girlfriend_ appeared, I was overjoyed by the horrified look on her face. I teleported to be in front of her and fazed my hand go through her. There was a moment of fear before I gripped her spine and twisted, the light from her eyes leaving as I pulled away, a gaping hole being left behind. She dropped like a rock. Next was the red head, she was more of a fight, but my claws slicing her carotid artery sorted her out, she too dropped like a rock. Her blood pooling around her. Then was Stark. He didn’t survive the blast of the gas tank erupting, which in turn took out another of the team. And finally came America’s golden boy and his friend in the bird suit. We fought, but I kicked out bird boy’s feet from under him then crushed his trachea with a swift stomp. He died more painfully.**

**“Katherine please. Stop!” The Captain begged. _Pathetic!_ He was difficult at first, but once that shield was taken away, he was weak, exposed. It didn’t take long to pin him to the wall, my claws against his throat as my hand delved into his chest. His eyes were wide with fear, pain and shock.**

**“Please,” He choked. “You… aren’t… a… monster…”**

**“Say that to all your friends, your _family_ , I’ve just _murdered_ ,” I grinned. “Say that to your _dead_ friend over there.”**

**“Kate.”**

**“I was always a monster. You were all too trusting.” And with that I ripped out his heart and slit his throat. A spray of blood covered my face.**

**“But that still leaves one more. Not an Avenger no. Am I right?” I shouted, before I turned and saw a figure stood a few meters from me. He answered in a foreign language. I sauntered over, this figure was blank of all expression and emotion, but I saw the rage boiling under the skin and just behind their eyes.**

**“Like my little massacre. You should appreciate such death. I’m sure the Winter Soldier has done much worse.”**

**“No. But that depends what I do to you.” He replied. He moved like water, and I found myself trapped against the wall, a cold metal hand tight around my neck. First my trachea collapsed, then the arteries in my neck burst, but I was still alive, my healing capabilities beyond imaginable. But then there was a crunch, he had shattered my spine.**

I woke up choking, unable to breathe, something was down my throat. I panicked.

“Relax! Relax!”

I started to choke on the tube before I was pushed back and given instructions to relax and cough. As I did, the tube was removed. I sat up again, fear coursing through my veins.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

A cardboard tray was placed in front of me, I tried to throw up but there was nothing there, so all I did was heave until I was throwing up bile. My throat burned and my eyes watered. I was shaking when it all stopped. I fell backwards and the beeping sounds came back into focus. I groaned softly and closed my eyes.

“Kate…” A hoarse voice called softly. I turned to my right to see Steve sat, his eyes wide and filled with tears. I then noticed the thick beard growing on jaw.

“Since when… when did you… grow a beard…?” I spoke slowly. My throat hurting me, my voice raw. He remained silent. He stood and leaned forward, his hand cupping my cheek carefully.

“Steve?”

“You’re alive.” He cried.

“W- what happened?” My brow furrowed in confusion.

“You’ve… you’ve been in a coma for two months.”

My eyes widened in shock.

“T- two _months_?”

“Yeah Hop-scotch.” Sam’s joyful voice came into earshot. I turned to see him and the rest of the Avengers in the doorway. _They’re alive. It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare._ But as they each came in, I kept seeing the way I killed them. Wanda walked in and hugged me tightly. I grunted in discomfort and she pulled away. She had tears rolling down her cheeks. Then it was I who was to cry. I didn’t understand. _What happened!_ The nightmare had scarred me, it was too lifelike and I feared it to be the future rather than a construct of my imagination. _The night at the pool, what happened? Jared? But it wasn’t Jared._ I sobbed as the confusion, fear and shock became too much.

“Everyone. Out.” Steve ordered. And the next thing I knew it was just Steve and I.

 

“What _happened_?” I implored.

“You were shot, and suffered head trauma. You should be dead.” Steve replied bluntly.

“That bad?” I asked. Steve stood and grabbed the patient notes at the end of the bed. He flicked through the pages then handed me it as he sat down again. I gasped as I read down the exceptionally long list of issues I had.

“I should be paralyzed at least!”

“You heal unbelievably fast, but whatever was in that bullet just caused your body to shut down.” Steve admitted.

“Oh…”

“I should go. Let you rest.” Steve stood and started to walk to the door.

“Don’t! I don’t want to be alone!” I cried out. Steve’s gaze settled on me, a look of pity overcame him as he returned and sat by my side. I reached out my hand which he took gingerly and I let myself relax into the bed as Steve caressed the back of my hand with his thumb. I felt exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. I let my eyes close and I soon fell asleep.

 

“Tony we _can’t_ go in blind. I get you’re angry, so am I. But going in without a plan will put us all at risk!” Steve argued.

“They _killed_ my _friend_! Just so they could have _her_! I won’t stand by and let them get away with that!” Tony argued back. _Is Tony mad at me? Wait… Jared is dead? This is all my fault!_ I whined softly as I opened my eyes.

“Jared?” My voice was hoarse.

“Exodus murdered him. Stuffed his body in the trunk of his car! Like he didn’t even matter!” Tony spoke angrily. I hung my head, knowing I was responsible.

“But Jared was with us?” I replied, confusion filling my voice.

“They did that trick you can do. Changing your appearance.” Steve noted.

“But this… agent… assimilated everything Jared knew. So he looked like Jared, talked like Jared, knew stuff that only Jared knew.” Tony added.

“I’m sorry Tony. If I had known… if I thought they would try something like that. I-I never would’ve come to you guys.” I spoke quietly, ashamed of what had happened because of me. Then I was being held awkwardly. I glanced to up see Tony, a sad smile on his face.

“You’re going to get better, you’re going to get in shape. You’re going to train. Then we’re going to destroy those bastards once and for all!” Tony declared.

“Okay.” I whispered.

“This was their fault. Not yours.” Tony added after a moment. _It doesn’t change the fact another person got killed to get after me. How many more have to die?_ Tony left after that, wishing me well.

 

Walking was hard at first, I kept stumbling and couldn’t keep upright for long. If it wasn’t Steve supporting me it was Wanda. It was mainly those two who visited the most, I was told to stay in the infirmary until the doctor was certain I was fit. The others visited every so often, bringing food and news of what had been going off in the compound downstairs. What I found the hardest was sleeping, most nights I was lucky if I got an hour or two before the nightmares woke me and wouldn’t let me go back to sleep. I was given tablets to knock me out, but that escalated to sedation when I still couldn’t find sleep. Despite my serious lack of appetite, the nurses along with Steve eventually got me to eat three meals a day. After some time, I was allowed to stay in my own room, but wasn’t allowed to go beyond it. Sam or Vision usually brought me food, Wanda had moved the TV into my bedroom and we spent hours watching TV, sat together on the bed.

“Thank you…” Wanda spoke softly.

“Hm? What for?” I questioned, my brow furrowing.

“That night at the pool.” She replied.

“Oh. I wasn’t going to let you get hurt because of me.” I admitted.

“You took a bullet for me.” She whispered.

“You’re my family. I’d do anything to keep you safe.” I quietly spoke.

“Thank you Kate.” She smiled.

“Plus Vision would miss you.” I added. I noticed how Wanda blushed at my words.

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt you ladies, but Wanda we gotta go!” Steve was stood at the doorway. I looked up and down at his uniform, _they’ve got a mission!_

“I’ll see you later Kate.” Wanda pressed a kiss to the top of my head then jumped off the bed. She waved a goodbye as she left the room.

“Come on, I’m going to help you upstairs.” Steve walked towards me.

“Wha- why?” I exclaimed.

“I’ve made a bed for you upstairs. Near the kitchen and bathroom. Means you’re not struggling.” Steve gathered me in his arms and carried me to where he’d set up a rather comfy looking set up.

“Nice!” I grinned.

“Promise me you’ll take it easy until we get back!” Steve implored as he set me down on the airbed, his fingers gently brushing my hair away from my face.

“Promise!” I smiled softly. Steve suddenly embraced me, squeezing me unbelievably tight.

“Good.” He hummed. I watched as he pulled away, his hand came up to cup my cheek, his thumb caressing my skin gently. His gaze roamed over my face, a smile playing on his lips, but there was worry in his eyes. I relaxed into his touch, sighing gently. It was gone all too soon.

“Cap we have to go!” Sam called from the doorway, his tone urgent. Steve pulled away and dropped a phone into my lap.

“Something happens, there’s an emergency number.” Steve told me.

“Thank you. Now go! Sam’s getting impatient!”

“You bet I am!” Sam called. Steve took a step away then hesitated. My brow furrowed in confusion, _what’s wrong?_ He quickly turned around and knelt in front of me and swiftly placed a kiss on my forehead. He stood and jogged out of the room, disappearing down the corridor. I glanced over to Sam who was grinning at the door. He gave me a thumbs up, winked then quickly disappeared down the corridor after Steve.


	31. Chapter 31

I was growing bored. The Avengers had been gone several hours, I didn’t know why they had left, no one had told me. And I hadn’t heard anything from them either. I had sat and watched Netflix for a while from the airbed Steve had so kindly set up for me. A sudden crashing sound from the kitchen startled me, I started to shake involuntarily as irrational fears filled my mind. I felt my body start to change, my fingers went up to my face and neck, raised marking swirling across my skin. Then my nails elongated into claws. My eyesight was sharp, every detail undoubtedly flawless. I stood and stalked out of the room and kept to the wall of the corridor as I got closer and closer to the kitchen. I got into a crouch as I neared the doorway, then I heard a voice go silent.

 

I span around the corner, my arms poised to attack whoever was coming closer. I was met by an arrow being pointed a few centimeters from my head.

“Katherine?” The blond man in front of me withdrew the bow and arrow. Sensing no threat I felt myself change back.

“It’s Clint isn’t it?” I mused.

“Yup!” He smiled, Clint turned back and shouted over his shoulder. “It’s okay, you can come out!”

Suddenly there was a bark of a dog and it came bounding towards us. Then small hurried footsteps came into earshot. Two small children ran to Clint and wrapped their arms around him while the dog came to me and started sniffing at me legs.

“This is Katherine.” Clint spoke softly. The two children said a quiet hello then disappeared back into the kitchen. The archer put his hand out, I took it and he pulled me close.

“Thank you. For what you did for Wanda.” He whispered as he embraced me.

“She’s family.” I smiled as I pulled back.

“Heard you’re in a real shit-storm. Wanda’s told me a lot about you.”

“Same goes for you.” I replied

“Really?”

“Only good things. Only good things.” I chuckled.

 

Clint and I sat on the sofa while his two older kids sat on the airbed and the youngest one was on Clint’s lap. His dog, Lucky, was sat by our feet. While his kids were absorbed in watching the TV, Clint and I were talking quietly but animatedly.

“How come you’re here?”

“Well Laura went to see some family and these troublesome lot wanted to see Auntie Nat and Auntie Wanda. But looks like they aren’t here right now.”

“They went on a mission I think. Last minute kind of thing, even I don’t know what it was about.” I admitted.

“They left you alone? After what happened?” Clint asked incredulously.

“No choice.”

“Mhm. Cap would’ve stayed otherwise. Y’know, guy has a bit of a thing for you.” Clint replied.

“God why does everyone keep saying that, we’re friends.”

“Have you seen the way he looks at you?” Clint raised a brow a me. When I really thought about it, he was right, they all were. _Do I like Steve? I… I don’t know…_ _he’s sweet and he’s done so much for me. He helped me stay here. He pushed for the team to find out about Exodus, to help me. We spent a lot of time decorating my room, helping me paint. We bonded yeah but… surely he couldn’t, I couldn’t. But that smile of his always puts me at peace. His touch… his lips… Oh God! What am I thinking!_ I snapped out of my spiraling thoughts as Clint gently placed his youngest child, Nathaniel, in my lap.

“Gonna make us some coffee. Hopefully won’t break anything this time.” He chuckled.

“Milk and Sugar for me please!” I called as Clint started to leave the room.

 

Suddenly the phone Steve had given me started ringing, but I couldn’t reach it because it was sat on the airbed and I had Clint’s kid on my lap.

“Hey, could you pass me that?” I asked the two eldest. The girl picked the phone up and took a few steps toward me, she smiled shyly as she passed me the phone. I thanked her and answered it.

“Hello? Steve?”

“Is everything okay over there?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it?” My brow furrowed.

“Just… doesn’t matter. We’re coming back.” Steve replied.

“Tell Nat and Wanda that Clint is here, and has guests.” I spoke cheerfully. I heard Steve chuckle over the phone and agree.

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Be safe.” My voice was quiet. Then the call ended. Clint came in a few minutes later carrying two mugs of steaming coffee.

“They’re on their way back.” I mumbled as I looked down at the mug he handed me, blowing on it gently.

“I didn’t quite catch that.” Clint replied. I glanced up to see him placing two devices on the table beside the sofa. My eyes widened when I realized what was going on.

“Shit, you’re…” I motioned to the small devices.

“I can lip read just fine.” He answered. I made a small ‘oh’.

“Can’t imagine… well I can a little… but I mean, what it’s like to not y’know… hardly hear anything” I awkwardly spoke.

“Wait. You saying that-“

“I had a condition when I was young. Don’t know what they call it over here but back home it’s called Glue Ear. I know what wearing aids are like.” I explained.

“Ah! Well I need Stark to have a look at mine, they’re a bit busted up. Totally not my fault, I had no hand in the busting of them up.” Clint grinned. So while we waited for the team to get back, Clint told me stories of his absolute cock-ups and funny stories about the rest of the team. It was odd, he knew my story, what had happened to me, what I could do. But he never looked at me like I was a monster, he didn’t seem scared of me, or wary, just acted like he would with anyone else.

 

“Auntie Nat!” The two eldest shouted in unison as a figure appeared in the doorframe. She embraced them both and managed to pick them up, resting them on her hips as she walked into the room.

“Hey Clint.”

“Everything okay Nat? Katherine says you all went on a impromptu mission.”

“It’s fine. Crisis averted.” She smiled softly. She dropped the kids back onto the ground and started talking to them. She walked over and took Nathaniel from my grasp and started to leave the room, the other two kids following her.

“How about we see what you can do?” Clint smirked.

“Bring it on!” I grinned.

“Race ya!” He yelled as he stood and started to run out the room. _The absolute cheater!_ But then a wide smile fell on my lips as in a flurry of blue mist I appeared in the training room, I leant on the wall inspecting my nails in that awful cliché way as I waited for Clint to join me. He stumbled through the door, a slight heaving to his chest.

“Aw, come on! That’s not fair! I forgot you can do that!” He complained. We spent a long while sparring, in the beginning we were an equal match. Then I realized he had been pulling his punches when in the next moment he’d swept my legs from under me and I found myself on the floor.

“Nat’s taught you good” He complimented as he gave his hand to help me up. I smirked as I took his hand, pulled myself up and quickly kicked his feet from under him and flipped him. He groaned as he hit the floor.

“Yeah, she has.” I laughed.

 

“Clint!” Wanda’s accented voice floated into the room. We turned to face her, Clint pushed himself off the floor and rushed over to her and embraced her tightly.

“Glad to see you really are safe!” He grinned.

“It’s good to see you too.” She spoke happily. I smiled at the two of them, they were close, and it wasn’t surprising why. After what happened in Sokovia.

“Stark has ordered food for everyone, everyone’s upstairs choosing a film as we speak.” Wanda informed us.

“Lets go join them then!” I laughed.

“Race you!” Clint shouted. I didn’t give him chance to say, ‘no abilities’, as I appeared beside Steve in the living area, blue mist dissipating.

“Hello you.” I grinned as I startled Steve.

“Holy…” Steve caught himself.

“Oh! Captain America nearly became a hypocrite! Again.” Tony teased.

“Shut it Stark!” Steve retaliated. I laughed as I sat on the sofa, sitting close to Steve’s side. At some point his arm had ended up being wrapped around me, I didn’t notice it really. We ate and drank whatever Tony or Natasha had hauled out of the fridge, we laughed and joked and ‘awed’ when Clint had to go put his kids to bed in his room in the compound. But as the others drank for fun, not drinking too much, but drinking quite a bit, I was trying to drown out the memories of the night at the pool, and the nightmare I had while in my coma. But Steve cut me when he noticed what I was doing, he pulled me tight against him and told me everything was alright. That he was there. That nothing was going to happen to me. His words of reassurance led me to cuddle up to him as I began to relax as the next film started. Sometime during it Steve’s hand had ghosted over to my leg, his hand coming over to cup my knee but ever so slowly as the film went on his hand began to crawl higher. I sighed softly as his thumb started to rub small circles into my thigh.

“You want to go to bed?” He whispered in my ear. I nodded gently, knowing I wouldn’t be able to stay awake much longer.

 

Steve coaxed me from my seat and walked me to my room. This time when he helped me into bed, he didn’t stay, he left swiftly. But I fell asleep too quick to care. My dreams were pleasant, just white static with the odd childhood memory thrown in, then the odd recollection of James. _I miss him, so fucking much… if he only knew what had happened!_ But all good things must come to an end. I saw myself ferociously attack Natasha as we sparred, her body flung across the room until it rolled to a stop. I saw _him_. Ingram. A smug look on his face as he whispered in my ear, as he told me what I was. What I was becoming. And I watched in horror as the nightmare from my coma happened again, but this time in more detail rather than hopping from place to place. I bolted upright, gasping for air, my body was shaking violently. I rushed to the bathroom to empty my stomach down the toilet. _What the fuck is going on!_ When it was over, I started to cry. I feared it wasn’t just nightmares, I feared it was what was going to happen. But how could I ever be certain? I looked to the clock to see it was three in the morning. I stood on shaky legs and slowly made my way to the kitchen. I hesitated when I passed Steve’s room. I stood for a moment and raised my hand to knock, but then thought better of it. I had to fill a glass several times with water as I drank them down in one go, trying to calm my panicked body.

“What’s happening to me?” I whispered, a few tears rolling down my cheeks.

 

I slowly wandered back to my room, but this time when I hesitated outside Steve’s room I managed to knock. I had to wait a minute or two but eventually a sleepy Steve opened the door.

“Kate? Is something wrong?”

“I had a nightmare. Or… I think they’re nightmares. And that’s even scarier.” I admitted in a whisper. Steve wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his room and toward his bedroom. He turned a lamp on, giving enough light so we could see each other. He noticed my tear stained face and gently wiped his thumb across the wet lines flowing down my cheeks. And so I sat and told him everything, excluding James. I knew he would tell the others and I knew it would be for the best. He sat and listened, his hands gripping mine as I started to sob. By the end, I was a crying mess.

“If it was more than a dream, we won’t let that happen. _I_ won’t let that happen!” Steve vowed.

“I’m just so scared Steve. What I saw… I can’t tell what is a dream and what isn’t anymore!” I cried out. Swiftly Steve pulled me to him, he hushed me as I started to sob again. I felt lost and alone. Slowly Steve coaxed me into his bed, wrapping the duvet around me tightly, gingerly he wrapped an arm across my body and pulled me to him.

“I promise. They won’t make you a killer.” Steve whispered into my hair. I lay there awake for what felt like hours, sleep was evading me. Steve was still awake as well, as if he wouldn’t sleep until he knew I was. Suddenly a low humming sound started behind me, I felt Steve’s chest reverberate at my back. Slowly Steve began to hum some kind of song, not one that I recognized. But whatever it was, I soon felt my eyes become heavy and my mind start to go hazy. I whined when I let exhaustion take over and pull my body into sleep.

 

I could feel bright light trying to penetrate my eyelids, and a warmth was covering my arms. I stirred a little before settling back down when darkness filled the room, the light being banished.

“I’m sorry Katherine. You trusted us, trusted _me_ , to keep you safe, I promised that you would be safe here. And I failed you. You got hurt on my watch, you ended up in a coma because we… because I wasn’t being vigilant enough.” Steve’s soft voice filled my ears, I felt his fingers slowly combing through my hair. It was having an exceeding calming effect.

“I care about you. A lot more than I really should. But you do things to me Kate. Make me feel things I didn’t think I would… I don’t even know why I’m even telling you this, you’re asleep for god sake. But I can’t seem to tell you when you’re awake, so asleep will have to do for now.” He sighed sadly. I shifted slowly, pretended to stir in my sleep and turned to face him. He fell silent for a long time, to make sure I was still sleeping.

“What I wouldn’t give to share your bed with you. To keep you safe, to help you on nights like the one just gone. But I’m pretty sure this is all one-sided. I don’t know how or why but I get a feeling your heart is taken by someone else. I just hope maybe… maybe you could share what space you have left with me…” I felt him climb off the bed and start to pace the room as he spoke. He continued on his speech about how he feels, how he doesn’t know how I feel but he hopes, _god he hopes_ , that I could someday feel the same. It made a part of my heart that had been empty and hurt after James’ departure jump a little.

“Barton said you had been training with Nat secretly, that you’re capable enough to come along on missions with us. It’d be great to fight by your side, but the idea of seeing you hurt, seeing you scared. It doesn’t bear thinking about.” Steve mumbled. And in that moment I realized, out of all the Avengers, the one who would grip my heart in fear the most if they were to be hurt, would be Steve. And it wasn’t just because of the relationship between him and James.

 

I whined softly, hoping to draw him away from his current spiraling thoughts. I felt the bed dip as Steve climbed back on. I turned to face him and cuddled closer to him. _What am I doing? What am I thinking?_ I silently exclaimed. Steve’s fingers brushed against my cheek delicately. I let my eyes flutter open at the touch and as I looked up and met his gaze I realized it was true what they had all been saying. The way Steve looked at me, the intensity in his gaze, I just couldn’t hold back the small gasp that broke free of my lips.

 


	32. Chapter 32

It had become awkward between me and Steve after that morning. We no longer trained together, or went for a run together in the morning. We couldn’t be alone in the same room together. And everyone had noticed. I couldn’t lie to Wanda, so I had to tell her what had happened. Then I had to live with her incessant ‘I told you so’ for about an hour or two after.

“Coffee?” Clint held a mug out for me.

“Please!” I gratefully took it, Clint dropped himself onto the sofa beside me, cursing when some of it split on his lap.

“Wait… were you just going to drink _both_ of these if I hadn’t been here?” I questioned.

“Maybe,” He shrugged. Clint took a sip, his face screwed up as he grimaced. “Damn Stark buying different coffee. Needs sugar.” Clint muttered. I rolled my eyes and quickly ‘poofed’ as Clint called it, into the kitchen and back returning with sugar.

“Magician.” Clint mused as he poured some sugar into his mug.

“What?” I furrowed my brow.

“Well we all got codenames, don’t think Hop-Scotch is very creative.” Clint explained.

“Well I quite like that name very much! Think you can beat it Barton?” Sam’s indignant voice entered the room. Clint and I turned to see Sam and Steve wandering into the room, bottles of water in hand.

“Magician. Y’know with all the… weird stuff she does!” Clint grinned. Sam glanced over to Steve, there was a moment before Sam begrudgingly agreed.

 

“Listen up. It’s going to be an early day tomorrow.” Tony announced. Everyone had been summoned to the meeting room for an impromptu conference. Except Clint, he had returned home with his kids.

“How come?” Wanda asked. Tony turned and made eye contact with me.

“We’re going to tear Exodus apart.” His voice was dangerously low, his eyes darkening for a moment.

“Tony?” Steve prompted. Tony brought up a set of profiles onto the holographic screen, my gaze flickered across each face. I gripped Wanda’s hand as my eyes met those of the one man I feared and hated the most. Ingram.

“These, are the heads of the organization. Dmitri Petrov, Nadine Beckett, Takeshi Yamamoto and Edward Ingram. Ingram is the head of the program that Katherine was… well anyway intel says they’re all gathering here,” Another image flashed onto the screen. “It’s going to be rough, I won’t lie. But this might be our only chance to end it before it escalates further.”

“No-one else dies,” I added. “I’m coming with you.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Tony replied. We were dismissed shortly after being briefed on what we were to do.

 

“Are… you… sure you’re… going to be okay?” Sam spoke between punches. I quickly dodged each one, only managing to get one of my own to hit its mark.

“This… ends now.” I grunted. I swept my foot, it connected with the back of Sam’s knee making him stumble. I threw a hard punch to him chest and watched as he fell to the mat with a groan. I doubled over, breathing heavily. I wiped away the sweat coating my forehead.

“Just… don’t let emotions… control your actions…” Sam advised from his sprawled out position on the ground. I dropped to the floor beside Sam and watched the ceiling, trying to keep my breathing under control.

“We’re going to watch your back. We won’t let them have you if things go… awry.” Sam tilted his head to glance at me.

“I trust you. All of you.” I admitted.

 

We all decided to have an early night, best to have all the energy possible for the following day. Just as I was about to step into my room a hand caught my arm.

“Kate.”

“Steve?” I turned to face the man whose expression held nothing but worry.

“I… _we_ … are going to make sure nothing happens to you tomo-“

“I know, Sam already told me. I appreciate it, and I’ll have everyone’s back too.” I smiled softly and pulled away from his grip, I took a step into the room.

“Don’t do anything reckless. Don’t put yourself in a position you _know_ you won’t be able to get out of. Do you hear me?” Steve warned, a hint of desperation in his voice.

“Promise.” I turned, about to leave but I hesitated. I gently bit my lip and turned back, I pushed up on to my tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to Steve’s cheek. I stepped back into my room and gently closed the door behind me. I wandered into my bedroom and changed into my nightwear, washed myself then turned off the main light off and crawling into bed. My fingers brushed over the glass necklace sat on the bedside table, the small lamp making it shine.

“James… tomorrow is the day. I don’t know if I’m going to live through it… I… I just don’t know. I _can’t_ let him… _them_ get away,” I whispered, I choked back the tears and sobs that wanted to escape as the fear started to set in. “I… I still love you…” I spoke sadly as I withdrew my fingers. I turned the lamp off, all light taken over by darkness.

 

I groaned when I felt myself being shaken harshly. I grumbled and sat up, rubbing my eyes gently.

“What?” I spat.

“Time to go.” Natasha’s voice was by my side. I huffed and threw the duvet to the side and got to work getting ready. Natasha stayed in my room as I got sorted, passing me cereal bars as I got ready. I pulled on the suit Tony had made for me, I was starting to feel more awake. Natasha pushed me to sit down on a chair and grabbed a hairbrush. Slowly she took it through my hair and gathered it up into a high ponytail. As she was securing it with a hair tie she spoke to me.

“We’ve been put in teams. Sam and Rhodey for aerial support.” She went through who was with who until there was only two left, her and I.

“So you and me?” I questioned as I stood and followed her out of the room.

“Yes. You can fight, that’s for certain. But you’re-“

“Only just started training, I understand.” I nodded in agreement. We walked side by side as we made our way out of the compound, the rest of the team gathered by a waiting Quin-jet.

“Everyone ready? No one needs a last minute bathroom break?” Tony joked.

“Well we have this old man over here, you know what their bladders are like.” I teased as I motioned over to Steve.

“Y’know what Kate-“

“Now, now lovebirds, no squabbling!” Sam goaded, earning a chuckle among the rest of the team. As we all made our way onto the aircraft, Steve and I passed each side of Sam and gave a quick punch to his shoulders.

“Hey!” Sam yelled.

 

I started to bite my nail and pace around the Quin-jet as we got closer and closer. Steve suddenly grabbed my hand and encouraged me to sit beside him.

“Breathe.” Steve spoke quietly, I felt his thumb rub small circles on the back of my hand reassuringly. I mouthed a ‘thank you’.

“We’re going to be landing soon. You all know the plan?” Tony spoke. A series of agreements filled the air. I gripped Steve’s hand as we started our decent.

“Be safe.” I whispered quietly.

“You too.” He whispered back. As Steve stood he pressed a quick kiss to the top of my head then wandered out of the landed Quin-jet. I took a deep breath and stood and followed the people who I prayed wouldn’t get hurt in the chaos that was certain to ensue.

 

Keeping low a small number of us quickly sneaked close to where a set of trees made a barrier between us and a set of warehouses.

“Patrol heading straight for us.” Natasha warned.

“Hold on.” I ordered in a whisper. I felt several hands grip me, in a swirl of blue smoke we suddenly appeared behind a group of five. We quickly took down all the guards before warning or signal to our arrival could be made. I knelt down beside one of the guards and placed my hand on their chest and looked inside their mind. I pulled back and stood, expectant looks searching my face.

“Ready?” I asked those around me. They nodded. I quickly took hold of each of the assigned teams and dropped them into the building then went back for the next.

“Nat?” I held my hand out. She took it and squeezed it.

“I’m dreading this.” She smiled.

“You and me both.” I laughed humorlessly. Then as the blue smoke disappeared, Natasha and looked around at our surroundings.

“Let’s set these charges.” I spoke. Natasha and I crept through the corridors, avoiding large patrols and large groups of individuals. A set of excited voices made us splay ourselves against a wall.

“Have you heard?”

“No?”

“The Creator has a new pet.”

“I thought he still wanted the old one?”

“He does, absolutely infatuated with her. But for now he’s taking out his frustration on another receptive subject. He’s in the lab now doing a demonstration. Should hear the _screams!_ ”

The voices passed and it was silent again. I swallowed thickly, anger and fear pumped through my veins. _I’m going to kill the fucking bastard! There is going to be nothing left of him when I am done!_ I stepped out, my hands curled into fists.

“Katherine!” Natasha hissed.

“What!” I hissed back.

“We set the charges, then if they get out we go after them!”

I scowled then reluctantly nodded. We grinned at each other when we fell upon a room filled with extremely explosive chemicals among other things that would rip apart the building.

“Code red, numerous hostiles.” A voice shouted from the door. Suddenly an alarm started to blare, the lights disappeared, replaced with red alarm beacons making it hard to see. A few guards filtered into the room while the others seemed preoccupied with something outside.

“I’ll take the two on the left, you take the two on the right.” Natasha sauntered up and quickly fell into her fighting stance, _they don’t stand a chance!_ I smiled. I quickly appeared behind the guard at the rear of the two and took his gun. I kicked his feet from under him and used the butt of the gun to knock them out cold. They slumped to the floor a pained groan escaping their lips.

“Bitch!” The other called.

“Been called worse.” I smirked. I blocked their first punch and countered with one to their jaw, their head whipped to the side. I took the momentary distraction to grip their arm and twist it, then brought my elbow up and slammed it down on theirs, a sickening crunch filled the air. I stepped back, span and kicked them in the chest, sending them flying backwards and skidding across the floor.

 

Steve and Vision were stood outside, finishing fighting the last of the guards. A sudden warning of evacuation came over the speakers.

“Well they know we’re here.” Steve noted.

“Water is wet Steve.” I replied.

“I mean, we don’t have much time.”

“Grass is green.” I retorted.

“Katherine!” Steve warned. I shrugged and started to jog down a corridor. _I know where the lab is, I can end it. I know I can!_

“Reinforcements.” Vision stated plainly.

“Watch it!” I cried out. I felt the markings appear on my skin and glanced down to see my nails extend to claws. My vision became clearer and sharper. I marched forward and put myself between the team and the reinforcements.

“Kate?” Steve tried to step forward but I put my hand out signaling for everyone to stay where they were.

“There’s three of _them_ among them,” I spat. “I can handle them. The others will trickle through, but I have them.” I ran forward and dodged the first attack of the first _monster_. It had already changed, not as hideous as those who had failed the transformation, but it was not a good look. I appeared behind the woman and kicked the back of her knees, she fell onto the floor. I jumped back in shock as her body twisted around to face me like something from The Exorcist.

 

My moment of distraction allowed the second to sneak up behind me, I lost my ability to breathe. I grasped at my throat as the feeling of something wrapped tightly around my neck increased, but I was merely grasping at air. The woman in front of me stood and cockily sauntered over, a long sharp bone sliding out from the skin of her wrist. I tried to break free of whatever was holding me but it was too strong. The woman laughed as she trailed the tip of the bone across my cheek. Swiftly I reached out and fazed my arms through the woman’s chest, the next minute she dropped to the floor. I shocked gasp voiced behind me and then I was dropped, I coughed and greedily took down lungful after lungful of oxygen. I lurched forward and stamped on the bone protruding from the woman’s wrist and grasped it as it snapped. I span on the balls of the feet then launched it, penetrating the second _monster_ –a man- in the throat. He dropped to the floor choking on his blood. I took a moment to catch my breath but realized my mistake as I was thrown against a wall, my head colliding with the metal.

“Katherine!” I heard Steve shout. I looked up to see a bulky figure stomp past me, heading straight toward Steve. I cried out at the pain that shot up my leg and side. I looked down to see my leg torn apart, thick deep claw marks marked my leg. I watched helplessly as Steve was charged at by the final weapon Exodus had created.

 

I yelled as what looked like a tail coiled around Steve’s leg, but Steve’s cry of pain told me it was more than that. I watched in horror as it flung Steve across the corridor toward me, a spray of blood coming from his leg when its tail let go. My eyes widened as I saw the metal barbs surrounding the tail.

“Fuck!” I cried out and crawled over to Steve a few feet from me.

“Steve! Steve!” I shouted, gripping his shoulders and shaking him.

“K-Katherine…” Steve choked out. I pressed my hand to the worst of the wounds on his leg, he was losing blood fast.

“We need medical evac now! Cap is down!” I shouted over the comms. Natasha was suddenly at my side, pushing my hands away and taking my place.

“You need to take that thing down!” Natasha yelled. I nodded and stood, rage running through my veins.

“Oi! You ugly bastard!” I shouted, grabbing the attention of what was once a human being. It snorted and narrowed its eyes.

“Come and get me!” I appeared behind it and started to run down the corridor. I heard its heavy footsteps behind me as I ran, _it’s fast, very fast._ A paw like hand swiped at my legs, I tripped but regained my footing and kept running. I screamed when its tail shot through my shoulder, coming out the other side, its barbs clung to my flesh. With a simple flick I was tossed backwards. I screeched in agony. I dug my hand into my pocket and removed one of the charges, I activated and waited. As it ran at me, its jaws wide open, I aimed and let the charge fly. I covered my head with my arms and held my breath.

 

I heaved when I felt something wet, blood, splatter all over me. _Lovely_. I heard calm footsteps down the corridor and glanced up, breathing heavily. The wound in my shoulder already healing quickly. I gasped when I saw the figure glance around the corner, a sick grin on their face.

“Oh well done! Very impressive Miss Holt.”

“Ingram.” I growled out. He chuckled as he watched me try and struggle to stand.

“Catch me if you can Miss Holt.” He grinned and started to run. Hatred filled me. I appeared where he was stood and saw his retreating figure.

“Get back here you _bastard!_ ” I screamed. The blood loss was making the distance I could travel shorter and shorter. As the blue mist faded I fell to my knees. My breathing was rapid, my heartbeat in my ears. Feet appeared in front of me, I glanced up to see Ingram’s grin. I lashed out, trying to sever _something_ with my claws. My movements were slow, he quickly brought his foot up and brought it down, I screamed as the claws snapped and broke. I took my hand back, blood was coating the ends of my fingers. I cradled my hand and glared at him as he crouched.

“I’m going to _kill_ _you_!” I growled out.

“Tut, tut.”

I suddenly felt something close around my wrists.

“You’re mine now. Miss Holt. Mine. To do with as I please.” His grin was sickening. His hands swiftly buried itself in my hair, gripping it tightly. He whistled as he dragged me down the corridor, I tried to fight, to struggle, but fear was starting to turn my blood cold.

 

I was lifted, my restrained wrists fastened to something above my head on the wall in some kind of surgical room.

“Over doing it Miss Holt.” He chastised as he wiped a tissue under my nose, it came away bloody. I pulled on my restraints but there was no give.

“Now.” He chuckled. A violent shiver shot down my spine at the sound. Abruptly my head was slammed against the wall and harshly secured.

“This might hurt. But just a little.” He grinned. I spat in his face, he withdrew and laughed.

“I have missed you.” He gripped my chin tightly. His fingers came up, opening up my eye wide. I panicked and strained when some kind of metal contraption was in my line of sight. Ingram slipped it into my eye, so it kept my eye wide open.

“Oh. And the only way _that_ is coming out is when you or I _rip_ _it out_. And the metal it’s made of? It will leave a nasty scar.” He licked his lips. His fingers brushed across the exposed bits of metal. I whimpered in fear.

 

I watched as Ingram stepped away, his fingers dancing over a set of tools before picking up a small hammer and a sharp chisel like tool.

“There are more… modern… ways of doing this. But I prefer good ol’ practices.” He smiled. He stalked toward me. Gently he slipped the chisel like tool between my eye and upper eyelid. I cried out and cried to pull away put couldn’t. Suddenly Ingram yelled and dropped to the floor, the tool slipped from the socket and clattered to the floor.

“You bitch.”

Then some words uttered in Russian. I looked over to see Natasha gripping Ingram, she quickly bashed his head against the edge of a table and rushed over to me.

She hastily released me from my restraints, but her fingers hesitated over the contraption in my left eye. I took a shaky breath and gripped it and pulled it out. I screamed as it tore at my upper and lower lid, it burnt. I tossed it across the room and fell to my knees.

“Get out.” I warned Natasha.

“We need to go. The place is going to blow.” She replied.

“The other members?” I questioned, looking at the stirring monster in front of me. Ingram chuckled darkly.

“I used them for my… demonstration.”

“I’ll be outside. Make it quick.” Natasha stated as she walked out of the room but stayed by the door.

 

I struggled to my feet and stumbled over to him. My left eye was shut due to the sheer amount of blood that was flowing from the wounds. I gripped Ingram by the throat and pinned him to the ground.

“What I have become. This _monster_ , it’s all because of _you_! _You tortured me for days_! Now… I’m going to _destroy_ you!” I screamed toward the end. I stood and swept his tools onto the floor around him. I stepped back and started to influence him. I watched as his shaky hands picked up a scalpel and raised it high above him before plunging it down into his chest and stomach _again and again and again and again._ Each time he let out a pained cry.

“Give it but can’t take it?” I smirked. I wiped away the blood dripping from my nose but continued with my actions. His fingers brushed over a small drill, he grasped it and lifted it up. The whirring sound of the drill filled the air, then choked agonized cries came from the doctor as he plunged it into his neck. His artery was annihilated, blood splattered across the room as he drove it deeper and deeper inside of him. His grip went slack as gurgled sounds left his lips.

“Katherine.”

I turned quickly, my remaining claws raised about to attack. I gasped when I realized Natasha was stood beside me, fear in her eyes. I turned back to the man I had murdered and let out a choked sob. My knees buckled underneath me and I fell to the blood covered floor. Natasha wrapped her arms around me and quickly she hoisted me up until she was carrying me.

 

She ran, me in her arms, as she tried to find the nearest exit.

“I’m a monster. I’m not better than any of them. Than _him._ ” I choked.

“After what he has done. He deserved far worse.” Natasha spoke.

“I _murdered him_.”

“And if not you, Stark would have. And if not him, one of us would’ve.” She shifted me in her grip as she broke through a door, we were out in the open. “You needed that closure more.”

I held on tight to Natasha and the next thing we knew, appearing in a puff of blue mist, we were outside the Quin-jet.

“Everybody out?” Tony’s voice asked.

“Yes.” Natasha replied. Somewhere in the distance I heard an explosion and the sound of crumbling and collapsing. I sighed and forced myself out of Natasha’s grip. I fell to the floor but stood up quickly.

 

Steve was helped onto the Quin-jet by Sam, I rushed over, my eyes wandering over his body.

“Steve. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I cried out as my fingers danced over the wounds he had sustained. I assisted Sam on getting Steve to lay on the bed for the injured. The main injury was his leg, where their living weapon had attacked him. Ripped him apart. I placed my hands over the worse of the injury, stroking it gently. My head span suddenly and Steve groaned, I gasped and went completely numb. My head then came in contact with the ground and it all went black.


	33. Chapter 33

“This feels awfully familiar.” I smiled softly as I opened my eyes, despite how heavy they felt. Steve was at my bedside, his hand gripping mine and worry etched across his face.

“Please tell me I haven’t been in ano-“

“Just a few days.” Steve interrupted. A small smile tugging at his lips.

“Good.” I smiled. I sat up and stretched my arms above my head, I then noticed the nurses hurrying around my bed, looking at machines.

“What happened?” I asked.

“You used your abilities too much, it exhausted you.” Steve explained.

“Oh. When can I leave?”

“In a few hours, if you’re feeling alright.” Steve answered.

“Stay with me?” I asked gently. Steve squeezed my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles.

“Of course. I’m not leaving.”

 

“Are you okay? Your leg!” I exclaimed.

“Seems you can heal people. When I woke up, my leg was mostly healed, all thanks to you.”

“Really?” I wondered. Steve pulled up the bottom of his trousers, a thin scar circled his leg. Before disappearing beyond where I couldn’t see. My fingers wandered up to my left eye, _my vision is fine, nothing is wrong with it!_ Steve handed me a mirror, a sad look on his face. I hesitantly picked it up and looked toward my injury. Up to my brow and down to the top of my cheek I had scars that looked like how glass breaks, like the beginnings of a spider web. I dropped the mirror onto my lap and sighed sadly. _I thought it might be bad… but that bad?_

“Is there-“

Steve silently shook his head.

“Oh,” I sighed. “How is everyone else?” I asked.

“Cuts, scratches and bruises. They all ache but they’re fine.”

“Good.” I replied.

 

Steve and I sat quietly for quite a long time. My hand still in his, his fingers lazily drawing little patterns on my skin. The others had come and visited once they heard I was awake and well. Natasha had this look of profound respect in her eyes, while Wanda had relief and happiness. Sam and made a remark about how close Steve and I were, Tony and Rhodey also decided to make a small joke on that. Vision just lectured me on being reckless. And then, after everyone had gone, we were alone again. It was silent again.

“I heard you. That morning. I heard what you said.” I broke the silence. I heard Steve swallow nervously.

“You did?” He whispered.

“When I saw you get hurt. It hurt me. I could never see you get hurt, you… you mean a lot to me. I was scared I was going to lose you Steve. It scared me so much!” I confessed. “So now I understand what you meant about failing me. B- because I failed _you_. _You_ got hurt because of _me_. You nearly _died_!” I started to cry. Steve suddenly climbed onto the bed and embraced me, he let out a grunt of discomfort but held me tight against his chest. His fingers brushed through my hair.

“You scared me too.” He replied simply. Until I was allowed to leave, Steve stayed by my side on the bed, whispering kind, soothing words of absolute nonsense.

 

Once the doctor had given me the all clear, I was free to go. Steve waited outside as I got dressed and then gave me his arm to hold for support if I needed it.

“I’m going to lay down. Feeling a bit tired.” I admitted as Steve and I wandered to the elevator. As we entered it was silent between us. The doors slid shut slowly, a moment passed before the elevator began to move. I sighed softly as I decided to throw caution to the wind and take a step to stand in front of Steve. He looked down at me, a mix of emotions in his eyes, pity being the most prominent one. I stood up on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around Steve's neck, pulling him down until my head was resting in the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry you got hurt... I'm- I'm glad you're safe." I whispered into his neck. Steve's arms slowly came to grip my waist, he squeezed and I glanced up. His lips collided with mine, I gasped in surprise, his lips were soft as they sealed over mine again and again. Suddenly it was as though something snapped in him and I was slammed against the wall of the elevator. His hands gave a final squeeze before sliding up my body, pushing my arms above my head, he held my wrists captive in one hand. His lips travelled down to my neck, I groaned and he started placing butterfly kisses against my neck. His free hand came to push my hips back against the wall. He stepped forward, closing the gap between us. I whined softly as he began to harshly suck on my neck, his teeth grazing against the spot that made my hips buck forward, his tongue laved over the spot as he slowly pulled away. Steve rested his forehead against mine as we both tried to catch our breath.

"Kate... I-I don't know if I... If I'll be able to stop myself... I don't want to god I don't! But I need you to..."

"D-don't stop. Please!" I begged my voice barely above a whisper. Just as Steve was about to close the gap and kiss me again the elevator jolted to a stop. As the doors began to slide open, I panicked when I heard voices chattering. Steve pulled away from me and stood leaning against the opposite wall nonchalantly., _the little shit_! Which was only made even worse as he smirked as Natasha and Sam wandered into the elevator. I tried my best to feign calm.

 

The rest of the ride was intense as Steve stared at me, a smirk plastered on his face, his eyes a lot darker than usual. I wanted to pry my gaze from him but I couldn't. Sam and Natasha didn't even suspect anything, and if they did they were keeping it quiet. The next time the elevator stopped, I swallowed thickly. The doors slid open, Steve pushed himself off the wall and wandered out saying a farewell to Sam and Natasha. I followed a moment later. I watched the elevator as the doors closed. I bit my lip.

"You keep biting that lip of yours," Steve stepped toward me, he brought his thumb up and pried my lip from he grip of my teeth. "And I'll just have to bite it for you." He spoke lowly, _holy shit!_ My eyes went wide for a moment before Steve smiled warmly at me and took my hand.

"Yours or mine?" I asked.

"Yours." Steve replied as he pulled me past his room and toward mine.

 

As soon as he closed the door I was pinned against it, his leg between mine. He pressed a kiss against my cheek then his lips were at my ear.

"You've been a very naughty girl, going after the doctor like that on your own. I'm not sure what to do with you." He whispered, his fingers coming up to tenderly stroke my cheek.

"Do what you want." I nuzzled into his neck.

"Really?" He leaned back, a brow cocked up. I nodded.

"Good." He smirked. Steve's fingers buried themselves into my hair, his lips sealing over mine. His tongue swiped across my lower lip, asking for access. I couldn't say no to him. His tongue slowly stroked against mine, I let out a long low groan. My fingers came up to start unbuttoning his shirt hurriedly. Swiftly Steve leaned down and picked me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist, then he carried me to my room.

 

When he had placed me on my bed he was already minus his shirt.

"Now this isn't fair is it?" He smiled. I quickly pulled my top over my head and threw it to the side. Steve on the other hand was pulling my leggings down my thighs, his fingers running slowly over each bit of skin he exposed, all the way down to my ankles. Then they were lost to somewhere in the room. Steve stood at the edge of the bed and grasped the backs of my knees and pulled me until I was at the edge of the bed. He leaned forward and unfastened my bra then threw it somewhere behind him. He kept his gaze locked on me as he slowly knelt on the floor. I laid my head against the bed and bit my lip in anticipation. A sudden slap against my inner thigh that sent shock waves to my core, that made my panties even wetter and elicited a gasp from my lips, drew my attention back to Steve. I looked down.

"What did I tell you?" Steve warned. I gave a quick sorry and groaned as he started kissing from just above my knee and working his way up the inside of my thigh. He sucked on my skin and bit at it, pulling moans and groans from my lips. With each kiss he was getting closer to the place I wanted him the most. As his lips reached the top of my thigh, a few centimeters away from where I was soaking wet, he pulled away and started kissing up on my other leg. I let out a noise of complaint.

"You're not playing fair!" I groaned. He chuckled against my skin.

 

His thumbs slowly massaged small circles into my thighs causing me to sigh happily. That's when he placed his lips over my soaked panties. I cried out at the feeling. Steve hummed causing the vibrations to run up to my clit and set the sensitive nerves alight. Abruptly Steve stood, I huffed in frustration. I glanced to see he was looking through my draws.

"What are you doing?" I questioned. Steve let out a sound of triumph as he withdrew something from one of the draws. He made his way over to me and straddled my waist.

"Arms up sweetheart." Steve spoke softly. I did as his asked, I felt the poles at the head of the bed and curled my fingers around them. Steve revealed a scarf he had been holding behind his back. I panicked and tried to sit up.

"Katherine it's alright. Trust me." Steve stroked my cheek, worry filled his eyes. Ever so slowly I returned to the position I was in. Steve leaned up and started to wrap the fabric around my wrists and the poles of the bed.

"I'm hoping this will help you. That's the plan anyway. There will be a time where you are restrained and you can't panic. I hope that replacing your memories of fear with pleasure might counter act it," Steve explained as he sat back. "Pull, you'll come free easily, so while you're comfortable hold onto the poles okay?"

"I trust you Steve." I told him. He leaned down and pressed a tender kiss against my forehead.

 

He worked his way down my body, pressing soft kisses to my neck, my collarbones, the tops of my breasts, in between them. The tip of his tongue flicked over the tips of each of my nipples, I sigh of air left my lips. I squirmed as he went lower, kissing my stomach then my thighs. He hooked his fingers into my panties and slowly pulled them off. My breathing picked up a little in anticipation. I gasped and squirmed as he gently blew against my sex. I tugged a little at my bindings, flinching as a memory of recent events flashed in my mind. But it disappeared quickly as Steve licked a broad stripe along my folds. I cried out, my hips bucking at the feeling. With one hand Steve used his fingers to part my folds to reveal my dripping sex, with the other he dipped his fingers into my arousal and spread it up to my clit. 

"God you're soaking! Did I make you this wet hm?" He slowly blew on my sex and I squirmed at the cool sensation.

"Ah! Steve!" I whined.

"Hush doll." He pressed a kiss to my clit making my hips buck.

His tongue danced over my sex, dipping slightly into my opening. He groaned long and low.

"You taste so good. So fucking good." He sighed. Steve then dipped a finger into my sex, pumping it slowly in and out, curling it to stroke a very sensitive spot. I writhed and moaned.

"You like that? Hm?" Steve sucked on my clit, his tongue laving over it. I cried out at the intense feeling. Then he was gone.

"Steve! Please!" I cried out. I felt a weight on the bed and glanced to see Steve laid back, I could see him straining in his jeans.

"Come here" He tapped my thighs. He helped me straddle him but I was uneasy due to being restrained. Gently Steve pulled on my thighs, coaxing me further up his body. From his hips to his chest, I hesitated for a moment but the gentle smile on his face told me everything was alright. So eventually I was straddling his head.

"Steve I've never... I've never done this before... I- I don't want to hurt you!" I admitted.

"I've got you. Doll, I'm going to make you come all over my tongue. I'm going to fuck you so good that by the end of tonight you won't remember your name." He placed a kiss on my inner thigh. He slowly brought me closer and closer to his mouth. I moaned softly as he licked and sucked and melded his mouth to my sex, each moan from his mouth making me cry out as it set my nerves on fire. I held onto the posts of the bed as he increased the force of his tongue on me. He held my hips to keep me upright as my legs started to shake as his tongue pressed on my clit: tipping me over the edge of my orgasm.

 

My breathing was fast and uneven as I came down from my high. Steve suddenly reached up and behind him and unfastened the scarf. He lifted my hips up and dropped me beside him on the bed. I watched as he used his fingers to scoop up my juices that covered his chin and lick his fingers clean. I felt myself go red and averted my eyes. Steve's fingers were under my chin pulling my gaze to his. I leaned forward and embraced him tightly and kissed him softly.

"My turn." I smirked as I gave him a final peck on the lips. I could taste myself which sent a shiver down my spine. I took his hands in mine and crawled back on the bed, Steve moved with me until he was sat on the edge of the bed. I sank to the floor in between his legs.

 

My hands went to the buckle of his belt and unfastened it, I undid the button and pulled down the zipper. Steve helped me get him out of his jeans. I gasped at the wound on his leg, it was bandaged at his thigh but looking just past it, a thick scar wound around his leg until it tapered off at his ankle. I ran my fingers down the scar and sighed sadly.

“I’m fine.” Steve insisted. He smiled encouragingly at me, I then made quick work of his boxers. I gasped at the size of his cock, _Holy fuck!_ Steve chuckled softly at my wide eyed reaction.

"Just to let you know... I've... I’ve never done this before..." I confessed. Steve gently brushed my hair out of my face and ran his fingers through it, as his fingers reached the back of my head his gently gripped the hair there before letting go.

"You don't have to..."

I interrupted him as I took his cock in my hand and stroked him gently. Steve hissed and bucked his hips. I leant forward and gave an experimental lick to the head of his cock, tasting his pre-come. I tilted my head gently and took the head into my warm mouth sucking lightly and running my tongue over the slit then pulled away with a 'pop'.

"Fuck." Steve grunted. I pressed a kiss to the top of his cock before running the flat of my tongue along the thick vein on the underside of his cock.

"Now who isn't playing fair!" Steve exclaimed, a small laugh escaping his lips which morphed into a moan. I chuckled in response before slowly taking his length into my mouth. Steve bucked his hips surprising me and causing me to choke, I backed away suddenly.

"Shit, sorry." He apologized. I shook my head and took him in my mouth again. After a few minutes I managed to control my gag reflex but when Steve bucked his hips on accident it still surprised me. His fingers dug into my hair, he pushed me back and forth helping himself come closer and closer to his own orgasm. I held onto his hips to stay upright, I pulled back and took his cock in my hand and stroked him a few times before licking and kissing his cock. Steve abruptly gripped my hair and started to move his hips, fucking my mouth. His grunts and whines were getting louder and closer together. I pulled back a little and sucked the head of his cock hard. Suddenly Steve groaned loudly, his hips stuttering for a moment before he came. I could taste him on my tongue, it was an odd taste but I swallowed all he gave me. I smiled as I watched as he collapsed against the bed, breathing rapidly.

 

I laid down next to Steve on the bed, we glanced at each other then we both ended up laughing. He pulled me to his side, his fingers ghosting over my back.

"You looked so good sucking my cock like that. On your knees in front of me, it was very hot." Steve murmured. I hummed in response.

Steve pulled me upright and picked me up, my brow furrowed but I stayed quiet as he wandered into the bathroom. He quickly started the shower and held me close as we waited for it to warm up.

"I'm not done with you just yet." He kissed my temple. Steve took my hand and pulled me into my shower. I moaned as the water flowed over my sensitive body. Steve came up behind me, his hand wrapping around my front. His hand wandered down until his fingers reached my sex, he slowly stroked my clit. I moaned softly and leaned back into him.

"Put your forearms on the wall." Steve ordered. I hissed as my skin met with the cold tiles. His fingers still manipulated my clit, the feeling in my abdomen started to grow and something wound tighter and tighter wanting to be let loose. Then I felt the head of Steve's cock at my opening and a long moan left my lips.

"I'm going to fuck you now," he pressed a kiss behind my ear. "Hard and deep, gonna make you come so hard on my cock."

I replied with a long groan, _is captain America even allowed to talk like this? I thought he was all innocent I couldn't have been more wrong!_ Steve's cock easily slipped inside of me, my walls clenched around him tightly.

"Fuck you're tight! Squeezing my cock like that." Steve leaned over and whispered in my ear. He started to move, thrusting in and out, his fingers rubbing over my clit. I squeezed my eyes shut at the overwhelming sensations running through my body. His hips snapped forward again and again colliding with mine. I moaned and tried gripping the bathroom tiles.

"Steve!" I whined. Suddenly I was empty. He grasped my shoulders and span me around, he crashed his lips to mine in a bruising passionate kiss. He stepped back, my hands in his, I watched as his gaze fell on the lounge, a grin etched onto his face. He led me over, Steve laid back on it first then coaxed me to straddle him.

"I want to know what you look like riding my cock, bet you look beautiful, my cock pumping in and out of that tight wet pussy of yours." Steve guided his cock into my opening, I slowly let myself slide down his cock, the position we were in made him go deep inside of me, brushing against an extremely sensitive spot making my moan. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed myself up then let myself go back down. Steve's head fell back as a long groan escaped his throat.

"Fuck you're tight!" Steve cried out. I kept moving myself up and down on his cock, each time he filled me he brushed against the spot that made my walls clench around him, squeezing him tightly. His hands came up and cupped my breasts, his fingers flicked over my nipples before he pulled and pinched them, drawing a cry from my lips. I fell forward slightly, Steve met me halfway his head dipping down to take a nipple into my mouth, sucking, licking and nipping gently. I gripped his hair, not wanting him to pull away. I ground down on his cock making him gasp. I reluctantly pulled him away from me and kissed him forcefully.

 

"Are you gonna come for me?" Steve questioned.

"Only if you come for me Captain." I smiled. Steve brought his hand down to stimulate my clit as he bucked his hips up, groaning loudly. I collapsed forward as his thrusts sent me over the edge, I cried his name as my walls clenched and squeezed his cock. Steve suddenly yelled as he gripped me tight, he quickly pulled out of me just before he came. We were breathing heavily, I felt as if my lungs were going to explode. Steve wrapped his arms around me and cuddled me tightly.

"I love you." Steve shyly confessed.

"I-I love you too." I replied I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head over his heart. His heart was beating incredibly fast, and not just from our activity. I smiled widely, and pressed a kiss to his forehead before squeezing him. Steve leaned over to the shower head attached to the hose and turned it on, he gently washed water over my hair and body, cleaning away the mess he'd made on my back from pulling out. His fingers massaged my hyper-sensitive skin, I couldn't hold back the small moans and sighs as he touched me. Then Steve grabbed a bottle of shampoo and started washing my hair gently. I sighed and pushed myself closer to him.

"I'm so happy. I haven't felt like this since..." _since James_. Steve stroked my hair softly and whispered sweet nothings.

"Steve I love you... But I don't know... Don't think I could commit... I just..." I felt tears run down my cheeks getting upset out of fear of hurting him.

"I understand... Maybe... We... Be together but not be together?" Steve's brow furrowed. _he wants us to work somehow but...I still have feelings for James... he pushed me away but damn it I still love the bastard!_

"Maybe something like that..."

"No strings attached. We aren't tied to each other so if you... If you want to be with someone else..."

"Okay... I-I think that could work." I smiled sadly.

 

 

"Come on." Steve picked me up and turned to shower off. He carried me out the bathroom, picking a towel up along the way. He gently dried and dressed me in my nightwear. I watched as Steve dried himself and then dressed.

"Steve where are you going?" I called as he started to leave the room.

"Didn't know if you wanted me to stay?" He questioned, his voice rising an octave at the end. I lifted the duvet and motioned for him to join me. He took his jeans off, leaving him in his shirt and boxers. He quickly climbed under the duvet and wrapped his arms around me. I kissed his nose then his lips making him chuckle. I closed my eyes as I relaxed into the warmth of his embrace.

"Get some sleep." Steve whispered lovingly in my ear.

"You too." I whispered back. Then I let exhaustion take over, pulling me into sleep.


	34. Chapter 34

“Are you ready to go?” Steve asked as he wandered over to me and pressed a kiss on the top of my head.

“I think so.” I replied as I looked down at my clothes.

“Good.”

“So. What happened between you and Rumlow?” I questioned as I sat and tied the laces to my sneakers.

“When the Hellicarriers went down, they took out the Triskellion, thing is Rumlow was still inside. Something just snapped in him since then.” Steve explained as we started to walk through the building.

“He was Hydra. He had already snapped. And just to remind you again, _I_ was still in the building when that happened!” Sam’s voice joined in as he jogged to catch up with us.

“You jumped out.” Steve answered.

“Only just!” Sam countered.

“Boys. Boys. You’re both pretty. Now lets go kick his ass!” I teased and walked a few steps ahead of them.

“That girl of yours Steve.” Sam grinned.

“I know. I know.” I could hear the smile in Steve’s voice.

 

I sat in the Quin-jet waiting for the others to join us, Natasha was already there, looking through all the information we had on recent events involving Rumlow. Wanda, Sam and Steve joined us and then we were making our way to Lagos. Steve sat by my side, his arm around my waist while my head rested on his shoulder. It had been a few months since our final run in with Exodus and the revelation that I loved Steve. Our relationship was odd, not standard, but we were both happy. Steve spent most nights in my room, so I emptied a few drawers for him. His sketchbooks and odd sentimental items were scattered on shelves and surfaces in my room. He had told me about James entirely, about his and Sam’s secret mission to find him but so far it was all dead ends. I never told him about my true past, he was happy and I didn’t want that to change. Regrettably when he pulled me into his search I pushed them in the wrong direction, I didn’t know how James was, if he was even ready for that meeting, and didn’t want to risk it.

 

“I was thinking we could go out for something to eat on Saturday. To that restaurant you like.” Steve broke me from my reverie.

“Sounds nice.” I smiled softly and looked up at him. He cupped my cheek and gently stroked my skin, his thumb brushing over the bottom edges of my scar around my eye. At first I hated it, hated Ingram, but he was dead. Steve tried his best to help me through it but I spiraled, hatred turning to frustration and anger. It was Sam who helped me in the end. He’d shifted stuff around in one of the function rooms, invited the whole team down and we played laser tag. For the first time in weeks I had laughed until it hurt. I found it easier to cope from then on.

“Maybe you could wear…” Steve left his sentence unfinished. _Steven Grant Rogers! You are one kinky bastard!_ I chuckled and cuddled closer to him. I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips which he gently gave back.

“Come on!” Sam complained. We both laughed in response.

 

“You and Steve are doing well for yourselves.” Wanda stated, tapping her spoon on the edge on the cup.

“We are.” I smiled happily. I listened intently as Sam, Wanda and Natasha exchanged words. I reached out and searched through the minds of everyone in the area, hoping I’d be able to locate Rumlow. My brow furrowed when I felt a mix of apprehension and determination. As I poked further I heard Steve’s voice over the comms. I suddenly stood up, receiving odd looks from Wanda and Natasha.

“He’s not hitting the police.” Steve and I spoke in unison. Blue mist disappeared in the wind as I watched two trucks enter through the destroyed guard blockade. I manipulated the wheels of the one of the vehicles and smiled triumphantly as it tipped over to the side and skidded across the floor. _That should buy us a bit of time._ I dodged and hid behind the crashed truck as the occupants of the first truck open fired on me. I sneaked to the back of the truck where they were trying to open the door and manipulated the metal so it would take them longer to get out.

 

“Rumlow is inside the building. Several hostiles keeping guard outside.” I warned through the comms. I heard the start of fighting, then gunfire. I rolled my eyes as I heard Sam counting down the number of hostiles. Then I was by Wanda’s side.

“Do you think they realize they could just break through the windshield?” I wondered aloud, Wanda snickered. Then I heard the sound of glass breaking.

“And there we have it. They have a lower IQ than a fruit. So much for insight learning” I teased.

“Katherine.” Wanda’s accented voice chastised. I watched Wanda’s back as Steve gave her orders, then he was inside the building.

“You’re getting good at that!” I complimented her.

“Thanks.” She smiled before focusing on the building.

 

As Sam came under fire by two of Rumlow’s men, I helped by utilizing an ability I had been working on with Wanda’s help.

“Take it easy.” Sam advised.

I focused on manipulating the bullets midair. I had to focus to remove the energy so they would drop to the floor otherwise they would continue on their trajectory. I grunted in discomfort as I tried to fuck up a bullet in the barrel of the gun so it would no longer fire.

“I got it Hop-scotch, take it easy.” Sam gripped my arm, pulling me away. I breathed heavily, trying to calm myself.

 

Chaos ensued when Rumlow escaped, a biological weapon in his possession. I hid beside the truck that Rumlow’s group had crashed through a market. A few feet away Rumlow spoke to his men, they left, leaving him alone. _I can’t take him out on my own!_ I turned when I heard a pained voice. A few civilians had got caught up in the crash, some were injured. I knelt down beside a young woman who had a piece of wood penetrating her side.

“I’m going to help you okay?” I whispered quietly, holding her hand gently. She nodded quickly, I then gave her an apologetic look.

“This is going to hurt.” I warned. I gripped the wood and pulled it free, she screamed in pain and started to panic. I placed my hands over the wound and watched as the woman started to relax. I pulled my hands away, there was a lot of blood but no more wound. Wanda helped me gather the remaining injured before she ran off to help the others. I quickly went from one to another and healed their injuries, I warned them to run, to keep clear of the fighting. _Now… let’s see what’s happening._

 

I searched through the crowd till I found Steve and Rumlow. I worried as I watched Wanda trying to contain an explosion: Rumlow had set off a suicide vest.

“Wanda!” I shouted in panic, I saw how she was struggling to keep it contained.

“Get out of here!” I yelled to the crowd surrounding the scene, a few started to flee, I hoped Wanda’s power was enough. I gasped when she pushed Rumlow into the air but he collided with a building, the explosion ripped through it. My eyes widened as Steve and Wanda stood in shock. _There has got to be people in there!_ I thought in a panic. I rushed through the building, disappearing into it and reappearing outside holding both dead and living. _I think that’s it!_ I coughed as I searched through the burning wreckage.

“Kate!”

I turned to see Steve a few feet away.

“Need some help over here!” Steve called. I rushed over and saw several people trapped beneath a fallen beam.

“You lift, I’ll get them out!”

Steve grunted as he slowly lifted the beam, it creaked and I knew it was only a matter of time before it collapsed again.

“Hold onto me!” I told those who were trapped. I made it outside and fell to my knees exhausted.

“Steve,” I sniffed feeling blood starting to run down my nose. “Get out of there!”

 

I struggled to my feet and found Wanda looking up in horror at the building.

“Wanda?” I quietly spoke as I placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned quickly and embraced me tightly. I felt her sob against my shoulder. I let myself fall to the floor with her as her knees gave way.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.” I soothed her, stroking her hair gently. She gripped at my clothes as she cried.

 

When we had made it home, I spent most of the time by Wanda’s side. Steve understood so he didn’t mind my absence during the night. She was struggling to come to terms with what had happened and she often tortured herself by watching the news.

“You shouldn’t listen to that stuff.” I advised as I walked in with a tray of food. She sighed sadly as she gingerly took the food I had brought.

“Can I be alone for a while?” Wanda asked quietly.

“Of course,” I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. “You know what to do if you want me.” I smiled kindly at her before leaving the room.

 

I bit my lip in concern as I wandered to find Steve. He had a work space a few doors down from Wanda’s room, I was hoping I’d find him there. I stood in the doorway and listened to the news report on the events in Lagos. I watched as Steve’s shoulders fell when he paused the holographic screen.

“Hey.” I spoke softly as I entered the room, my hands landing softly on his shoulders. I pressed my fingers into his flesh and slowly massaged it.

“Hey.” He replied just as softly.

“You should go talk to Wanda. She’s in a bad place right now. I know you’re like an older brother to her. She could use someone to talk to other than me and Vision.”

Steve turned when he heard the faint noise of a news report down the hallway.

“I’ll go now.” He sighed softly as he stood. He cupped my cheek as he turned to me.

“Are you alright?” Steve asked. “I know you brought out people who were dead as well as alive.”

“A little shaken. But I’ll be okay,” I smiled sadly. “We did what we could.”

“I suppose our date for Saturday needs to make a rain check?”

“That’s probably for the best. Shame, I was looking forward to it.” I replied.

 

I pressed a kiss to Steve’s cheek as I left him to speak to Wanda. I wandered into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee.

“Hey.” Sam’s voice entered the kitchen.

“Hey Sam. How’re you holding up?” I asked. I gestured for if he wanted a coffee and he nodded gently. I poured him a cup and handed it him. A dull ache in my head had been constant since we returned, but I refused to mention it to anyone.

“Are you alright?” Sam asked gently.

“Yeah-“

“You’re in pain. I didn’t want to say anything in front of the others, especially Steve.”

“Just a headache.” I admitted.

“You keep over using your powers, you need to take it slow otherwise it’s going to kill you.”

“I know but-“

“But you did a good job getting those people out.” Sam smiled softly.

“Thanks.”

“Everyone is gathering in the meeting room. We have a guest.” Natasha popped her head around the corner of the doorframe. Sam and I shared a look before ditching the coffee and making our way upstairs.

 

I glanced down at the thick set of papers passed along to me, ‘Sokovia Accords’ written across the top. I glanced around, already feeling the tension and uncertainty between the members of the group. We sat and listened to the Secretary of State’s final words before he left. Steve had already made his discontent known, I looked to him and I knew the expression across his face. He glanced behind him to Tony then scowled as he turned back.

 

“What do you think?” I asked as I wrapped my arm around Steve’s. We were walking toward communal living area, everyone was talking amongst themselves while Steve was awfully quiet.

“I don’t like it.” He admitted. He looked to me, silently asking what I thought.

“Neither do I. Too much could go wrong. Or worse yet, we could all be manipulated to do something we don’t want to do. It’s not safe.” I whispered. I sat by Steve’s side as he read through the Accords. I rubbed my forehead as Sam and Rhodey argued, which didn’t help my headache. I noticed Vision and Wanda’s hands entwined, he was comforting her, his fingers caressing her skin slowly. I smiled fondly, _he cares so much about her, got her to eat when I couldn’t and stopped her crying when no one else could. He made her smile and now he’s comforting her. I’m not sure what exactly he is, I don’t think even he knows, but he’s good for her and that’s all that matters in the end._ Steve rubbed my back as he noticed my headache getting worse with the constant arguing and raised voices. I silently thanked Vision when he started to speak, when he gave his opinion on the matter.

 

Then the discussion fell between Steve and Tony, which began to get heated the longer it went on.

“If we sign this we surrender our right to choose,” Steve spoke, I watched as Tony looked away. “What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go. What if there’s somewhere we need to go, and they don’t let us. We may not be perfect but the safest hands are still our own.”

Once again debates rang out between the members of the team, I stayed quiet and listened to each of their arguments.

“Maybe Tony’s right,” Natasha started. We all turned to looked at her, she hesitated a moment before continuing. “If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off-“

“Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss our ass a few years ago.” Sam interrupted. I glanced over to Steve to see an odd look etched onto his face, I gently placed my hand over his for reassurance. Natasha started to speak again.

“We have made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back.” Natasha continued. Words were exchanged between Tony and Natasha, but my attention was on Steve. His phone had vibrated, signaling he had received a text.

 

I watched his face as it fell further, suddenly he stood.

“I need to go.”

My brow furrowed as he started to walk down the stairs. I counted to ten before following after him, everyone had a look of confusion and concern covering their faces. I quickly walked down the steps when I saw Steve leaning against the banister.

“Steve?” I spoke quietly. He didn’t look up. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder. He let out a quiet shaky breath before looking up at me, tears had welled up in his eyes.

“Peggy?” I asked. Steve had told me numerous times about the infamous Peggy Carter. I didn’t know her but they way Steve spoke about made me feel like I did. Steve simply nodded his head. I wrapped my arms around him as the tears started to fall.

“Is there a funeral?” I asked in a whisper.

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Steve’s arms wrapped around me and squeezed me tightly.

“Okay. Let’s get ready to leave.” I ran my fingers through his hair then pulled away. I grasped his hand and led him to his room.

 


	35. Chapter 35

I sat by Steve’s side during the ceremony, Sam was sat on his other. I held Steve’s hand tightly as the ceremony passed. When Sharon Carter was called to give a few words, Steve’s expression morphed to one of shock and surprise when Sam got his attention. I watched as he almost smiled for the first time that day, _there’s some history between those two. They definitely know each other_ , I noted as Sharon kept eye contact with Steve for the majority of the speech. Steve asked to be alone for a while so Sam and I waited outside.

“He’s going to be okay isn’t he?” I turned to Sam.

“Yeah. It’ll take some time.”

“I suppose you both know Sharon.”

“Yeah,” Sam started. “Met her during the havoc in Washington. He had a crush on her for a while but they decided to just be friends.”

Suddenly Natasha walked passed us and entered the church. Sam and I exchanged a glance then fell into quiet conversation as we waited. After a few minutes Sharon made her way over to us.

“Hey Sam.” Sharon greeted.

“Hi. Oh! Sharon this is Katherine.” Sam introduced.

“I figured that’s who you were. Steve has told me a lot about you.”

“He has?” I asked surprised.

“He really loves you.” She smiled fondly.

 

Sam and I stood by the bar of Sharon’s hotel, Sharon and Steve had decided to take some time to catch up and talk about their loss.

“Katherine.” Sam caught my attention. I glanced up to the TV above the bar and gasped.

“Go get Steve.” I pushed Sam from his stool. I swallowed thickly at the news report. A bomb had gone off in Vienna. Exactly where the Accords were being signed, there was causalities, some very serious. I stood suddenly when I saw who they believed to be the culprit. _James!_ I silently exclaimed. I walked quickly over to Sam, Steve and Sharon. Sharon ushered us into the elevator then into her room. She paced the room talking on the phone while Sam, Steve and I watched the news. I let out a shaky breath when security footage showed James, _that can’t be James, he’s in Romania. He wouldn’t even do this!_

 

Sam and I sat at a café waiting for Steve to return. _I need to tell him. I need to. He’s going to hate me, but James needs to be safe._

“You okay? You’re shaking.” Sam placed his hand over my shaking ones.

“I need to tell you both something.” _No going back now._ Steve arrived a few minutes after. He and Sam exchanged a few words before Sharon walked in, passing Steve a folder.

“I know where he is.” I quickly confessed quietly. The three of them looked at me in surprise.

“What?” Steve asked.

“I know where James is.” I whispered.

 

The tension was thick on the jet ride to Bucharest.

“Say something.” I begged Steve.

“How?” He bit out.

“I haven’t been wholly truthful about my past.”

“So you’ve been lying to us, to _me_ , this entire time?” Steve yelled.

“I _had to_!” I pleaded.

“Why should I believe you. Why should either of us believe you?” Sam questioned.

“Because James told me to keep it quiet. _He_ told me to come to _you_ if Exodus found me! He told me that you would help me because that’s the kind of person you are! That’s the person he remembers! That was a year ago!” I explained.

“So you and him…” Sam left the sentence open.

“We… lived together. He… saved me… more than once.” I slowly spoke.

“He remembers?” Steve asked, hope entering his eyes. I nodded gently.

“Please, let me come with you. He won’t bolt then.” I begged.

“Okay… you can come with me.” Steve replied quietly.

 

Steve and I stood outside the door to James’ apartment. I swallowed thickly. _It’s been so long!_ I reached out but didn’t sense him in the apartment.

“He’s not in. He’ll be at the market.” I told Steve. I grabbed his arm and took us into the apartment. I glanced around and smiled fondly at how familiar it was, not much had changed. Tears filled my eyes when I noticed all my clothes still stored beside the bed, I riffled through them and smiled at the memories they pulled at.

“Yours?” Steve asked, realizing the extent of my stay with James.

“Yeah.” I stood and wandered over to the table by the wall, the psychology book sat open, sections highlighted. A large notebook was sat open in front of it, I flicked through it, _he’s been writing essays._ I laughed quietly.

“What?” Steve asked, he walked over and looked down at the book.

“He enjoyed reading this book, still looks like he does.” I smiled. Steve stepped away, sadness falling over his face. I ran my fingers over the set of shelves and found a little parcel wrapped in colourful paper, a ribbon tied tightly around it. My brow furrowed gently, _has he met someone?_ I suddenly saw a familiar notebook laid on the shelf below. I picked it up and started to read it, I gasped and tried to keep the tears from falling. ‘I miss her. I had to let her go. I love her.’. I placed it back on the shelf and picked up the colourful parcel and looked at it in curiosity. I glanced up at Steve to see him reading a notebook that had little markers poking from the pages.

 

“Heads up Cap, German special forces approaching from the south.” Sam’s voice came over the comms.

“Understood.” Steve curtly replied. A quiet sound made us turn around. There James stood. I inhaled suddenly at the sight of him. His brow furrowed when he saw me, when he saw my outfit. I was dressed ready for a fight.

“Do you know me?” Steve asked.

“You’re Steve. I read about you in a museum.” James hesitated before answering. I glanced down at his hand to see he had been to the market. Slowly I took a step toward him, ignoring Sam’s warnings through the comms.

“James?” I asked quietly.

“Katie.” He answered, a mix of joy and worry in his voice. His gaze was fixed to the scars around my eye. His hand came out to brush across the scars on my cheek.

“Ingram.”

“But… you heal?” James’ voice held confusion and pain.

“Not this time. But it’s over now. They’re gone. He’s dead.” I smiled softly.

“Good.” He replied simply.

“I wasn’t in Vienna. I don’t do that anymore.” James spoke. I looked down to see a necklace, a knot of glass gently resting against his chest, _he’s kept it all this time, he’s continued to wear it!_ A bolt of happiness ran through my body, I couldn’t help but smile.

“Well the people who think you did are coming here now. And they’re not planning on taking you alive.” Steve explained.

“That’s smart. Good strategy.” James replied. I held his hand in reassurance. James looked up, hearing footsteps above him.

“Bucky.” I caught his attention. He pressed a searing kiss against my lips and looked to the parcel in my hand.

“Happy birthday Katie.” James gently whispered against my lips.

 

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight Buck.” Steve told him. James stepped away from me, placing his bag down and looking at his left hand.

“It always ends in a fight… Katie… get out of here…” James made eye contact with me.

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Please.” He replied as he took his glove off and formed a fist. I quickly stepped over to him and pressed a kiss against his lips. I smiled sadly at him then I was stood on the roof of the building next to James’. The one I remembered that he told me he’d planned to use as an escape route.

 

I stood and listened the gunfire and explosions. I paced the roof waiting for him, hoping he’d make it out alive. The emptiness I felt when James had left me was gone. Suddenly I dodged a rucksack landing more or less where I had been stood. I gently picked it up and looked inside and saw sets of notebooks stored inside. I waited with worry.

“James!” I gasped as I watched him jump from the building and land a few feet from me with a grunt. He took the rucksack from my hands and kept running. I ran a few feet behind him, _I’m not going to lose you again! I’m strong now, I can protect you!_

 

Suddenly a figure came from nowhere and knocked James to the ground.

“James!”

I watched in shock as a black suited figure stood, _a cat?_ I wondered incredulously. Fighting broke out between the two of them, each time I tried to intervene the suited person kicked me away, _they’re fast!_ I struggled to stand as I watched in panic as James was pinned to the ground, the attacker’s suit had sharp metal claws that he was trying to use to _kill_ James. I then noticed the armed helicopter making its way into view. I dashed into the line of fire and placed my hands out, trying to stop the gunfire from hitting both James and his attacker. _No one is going to die!_ I cried out in discomfort and frustration as the helicopter moved, making it harder to stop the stream of bullets.

“Katie!” James shouted, fear coating his voice. When I couldn’t stop the final bullets, I screamed as they went through my shoulder, leg and side. James’ attacker pushed me out of the way taking the fire, _bullet proof… fuck me!_ I glanced over to James, I mouthed ‘go’ to him. I quickly pushed into his mind and made him kick the legs of his attacker, I pulled back from his mind and laid on the roof. I heard footsteps running away from me.

“Kate.” Steve lifted me up.

“Go! I’ll catch up.” I pushed him to follow after them.

 

I focused on James and appeared behind him, he was running, I turned to see his attacker following closely behind. I kept up with James using my ability. He pulled me close as he threw off a biker and took the bike then dragged me onto the vehicle before fleeing again.

“Are you alright?” He shouted.

“Kind of. Just _go!_ ” I shouted back. I kept my gaze behind us, adrenaline pumping through my veins. I screamed as we were thrown to the side, James’ left arm kept up from colliding with the ground, he kicked off his attacker and pushed us back up. I squeezed James, I rested my forehead on his back and sighed in relief. I watched as James threw some kind of device above us, a few moments and it detonated. Suddenly James and I were thrown from the bike. I screamed as I collided with the ground and rolled down the road. I glanced to my right to see the suited man about to slash at James. Steve rushed forward and knocked him away.

 

Abruptly we were surrounded by police and special forces. Steve and James were stood side by side, Steve had his hand out, silently telling James not to fight. I fought to stand but a wave of nausea flowed over me.

“Buc-“ I coughed up blood and looked down in confusion. I heard my name being called as my knees gave up. Then I felt myself being held in James’ arms. He kept calling my name but everything was spinning. I glanced up to the suited person and watched as they removed their helmet, _it’s…him?_ My brow furrowed in confusion. I noticed Rhodey a few meters from me, he was speaking to Steve. Shouting was heard as the man I knew as Prince T’challa took a slow step toward me. I felt myself be roughly removed from James’ grip and dumped on the floor. Heated words were exchanged and I was picked up again, I saw the dark skinned man carry me, I tried to push away but I was weak.

 

I was laid gently on the ground, another set of shouts filled the air, T’challa argued back.

“Katherine.” I heard Rhodey’s voice above me. I whined in reply. I yelped when I felt something cold and sharp come in contact with my wounds.

“You stopped me from being shot? Even though I was about to kill your friend, why?” T’challa wondered aloud, whether he was actually asking me I don’t know. When he stepped away I started to feel better, I pushed myself up and watched as they took him into custody.

“You too Katherine.” Rhodey sounded disappointed. He helped me to my feet, then I too was restrained. I took a deep breath, fighting against the fear then I remembered the night I spent with Steve.

 


	36. Chapter 36

“Your highness?” I broke the silence in the vehicle, I turned to face the man sat beside me.

“Yes?” He answered, his gaze meeting mine.

“Thank you… I know you could’ve let me… I was your enemy…”

“You aren’t. Your friend is.” He replied. I frowned and looked at my lap.

“You stepped between me and gunfire.” T’challa’s accented voice spoke.

“I wasn’t going to let anyone die.” I answered plainly. I looked up to see respect in his eyes.

 

They had taken James for psychiatric evaluation. As they took him away I gave him a sad look which he also gave back, but I saw the relief of me being alive and fine. We were escorted to a glass room, T’challa was sat outside the room at a table. Steve, Sharon and Sam were discussing what had happened, while I made my way to T’challa.

“You’re wrong,” I started. “It wasn’t him. Someone else murdered your father.” I stood by the man’s side.

“If he isn’t guilty, why did he run?”

“Can I sit?”

He gestured to the chair beside him.

“He was running because special forces had come to kill him. And then you appeared and didn’t give him a chance, you just attacked. He was scared, if you knew his past, what Hydra have done to him… I’m sorry your father was murdered… once… once this is all over… if you want,” I hesitated. “If you want I’ll help you find the person responsible.” I stood and started to walk away. I owed him one, and I wanted to help. I didn’t know if he believed me or not, time would tell.

 

Suddenly the power went out, I glanced around quickly and saw the security red flashing lights. I quickly looked into Sharon’s mind and appeared by the elevator at sub level five in the east wing. As quickly and quietly as I could I made my way to where I could hear voices. I rushed into the room and saw the psychiatric doctor holding a red notebook, I glanced at James to see him unsettled.

“What the hell is going on!” I yelled.

“Ah! You have a friend?” The doctor walked towards me. I stiffened when I felt something stab into my inner thigh. I hissed then screamed as the man forced it deeper in, twisted it then broke the end off. He pulled back the remnants of a fountain pen. My fingers found the wound as blood started to gush from it.

“Katie!” James shouted. The doctor pushed me and I fell against the wall, he kicked my feet from under me so I slid to the floor.

“Now.” The doctor turned and began reading from the book in Russian. I watched in horror as James begged him to stop. Then it wasn’t James anymore. I started to cry as I watched him break free. I sat there helpless as the doctor questioned him. He looked at James then at me. He leaned in close and whispered in his ear.

 

James strode to me and crouched down.

“James…” I spoke softly. He gripped my throat with his right hand, squeezing it tightly. “Bucky!” I cried out. I then noticed how his left hand went to my wound and pressed in. I screamed in pain. _Please stop! Please!_ Discreetly he pulled out the tip of the pen and put my hand over the wound. I glanced down then up at James, my eyes wide with realization. He leaned in close, no emotion on his face. I whimpered softly.

“Eyes.” He whispered coldly. I closed my eyes then felt the grip of his hand disappear. I stayed silent, faking being unconscious. Then I heard fighting, I opened my eyes to see Sam thrown across the room.

“Sam!” I shouted in shock. I rushed over to him, the wound in my thigh healed. I watched as James fought Steve, then they were gone out of the room.

 

Sam groaned as he came to a moment later. He glanced past me to see the doctor looking down the elevator shaft.

“Hey.” Sam shouted as he sat up, the man started to flee.

“You go after him, I’m finding James. He won’t hurt me.” I told him as we stood and ran down the hallway.

“Why?” Sam asked.

“I’m not sure!” I shouted as I went in the direction of James.

 

Steve managed to catch up to me as we went up onto the roof. I stood back as Steve tried to stop the helicopter that James was attempting to get away in. _I think me and helicopters have a very unhealthy relationship._ I jumped back when the helicopter came crashing down. I rushed over to Steve when James shot his arm out and was choking him.

“Stop it!” I screamed. I gripped Steve’s arm trying to pull him away from James’ grasp. I gasped when the helicopter went over the edge of the building, Steve pushed me from him as we fell. I landed in the water a few feet from the helicopter.

“Steve! James!” I screamed.

“Get us out of here!” I heard Steve’s voice beside me. He had a unconscious James in his arms. I gripped them both and took them somewhere safe.

 

“Go get-“

I appeared a few moments later with Sam in my grasp.

“Warning next time Hop-“ Sam stopped short. I wandered over to where James had been restrained, his left arm in some kind of machine. He was out cold still. Steve had gone off to watch outside, the sound of helicopters and sirens blaring nearby. Sam was stood in the doorway watching me as I pushed James’ hair away from his face. Minutes passed and James was still unconscious, I held his other hand and begged him to wake up.

“You shouldn’t be that close to _him_.” Sam spat out.

“He won’t hurt me. The doctor attacked me and James was ordered to kill me or _something_ instead he removed what was in my leg so I could _heal_ and told me to _fake_. It isn’t the first time he’s done something like that. That’s how I know!” I bit out in reply.

 

James groaned softly as he came to. He glanced over to his left hand and let out a sound of distress finding it was incapacitated.

“James.” I whispered slowly. His head snapped over to me, his hand came up and cupped my cheek.

“You’re alive!” He whispered happily.

“Thanks to you.”

James leaned forward, then pressed his lips to mine, his fingers of his right hand ran through my hair. I barely noticed Sam calling for Steve. I leaned up and wrapped my arms around the back of his neck. I kissed him passionately, all the feelings that had died down months ago had resurfaced abruptly.

“Katherine.” Steve called my name, pain coating his voice. I pulled away from James and stood quickly.

“Steve…” James spoke slowly, looking up to his friend.

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” Steve sounded angry. James seem to look off into the distance before replying.

“Your mom’s name is Sarah,” He hesitated a moment before continuing, chuckling as he did. “You used to wear newspapers in your shoes.”

“Can’t read that in a museum.” Steve’s voice was filled with happiness. I looked away, guilt eating me alive.

 

Gingerly I went back to James’ side and sat on the ground. His hand reach out and grasped mine, I squeezed it in reassurance. I sat in silence as James and Steve discussed what happened, then came the revelation of him not being the only Winter Soldier. I stroked his hand as he became more nervous, his fingers of his left hand moving more and more.

“Steve…”

“What?” Steve spat out.

“Steve I’m sorry!” I exclaimed.

“What’re you sorry for, the fact you _lied to me_ , that you _purposefully_ led me away from where Buck was or maybe that you led me on?”

“Led you on?” My brow furrowed.

“You don’t love me.” He shook his head.

“I didn’t lie about that… I fell in love with you Steve… I just… I still love James…” I looked up to James, tears in my eyes.

“Steve… I told her to go to you, she’d be safer with you. I didn’t want to be found either… not yet… but,” James smiled at me softly. “She really does love you… it’s in her eyes.”

“I can’t Buck…” Steve stepped away, Sam following him.

 

Steve and Sam started discussing something while I sat miserably at James’ side. His fingers drifted through my hair gently.

“He’ll come around.”

“Then what?” I whispered.

“I read something… while you were away… found out something new…”

“Go on.” I insisted.

“Well… admittedly I thought about this situation… I know Steve won’t want to let you go. He loves you. I- I love you as well. I found this thing called polyamory… when this is all over… we should talk about it?” James asked. I nodded gently and pulled James close, his left arm now free, he wrapped his arms around me.

“We need to go.” Steve announced.

 

It was tense in the car that Steve had commandeered. Sam wasn’t fond of James, and Steve was mad at me. I manipulated the radio in the car until it started to play music. Sam nodded happily as the music played. I glanced over at James to see a look of discontent on his face. He leaned forward and turned it off.

“Hey! I was listening to that!” Sam complained, he turned it back on. James leaned forward again and turned it off once more.

“It sounds like what the bathroom tap in Steve’s apartment did!” James argued back. Steve chuckled lightly and shook his head.

“Well tough shit!” Sam replied as he turned it on again. I sighed and manipulated the radio, breaking it.

“Now no one is going to listen to it!” I cried out.

 

“You haven’t opened it?” James spoke quietly as he noticed me messing with the colourful box I never got chance to open.

“Not had chance… but I do now.” I smiled as I tore at the paper, two small boxes fell away from the wrapping. The first one made me chuckle, a set of earphones.

“Didn’t like my music?” I teased.

“Some of it was okay…” James drifted off. I slowly opened the second box and smiled happily. A necklace sat in the box, a silver letter ‘K’.

“I love it.”

“Turn it over.” James pointed to the necklace. I turned it over and saw a set of numbers engraved on the back.

“It’s the day we first met.” James spoke bashfully.

“The day you gave me food and took out the shrapnel?” I smiled fondly.

“Yes. Everything changed after that day.”

“No kidding.” I laughed softly. I leaned over and kissed him lovingly. I took the necklace out and fastened it around my neck.

 

I noticed Steve glanced through the mirror at me, a mix of happiness and sadness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry I yelled Kate.” Steve quietly apologized.

“What was that Steve?” James teased. I saw Steve grin and shake his head.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated.

“It’s okay. James has something to talk to us about when this is all over.” I explained.

“Okay,” Steve replied. “So… it’s your birthday?”

“Yeah…”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Sam turned to face me.

“Well with everything going off, it wasn’t relevant. Other things were more important.” I glanced over to James during my last words. He smiled softly at me in response.

“You could’ve told me…” Steve spoke quietly. Steve stopped the car and climbed out. I looked to see Sharon a few feet away. It was silent in the car for a while until James spoke.

“Can you move your seat up?” James asked Sam.

“No.” Sam replied. I groaned in frustration. I shifted over a little and James followed me, wrapping his left arm around me so he could fit on the seat.

 

Steve stored his, Sam’s and I’s equipment in the back of the car and then we were on our way to meet up with Clint. When the car stopped at the airport we all climbed out, I wandered over to Wanda and embraced her tightly.

“Are you okay?” I asked as I pulled away.

“I’m fine.” She smiled happily.

“What happened?” Clint’s voice was next to me. I hugged him tightly before I explained what happened to my eye. When an unfamiliar person was introduced I went back to stand with James.

“I love you.” I told him.

“I love you too.” He smiled as he looked down at me, his hand came to wrap around my waist.

“We should get moving!” James called to the others once they’d finished talking to Scott, who Sam had mentioned earlier.

 

Suddenly an alarm started to blare and foreign words came over a speaker.

“They’re evacuating the airport.” James announced. I gripped James’ hand, _I don’t want to fight the rest of the team._

“I’ll keep you safe. I always have. Always will.” James looked down at me gently.

“Suit up!” Steve ordered.

 

I was crouched beside James and Sam in the airport as they searched for the Quin-jet.

“Once we find it. You go to it, I don’t want you fighting.” James told me.

“I’m not going to let everyone fight while I stay on the sidelines!” I argued. “I can protect myself James, I’m not the helpless woman I was back then.”

“I know you’re not. I just don’t want you to get hurt,” James hushed me. “If you really want to fight, just don’t get hurt.”

“I won’t.”

 

The three of us ran through the terminal, we all needed to meet up at the Quin-jet.

“What the hell’s that?” Bucky’s voice filled with confusion. I glanced to see someone crawling across the outside windows of the airport.

“Everyone’s got a gimmick now.” Sam replied frustrated. Suddenly I dodged Sam’s body as he was kicked aside. James went to punch the figure but they caught his hand. His brow furrowed in confusion.

“You have a metal arm? That is awesome dude!” A male voice spoke. _They sound so young!_ I gasped at the thought. Suddenly Sam flew straight at the man, freeing James.

“He sounds like a kid!” I said incredulously.

“Says the kid.” James teased. I punched his shoulder.

“Old man!” I teased back.

 

“You guys want some help or…” I leaned on the handrail looking down at Sam and James in their sticky situation.

“Katie!” James warned.

“What, you two look awfully comfortable.” I teased.

“Hop-scotch!” Sam shouted.

“Fine. Fine.” I grinned as I appeared beside them and removed the webbing attaching them to the ground. James brushed the bruise fading on my cheek from where the…spider kid… hit me.

“I’m fine. Come on we need to get out of here!” I insisted. I quickly appeared outside beside Steve as Scott handed him something.

“Throw it at this.” Scott instructed. I flinched when the truck exploded near Rhodey, Natasha and T’challa.

“Well done Scott!” I groaned as we all ran toward the jet.

“Sorry about that person who likes to poof a lot.” Scott replied.

 

I dodged Rhodey’s attacks and gunfire as the other parts of the team were caught in combat with the others. I led him closer and closer to a set on metal containers then manipulated the metal to reach out like arms and close around the limbs of his suit and pin him down. I ran back to help the others with their own fights. I saw James and T’challa locked together and froze for a moment. _James!_ The distraction gave enough time for the spider kid to kick me in the side, launching me across the asphalt. I grunted in pain.

“You’re just a kid!” I yelled as they landed a few feet from me.

“You’re young too!” He yelled back.

“You’re going to get yourself hurt!” I warned.

“Well… erm…” Then he swung off. _He’s going to get himself killed!_ I groaned. I tried going after him, appearing where I last saw him but he was fast. I tried manipulating the buildings and planes and vehicles to try and slow him down at least but his reflexes were quick.

“J- just stop!” I cried out. I yelped as I lost my footing on the top of a plane and started to slide down the side. I cried out as I started to fall. I screwed my eyes shut as I waited for the impact. Something collided with my body and I was tackled to the ground.

“I thought you said _I_ was going to get hurt.” The spider kid teased.

“Thanks.” I groaned as I stood. Then he was gone. I glanced over to see Wanda catching her breath. I appeared beside her and watched her back as she took a minute.

“You’re bleeding.” Her accented voice worried. I wiped my nose and turned to her.

“Rest. I’ve got your back.” I told her with a smile.

 

“No you get to the jet. Both of you,” Sam insisted over the comms, I looked over to see James and Steve taking shelter from the fight. “The rest of us aren’t getting out of here.”

I ran over to them, knowing I would stay behind so they could go.

“Katie, come with us.” James begged.

“I can’t Bucky. I need to stay here.”

“Katherine.” Steve warned.

“Steve I’m staying. I… I need you two to know that…”

Suddenly something, or rather someone seemed to grow into a gigantic being, we all stood back as we saw Scott holding Rhodey.

“I guess that’s the signal.” Steve spoke, he sounded impressed.

“Go! Get out of here. I’ll watch your back!” I insisted.

“Katie what were you-“ James started. I rushed forward and kissed both men before stepping back.

“I love you both. Just _go!_ ” I pointed to the jet.

 

I followed several feet behind them, the distance getting further and further as they used their abilities from the serums that ran through their veins. They were so close to the Quin-jet when Vision started to destroy a tower beside it. I watched as Wanda used her powers to keep it held in the air but was struggling. I ran to get closer to her, to help her keep the structure up, but Rhodey used a device in his suit that caused her to grip her head in pain, which made her drop the building. _Now’s the time where I see how far I can push myself and not die!_ I manipulated the materials in the structure, keeping it in the air just enough so they’d be able to get into the hangar, I screamed at the strain it put on my body. I then manipulated certain circuits in Rhodey’s suit so the device causing Wanda pain wouldn’t work. I rushed over to her and held her close.

“Kate.” She whispered, wiping at he corner of my mouth.

“I’m fine.” I insisted.

 

I glanced up to see the spider kid being hit by Scott as he fell, the force sending him flying. I gasped and appeared behind him in the air, we fell through a set of boxes and rolled across the asphalt. I shivered as I looked over to see him laid across the floor. I crawled over to him, he panicked as I got close. Tony had flown down and ran to him, worry etched onto his face.

“I- it’s okay,” I started to cough, ignoring the blood. “A- are you… alright?” I kept coughing.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” He insisted. I laid on the ground as Tony lectured him and told him to go home.

“Katherine.” Tony knelt down beside me, my breathing was ragged and it hurt. I whined softly.

“Tony…” My voice was quiet. I heard his voice apologize before he flew off. I saw the Quin-jet fly overhead. The young man crawled to me and held my hand, promising I was going to be okay.

“I-I’m Katherine.”

“Peter.” He replied. He squeezed my hand gently.

“How old?”

“Fifth-teen.”

“Wow you’re young!” I exclaimed.

“But you’re-“

“Older than you, that’s for sure!” I teased.

 

I was shivering in Clint’s arms when we were all gathered up and taken into custody. We were flown somewhere over the sea, I was starting to recover, it was much slower than any time before.

“Hop-scotch…” Sam’s voice was filled with pity.

“I’m okay.” I whispered. Somewhere along the way I had lost consciousness. When I came to we were all being restrained and escorted through a set of corridors. I panicked when a familiar feeling started to set in.

“No! No! We got rid of you! There isn’t an Exodus anymore! Stop! No! He’s dead!” I yelled, pulling on my restraints.

“Katherine it’s okay, calm down!” Sam shouted.

“Where are we!” I screamed. I was roughly pushed up against the wall by a guard, a gun aimed at my face.

“Hey! Let her go! She’s fucking scared!” Clint shouted, rage filling his voice.

 

I whimpered as I slid to the floor, sobs wracking my body.

“Please… I can’t go through it all again.” I cried. Someone crouched beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. Scott.

“If you could have any ice cream, what would you have?” Scott asked, he helped me stand. _There was the vanilla I had with James… but the chocolate orange one I had with Steve…_

“Vanilla and-and chocolate orange…” I stuttered.

“Okay, what sauce? Oh and what sprinkles? My little girl Cassie, she _loves_ like nearly all the flavors of ice cream except pistachio. And she’ll cover it all in chocolate or strawberry sauce then we have to watch her or she’ll empty all the sprinkles onto it. There was one time when I came home to see she made a well in the ice cream that was still in the tub and had filled it with sauce and sprinkles.” Scott recounted stories of his daughter to me as he helped lead me through the corridors.

 

One by one we were separated from each other.

“Not you two.” A guard motioned to me and Wanda. We looked at each other and held each other’s hand as we were led away from the others.

“Miss Holt please sit here.” A man instructed, gesturing to a chair. I sat and watched as Wanda was forced into a straight jacket, and a device placed around her neck before she was marched out. _What have they done to her!_ She looked miserable as she disappeared around the corner. The distraction made it so the sharp scratch I felt in my neck came as a surprise. My finger raised up to the spot where I felt the jab but nothing was there. I then felt my limbs start to go numb and weak. _What is going on? What did they do?_ The headache I had since we had arrived, a symptom of overusing my abilities turned into a migraine. I whimpered softly but no words of comfort came.

 

I watched as they wheeled in some kind of cylinder device, _no!_ I tried to pull away but my body was limp and wouldn’t move the way I wanted it to. I was lifted and carried to the device and laid inside. I felt straps close around my throat, wrists, ankles and waist. I let the tears flow down my cheeks as the glass screen came up, shutting me inside. Then it felt like when I first looked inside James’ mind, everything went extremely cold.


	37. Chapter 37

I whined softly as fingers gently ran over my temple. I turned towards the feeling and heard a chuckle.

“Steve let her sleep.” Sam’s voice complained.

“She’s been asl-“

“In cryo… not asleep. She was in a bad state when she got there. She needs rest.” Clint added. I rubbed my eyes and pushed myself up to a sitting position.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Steve asked gently, pulling me close as I started to go limp, my body not fully recovered.

“Like shit,” I replied “What did they do?”

“Put you on ice. Wasn’t pretty.” Scott’s voice answered.

“Where are _we_?” I asked, glanced around to see we were inside an aircraft. “They haven’t let us go have they?”

“Steve over here thought it was a great idea to break us out. Which in the end was actually a good idea. We have asylum on Wakanda thanks to T’challa.” Sam explained.

“W- where’s Bucky?” My brow furrowed, not seeing him in the faces surrounding me.

“In Wakanda, he’s fine. Sort of in one piece.” Steve hesitated.

“Sort of?” I pressed.

“He… he lost his left arm again.” Steve admitted.

“Again…” I groaned. I rested my head against Steve’s chest and let my eyes flutter shut. His gentle touches on my skin helped me drift off the sleep.

 

I woke suddenly, nausea running through me.

“Hey is there a bathroom on here?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah, back there on the left.” Clint pointed behind him. I thanked him and wandered to where the bathroom was. I leaned over the small sink, breathing deeply. I placed the back of my hand on my forehead and found I was starting to burn up. I leant down and splashed water over my face. I clung to the sink as I tried to compose myself. Suddenly bile rose in my throat and I couldn’t hold it back. I groaned as I felt myself become weak. Then I let out a cry as pain lanced through my head. I was breathing heavily, my grip gave up on the sink and I ended up on the floor.

“Katherine!” I heard Steve’s worried voice.

“S-something’s wrong…” I moaned in pain, clutching my head. I vaguely heard words being exchanged my mind hanging onto the word ‘blood’. I felt too hot, it felt like something was crawling underneath my skin.

 

“I’ve got you.” Steve whispered calmly against my temple. I leaned against his body, I shut my eyes then swallowed thickly.

“I-I don’t… I don’t feel well…” I whimpered.

“You’re going to be okay Katherine. Stay with me.” Steve pressed. I felt pressure on my wrist and groaned at the discomfort. When I started to feel better the jet had landed, Steve helped me stand and supported me by wrapping his arm around my back, and under my arms to keep me standing. The further we walked through the building the stronger I felt until I was able to walk on my own.

“Down here.” Steve guided me down a corridor. He held his hand out signalling me to stop where I was as we reached the outside of a room.

“Wait here.” He smiled softly. He disappeared in and was speaking with someone, I heard James’ voice and smiled widely.

“You have a visitor.” Steve spoke loudly. _Guess that’s my cue._ I strode into the room and straight to James who was sat on an examination table. I gasped when I saw what remained of his left arm, I couldn’t stop the tears welling up in my eyes.

“Bucky… oh God!” I rushed to him and embraced him, I accidently knocked him backwards making him lose his balance. He laughed softly and wrapped his right arm around me tightly.

“You’re here.” He breathed.

“Thanks to Steve.” I glanced over to Steve and sent him a loving smile.

 

“Katie… I have to go back under.” James broke the silence.

“Wait… no!” I cried out, gripping his hand.

“Until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under is the best thing,” He hesitated. “For everybody.”

“No it isn’t James!” I started to pace back and forth, _I can’t lose him, I can’t!_ I knew that something was wrong inside me, that something was happening and it was when I used my abilities. I swallowed thickly and stepped over to James.

“What if I could get rid of it?” I rushed out.

“Katherine.” Steve’s voice held concern.

“Are you sure, the last time you tried…” James drifted off.

“I know how to use my abilities properly now. We made that deal remember, you held up your end. Now it’s time for me to hold up mine.” I declared.

“Okay Katie. Just… be careful.” James cupped my cheek and gently stroked my skin with his thumb.

“I will.” I stood between James’ legs and gently pressed my fingers against his temples. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Entering his mind was a lot easier than I remembered, the resistance of being pushed out was barely there.

 

I shivered as I got closer and closer to his programming, I bit my lip to hold back a whimper. I flinched as his programming tried throwing me out, it put up a fight but I managed to place my grip around it. Piece by piece I purged the programming from his mind. I heard James cry out and felt a pressure on my arm. I let out a breath I was holding in as I pulled away, I opened my eyes and saw James rubbing his temples, groaning lowly.

“See… I’m… I’m stronger… Steve I don’t…” I spoke slowly, I turned to Steve who rushed to me as my legs gave out.

“Katherine!” I heard James’ panicked voice.

“We need help over here!” Steve shouted. I could taste blood as my body started shivering violently. Then my mind went blank.

 

I was surrounded by warmth and groaned at the feeling of fingers gently stroking my skin. I noticed how they were both warm and cold, I grumbled at the feeling.

“Katherine?”

“Katie?”

“What!” I groaned. Relieved laughter came from behind me, the warmth around me vibrated. I rubbed my eyes and looked around me, _some kind of medical room thing_. I looked down at my hands and saw monitors and an intravenous drip attached to me. I glanced to the hands resting gently on my hips. One human and the other metal. Steve and James were sat on the bed on each side of me.

“James?” I peered up to James who looked down at me, concern in his eyes.

“T’challa’s research team…” James answered. I lifted my fingers and ran them over the metal plates, smiling softly at the familiar whirring sound as he moved his arm.

“What happened? I mean I _know_ but what happened?” I asked, turning to look up at Steve.

“Not sure, T’challa is having his people look into it. But first thoughts is that it’s something to do with your abilities.” Steve explained. _I thought that would be the case._

 

Both men had left a few hours later after being shooed out by some nurses. I was told to rest until they believed I was healthy enough to leave. That was the most boring week of my life, I was forbidden from using my abilities and when I started improving faster everyone’s fears were confirmed. T’challa had made a few visits to check up on me, he spoke of his father fondly and he now knew who had murdered him. He became a bit like a big brother to me, he’d take me for short walks around the building so I’d get out of where I was being kept for rest and observations.

“Thank you for everything your highness.”

“Please, there is no need for formalities.” His accented voice held a smile.

“Could we go back? I’m tired.” I quietly asked as I looked out of the floor to ceiling windows stretching across the length of the corridor, seeing the forests of Wakanda lit up by the moon.

“Of course. Forgive me for keeping you awake so late.” He apologised.

“It’s fine. I couldn’t sleep before so… you’ve helped me… again.” I smiled fondly at the man at my side. After he had helped me back into bed, he hesitated by the door.

“The Captain and Barnes have an apartment here… once you are healthy enough, you are free to move in with them.” T’challa explained before he walked away.

“Hey… can I ask something?” I called out as I explored the apartment T’challa had gifted us.

“Sure, go on.” Steve and James replied in unison.

“Is there anything between the two of you?” I asked shyly.

“What do you mean?” Steve stepped towards me, his brow furrowed.

“You remember that night when you slept beside me, after watching all those films with everyone?” I prompted.

“Yes, you asked me to stay…” Steve coughed and his cheeks became flushed.

“Steve?” James placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“It’s nothing…” Steve coughed.

“Yeah and that’s not the face you pull when you’re hiding something.” James teased, gently punching Steve in the shoulder.

“Remember after my mom died… you invited me to live with you?”

“How can I forget? And I see you being stubborn hasn’t changed at all.” James smiled softly.

“Well… you remembered what happened… after that?” Steve coughed nervously.

“Oh! _That!_ ” James realised. “Wait… how do _you_ know?” James turned to me, figuring out that I knew as well.

“I ended up inside his head…” I confessed. “It was an accident I swear but I saw the two of you and they way you interacted and I wanted to know more and then… well _that!_ ”

“Does is bother you?” Steve asked.

“Not at all. Just surprises me a little that you have feelings for both each other and me… I’m assuming you both…” I pointed between them. Steve and James shared a glance.

“We’ve been working on it but yeah… I think so.” James replied.

“Buck told me about that idea of his.” Steve sat on the sofa and gestured for me to sit.

“And?” I asked.

“I’m up for it.” Steve nodded thoughtfully.

“Quite literally.” James coughed, a smirk across his face.

“What about you, are you okay with that? Polyamory?” Steve held my hand gently.

“I get to be with the two men I love more than anything. Why wouldn’t I say yes?” I smiled gleefully.

 

Weeks passed and everything was quiet, no disturbances or problems, we were all safe. Everyone that Steve had rescued from the Raft prison was taking refuge in Wakanda. Wanda and Clint were at each others side most of the time and when they weren’t I often saw Clint and Scott exchanging stories about their children and families. I noticed how their smiles fell away as they reminisced. _Maybe I could use my powers one last time?_ The next time T’challa made a visit to see how we were all doing, I took him to one side, pulling him toward the balcony over looking the forest. His Dora Milaje keeping watch close by.

“Clint and Scott… I was wondering if there was enough room here for their families to come?” I gently asked, my gaze fixed at my feet. T’challa seemed to consider it for a moment before placing his fingers under my chin so I would look at him. He simply nodded.

“I was wondering if maybe… maybe it would be safe to use my abilities just this once…” I bit my lip as I waited for an answer.

“I would not recommend it, but,” T’challa sighed for a moment. “You _don’t_ use your abilities again afterward.”

“You have my word, cross my heart.” I made a little show of drawing an ‘X’ over my chest. T’challa chuckled and guided me back inside.

“I’ll see you later?” I asked.

“Of course. Now, be careful.” T’challa warned. I nodded and wandered off to find Clint.

 

The cheeky bastard was playing a game of darts with Scott, of course Scott was losing.

“This isn’t fair, how’re you so good?” Scott complained. Wanda glanced up from a book she was reading and snickered. Clint just shrugged as he collected the darts.

“No idea. Luck I guess.” Clint replied nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes and took the opportunity to glance in both their minds and find where their families would be. I took a shaky breath and in a puff of blue mist I found myself interrupting a meal.

“Hi. No time to explain. But hold onto me.” I awkwardly explained as I saw a woman and man look at me in shock and a little girl clapping, joy in her eyes. As the little girl held my hand she looked up to me.

“Are you a friend of daddy’s?” Her small voice asked.

“Yes I’m a friend of your daddy’s.” I replied. The woman and man held onto me tight and then we were back in Wakanda.

“Erm… wait here. Don’t go anywhere.” I told them as they looked around them in surprise and confusion. Then I found myself on a small farm, I walked up a set of stairs onto a porch and knocked on the door.

“Hello?” I called out. I span around when I heard the sound of a gun.

“Who the hell are you?” A woman asked.

“Laura right?” I held my hands out signalling I didn’t mean any harm. The woman looked confused for a moment before realisation came over her.

“What’s he gotten himself into _this_ time?” Laura walked past me and into the house calling out to her children.

“Hey, remember me?” I smiled happily at Clint’s three kids. The eldest two nodded enthusiastically. Lucky bounded up to me and licked my hand happily.

“Hold on to me.” I instructed, I held onto Lucky. Once again I found myself back at Wakanda, Clint’s family, and dog, in tow.

 

The two families looked at each other, confusion passing over their faces. I opened the door to the room we were in and ushered them out.

“Go down the corridor, turn left and they should-“

I didn’t have time to finish before Cassie, Cooper and Lila all ran off, Lucky not far behind them. I chuckled and shook my head in amusement. We followed after them then suddenly I heard exclamations and laughter. I turned the corner to see the two men embracing their children tightly. They looked up and saw everyone else, Scott grumbling slightly when he saw the man. I stood leaning on the wall as I watched them all interact, Scott being told off by his ex-wife Maggie for his actions at the airport. Cassie thought her dad was awesome and she got along with Clint’s kids really well.

“I see you’ve reunited them.” T’challa’s voice was beside me. I glanced over to see pride shining in his eyes.

“Yes, I thought they’d be happy but I didn’t expect them to be _this_ happy.” I explained. T’challa excused himself to introduce himself to the new company.

 

I took a few steps away, deciding to return to the apartment a few floors up. I swallowed thickly as nausea washed over me and held my head as a migraine started. _I’m fine, it’ll pass._ I silently worried. I used the wall for support as I walked down the corridor. By the time I had reached the apartment and stepped inside no one was any the wiser of what I had done. Steve and James just looked over to me a smile on their face.


	38. Chapter 38

I woke up in the middle of the night in a hot sweat, my body shaking. I gasped as I sat up and pain lanced through my head. _It’s just from using my abilities, it’ll pass._ I wandered into the bathroom and wiped away the sweat with cold water and sighed sadly. I dried my face and stepped out of the bathroom.

“Katie?” James’ voice startled me.

“James. Holy shit you scared me!” I laughed.

“Are you okay?” James stepped toward me and embraced me.

“I’m fine.”

“Katherine,” _Oh no… that’s not a good sign._ “I’m worried about you. Steve is as well. We’re _both_ worried about you. Please tell us what’s happening!”

I wrapped my arms around James and cuddled him, resting my head on his hard chest.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” I reached up and cupped his cheek. I leaned up and kissed him lovingly before stepping away.

“Goodnight Bucky.” I smiled as I went back to bed.

 

I walked into the communal kitchen area and saw Clint and Scott caring for their families.

“Look daddy!” Cassie pointed over to me.

“So this is who brought you here?” Scott cocked a brow. Clint rolled his eyes and strode over to me.

“You said you weren’t going to use your powers! Does Cap and James know?” Clint harshly whispered. I knew his tone was only because he cared.

“No, please don’t tell them.” I begged. Clint sighed and hugged me.

“You brought my family here… so I’ll keep quiet. I’ll make sure big mouth over there keeps quiet as well.” Clint gestured to Scott.

 

I was stood on the balcony, enjoying the warmth and the views of Wakanda. I turned when I heard Scott on the phone, talking lovingly with someone. I raised a brow and chuckled as he rolled his eyes and moved his hand as if it was talking.

“I’ll talk to you soon.” He replied to the person on the phone before hanging up.

“Who was that?” I asked gently.

“Hope.” Scott replied.

“I could…”

“No.” Scott placed his hands on my shoulders.

“Okay. Okay.” I relented.

“T’challa gave me this,” He waved the phone in his hand. “Can’t be traced. It’ll do for now.”

Swiftly I reached out for Scott and clung to him as I went dizzy, I felt myself go cold.

“Woah!” Scott called as I lost my balance and almost fell to the floor.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” I pushed myself back up to my feet.

“Katherine, you’re white as a ghost! Which is bad of me to say because you look half dead!” Scott quietly exclaimed.

“I’m okay Scott,” I hissed out. “Not a word to _anyone!_ ”

“Yes, yes.” He held his hands out.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean… I just don’t want them to worry.” I apologised.

“It’s okay. Just… go rest okay?” Scott rubbed my back comfortingly.

 

Days went by and I wasn’t getting any better. I excused myself from meals more often than not. I was tempted to go to T’challa for help, but I was certain it would all pass, I kept telling myself that. The relationship between me Steve and James was going well, we were all taking it slow. We’d all sit together late into the night watching TV, getting them both caught up on pop culture. Then we started sleeping together, the apartment had three bedrooms but the beds were more than big enough to sleep all three of us. We quickly realised that it is easier for two people to sleep together than three, there was plenty on nights when we ending up kicking each other and punching each other when we shifted. It all ended in laughter but it was frustrating until we got used to it.

“Do we have to get up?” James whined, his arms wrapped around my waist, his head on my shoulder. He looked up at me with puppy dog eyes.

“Knock it off Buck!” Steve removed one hand from around my waist and slapped his shoulder. Steve’s head was resting on my other shoulder.

“Come on guys!” I whined. James and Steve looked up to me then at each other. They rolled their eyes before leaning in and pressing a kiss to each other’s lips, James’ fingers getting lost in Steve’s hair.

“I am _right here!_ ” I complained as they leaned over my body.

“I think our girl is jealous.” James teased.

“No. Your girl is being crushed by two massive lumps!” I pushed on their chests but they didn’t budge. They shared a look before diving down and kissing the corners of my mouth before fighting to kiss me fully. I giggled at their actions.

“Better?” Steve sat up.

“Forgiven.” I laughed.

“So you _were_ jealous.” Steve poked my arm.

“I _so_ was _not_.” I stood and shook my head as I left the bedroom.

 

I held onto the counter of the kitchen in our apartment, doubling over in pain and biting back a cry. Luckily it subsided when the two men walked out.

“Everyone is meeting up tonight. Going to have a bit of fun.” Steve mentioned as he brought out three mugs.

“Sounds good.” I smiled. We spent the day wandering around Wakanda, it was a beautiful place, like nothing I had seen before. When we returned James cooked us all something to eat and I sat curled up between the men I love watching films until it was time to meet up with everyone.

“Hey I got a question for you, not sure whether you’ll actually know.” I turned to James when the second film finished.

“Go on.” His brow furrowed.

“When you were him, well you but not you…” I rambled.

“Okay…”

“How come you never hurt me? Why save me?” I asked gently.

“I have no idea Katie. Absolutely no idea. Maybe… Maybe when you first got in my head… it might have… done something… I’m not sure. But I know I could never hurt you.” James admitted. I leant up and pressed a kiss against his forehead.

 

As we reached the communal living area music was blaring out of several speakers. I grinned as I rushed into the room to see a table covered in food, Clint and Scott’s children were mainly taking the sweet stuff from the table.

“Kate!” Wanda rushed over to me and hugged me tightly.

“Hey Wanda.” I smiled.

“Come do karaoke with me!”

“Oh no. No I don’t-“

“Katie, don’t give us that. You used to sing all the time in Romania.” James interrupted. I glared at him as Wanda dragged me away.

“This one!” Wanda pointed as she handed me a wireless microphone. I laughed happily. Neither of us needed the lyrics as the opening of Little Mix’s Black Magic started to play. We wandered around the room, singing as we went. I half stepped half danced over to Steve, Sam and James who were stood in the corner enjoying a drink. As I turned from them and continued around the room I struggled to not laugh when I saw Clint singing along and dancing slightly. All the women were singing along, plus Clint, and the men were laughing. _Everyone is so happy! It’s been such a long time!_

 

After the song I picked up some food as I walked back to James and Steve. We chatted for a while, a wave of fatigue came over me, I leaned on the two men. _They don’t have a clue… good._ Steve stroked my cheek gently as I leaned against him. When it passed I went and sat beside Wanda.

“How’re you doing?” I asked, placing my hand on hers.

“It’s nice here.” She replied.

“You miss him don’t you? Vision.” I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close and she nodded.

“You’ll see him again.” I tried to cheer her up. We made plans to go check out the swimming pool T’challa had told her about.

“Oh God. This is either going to be really good or… well it’s going to be good either way!” Sam suddenly crashed on the sofa next to me and Wanda, he pointed to where Clint stood with a microphone. Wanda’s eyes lit up as Clint began singing Kid Rock’s All Summer Long. I grinned as we found out that Clint could sing really well.

 

“One minute, I need some air.” I excused myself and sneaked out of the room.

“Kate?” I heard Wanda’s voice following me down the corridor.

“I just need a minute.” I spoke quietly. She rushed over to me as I fell against the wall. She placed a hand against my forehead then frowned at me.

“You’re burning up.”

“Just give it a minute. I’ll be okay.” I insisted. I covered my mouth as I coughed violently.

“I’m getting Steve.” Wanda went to stand but I grabbed her hand and shook my head, my eyes wide with fear.

“You’re _sick_.” Wanda pressed.

“I’m fine!” I replied. I pushed myself up from the wall and kept walking down the corridor.

“Katherine!” Wanda shouted. I walked around the corner and heard Wanda and T’challa’s voice. I closed my eyes and breathed slowly.

 

“Stop!” T’challa shouted as he ran up to me.

“Yes your highness. Is everything alright?” I hoped that changing my appearance to fit in with the Dora Milaje might trick him. T’challa gripped my wrist and pulled me down the stairs and toward the medical room. It was empty except me and him.

“I know every one of the Dora Milaje, Katherine.” T’challa’s accented voice chastised. I huffed and changed my appearance back. I flinched as he gasped at my appearance.

“You’re sick. Very sick.” T’challa reached up placing the backs of his fingers against my cheek. He reached for my hand and turned it over seeing it coated in blood. He found a tissue and wiped it away.

“I know. I know I am. I don’t know what to do.” I cried out, tears falling down my cheeks.

“You have lost weight, I can see it in your face. The others. They haven’t said anything?”

“Wanda has figured it out, Scott knows there something wrong but other than that… no.” I admitted. T’challa huffed, his brow furrowing as he thought.

“Come to the lab tomorrow. We will find out what is going on.” T’challa smiled kindly at me.

“Okay.” I smiled sadly.

“Go to your room, get some rest. I will tell Barnes and the Captain you were tired.”

I wrapped my arms around T’challa and hugged him tightly.

“Thank you.” I whispered.

 

I made some bullshit excuse up the following morning to Steve and James and went down to the lab. T’challa was waiting for me when I arrived. With Wakanda being technologically more advanced than any other country, scans and tests were done faster than expected. As we waited for a diagnosis T’challa held me as I shook. My breathing was strained.

“I- I don’t feel well.” I swallowed.

“I will fix you Katherine.” He promised.

“Kate… just call me Kate.” I whispered.

“Your highness?” A woman walked up to us, holding a clipboard. He thanked her when she handed it him. T’challa wrapped an arm around me and squeezed me.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Your body is deteriorating...” T’challa replied.

“I can tell that much T’challa.” I groaned.

“You’re dying.” T’challa whispered.

“Why?” My voice was just above a whisper.

“You told me about Exodus, what they did to you. The serum they gave you is attacking your body, each time you’ve used your powers… it’s been slowly killing you… your body tries to heal but that is speeding up the process.“

“I’m going to die…” I sobbed.

“We can make you a cure, it will take a day or two to produce… but it’ll destroy the serum.” T’challa held me close.

“Wouldn’t that mean I’ll be human? I’ll be like I was before all this?” I asked, sitting up.

“Yes.” T’challa answered.


	39. Chapter 39

I paced the apartment, biting my nail as I thought.

“Katie?” James called my name as he walked into the apartment in front of Steve. He rushed over and held me in his arms.

“There’s something I need to tell you two.” I told them. I gestured for them to sit on the sofa. They both looked worried as they sat.

“I’m dying.” I whispered.

“What?” They both exclaimed.

“The stuff Exodus did to me… that made me _this_ ,” I gestured to myself. “It’s killing me. T’challa’s people are making a cure but…”

“But?” Steve pressed.

“I’ll be me… before Exodus… I’ll be human again.” I replied.

“And?” James raised a brow.

“Will you both love me still?” I quietly asked. They both exchanged a horrified look before standing and embracing me, sandwiching me between them.

“Why wouldn’t we?”

“I won’t be special will I? You fell in love with the person with powers, with abilities, not with me for before… and with them gone… I-“

“We fell in love with _you_ , _fuck_ your powers!” James growled out.

“We fell in love with your kindness, your want to help people. We fell in love with your smile, how the corners of your eyes crinkle when you laugh. We fell in love the way you’ll tell a story and forget where you are when you get so into it-“

“The way you sing with all you’ve got and you’ll forget everything around you. We fell in love the way you hold us close when we sleep, even more so when you curl up to us and even more when you’re sprawled over us. They way you’ll cook us exactly what we want and we don’t even need to say a word. We fell in love with you because you’re everything we need and more. You can read us both like an open book.” James interrupted Steve. I cried softly at their words.

 

“We fell in love with the way you moan when we kiss you. The sounds you make when we tip you over the edge.” Steve whispered in my ear then pressed a kiss against the side of my neck. I moaned softly at his words

“The way you writhe as we touch you… taste you…” James’ hands travelled down to my waist.

“The sound of you begging for us to give you what you desperately need fills our hearts with so much love for you.” Steve gently kissed down my neck suckling as he did. My breathing became heavier as Steve nipped at my neck and his hands drifted lower to the tops of my inner thighs.

“You’re wearing too many clothes.” James breathed into my ear. I then heard the rip of my top.

“James!” I cried out. He just shrugged in response. Steve suddenly picked me up and carried my to my bedroom, James following just behind him. Steve threw me onto the bed, I bit my lip and tried to stop the whine wanting to escape at the sight of both men stood at the bottom of my bed, side by side, their eyes dark with want. Steve crawled up the bed first, pushing me to lay down, he placed his forearm above my head to support himself. He slowly leant down and pressed gentle kisses against my lips, I pulled him down to kiss him back hard, his lips were so soft. I squealed as I felt wet kisses on my abdomen, working higher.

 

Steve pulled away and grinned down at James as he crawled up my body pressing open mouthed kisses to my skin. Steve’s fingers got lost in my hair as he watched James make his way up my body. James lifted me up a little so he could reach around with his left hand and unfasten my bra, I giggled as the cold metal met my skin. He eased the fabric away and tossed it to the side. He made eye contact with me then dipped his head down to take a nipple into his mouth, his tongue laving around it. He drew back and softly blew making it a hard peak, I groaned and tossed my head back, my gaze meeting Steve’s. His gaze was fixed on James. Cold fingers gently teased and pulled at my other nipple as James dipped his head again and sucked and grazed my nipple with his teeth. Then I felt Steve’s touch graze my side and go lower past my abdomen and to the top of my shorts, the sensation tickling me. I moaned softly as James pulled away and swapped, closing his mouth around the nipple he had neglected, his right hand gently massaging my other breast. My gasp was swallowed by Steve’s kiss as his hand disappeared below my shorts, his fingers rubbing me through my panties.

“She’s so wet Buck. Absolutely soaked and dripping.” Steve declared.

“Mmm. Is she tight?” James pulled away a moment to ask. I moaned long and low as Steve moved my panties to the side, he dipped his fingers past my folds and groaned as he felt how wet I was. He gathered my arousal on his fingers and slowly slid a finger in my opening. My hips rose from the bed at the feeling of Steve working his finger in and out of me.

“She’s _very_ tight. Squeezing my finger tight aren’t you sweetheart?” Steve whispered the last bit in my ear.

 

James propped himself up on his elbow and leaned over to kiss my neck, then my jaw then meld his lips to mine. He swallowed my moans as Steve stroked my walls then added a second finger and started to work me faster. I whined when Steve’s fingers disappeared leaving me empty.

“Don’t worry Kate.” Steve’s voice got further away from me. I hooked my arms around the back of James’ neck and pulled him closer, he worked one hand underneath me so he could hold me to his chest. Steve pulled my shorts and panties down my legs and dropped them on the floor. I involuntarily opened my legs for him, he stroked my inner thigh.

“Good girl. You want my mouth on you don’t you? Want my fingers working your clit till you come all over my tongue?” Steve teased me. I nodded my head as I broke away from kissing James. Our breathing was hard and fast.

“Make her come hard Steve.” James glanced down to his friend and lover, I saw as they exchanged a grin. Steve gripped my thigh as he licked up my sex applying pressure to my clit as he reached the top. My hips bucked at the feeling, my nerves on fire. Steve slapped my leg making me cry out and tip my head back. James leaned over me, his fingers gently stroking my face, focusing around the scar around my eye. He watched my face as Steve lapped at my sex, his tongue dipping into my opening, his fingers rubbing and circling my clit hard. James would lean down and press loving kisses to my lips every so often.

“W-wearing too many clothes!” I exclaimed as my hands came to grasp at James’ shirt. He laughed, joy shining in his eyes, he quickly removed his shirt and dropped it onto the floor. I glanced down to see him straining in his jeans.

“R- remember when we,” I moaned as Steve licked a harsh stripe up my sex and suckled my clit trying to regain my attention. “Had sex?”

“How can I forget?” He chuckled pressing another kiss to my lips.

“I think… I think it’s time I made you feel good.” I blushed with my words.

“After Steve over there has made you come.” James whispered.

 

I arched my back as Steve laved over my clit, his fingers working inside me, stroking my walls gently. Steve pulled away and offered his fingers to James.

“Want a taste?” Steve asked. James moved and grasped Steve’s wrist and brought his fingers to his mouth. He licked one of Steve’s fingers then took them into his mouth. Steve and I both moaned at James’ actions.

“Make her come.” James ordered Steve as he pulled away. Steve dipped his head low and licked and sucked at my dripping flesh until I was writhing needing to find release.

“Please!” I begged. Steve’s thumb applied pressure to my clit as his tongue laved at my opening. I cried out as he tipped me over the edge, I was shaking as I came down from my high. I felt Steve gently licking my opening, I watched as he stood and dragged James to his feet and kissed him. James buried his fingers in Steve’s hair as he moaned and brushed his hips against Steve’s. James tore at Steve’s shirt till it was in pieces on the floor, they kissed each other hurriedly as they pulled at each others jeans trying to remove them as fast as possible.

“Kate.” Steve gasped for air, parting from a bruising kiss.

“Y-yeah?”

“My room, bedside table, bottom drawer. Now!” Steve ordered. I quickly clambered off the bed and pressed a kiss to each man’s lips before quickly making my way to Steve’s room. I returned holding a bottle of lube, I handed it Steve before sitting on the edge of the bed. Both men were now completely naked, I bit my lip as my gaze fell to their hard cocks, Steve leaned over and pulled my lip from my teeth, giving me a warning look.

“You wanted to pleasure Buck right?” Steve spoke as he opened the bottle.

“Yes, of course!” I exclaimed.

“Kneel on the floor sweetheart.” He ordered. I rested on my knees beside the bed.

“She’s very good with her mouth Buck. Very good.” Steve whispered into James’ ear, he moaned in response, his eyes glued to my kneeling figure. Steve pushed James until he was stood close to me, he gently bent him over, his cock resting on my lips, I gave a small lick to the slit of his cock earning a groan from James. James’s hands drifted through my hair as Steve worked behind him, I could only guess what he was doing. James hissed suddenly, his hips moving forward, I opened my mouth, taking his cock into it.

 

Each time Steve pushed into James, he pushed him further into my mouth. Steve’s hand wrapped round the front of James and stroked the part I couldn’t take. The erotic moans above me from both men made me drip, I couldn’t stop my hand sliding down my body to stroke my clit. The pleasure I caused myself made me moan over James’ cock, his hips snapping forward.

“Steve! Katie!” James moaned. His grip on my hair tightened.

“Come in her mouth Buck.” Steve whispered to James. Steve whispered something else that I didn’t hear but whatever he said was all it took for James to come in my mouth. I sucked hard, swallowing all that he gave me. Suddenly James nudged my hand away from my clit with his foot as he came down from his orgasm. He let himself collapse back on the bed, breathing heavily. Instead Steve helped me up from the floor and placed me on the bed beside James. I glanced over to him, I saw the wide smile on his face, he pushed himself over and kissed me passionately, his hand coming to rest on my neck to keep me in place. When he pulled away he rested his forehead on mine and giggled, _he just fucking giggled!_ It was the most beautiful and sweet sound I had ever heard.

 

James pulled away and sat against the headboard, his body still relaxed from his orgasm. I looked over to Steve who stood at the end of the bed looking down at me thoughtfully. Slowly he climbed onto the bed and crawled up my body pressing kisses as he went. After he kissed me on my lips he leaned down to my ear and whispered loud enough for both James and I to hear.

“I’m going to fuck you, hard. And,” Steve gathered both my wrists in his grip and pinned them above my head. “You’re going to let Buck here hold your wrists so you can’t touch yourself.”

I shivered and moaned at his words, then I felt James’ bionic hand close around my wrists. _I’m definitely not getting out of this._ Steve guided his length into my opening then snapped his hips forward filling me. He groaned long and low his head resting against my shoulder.

“She’s so wet and tight Buck. How she squeezes my cock, it’s amazing.” Steve pulled James’ head down to kiss him hard. Then Steve started to move, snapping his hips forward again and again, he set a relentless pace. I writhed and moaned uncontrollably. I wrapped my legs around Steve’s waist making him go deeper. He slowed and nearly fully withdrew before extremely slowly filling me again. I sighed and tossed my head back, I tried to pull my arms free from James’ grasp but that received a disapproving look from him. James was growing hard again as Steve started to increase his pace, the wet sounds and skin colliding with skin arousing him. Steve’s hips started to stutter as he came close to his orgasm, he grunted as he tried to control himself.

“Let go Steve. I want to see you come.” James spoke, his voice an octave deeper, his eyes glued to Steve. Steve cried out as he spilt himself inside of me, the feeling was enough to tip me over the edge for a second time.

 

James climbed off the bed as Steve slowly pulled out of me, groaning lowly. Suddenly Steve yelped as James slapped his ass telling him to sit by the headboard. I watched the ceiling as I came down from my orgasm.

“Come here doll.” James encouraged. I sat up and crawled over to James at the end of the bed. He dipped his head to press a loving kiss to my lips. He then started whispering in my ear so Steve wouldn’t hear. I nodded, a smile on my face. I leant up and kissed James and gently bit his lip as I pulled away. As I crawled up the bed toward Steve James knelt on the bed behind me.

“Kate?” Steve cocked a brow as I settled between his legs, his cock twitched. I gently stroked his cock until he became hard again, he moaned gently as I did. As I took the head of his cock into my mouth, James pushed his cock into my opening still dripping with Steve and I’s come. James slapped my ass before massaging it to calm to sting. We were all hyper sensitive so it didn’t take long for James’ thrusting into me hard and fast to cause me to come again. My moans made Steve come in my mouth as I sucked on his cock, and my walls squeezing James’ cock made him fill me with his come.

 

We all collapsed on the bed in an entwined sweat coated and sex smelling mess. There was a moment of near silence as we all caught our breath, then we were all laughing. I fell asleep from exhaustion with a super soldier and ex-assassin wrapped around me.

 

A few days later I wandered to the lab, James and Steve a step behind me, as I went for the cure. James, Steve and T’challa stayed with me all day as the cure was introduced into my body through several IV drips. It didn’t take long for me to start feeling healthy. The day after I announced to the rest of the team the situation I was in, Wanda was the first to embrace me.

“You’re okay now?” Her accented voice worried.

“T’challa says I need some tests every so often just to make sure the serum Exodus gave me is gone, but yes, I’m okay.” I replied.

“Oh thank God! I was struggling to keep you being sick from those two quiet.” Scott breathed out in relief. I laughed as I hugged him tightly. For a few days after, James and Steve kept me to themselves in our apartment, nursing me back to full health and keeping me entertained. Whether it was by watching the TV, playing some kind of game or telling me stories of their childhood to during the war. For the first time in a long, long time I was truly happy with nothing to worry about.


	40. Epilogue

I was sat outside, on the edge of the Wakanda forest. I sighed happily as the sounds of tropical birds filled my ears.

“Where’s Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum?” Sam’s voice was beside me.

“Somewhere over there,” I motioned to the forest. “Can’t you hear them?”

We were silent for a moment before I saw Sam grin at the sounds of laughter and giggling. I sat up and saw James and Steve wandering out of the forest, fruit in their hands. Held in their arms and resting on their hips were two small children.

“Am I allowed to say how creepy it is that those kids look _exactly_ like their fathers?” Sam asked. I laughed and stood to greet them.

“Hello you two.” I kissed Steve then James. The incessant grabbing from the small children made us all laugh, I bent down and pressed a kiss to each of the children’s cheeks.

“Hello to you two too.” I greeted.

“They got tired.” James explained as he gently placed the brown haired girl on the ground and watched as she wandered over to Sam and pulled at his leg for him to pick her up.

“No kid. Not a chance.” Sam spoke to the girl. I smiled as she pouted and Sam relented and picked her up.

“Just like you.” I mentioned to James. I held my arms out and took the blonde girl from Steve.

“Hello Sarah.” I stroked her cheek earning a laugh from her.

“Rebecca don’t-“ James cried as he rushed over to Sam.

 

We all wandered back inside, Rebecca now in James’ arms. A few weeks after I had returned to being just standard old me which I was growing to accept, I started to fall sick, at first we all panicked and went to T’challa. We then found out I was pregnant, miraculously with two babies. Everyone was beyond shocked but James and Steve were ecstatic at the thought of being fathers. It was a long nine months and they were glad when it was over because I had become a grumpy bitch. We named Steve’s daughter after his mother and James’ daughter after his sister Rebecca. They’d learnt to walk only a few months ago but preferred not to. Steve was a natural father, he made it look easy and helped James step into the roll. Their eyes always lit up when they saw their little girl. Sarah and Rebecca got along really well, it was almost like watching the friendship Steve and James had growing up.

 

T’challa and the other members of the disbanded Avengers became aunts and uncles to Rebecca and Sarah. Sam of course was the God-father, and Wanda the God-mother.

 

The room fell silent as we turned the TV on to see breaking news on most channels. I swallowed thickly as I saw the destruction and glanced over to Steve and James. Suddenly a phone began to ring and Steve jumped for it.

“Tony.” Steve breathed. I stiffened when I realised what was about to happen.

“Okay. We’ll be there as soon as we can,” Steve sighed. “Katherine is fine, I- I’ll tell you more when we all get there. See you soon.” Steve ended the call.

“It’s serious isn’t it? For Tony to call?”

“Yes. It’s bad. He’s asked us _all_ to come back. Even you Buck.” Steve turned to James.

“So you’re leaving?” I asked.

“Tony really needs us. But, you stay here okay? You won’t be in danger here.” Steve explained.

 

I listened to the meeting Steve called, even asking T’challa to join, which he did. It was unanimous, they were all to go and help with the imminent threat to the world.

“We leave tomorrow.” Steve announced, ending the meeting. That night I cried in the arms of the men I loved, realising that they were leaving. That there was a chance they might not come back.

 

I stood holding Rebecca and Sarah in my arms, Steve and James pressed a kiss to their daughter’s forehead then each pressed a bruising kiss to my lips.

“Come back alive.” I told them both.

“It takes a lot to kill us Katie, don’t worry.” James stroked my cheek.

“I’ll watch the news.” I replied. The two men gave me a final kiss before making their way onto the jet.

“Wave to daddy.” I spoke to the children in my arms. They waved frantically at their fathers who waved back once they were aboard the aircraft.

“Dada…” The two girls spoke, confusion in their voices at seeing their fathers in their uniform and leaving.

“Your daddies are going to help save the world.” I cried softly as the jet set off, quickly disappearing from sight. _Come back to me, come back safe, both of you._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have it. The end. Thanks to everyone who stayed with this to the end. xx


End file.
